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Candorville

Comics about houses.

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-21 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-21 Pub. Date: 2017-02-21
Image Number: 154802
Caption: You remember Omarosa from "The Apprentice"? Well, she works in the Trump White House now. According to a Washington Post reporter, another reporter said Omarosa tried to bully her by telling her she was one of several journalists the White House was keeping "dossiers" on. Wow. And you're a journalist. I can see why you're upset, Lemont. I can totally see. it. what do I have to do to get them to blackmail me? I'm always getting left out. I need to get my eyes checked.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-20 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-20 Pub. Date: 2017-02-20
Image Number: 154801
Caption: Well, you look down, Lemont. What's wrong? What could possibly be wrong? Today, the White House revoked my press credentials for asking one too many questions about their secret ties to Russia … and the Democratic party revoked my press credentials for asking one too many times why they're still using the same loser strategists ... and my baby boy revoked my dad credentials for turning off "Octonauts" one too many times. We all have bad days.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-24 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-24 Pub. Date: 2017-01-24
Image Number: 153702
Caption: 1982. What do you want to be when you grow up, Lemont? I want to be a factory worker. Then I could wear overalls and join a union and live in a big house in a small town and win the heart of a pretty girl. Papa says I'm a pretty girl. Yeah, but your dad's not rich and snobby and he'd probably approve of me. Life doesn't have to be like the movies. I just think it'd be cool to be the "boy from the wrong side of the tracks" to someone.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-27 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-27 Pub. Date: 2016-12-27
Image Number: 152625
Caption: No, momma, I don't think you should get a reverse mortgage. Why? Well, you know Steve Mnuchin, the guy Donald Trump appointed Treasury Secretary? The bank he ran used to convince old people to get reverse mortgages, then they foreclosed on a lot of those houses for the tiniest of reasons. They foreclosed on one home for an unpaid bill of 27 cents. Yes, I know Magnum P.I. said it's not a scam to steal your house. But if they have to SAY that ... (Sigh) ... Yes, momma, I know how you love Magnum P.I.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-26 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-26 Pub. Date: 2016-12-26
Image Number: 152624
Caption: Hi momma. I'm back from Canada. It was beautiful there. Can I come visit you? I just want to see the old house. My old room. I don't know why. What do you mean "that'll be $125 a night"? I don't care what "the going rate" is on AirBnB. I'm your son … What do you mean try back in the off-season.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-25 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-25 Pub. Date: 2016-12-25
Image Number: 151999
Caption: You know what really, really bugs me? People who get all upset just because I always let my dog off his leash where I'm not supposed to. Last week, Killer and I were taking our usual stroll in the park. I let the little fella off his leash just so he could get some real exercise. He deserves it as much as anyone. When he got maybe 1,000 feet from me, he came across some kid's birthday party. Killer's a curious little fella, so naturally he darted into the Bouncy House. Next thing you know, there was all this screaming, just 'cause Killer started licking the birthday boy's face and chewing on his hair. All that screaming hurt poor Killer's feelings, so naturally he started growling. Then I told them Killer was friendly, so that should've been that, right? Can you believe they demanded I buy the kid new pants? It's not my fault they never potty trained him. Forget the dogs, it's the owners who should have to get licensed.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-02 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-02 Pub. Date: 2016-07-02
Image Number: 145233
Caption: I own several properties, bruh. I got a booth in a recording studio I won in a game of dominoes, I got my apartment I won in a game of dice I got 42 houses I bought in Flint, MI, for $28 Whachoo think America would say 'bout me if I ran for president, held events at my own properties, an' then used people' campaign donations to pay myself $1 million in rent? They'd just say the same thing they say about Trump, that's it's perfectly legal. Thelma Jr. Bruh, have you met America?
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-09 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-09 Pub. Date: 2016-04-09
Image Number: 141506
Caption: I told you we should've found a cardboard box before the housing market picked back up. Need $ 4 shelter. (This cartoon was originally published on 2014-04-19).
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-27 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-27 Pub. Date: 2016-03-27
Image Number: 140573
Caption: I got a cousin in Flint, Michigan, bruh. He say I could buy a house for $2. You wanna go in on this with me? Between us, we could buy like 500 houses. Yeah, there are lots of reasons for that, Clyde. For instance haven't you been watching the news? A whole generation of children in Flint has been poisoned by lead in the water, and it may have caused a fatal disease outbreak. Yeh, but that only affect people that use water, bruh. I've been meaning to say, I think you drink WAY too much Pepsi. For a $2 house, I'll bathe in it, too.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-14 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-14 Pub. Date: 2016-03-14
Image Number: 140509
Caption: I was supposed to be covering a horrible story in Uganda. But then a horrible story broke in the Ukraine. So I changed my ticket to the Ukraine and booked a room at the Motel Sixky. Turns out there is no "Motel Sixky." It was a fake website run by identity thieves. Look on the bright side: Now you got a horrible story to cover right in your house. True.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-31 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-31 Pub. Date: 2015-12-31
Image Number: 137116
Caption: This C-Dog. Whachoo want, fool? Clyde, it's me, Lemont. I just wanna say thanks for watching Lionel for me tonight. Just an FYI: I'm potty training him, so please don't put a diaper on him till bedtime. Also, he's refusing to use the potty, so he may jump up and run around the house in mid-poop. Why you ain't tell me all this BEFORE I agreed to watch him?! No reason.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-23 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-23 Pub. Date: 2015-12-23
Image Number: 136830
Caption: Your double date gonna go well, bruh, just keep in mind it ain't no competition. I met Susan date already. It don't matter that he taller than you. It don't matter that he richer, stronger, prettier, smarter, an' funnier than you, neither. Maybe I should just stay home. Oh, that's what I forgot. Brotha got a better home than you, too.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-10-18 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-10-18 Pub. Date: 2015-10-18
Image Number: 133464
Caption: I never liked Donald Trump. I always thought he was just a blowhard. What are you talking about? You were crazy about Trump. Just last month you were right here, wearing a Trump hat, holding a Trump poster, and reading Trump's book. You told me you'd renamed your goldfish "Donald," and you had colored your hair orange. Newsweak. You said you were picking up "illegals" from in front of Home Depot to help you build a wall around your house. Let's not pretend you weren't totally into Trump. Who is this "Trump" of whom you speak? Stop that.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-18 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-18 Pub. Date: 2015-08-18
Image Number: 131275
Caption: I don't see why you wanna buy a house, Big L. Because that's how families build wealth. I want to own something I could leave to my son that'll change his life. Yeh, but then you gotta sleep with one eye open for the rest of your life. I have more faith in my son than that, Clyde. Make sure you write a living will, is all I'm sayin'.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-14 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-14 Pub. Date: 2015-08-14
Image Number: 130937
Caption: I feel like I was born about 200 years too early, Susan. 200 years ago, I'd have been a slave. My life expectancy would've had me dying at 36. I'd have had to use an outhouse. For that matter, they hadn't even invented toilet paper. We made all this progress in 200 years. Imagine how much we'll have made 200 years from now. I don't really see how you can improve on toilet paper. Whatever it is, it'll probably involve lasers.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-07-31 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-07-31 Pub. Date: 2015-07-31
Image Number: 130318
Caption: Did you read my interview with my ex-roommate who joined ISIS? Yeah. Even back in college, I never trusted that guy. What're you talking about, Susan? You used to trust the heck out of him. You had him house-sit for you You always asked him to withdraw money from the ATM for you ... Why do people always do this? Whenever someone turns out to be evil, some people rewrite history and pretend they always knew there was something wrong with the guy. I always counted the money I had him withdraw from my account.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-24 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-24 Pub. Date: 2015-06-24
Image Number: 128673
Caption: Studies show that teachers are more likely to harshly punish black students than they are white ones who do the same things. Even black teachers do it. How am I supposed to feel comfortable sending my baby boy out into the world when I know this sort of stuff happens? They done called me a "troublemaker" from day one. Didn't do me no harm. Maybe I'll home-school him til he's got his Ph.D. it was educational. I be in the principal office so much that I learned exactly where he keep his spare house keys.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-05-02 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-05-02 Pub. Date: 2015-05-02
Image Number: 126135
Caption: OK, I have to admit, that was a really good film. What was your favorite part? Avengers. My favorite part was seeing Elizabeth Olsen play the Scarlet Witch. I remember when she was the baby on "Full House." So not only did I get to feel incredibly old, I also got to be distracted by the image of "Uncle Jessie" singing to her that kept running through my head. She wasn't on "Full House." Those were her older twin sisters. Avengers. Well then they should've put "she wasn't on' Full House'" on the posters.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-04-05 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-04-05 Pub. Date: 2015-04-05
Image Number: 124640
Caption: Sometimes I think you don't really like my mother. When I told you she's coming to stay with us for a month you didn't say anything for five whole seconds. And then all you said was "ok." It would've been nice if you'd been enthusiastic and happy, and talked about all the fun things we'll do with her, and about how grateful you are she wants to spend time with us. I just don't relish the thought of having two people in our house who judge my every word. There you go with the five seconds again. You're such a jerk. Being single is underrated.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-03-22 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-03-22 Pub. Date: 2015-03-22
Image Number: 124022
Caption: Great news, Clyde. What? You know how people always blame irresponsible, absentee black fathers for everything from crimes to low self-esteem to sagging jeans? Well, that's a myth. A Pew study shows that black fathers who don't live with their kids see them more than white or latino fathers in similar circumstances. yes, but black fathers be more than twice as likely not to live in the house, bruh. So it still average out to less involvement overall when you do the math. (Sigh) ... Math giveth and math taketh away. What an "eth"? What? What?
     
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