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Candorville

Comics about houses.

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-06 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-06 Pub. Date: 2017-07-06
Image Number: 159982
Caption: Meanwhile, in Candorville … Susan … I know you've always been allergic to commitment. I know you've bailed on every serious relationship you've ever had … Have not. At four, after a week of playing house with Wilfred, you pretended he didn't even exits. At fourteen, after you and your lifelong friend "Turbo" started dating, you faked amnesia. I don't remember that. I never would've told you about my past if I'd known you were gonna throw it in my face. Come on out. I promise this is nothing commitmenty.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-19 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-19 Pub. Date: 2017-06-19
Image Number: 159388
Caption: Breaking news! The White House is urging Russia to intervene in the North Pole's civil war to secure the release of hostages held by elfin rebels. Click … Canadian homeowners are urged to check for bunny holes before mowing their laws, after a gruesome ... Click. After seven male senators in a row interrupted the witness' answers, Senator McCain scolded Sen. Kamala Harris for doing the exact same thing. Click. Gilligaaaan ... the Skipper tooooooo.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-11 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-11 Pub. Date: 2017-06-11
Image Number: 158398
Caption: Man, Lemont … how long's it been? Twenty years? Just about. You still working at Pigville Pork Burgers? Nah … I got a job as the Candorville Chronicles White House correspondent. Then I went on to found Candorville.com, the internet's seventh largest source for news and opinion. Oh. That's cool. That's cool. How do you not know this? We're Facebook friends. I post links to my articles every day. We were roommates all through college, and you don't even read my updates? Facebook's for reading you-stuff? I thought it was just for posting me-stuff. I'm sorry, man. I feel horrible. As you should ... Anyway, you still working as a roadie for Hootie and the Blowfish?
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-28 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-28 Pub. Date: 2017-05-28
Image Number: 157865
Caption: Sometimes I think you don't really like my mother. When I told you she's coming to stay with us for a month … you didn't say anything for five whole seconds. And then all you said was "ok." It would've been nice if you'd been enthusiastic and happy, and talked about all the fun things we'll do with her, and about how grateful you are she wants to spend time with us. I just don't relish the thought have having two people in our house who judge my every word. There you go with the five seconds again. You're such a jerk. Being single is underrated.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-25 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-25 Pub. Date: 2017-05-25
Image Number: 158343
Caption: Federal Agent Murph … just so I get this straight, I'm not a suspect in the potential Russian blackmailing of the president? Of course not. I'm counting on you to cover it. As a journalist. I suspect my superiors are caving to pressure from the White House. My investigation may hit a brick wall. So the press may be our only hope to at least get it all out there. And since the suspect Rudy Park is your old roomie, I figured you'd want to be the one to tail him to Moscow. Then why am I tied up in the back of your van mphmph. Figured you'd like a ride to the airport. You're welcome.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-15 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-15 Pub. Date: 2017-05-15
Image Number: 158076
Caption: This just in: A week's worth of oil has been found deep beneath Canardville, a suburb of Candorville. Oil companie … click. Photo of the Trump sons, Uday and Qusay, hunting an endangered bearicorn. The elusive half-bear, half-unicorn hybrid was once thought to be a myth, but ... Click. Putin appoints the notorious oligarch Kovarstvo Prestupnik to head up the newly created "Ministry of Blackmailing White House Stooges." Click. Gilligaaaaan, the Skipper tooooo ... the millionaaaaire ... and his wiiiiiiiiife ...
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-14 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-14 Pub. Date: 2017-05-14
Image Number: 157342
Caption: They got to him. I don't know how, but they got to him. Dr. Noodle. I should've seen it coming, though. After all, a guy who gets all butt-hurt about questions is the White House Spokesman in charge of answering questions. A guy who opposes paid leave and equal pay is in charge of the White House's responses to women's issues. A guy who doesn't believe in climate change is in charge of the EPA. A reputed bigot is in charge of enforcing civil rights. Trump even tried to put a guy whose company violated wage, hour and child labor laws in charge of the Department of Labor. I still don't think we know what Luke Skywalker meant by "it's time for the Jedi to end." I don't like Star Wars now that I know it's set in the Trump White House.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-11 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-11 Pub. Date: 2017-05-11
Image Number: 157810
Caption: How was I supposed to know it was innocent? You asked me to "hold something" for you. Never in the history of man has that turned out well for the person who's said "ok." Yeah, well Big Oatmeal an' the rest of the boys found it in my closet. All I could think of to save my rep was to say "I sell them things for $5 at the playground." I'm still not helping you break into "Big Oatmeal's" house to steal back you old Teddy Ruxpin. You ain't no real friend.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-26 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-26 Pub. Date: 2017-04-26
Image Number: 157286
Caption: Tell me again why you ain't gone to the doctor 'bout your heart, Big L? I lost my health insurance. I've saved all my life for a down payment on a house, so I'll have something to leave to my son. If I go to the hospital, I'll probably lose it all and he'll inherit nothing. But I have life insurance, so if I die, he'll inherit my savings and $2 million. This country be messed up, bruh. I've recorded 18 years' worth of advice and dad-jokes for him.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-23 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-23 Pub. Date: 2017-04-23
Image Number: 156529
Caption: Hello, you've reached Sisyphus Mortgage. This is Ryan. How may I hinder you? I just got an ad saying you specialize in loans for self-employed people. I'm self-employed. I've taken all the tax deductions the law allows, so my income appears to be much smaller than it actually is. Is there any type of loan I'd qualify for? Of course. If you've got 24 months of bank statements that show you can easily afford the monthly payments, you may qualify for a "bank statement loan." I could get you bank statements. Great! ... Oh, one more thing, we also need to see receipts proving that your expenses match your bank accounts. You do? ... O ... K ... I'll see if I can dig those up. Great! ... Oh, one more thing, we'll also need to see your business license. Ryan, how many "one more things" are there? Before I can answer that, I just need one more thing ...
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-03 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-03 Pub. Date: 2017-04-03
Image Number: 156465
Caption: So what if you can't get a mortgage to buy a house? If you really want to move to Canada, why not just rent? Because I've live in the same tiny $600 rent-controlled apartment my whole adult life, I've saved every month for decades, and I haven't bought a new computer since 2003. I've done all this so that one day I could afford to buy a house and have something to leave my son. Spending fifty billion dollars a month on rent might make that a little hard to do. You're exaggerating ... a little.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-21 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-21 Pub. Date: 2017-02-21
Image Number: 154802
Caption: You remember Omarosa from "The Apprentice"? Well, she works in the Trump White House now. According to a Washington Post reporter, another reporter said Omarosa tried to bully her by telling her she was one of several journalists the White House was keeping "dossiers" on. Wow. And you're a journalist. I can see why you're upset, Lemont. I can totally see. it. what do I have to do to get them to blackmail me? I'm always getting left out. I need to get my eyes checked.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-20 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-20 Pub. Date: 2017-02-20
Image Number: 154801
Caption: Well, you look down, Lemont. What's wrong? What could possibly be wrong? Today, the White House revoked my press credentials for asking one too many questions about their secret ties to Russia … and the Democratic party revoked my press credentials for asking one too many times why they're still using the same loser strategists ... and my baby boy revoked my dad credentials for turning off "Octonauts" one too many times. We all have bad days.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-24 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-24 Pub. Date: 2017-01-24
Image Number: 153702
Caption: 1982. What do you want to be when you grow up, Lemont? I want to be a factory worker. Then I could wear overalls and join a union and live in a big house in a small town and win the heart of a pretty girl. Papa says I'm a pretty girl. Yeah, but your dad's not rich and snobby and he'd probably approve of me. Life doesn't have to be like the movies. I just think it'd be cool to be the "boy from the wrong side of the tracks" to someone.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-27 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-27 Pub. Date: 2016-12-27
Image Number: 152625
Caption: No, momma, I don't think you should get a reverse mortgage. Why? Well, you know Steve Mnuchin, the guy Donald Trump appointed Treasury Secretary? The bank he ran used to convince old people to get reverse mortgages, then they foreclosed on a lot of those houses for the tiniest of reasons. They foreclosed on one home for an unpaid bill of 27 cents. Yes, I know Magnum P.I. said it's not a scam to steal your house. But if they have to SAY that ... (Sigh) ... Yes, momma, I know how you love Magnum P.I.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-26 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-26 Pub. Date: 2016-12-26
Image Number: 152624
Caption: Hi momma. I'm back from Canada. It was beautiful there. Can I come visit you? I just want to see the old house. My old room. I don't know why. What do you mean "that'll be $125 a night"? I don't care what "the going rate" is on AirBnB. I'm your son … What do you mean try back in the off-season.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-25 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-25 Pub. Date: 2016-12-25
Image Number: 151999
Caption: You know what really, really bugs me? People who get all upset just because I always let my dog off his leash where I'm not supposed to. Last week, Killer and I were taking our usual stroll in the park. I let the little fella off his leash just so he could get some real exercise. He deserves it as much as anyone. When he got maybe 1,000 feet from me, he came across some kid's birthday party. Killer's a curious little fella, so naturally he darted into the Bouncy House. Next thing you know, there was all this screaming, just 'cause Killer started licking the birthday boy's face and chewing on his hair. All that screaming hurt poor Killer's feelings, so naturally he started growling. Then I told them Killer was friendly, so that should've been that, right? Can you believe they demanded I buy the kid new pants? It's not my fault they never potty trained him. Forget the dogs, it's the owners who should have to get licensed.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-02 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-02 Pub. Date: 2016-07-02
Image Number: 145233
Caption: I own several properties, bruh. I got a booth in a recording studio I won in a game of dominoes, I got my apartment I won in a game of dice I got 42 houses I bought in Flint, MI, for $28 Whachoo think America would say 'bout me if I ran for president, held events at my own properties, an' then used people' campaign donations to pay myself $1 million in rent? They'd just say the same thing they say about Trump, that's it's perfectly legal. Thelma Jr. Bruh, have you met America?
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-09 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-09 Pub. Date: 2016-04-09
Image Number: 141506
Caption: I told you we should've found a cardboard box before the housing market picked back up. Need $ 4 shelter. (This cartoon was originally published on 2014-04-19).
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-27 house 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-27 Pub. Date: 2016-03-27
Image Number: 140573
Caption: I got a cousin in Flint, Michigan, bruh. He say I could buy a house for $2. You wanna go in on this with me? Between us, we could buy like 500 houses. Yeah, there are lots of reasons for that, Clyde. For instance haven't you been watching the news? A whole generation of children in Flint has been poisoned by lead in the water, and it may have caused a fatal disease outbreak. Yeh, but that only affect people that use water, bruh. I've been meaning to say, I think you drink WAY too much Pepsi. For a $2 house, I'll bathe in it, too.
     
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