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Candorville

Comics about identities.

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-30 identity 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-30 Pub. Date: 2018-05-30
Image Number: 171947
Caption: They removed me from the voter rolls too, Lemont. It's called vote caging. Yeah … This sort of thing happens to me all the time. In 2000, they said I couldn't vote because I was a convicted felon. But I wasn't. In 2004, all the voting machines at my precinct mysteriously failed, and then they said the paper ballots had been eaten by wild rabbits. In 2016, they said I was 3/8th of an inch shorter than my driver's license showed. I believe I warned you not to fib about that.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-30 identity 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-30 Pub. Date: 2018-04-30
Image Number: 171052
Caption: Want to come over? I'll watch old Star Trek reruns with you. No offense … but it's not really fun watching "Trek" with you. Just when I'm really feeling it, you always say something to cheapen the experience … You even ruined the single most shocking moment in all of Trek history: When the Borg assimilates Captain Picard and he announces his new identity to the crew. How did my saying I am locutus of bored ruin anything? You had your chance.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-08 identity 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-08 Pub. Date: 2017-10-08
Image Number: 162900
Caption: Big L, you seen a doctor yet 'bout that heart attack you had? I didn't have a "heart attack," Clyde. All I had was pain in my arm, between my shoulder blades, in my chest, jaw and upper abdomen. Plus I was dizzy, fatigues and had heartburn. That could've been anything. And anyway, I took care of it myself. I started biking, gave up red meat, etc ... just in case. Anyway, I don't have health insurance. I earn too much for Medicaid and too little pay the Obamacare premiums. I got a solution for you, bruh ... Ok ... As long as it doesn't involve identity theft, Fake IDs and possible jail time. Hm ... well, then I got a different solution for you ... As long as it doesn't involve sneaking into another country. Well ... then I got a different solution ...
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-30 identity 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-30 Pub. Date: 2017-09-30
Image Number: 163102
Caption: Dear Lemon Brown: Unfortunately, we at Equifax must inform you that hackers breached our security weeks ago. Your social security number, address, credit history, and pants size may have been compromised. It appears the only personal information of yours that wasn't compromised was your signature. To sign up for our credit monitoring service, please sign here.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-07 identity 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-07 Pub. Date: 2017-01-07
Image Number: 152860
Caption: Hello, wrong number, you've reached the home of Lemont Brown. Yes, I am absolutely sure I'm not the person you're trying to call. Feel free to call back a third time just in case I've realized I actually AM the person I'm not. Beep.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-09 identity 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-09 Pub. Date: 2016-11-09
Image Number: 150714
Caption: Lemont runs into a curious stranger at the American Pub in Vancouver. On my earth, America voted wrong. WW III Vet. I was kind of hoping that wouldn't happen here. Well … that's nice. Not really. He's in search of the best possible earth. There, he'll dispose of "Lemont" and assume his identity. You know what they say about assuming. Do you have to say that every ... single ... time?
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-05-22 identity 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-05-22 Pub. Date: 2016-05-22
Image Number: 143085
Caption: 1984. Do you think Terrence likes me, Lemont? Who's "Terrence"? I don't know any "Terrence." I know a "Turbo," and a "C-dog," and a "Rerun," and a "Big Oatmeal," and a "Greazy." I know a "Night Court," a "Shorty," a "Cheese-face," a "Rocky," and "Airwolf," a "Riptide," a "Boss," a "Voltron," a "Schoolbreak Special," and a "Big Cheeto." In fact, I'm pretty sure if there was a "Terrence" in our class, he'd go to great lengths to make sure none of us ever knew it. You've asked me an unanswerable question, Susan. The fact he told you his name was "Terrence" is either proof he loves you or proof he's trying to push you away. How come you don't have a nickname? The only on I wanted was "Prince," but living up to it would be too much pressure.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-05-14 identity 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-05-14 Pub. Date: 2016-05-14
Image Number: 143026
Caption: Hello, you've reached the home of Lemont Brown. I can't come to the phone right now because the caller ID says "blocked ID," and I'm annoyed with the fact that you know who I am, but I don’t know who you are. Please leave a message and I'll call you back when I feel like talking to someone who like to have other people at a disadvantage. (This cartoon was originally published on 2014-03-01).
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-19 identity 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-19 Pub. Date: 2016-04-19
Image Number: 142113
Caption: What's wrong? I'm ruined. When the Pulitzer board called yesterday to tell me I'd won this year's Pulitzer Prize for snarky criticism, Clyde answered, accused them of running a scam, and hung up. I cussed Clyde out. I called them back at the number they called me from, and apologized profusely. They asked me a bunch of questions to prove I was really me. So you got your Pulitzer Prize?! I got my bank account stolen by someone in Nigeria!
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-15 identity 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-15 Pub. Date: 2016-03-15
Image Number: 140510
Caption: The past couple years, I've been rejected for a mortgage, a car loan, a credit card, a Macy's card, Girl Scout cookies … How is it that identity thieves were just able to open six credit cards in my name, Clyde? Maybe I should get you to teach me how to steal my own identity. (A) I'm offended you assume I know how to do that ... an' (2) here's how you do it ...
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-14 identity 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-14 Pub. Date: 2016-03-14
Image Number: 140509
Caption: I was supposed to be covering a horrible story in Uganda. But then a horrible story broke in the Ukraine. So I changed my ticket to the Ukraine and booked a room at the Motel Sixky. Turns out there is no "Motel Sixky." It was a fake website run by identity thieves. Look on the bright side: Now you got a horrible story to cover right in your house. True.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-29 identity 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-29 Pub. Date: 2015-11-29
Image Number: 135319
Caption: Wells Fraggo fraud department, Ryan speaking. How may I hinder you? I just checked my bank account, and it's overdrawn because of several $99.95 charges at zoosk.com. I want to know how this happened, Ryan. … Ok, I just did a Google search. That appears to be an online dating site. ... Also, it seems a lot of other people have complained about this same thing happening to them. It probably happened because someone is stealing ATM card numbers and using them to sign up for accounts. Calling ... Wells Fraggo Fraud Dept. (favorited). No, I mean how come you didn't think there was anything fishy about fifteen $99.95 charges from the same dating site?! Why on earth did you let those payments go through?! We figured you were just really, really desperate.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-10-09 identity 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-10-09 Pub. Date: 2015-10-09
Image Number: 133462
Caption: What's the best way to make a girl forget a guy? Pretend you ain't got no sense of humor. If a brutha don't make a woman laugh, she gonna forget about him real quick. If that don't work, change your number, change your name, an' move to another state. No, I meant I want a girl I like to forget another guy she likes. I give one piece of advice a day. Come back tomorrow.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-28 identity 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-28 Pub. Date: 2015-08-28
Image Number: 131717
Caption: Before I forget, yo' momma want you to write her more often. An' before I forget, Double-Cross raisin' your insurance premiums by $100. An' before I forget, Feudalbanc Massacard fraud prevention wanna know if you really bought six tubes of Preparation H. And before I forget, I need to change my passwords more often. I don't even wanna know why you need six tubes.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-17 identity 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-17 Pub. Date: 2015-06-17
Image Number: 128378
Caption: Hi, you don't know me, but your son was bullying mine at the playground today and you didn't make him apologize. Who is this? How did you get my phone number? I took a photo of you as you drove off, and uploaded it to Google image search which linked me to your blog. I got your number from your domain name registry. I'm pretty sure that's stalking. Keep letting your gargoyle push my son off the swings with impunity, and you'll find out about stalking.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-05-30 identity 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-05-30 Pub. Date: 2015-05-30
Image Number: 127505
Caption: I got so angry at "The Flash" the other day. Flash went to the super-villain Captain Cold for help. Dr. Noodle. And Captain Cold knew he was Barry Allen. In fact, everyone on the whole show knows his secret identity. Ph.D. I kind of flipped out when I realized that. Why'd I even care? You were jealous. All those people knowing his true identity reminded you you have very few close friends who know the real you. Shut up. You don't know me.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-01-07 identity 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-01-07 Pub. Date: 2015-01-07
Image Number: 121078
Caption: We're several different people, Clyde. Say what? When I was a kid, I hated wheat bread. When I was a teen, I hated jazz. When I was 25, I hated "Star Trek: Enterprise." Now I love all that stuff. I'm not the same person I was 30, 20 or even 10 years ago. You need me to get you a new ID? I know a guy.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-09-11 identity 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-09-11 Pub. Date: 2014-09-11
Image Number: 116186
Caption: I've never been happier about the fact that I don’t own my own home. Home Depot may have just been targeted by credit-card hackers. If I were a home owner, I'd shop at Home Depot all the time. My credit card info would've been stolen, and identity thieves would have ruined my life. I've got nothing to worry about unless they start hacking TRANSIENTS DEPOT. Whatever makes you feel better, dude.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-09-09 identity 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-09-09 Pub. Date: 2014-09-09
Image Number: 116184
Caption: Turns out all them celebrities' nekkit photos got hacked 'cause they used weak passwords an' security questions. They public figures. I bet some of they answers was stuff anyone could Google. For instance … … Anyone who Google YOU know YOUR favorite color be "hot pink," Big L. SHAMROCK GREEN, not "hot pink." Noted. ... I mean "oh."
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-05-13 identity 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-05-13 Pub. Date: 2014-05-13
Image Number: 111230
Caption: Erebody outraged that the Clippers owner told his girl not to hang out with black people like Magic Johnson. But where was "erebody" when that same dude was disrespecting minorities in his apartment building for 30 years? Disrespect average people? No problem. But disrespect pro athletes? You over. So you didn't legally change your name to "Magic Johnson" for identity theft purposes? How dare you impugn Magic Johnson motives.
     
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