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Candorville

Comics about horrible .

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Result page:    2  3  Next  (56 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-09-06 horrible 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-09-06 Pub. Date: 2019-09-06
Image Number: 179298
Caption: I had a horrible day, bruh. 'Member how you gave a speech at a high school the other day? 'Member how you threw up on them kids? I been tryna sell bootleg DVDs of it the past couple of days. Ain't nobody buyin'. E'ry last one of them kids had recorded it an' already posted it to Instagram ... for free! I'm sorry you had such a bad day. Internet be lettin' amateurs run us professionals out of business.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-25 horrible 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-25 Pub. Date: 2019-08-25
Image Number: 179092
Caption: How was your day, Lemont? Horrible. I gave a speech to a high school assembly about the importance of journalism. Halfway through, I realized almost nobody was paying attention. They were all staring at their laps. Turns out most of them were on their phones. Square drones, yeah ... weird/ Seriously? Were you on your phone just now? Of course not. I don't know what you mean by Were you on your phone just now. How about a web search for it?
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-24 horrible 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-24 Pub. Date: 2019-03-24
Image Number: 176623
Caption: I liked your latest article, The Living Chain of History. Thanks. When I was a kid, I met the last person who ever interviewed a slave. That slave's grandfather was Thomas Jefferson's slave. That means I spoke with someone who spoke with someone who spoke with someone who spoke with Thomas Jefferson. I'm only three spokes removed from a conversation with one of America's Founding Fathers. That's why you wrote No wonder we do all this horrible !@#$? Our society couldn't be more than $600 spokes removed from cavemen.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-14 horrible 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-14 Pub. Date: 2019-03-14
Image Number: 176727
Caption: Well, you look down, Lemont. What's wrong? What could possibly be wrong? Today, the White House revoked my press credentials for asking one too many questions about Jared's security clearance … and the Democratic party revoked my press credentials for asking one too many questions about the whole Israel issue ... and Dizzyland revoked my season pass because of that expose I wrote about their horrible hourly pay. I still can't believe so many of their Ricky Mouses and Ronald Ducks are homeless.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-03 horrible 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-03 Pub. Date: 2019-03-03
Image Number: 176359
Caption: I'll take you back on one condition: No more cheating. Ok. Also, you'd better not even look at another woman. Ok. and you have to give me all your passwords so I can monitor all your social media accounts. Ok. And you have to go to counseling with me and admit how horrible a person you are. And you have to come home straight after work. And you have to get my permission to go anywhere else. And you can't talk to any females other than me or your mother. And you have to let me handle all your finances. And you have to keep quiet when my friends and family treat you like the trash you are for the rest of your life. I thought you said one condition. You life being over is one condition. Not to self: Never, ever, ever say take me back.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-02-10 horrible 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-02-10 Pub. Date: 2019-02-10
Image Number: 175946
Caption: Dear Journalist, I read your article about how a bunch of studies show it's certain man is causing climate change, and that that's horrible. And just the next day, I read your article about all the ways we can terraform Mars. YOU'RE SUCH A HYPOCRITE. If man-made climate change it ok on Mars, why isn't it ok here on Earth? Huh? don't even bother replying, I will not read it. Dear Reader, I know you're reading this. Wrong. Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-01 horrible 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-01 Pub. Date: 2018-11-01
Image Number: 174718
Caption: I'll tell you one thing, Susan, this is not the country I thought it was. When we were kids, I thought all the bad, unfair, horrible things were all in the past. I thought Martin Luther King, Jr., the Beatles, Muhammad Ali and Mr. Rogers came along and made it all better. I want my son to have the same tragically wrong illusions. It makes for a happy childhood. I still don't think you should cryogenically freeze him and they him out when all the crazy stops. I'm just researching whether it's possible. I haven't decided.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-13 horrible 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-13 Pub. Date: 2018-06-13
Image Number: 172214
Caption: Armstrong told me to get all our regulars to show up. What for, you miserable dork? Tap tap tap tap tap. I'm not supposed to tell people what a horrible calamity's about to strike. He said not to panic anyone if I care about them … Well played, cretin. I just texted what I told you to the guy who audited me.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-03-24 horrible 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-03-24 Pub. Date: 2018-03-24
Image Number: 169631
Caption: So how was your week, Susan? So-so. I brought in a huge client. And then we lost a different one. I met a great guy. And the next morning I met his girlfriend. I found a perfect parking spot. And then I got a parking ticket. I finally had time to read a novel I'd been dying to read. But it turned out to be horrible. Forget I asked. Someone finally asked me how my week went, but ...
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-04 horrible 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-04 Pub. Date: 2017-12-04
Image Number: 165703
Caption: Trump's FCC is about to kill "net neutrality." That means internet service providers can slow down or even block sites they don't want customers to see. Take Concast Cable, for instance. They could put Netflix, Hulu and Amazon on a separate "premium tier." They could slow sites like mind down so much no one will bother reading them. I still don't understand why you posted an article about how great Concast's logo is. It's to make up for that time I wrote a 48-part expose of their horrible business practices. Dios mio.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-11 horrible 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-11 Pub. Date: 2017-10-11
Image Number: 163630
Caption: Bruh, you gotta stop writing about "Star Track Discovery." Don't nobody like it. Get over it. "Trek." And it's a great show! It's just a vocal minority online that keep coming up with ridiculous reasons to hate it. They decided long before they ever saw it was gonna be horrible, and now they just don't want to be wrong. It's textbook case of confirmation bias! I knew you wasn't gonna make no sense, an' I was right.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-19 horrible 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-19 Pub. Date: 2017-09-19
Image Number: 162849
Caption: When my little boy got home from day care and found out I'd sold the microwave, he started sobbing. Dr. Noodle. He asked who bought it. I said "a neighbor." He whimpered and blubbered "But I don't want the neighbor to have it! I want us to have it!" M.A ... I tried to make him feel better by telling him it's best not to have one anyway, because all microwaves leak radiation and that can cause cancer ... and that's when your son accused you of trying to murder your neighbor? I never realized how horrible a person I was until my son started asking questions.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-07 horrible 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-07 Pub. Date: 2017-08-07
Image Number: 161291
Caption: Seven Years Ago. Can you believe they're ramming Obamacare through with no votes from Republicans and only a year of hearings and stuff? Horrible leadership!!! Two Weeks Ago. Can you believe they're ramming Trumpcare through with no votes from Democrats and no hearings or anything? Amazing leadership!!! Color-blinded. What? MAGA.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-18 horrible 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-18 Pub. Date: 2017-07-18
Image Number: 160502
Caption: I'm so glad I caught you before you left town, Vancouver. So am I, Candorville. But why'd you want to meet here? Why not in the city? I wanted to see where you live. I wanted to meet your little boy. I wanted to show you this video a friend of mine sent me of you cheating on me with some muscle-bound oaf, and I didn't want the horrible memory of me dumping you to taint my city. Also, I wanted a caramel-kiwi mocha, and the only cafe that makes it is out here. Wait ... Back up?
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-16 horrible 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-16 Pub. Date: 2017-07-16
Image Number: 159772
Caption: Cool shirt. You gonna watch the new Star Trek tv show? No way! It's a horrible show and it's going to fail! What? Why? All the angriest people on the internet agree with me. It looks to much like J.J. Abrams' J.J. - Trek nonsense … It's a scam to distract from CBS suing fan film creators ... O ... K ... it looks too advanced to be a prequel, the bridge is on the bottom of the saucer and not the top, the Klingons look stupid ... O ... K ... I guess I can ... There are too many minorities on it ... it's on CBS All Access instead of on broadcast or Netflix ... Wait ... What?! I shouldn't have to pay $6 month and watch it where they want me to watch it. They should give it to me how I want it! Didn't you just get all racist for a second? It should be free. It shouldn't force "diversity" down my throat. I should be able to see it on the channel I want to see it on. There! Right there! You just did it again!
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-11 horrible 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-11 Pub. Date: 2017-06-11
Image Number: 158398
Caption: Man, Lemont … how long's it been? Twenty years? Just about. You still working at Pigville Pork Burgers? Nah … I got a job as the Candorville Chronicles White House correspondent. Then I went on to found Candorville.com, the internet's seventh largest source for news and opinion. Oh. That's cool. That's cool. How do you not know this? We're Facebook friends. I post links to my articles every day. We were roommates all through college, and you don't even read my updates? Facebook's for reading you-stuff? I thought it was just for posting me-stuff. I'm sorry, man. I feel horrible. As you should ... Anyway, you still working as a roadie for Hootie and the Blowfish?
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-19 horrible 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-19 Pub. Date: 2017-02-19
Image Number: 154023
Caption: What brings you back to therapy? I have a tough time figuring out whom to trust. I read on Facebook that Hillary Clinton was part of a secret group that baked little kittens into pies. And I believed it. But then I read on my Twitter that Facebook was full of fake news, so I believed that and stopped believing the kitten pie story. Then someone at my wife's work sent me an anonymous email telling me she was cheating on me, and I believed it. But then she told me not to worry because the guys she takes weekly business trips with is gay ... and I believed it. I think I have some horrible disorder where I believe whatever the last person told me. I don't think so. Me neither.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-12 horrible 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-12 Pub. Date: 2017-02-12
Image Number: 153753
Caption: I'll take you back on one condition: No more cheating. Ok. Also, you'd better not even look at another woman. Ok. And you have to give me all your passwords so I can monitor all your social media accounts. Ok. And you have to go to counseling with me and admit how horrible a person you are. And you have to come home straight after work. And you have to get my permission to go anywhere else. And you can't talk to any females other than me or your mother. And you have to let me handle all your finances. And you have to keep quiet when my friends and family treat you like the trash you are for the rest of your life. I thought you said one condition. "Your life being over" IS one condition. Note to self: Never, ever, ever say "take me back."
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-19 horrible 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-19 Pub. Date: 2016-12-19
Image Number: 152369
Caption: So how'd Canada go, Lemont? How'd it go when you and "Vancouver" saw each other for the first time in a year? It went horribly. When she opened the door, it was fireworks all over again. The evening was pure magic. The next few days were even better. That does sound horrible. It was as if the great author in the sky were setting me up for a soul-crushing plot twist.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-27 horrible 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-27 Pub. Date: 2016-11-27
Image Number: 150904
Caption: I want you back. I'm nothing without you. I'm miserable, baby. I can't work. I can't sleep. I've been binge eating. I've been so depressed, I haven't brushed my teeth in months. I've put on eighty pounds. I got three cavities. I've developed sleep apnea. My foot tingles all the time, so I may have caught the diabetes. My life is horrible, just horrible! Yes. Yes, that is my best pitch. That's how horrible my life has become without you!
     
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