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Candorville

Comics about homes and homing.

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81. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-05-11 home 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-05-11 Pub. Date: 2015-05-11
Image Number: 126616
Caption: Two Weeks Ago: America is celebrating a mother who was caught on video hitting her son in order to keep him from joining the Baltimore riot. Why is that, Chuck? Well, Chad, it's a well-known fact that black teens need to be beaten to make any lesson sink in. If she'd just taken him by the hand and marched him home, and lectured him privately, it wouldn't have registered in its brain. Um ... I mean, in his brain. Plus the rest of us wouldn't have gotten to enjoy it.
     
82. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-04-06 home 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-04-06 Pub. Date: 2015-04-06
Image Number: 125198
Caption: I can't stand ISIS, Big L. They ruined everything. "ISIS" used to be the best woman name there was. 'Member that show "The Secrets of Isis" from the seventies? A hot archeologists find a amulet … that let her turn into a even hotter Egyptian superhero. I ain't NEVER seen a woman that fine since, Big L. Clyde ... I changed my mind. Let's not talk politics. I'ma Youtube the mess outta that when I get home.
     
83. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-04-04 home 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-04-04 Pub. Date: 2015-04-04
Image Number: 124962
Caption: I just watched "Rescue from Gilligan's Island" on Youtube. After all those years, they finally made it home and were welcomed as heroes. Then they went their own separate ways and tried to resume their lives. Only they realized their journey had changed them so much they no longer fit into their old lives, so they got back together and sailed off into the unknown. It's been 14 years. You really need to get over it. Even Gilligan's Island had a better ending that Star Trek: Voyager.
     
84. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-02-06 home 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-02-06 Pub. Date: 2015-02-06
Image Number: 122421
Caption: Lemont? Where've you been all day? I was waiting for you at lunch and you never showed up. I couldn't. After I dropped Lionel off at day care, everything went wrong. Someone had snatched my wallet, so I had to walk 20 blocks to get home. But my keys were missing, so I tried to climb in the fire escape. That's when I got arrested. Didn't they give you one phone call? I used it to call a lawyer. Forgive me for being so selfish. I waited a whole hour, Lemont.
     
85. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-12-17 home 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-12-17 Pub. Date: 2014-12-17
Image Number: 120251
Caption: Is that roll of sandpaper next to your toilet always there, or do you just break it out for guests? Another stereotype bites the dust. Thug 4 Life. Some of us don't need cotton-puff ultra-soft 6-ply pansy-wipes, Big L. There's literally a role of sandpaper next to your toilet. Look there's just some things you don't want people doing in your house. (This cartoon was originally published on 2012-04-27)
     
86. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-12-02 home 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-12-02 Pub. Date: 2014-12-02
Image Number: 119642
Caption: What do you mean you have to stay at my place for two weeks? I'm a unarmed black man. Seem like police, vigilantes an' bruthas be shootin' unarmed black men once every couple weeks. I just gotta wait till the next one happen, then I'll have another two-week window to walk home. It's like it's open season on unarmed black men ... ... an' erebody think they Elmer Fudd. Look on the bright side: plenty of other people get shot too. ... That didn't come out right.
     
87. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-12-01 home 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-12-01 Pub. Date: 2014-12-01
Image Number: 119641
Caption: Thanks for walking me home, to protect me from all the thugs. Anytime, girl. Now it's your turn to walk ME home. What do you mean? To protect me from all the cops. Dios mio. I ain't tryin' to be the next brutha on the news.
     
88. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-11-22 home 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-11-22 Pub. Date: 2014-11-22
Image Number: 118797
Caption: Hello, wrong number, you've reached the home of Lemont Brown. Yes, I am absolutely sure I'm not the person you're trying to call. Feel free to call back a third time just in case I've realized I actually AM the person I'm not. Beep.
     
89. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-09-16 home 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-09-16 Pub. Date: 2014-09-16
Image Number: 116479
Caption: Hello, I'm you, from the future. I've come back in time to ask you not to buy that Starbucks coffee tomorrow. If you just make your coffee at home from now on, I'll have tens of thousands of dollars more to retire with. Also, when a police officer tells you to leave the park bench and demands to see your ID, do NOT tell him "I know my rights." I don't care how many white people you saw doing that on YouTube, YOU'RE NOT THEM. Zzzzz.
     
90. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-09-11 home 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-09-11 Pub. Date: 2014-09-11
Image Number: 116186
Caption: I've never been happier about the fact that I don’t own my own home. Home Depot may have just been targeted by credit-card hackers. If I were a home owner, I'd shop at Home Depot all the time. My credit card info would've been stolen, and identity thieves would have ruined my life. I've got nothing to worry about unless they start hacking TRANSIENTS DEPOT. Whatever makes you feel better, dude.
     
91. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-08-25 home 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-08-25 Pub. Date: 2014-08-25
Image Number: 115528
Caption: I had the strangest dream last night, Susan. I dreamt I was coming home on a subway train. From where? I don’t remember. Someplace incredible, is all I know. Anyway, just as the train. "Incredible" good or "incredible" bad? It was a place where a person could tell a story without being interrupted. Sorry.
     
92. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-08-16 home 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-08-16 Pub. Date: 2014-08-16
Image Number: 114930
Caption: Hello, creditor, you've reached the home of Lemont Brown. Paying 30% interest on the bus ticket you helped me buy 20 years ago is more important to me than survival. So I can't come to the phone right now, because I'm busy bundling all my cash to send to you instead of using it to feed my child, pay my rent and keep my lights on. Please leave a message and I'll get back to you when I'm done making money appear out of thin air. BEEP.
     
93. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-08-14 home 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-08-14 Pub. Date: 2014-08-14
Image Number: 114928
Caption: You notice ain't no one talkin' 'bout them kidnapped girls from Africa no more? That's only 'cause there've been no new developments in their story, Clyde. Every day they still ain't home a new development, bruh. Clyde … either I'm rubbing off on you, or you're getting more insightful all on your own. Given the choice between intimacy an' personal growth ... I choose tacos.
     
94. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-08-11 home 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-08-11 Pub. Date: 2014-08-11
Image Number: 114925
Caption: I had a date last night, but all I could think of was getting back home to tuck in my boy. What's wrong with me, Susan? My mom was a single parent, and I always wished I had my dad, too. Shouldn’t I be trying to find a new mom for my son? What are YOU doing for the next 18 years or so? WASHING MY HAIR!!!
     
95. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-08-03 home 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-08-03 Pub. Date: 2014-08-03
Image Number: 113943
Caption: I'm glad to be home, Murph. Aren't you glad to be home? Quiet, Jules. I'm just saying, this is much better than the trash can in the German chancellor's bathroom. I said quiet! You talk too much, Jules. That's the problem. In my day, we knew how to be covert. We were all that stood between the Republic and its enemies. We were a ghost. We were neither confirmed nor denied. We were everywhere and nowhere, Jules. Everywhere ... and nowhere. Can you say that in 140 characters, so I can quote you? That'd make a good tweet. I've already got like 723,000 followers. The Republic is doomed.
     
96. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-07-20 home 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-07-20 Pub. Date: 2014-07-20
Image Number: 113319
Caption: It's like he's not even the same man I married. Dr. Noodle. How so? He used to mow the lawn every week. Sometimes every day. Sometimes three or four times a day. He used to come home from work, go straight into the shed, whip out that lawn mower and ride around on the grass for hours and hours and hours. It was a new lawn mower. I was excited about it. But now it doesn't run as well as it used to. Have you thought of getting pills. They make pills to keep Kentucky Bluegrass from getting overgrown? What? What? If it's so important to you, go get someone else to mow it.
     
97. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-06-08 home 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-06-08 Pub. Date: 2014-06-08
Image Number: 111681
Caption: Ring! Ring! Ring! You're not gonna answer it? Why would I do that? Ring ring ring ring ring ring. Ring! Ring! Ring! My friends text me. My creditors email me. If anyone calls me at home, odds are it's a telemarketer or a politician. Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring! So you don't trust anyone who actually wants to talk to you? Right. That's just shady. Click!
     
98. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-05-29 home 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-05-29 Pub. Date: 2014-05-29
Image Number: 111792
Caption: Thanks for walking me home, Clyde. No problem. The streets a very different place for women than they is for men. Least I could do is walk you home and' accept the $2 walk-home fee you agreed to. I thought you were joking. Psht! Write that on your electric bill an' see what they say.
     
99. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-05-17 home 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-05-17 Pub. Date: 2014-05-17
Image Number: 111234
Caption: I want to buy a house, Susan. I feel like if I don’t own a house, I'm a failure. Like I'm not really part of society. Like I'm just a guest. I feel like I'm a child and the only way I'll ever truly be an adult is to own a house. Plus if I had my own house, I could make the whole floor a trampoline. Dios Mio.
     
100. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-05-14 home 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-05-14 Pub. Date: 2014-05-14
Image Number: 111231
Caption: Dr. Dre bought a $50 million mansion. Who does that? If you have $50 million lying around, you have options. You can make people's lives better. You can create jobs. … Or you can blow it on a house. Who in his right mind would choose to blow it on a house? You jus' jealous you don't have $50 million to throw down a hole.
     
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