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Candorville

Comics about houses.

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-10 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-10 Pub. Date: 2018-05-10
Image Number: 171292
Caption: I'm working on an article called The Unified Theory of Everything. But I've hit a snag. Every single science-related government agency I've contacted is stonewalling me. None of them will provide someone I can interview. NASA … the EPA … USGS … NSF … NOAA ... They all gave me the phone number for a new oversight department run out of the White House. It's called the Mendacious yammering Obstruction Bureau ... MYOB?
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-28 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-28 Pub. Date: 2018-04-28
Image Number: 170824
Caption: I told you we should've held on to the cardboard box until the housing market picked back up. Need $ 4 shelter.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-10 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-10 Pub. Date: 2018-02-10
Image Number: 168185
Caption: Can Lionel come to my house and play? No. Why not, Lemont? First of all, it's Mister Brown to you. Second of all, it's 'cause last time he did, he came home calling me Lemont. What have your parents taught you about respecting your elders, Malcolm? That's Mister Malcolm to you, Lemont.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-04 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-04 Pub. Date: 2018-02-04
Image Number: 167354
Caption: More than 170 million of us might have radium in our tap water, Clyde. Radium. Do you have any idea what this means? What it mean, Big L? Canada or Bust! It means we may be drinking radioactive water. It could cause all sorts of things: anemia, bone cancer, cataracts, fractured teeth, death ... invisibility, super speed, wings, teleportation, mind-reading, laser eyes, crime-fighting, and a spandex-and-cape fetish. I'm just trying to look on the bright side of living in a country where the White House keeps nominating a person who's known for falsifying data to get around water safety regulations to be head of the White House Council of Environmental Quality. I don't drink nothin' but Pepsi, bruh, so I don't care 'bout none of this. I'm gonna have to start working out if I have to wear spandex.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-26 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-26 Pub. Date: 2018-01-26
Image Number: 167654
Caption: Twitter. Twitter.comcandorville. @candorville - I read your article about Orpah maybe running for president. I agree with you, the amateurization of America, from Uber to academia to AirBnB to the White House, is a troubling trend. If only we'd all get certified by taking awesome online courses for only $299/month at tinyurl.com/bxn8Lm6. They just get sneakier and sneakier. Anyway, I'm totally just a fan writing to tell you I love your work.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-18 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-18 Pub. Date: 2018-01-18
Image Number: 167358
Caption: This C-Dog. Whachoo want, fool? Clyde, it's me, Lemont. I just wanna say thanks for watching Lionel for me tonight. Just an FYI: I'm potty training him, so please don't put a diaper on him till bedtime. Also, he's refusing to use the potty, so he may jump up and run around the house in mid-poop. Why you ain't tell me all this BEFORE I agreed to watch him?! No reason. (Originally published on 2015-12-31)
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-11-27 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-11-27 Pub. Date: 2017-11-27
Image Number: 165417
Caption: How's your mom, Lemont? She's great. That's good, that's good. How 'bout mentally? She's not forgetting your name … not forgetting how she got to your house … not calling you "Delfina"? Um … how's your mom, Susan? Fine, nothing's wrong. At all. Susan … you know you can tell me anything. "Anything." ... Yeah, you were right. Well, gotta go.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-11-26 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-11-26 Pub. Date: 2017-11-26
Image Number: 165350
Caption: Women and men are coming forward and exposing all the powerful guys who've sexually harassed them. Its making me feel awfully worried and guilty. Dr. Noodle. Why? I'm worried that at any moment, a victim is going to come forward and ruin my life. That's natural. Think about it this way, though. If whoever it is you abused does come forward, you'll have a chance to come clean and clear your conscience. Huh? I've never abused anyone. I'm confused. I've already lost "House of Cards." This seems to be so pervasive, I could lose everything I spend my life watching. What'll I lose next, "Walking Dead"? "Man in the High Castle"? ... If they take "Big Bang Theory" my life'll pretty much be over. Just curious: Have you ever heard the phrases "get a life" and "it's not about you"? Hence the guilt.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-11-06 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-11-06 Pub. Date: 2017-11-06
Image Number: 164649
Caption: The president's chief of staff, General John Kelly, was right: the Civil War happened 'cause the country did not compromise. Say what? Maybe they should've tried … oh, I don't know … splitting the difference and saying black people were worth 3/5ths of a person. Or maybe they should've admitted a slave state for every new free state admitted or maybe Lincoln should've just offered to limit slavery's expansion instead of ending it. Or maybe they should've passed some sort of "Fugitive Slave Act." I hate "Sarcasm Monday"! I'm glad the White House is filled with people who really know your history.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-25 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-25 Pub. Date: 2017-10-25
Image Number: 164149
Caption: Studies show that teachers are more likely to harshly punish black students than they are white ones who do the same things. Even black teachers do it. How am I supposed to feel comfortable sending my baby boy out into the world when I know this sort of stuff happens? They done called me a "troublemaker" from day one. Didn't do me no harm. Maybe I'll home-school him till he's got his Ph.D. It was educational. I bee in the principal office so much that I learned exactly where he keep his spare house keys.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-27 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-27 Pub. Date: 2017-09-27
Image Number: 163099
Caption: Guess what daddy heard on the radio today, son? I heard that an English settler named Clarence Hornswaggler stole the recipe for popcorn from Native Americans. It was an early example of cultural appropriation, and we don't encourage that sort of thing in this house. I thtill want popcorn fow dinnew. (Sigh), ok, let's try this: No popcorn for dinner because I said so.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-14 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-14 Pub. Date: 2017-09-14
Image Number: 162600
Caption: I don't want to be that guy, but … But what? Well … you notice anything about all the old sitcoms they're bringing back? "Full House" … "Will & Grace" … "Roseanne" … "Gilmore Girls" … How come nobody's talking about bringing back "227" … "A Different World" ... "Living Single" ... "Family Matters" ... "Moesha" ... "The Cosby Show" ... Stop trying to change the subject and admit you lost that argument we had two weeks ago. Wait, wait ... scratch "The Cosby Show."
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-06 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-06 Pub. Date: 2017-07-06
Image Number: 159982
Caption: Meanwhile, in Candorville … Susan … I know you've always been allergic to commitment. I know you've bailed on every serious relationship you've ever had … Have not. At four, after a week of playing house with Wilfred, you pretended he didn't even exits. At fourteen, after you and your lifelong friend "Turbo" started dating, you faked amnesia. I don't remember that. I never would've told you about my past if I'd known you were gonna throw it in my face. Come on out. I promise this is nothing commitmenty.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-19 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-19 Pub. Date: 2017-06-19
Image Number: 159388
Caption: Breaking news! The White House is urging Russia to intervene in the North Pole's civil war to secure the release of hostages held by elfin rebels. Click … Canadian homeowners are urged to check for bunny holes before mowing their laws, after a gruesome ... Click. After seven male senators in a row interrupted the witness' answers, Senator McCain scolded Sen. Kamala Harris for doing the exact same thing. Click. Gilligaaaan ... the Skipper tooooooo.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-11 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-11 Pub. Date: 2017-06-11
Image Number: 158398
Caption: Man, Lemont … how long's it been? Twenty years? Just about. You still working at Pigville Pork Burgers? Nah … I got a job as the Candorville Chronicles White House correspondent. Then I went on to found Candorville.com, the internet's seventh largest source for news and opinion. Oh. That's cool. That's cool. How do you not know this? We're Facebook friends. I post links to my articles every day. We were roommates all through college, and you don't even read my updates? Facebook's for reading you-stuff? I thought it was just for posting me-stuff. I'm sorry, man. I feel horrible. As you should ... Anyway, you still working as a roadie for Hootie and the Blowfish?
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-28 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-28 Pub. Date: 2017-05-28
Image Number: 157865
Caption: Sometimes I think you don't really like my mother. When I told you she's coming to stay with us for a month … you didn't say anything for five whole seconds. And then all you said was "ok." It would've been nice if you'd been enthusiastic and happy, and talked about all the fun things we'll do with her, and about how grateful you are she wants to spend time with us. I just don't relish the thought have having two people in our house who judge my every word. There you go with the five seconds again. You're such a jerk. Being single is underrated.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-25 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-25 Pub. Date: 2017-05-25
Image Number: 158343
Caption: Federal Agent Murph … just so I get this straight, I'm not a suspect in the potential Russian blackmailing of the president? Of course not. I'm counting on you to cover it. As a journalist. I suspect my superiors are caving to pressure from the White House. My investigation may hit a brick wall. So the press may be our only hope to at least get it all out there. And since the suspect Rudy Park is your old roomie, I figured you'd want to be the one to tail him to Moscow. Then why am I tied up in the back of your van mphmph. Figured you'd like a ride to the airport. You're welcome.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-15 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-15 Pub. Date: 2017-05-15
Image Number: 158076
Caption: This just in: A week's worth of oil has been found deep beneath Canardville, a suburb of Candorville. Oil companie … click. Photo of the Trump sons, Uday and Qusay, hunting an endangered bearicorn. The elusive half-bear, half-unicorn hybrid was once thought to be a myth, but ... Click. Putin appoints the notorious oligarch Kovarstvo Prestupnik to head up the newly created "Ministry of Blackmailing White House Stooges." Click. Gilligaaaaan, the Skipper tooooo ... the millionaaaaire ... and his wiiiiiiiiife ...
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-14 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-14 Pub. Date: 2017-05-14
Image Number: 157342
Caption: They got to him. I don't know how, but they got to him. Dr. Noodle. I should've seen it coming, though. After all, a guy who gets all butt-hurt about questions is the White House Spokesman in charge of answering questions. A guy who opposes paid leave and equal pay is in charge of the White House's responses to women's issues. A guy who doesn't believe in climate change is in charge of the EPA. A reputed bigot is in charge of enforcing civil rights. Trump even tried to put a guy whose company violated wage, hour and child labor laws in charge of the Department of Labor. I still don't think we know what Luke Skywalker meant by "it's time for the Jedi to end." I don't like Star Wars now that I know it's set in the Trump White House.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-11 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-11 Pub. Date: 2017-05-11
Image Number: 157810
Caption: How was I supposed to know it was innocent? You asked me to "hold something" for you. Never in the history of man has that turned out well for the person who's said "ok." Yeah, well Big Oatmeal an' the rest of the boys found it in my closet. All I could think of to save my rep was to say "I sell them things for $5 at the playground." I'm still not helping you break into "Big Oatmeal's" house to steal back you old Teddy Ruxpin. You ain't no real friend.
     
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