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Candorville

Comics about houses.

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101. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-10-09 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-10-09 Pub. Date: 2011-10-09
Image Number: 66121
Caption: Dr. Noodle. I earn as much as my brother, and he just bought a house. So I tried to buy one too only to find out I can't, because I'm self-employed. And lenders now won't give a mortgage because all my legitimate business deductions make it look like my income is a lot smaller than it really is. So I have two choices. Give up my business and get a full-time job, or stop taking deductions and owe the IRS $20 grand. Hmmm ... I see. Or I can get a cosigner. Well, it appears our time is up. It's only been two minutes. Speaking of which, how's your credit score?
     
102. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-09-09 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-09-09 Pub. Date: 2011-09-09
Image Number: 65249
Caption: Lemont, I was never going to tell you about this, but … I'm leaving Webster. What? Tap tap t - Facebook messages. From Sasha Mitchell. I have a duffle bag hidden in the closet. It has my license, my green card, the address of a safe house and $3,000 in cash that I've been saving for over a year. So it's not a mutual breakup, is what you're saying. Tap tap t -
     
103. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-08-27 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-08-27 Pub. Date: 2011-08-27
Image Number: 64821
Caption: We started out livin' in nature. Trees an' grass an' grass an' flowers an' whatnot. Then we built huts an' then houses. We put up walls an' doors an' locks to shut nature out. An' then we buy potted plants and aquariums, almost as if we want some of that nature back but only if it's got its own walls around it. Whatever. I said, stop breaking into my house!
     
104. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-07-10 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-07-10 Pub. Date: 2011-07-10
Image Number: 63062
Caption: My brother's buying a house. I didn't know that was really possible. We never owned anything growing up. We couldn't afford books, so we'd go to the library. We couldn’t afford a car so we'd take the bus ... We come from a long line of renters. I'd convinced myself it had to be that way. After all we're all only renting our time on this earth anyway. Ownership is a delusion. The only thing we can really own is our soul. I see. You're wondering if you can conquer the limits you've placed on yourself, like your brother did. I'm wondering if my brother will rent me his basement cheap.
     
105. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-04-17 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-04-17 Pub. Date: 2011-04-17
Image Number: 59642
Caption: Let's play house. You pretend to yell at me about my lack of commitment, and I'll be too busy Facebooking an old college girlfriend to notice.
     
106. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-04-14 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-04-14 Pub. Date: 2011-04-14
Image Number: 59639
Caption: Lemont? Are you still there? Yes, Billy. Why? No reason. A six-year-old child shouldn't be all alone while his mom is away working. Lemont? Want to share my birthday cake? I can slide it under the door. Please don't leave. I'm scared when I'm all alone. Sure. Don't worry, I'll stay till your mom gets back.
     
107. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-04-07 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-04-07 Pub. Date: 2011-04-07
Image Number: 59399
Caption: There's another bright side to making no money at all. Stop while you're behind. Choices. I make six figures, and have way too many choices. Stocks or CD? House or condo? 401K or shady Panamanian and Cayman bank accounts? You really are lucky you don't have to face any of these choices. Wait. Back up. I choose not to.
     
108. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-03-12 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-03-12 Pub. Date: 2011-03-12
Image Number: 58318
Caption: Hello UPS-guy, you've reached Lemont Brown in apartment 3B. I'm not here at the moment … … because I'm downstairs in the bushes holding a big net. I'm waiting for you to buzz my apartment just once before leaving a "sorry we missed you" slip and trying to take off before I have a chance to answer. At the sound of the beep, turn around 'cause I'm standing right behind you.
     
109. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-11-20 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-11-20 Pub. Date: 2010-11-20
Image Number: 54275
Caption: Mainstream Media. Obama's Democrats just lost the House of Representatives! Clearly this means the country is repudiating liberalism! Clinton's Democrats just lost the House and the Senate! Clearly this means the country is repudiating liberalism! Reagan's Republicans just lost the House of Representatives! Clearly this country is repudiating conservatism!
     
110. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-10-24 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-10-24 Pub. Date: 2010-10-24
Image Number: 53251
Caption: The Great Recession. Dude … top economists just told me you were supposed to be out of here over a year ago. Heh. GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!! Heh. … At least give me back my remote. Heh.
     
111. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-09-19 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-09-19 Pub. Date: 2010-09-19
Image Number: 51944
Caption: 2010. Look at this! Racist signs at the tea party rallies! That means the tea party is racist! You can't blame the whole institution for the actions of a few bad apples. 2002. Look at this! Huge corporations are ripping us off! That means capitalism is broken! You can't blame the whole institution for the actions of a few bad apples. 1976. Look at this! "Welfare queens" buying houses and fancy cars on my taxpayer money! that means welfare is a huge fraud! You can't blame the whole institution for the actions of a few bad apples.
     
112. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-06-10 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-06-10 Pub. Date: 2010-06-10
Image Number: 48211
Caption: This is not at all what I mean by "house-sit for me."
     
113. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-06-04 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-06-04 Pub. Date: 2010-06-04
Image Number: 48016
Caption: Hello, Mom, you've reached the home of Lemont Brown. I can't come to the phone right now because I'm out buying clean underwear, in case I get into an accident. HELLO! THIS IS 97 FM! If you'd answered, you'd have won $100,000!
     
114. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-06-01 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-06-01 Pub. Date: 2010-06-01
Image Number: 48013
Caption: Hello, Mom, you've reached the home of Lemont Brown. I can't come to the phone because I'm flying to Walnut Creek to give a big speech and forgot to invite you. Please leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I need someone to pinch my cheeks while I work.
     
115. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-05-31 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-05-31 Pub. Date: 2010-05-31
Image Number: 48012
Caption: Hello, Mom, you've reached the home of Lemont Brown. I can't come to the phone right now because I'm out doing who knows what with who knows whom. Please leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I learn to be considerate.
     
116. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-05-08 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-05-08 Pub. Date: 2010-05-08
Image Number: 47015
Caption: Hello, Mom, you've reached the home of Lemont Brown. I can't come to the phone right now because I'm out mismanaging my money and letting deadbeats take advantage of my naïve and generous nature. Please leave a message and I'll get back to you when the manipulative people in my life all say it's ok. Beep.
     
117. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-03-20 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-03-20 Pub. Date: 2010-03-20
Image Number: 45149
Caption: Hello, Mom, you've reached the home of Lemont Brown. I can't come to the phone right now because I went back to school and I'm busy getting whatever certificate or degree you think I should be getting instead of wasting my life chasing my dream. Please leave a message at the beep, and I'll call you back to let you know when and where I'll be graduating. BEEP.
     
118. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-01-30 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-01-30 Pub. Date: 2010-01-30
Image Number: 43366
Caption: Hello, Mom, you've reached the home of Lemont Brown. I can't come to the phone right now because I'm being a selfish, no-good ingrate who never goes out of his way to contact the people who love him. Leave a message at the sound of the beep, and I'll get back to you when I've learned to value the people in my life. Beep.
     
119. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-01-29 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-01-29 Pub. Date: 2010-01-29
Image Number: 43365
Caption: Roxanne? How'd you get in here? It's way past visiting hours. I just want you to know Daddy took care of your health care bills as a wedding gift. After we're married, Daddy'll teach you the family business, we'll get you a normal haircut, and we'll move to a big house Daddy bought us in posh hills. Oh, Lem-Lem, I'M SO EXCITED!!! Is this a bad time to tell you I've leaving you and suing for custody of Lionel?
     
120. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-12-05 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-12-05 Pub. Date: 2009-12-05
Image Number: 41434
Caption: (a) No, I hadn't heard the recession was over, and (b) your house is on my foot.
     
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