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Rudy Park

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-07-04 history 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-07-04 Pub. Date: 2019-07-04
Image Number: 178360
Caption: If you want to go on a date, I'll need some basic information. Cholesterol level, history of family heart disease, cancer and diabetes … I will not be in a position of falling for you only to find out you're a lemon! Now give us a look at your gums. I'd rather not.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-03-24 history 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-03-24 Pub. Date: 2019-03-24
Image Number: 176656
Caption: What do you think monkey would say if he could talk? That's easy. He's discuss how ratty this couch is. It has millions of infectious microbes that will give us a cold, flu or worse. He'd talk about November - An historic election at a precarious time in our nation's history. Who knows. Indeed. Want to get dinner? Perhaps a vegan feast? Something organic without carcinogens. At least we can agree on that. Don't breathe on me.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-24 history 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-24 Pub. Date: 2018-05-24
Image Number: 171809
Caption: Boss … I just got a memo saying you want me to work longer shifts. But I already work 18 hours a day. I need to sleep. Traitor. Spain is considering doing away with the siesta. No more mid-afternoon naps or three-hour lunch breaks. Spain is the most valuable ally we've ever had in the history of our country. We've got to stand by them by eliminating our own unnecessary frivolities. Very. Bad. Man. Also, Spain's minimum wage is about $5.87. e must stand with Spain.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-06 history 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-06 Pub. Date: 2018-03-06
Image Number: 169196
Caption: I've been reading a lot of ancient history lately. That's good, little buddy. The distant past is pretty fascinating. You're preaching to the choir. Before every date, I like to revisit the pax romana. The point in time when all the squabbling ceased and all of Europe got down to some good lovin'. What's your favorite time in ancient history? March 28th, 2015. that's when I retweeted a great tweet I'd written back on December 5th, 2014.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-02 history 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-02 Pub. Date: 2018-03-02
Image Number: 168937
Caption: I'm trying to pinpoint the exact moment in history when me were at their most manly. There are hundreds of variables to consider. My initial calculations showed it was the "Greatest Generation" circa 1945 in all the Allied countries. But then I realized I'd forgotten about the high-waisted pants. When I factored that in, they fell a few decimal points behind Genghis Khan's Mongol horde. But then I realized I'd forgotten to carry the "1." Never forget to carry the "1."
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-02-24 history 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-02-24 Pub. Date: 2018-02-24
Image Number: 168671
Caption: Do you believe the world is all an illusion? I know it is. I know it can be bent by our collective will. When I was born, there were horses and buggies in the streets. But as soon as we all believed we could do it, we went to the moon. Oh, I agree. That's why I'm trying to get the whole internet to retweet it's possible to upload our minds into immortal robot bodies. If the entire hive mind of earth tweets that at the same time, it's got to come true. I hope not. I'd hate for you to end up being the most important person in history.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-02-18 history 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-02-18 Pub. Date: 2018-02-18
Image Number: 168052
Caption: When I was a youth, I dreamt of becoming a gangsta rapper who'd someday go legit and found a major record label and sell it for billions to Apple. Dr. Noodle. I never did it, though. I didn't know that career path was really possible. But then Dr. Dre cam along and he did it. That's an awfully specific dream you had. And then there was my Russian dream. I always dreamt of striking out in real estate, then catching the eye of Russian mobsters and foreign banks who'd bail me out if I agreed to launder tons of loot for them ... and then maybe I'd run for high office so I could repay the bank by giving so I could repay the bank by giving it a waiver exempting it from paying some huge fine, and maybe I'd be able to use my office to repay the mafia somehow too. Y'know ... sometimes when we're jealous, we rewrite history and actually believe I thought of that first. Oh, no, I've been laundering money for year -- wait this whole thing is confidential right?
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-21 history 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-21 Pub. Date: 2018-01-21
Image Number: 166993
Caption: Tonight on The Price is Right! Three people compete … to the death. Animal Planet brings you the gruesome mating dance of the preying … CNBC stock analysts, Jane Ponziskeem and Chuck Boughtman. You two both see, to agree the President's tax … Calamity was the most apocalyptic thing that ever happened in the history of the inner solar system. The devastating impact blew much of the earth's crust into orbit. After millions of years, it all coalesced to form ... Disney. The company now owns much of our popular culture. Aside from its catalogue of Disney films, the behemoth now owns the rights to Star Wars, the rights to X-Men, the rights to the Fantastic Four, and the rights to - you're behind. But you can catch up easily! You can get your revenge, with Montezuma energy drink! Side effects may include projectile hurling, incontinence, colorectal warming, and -- Whales! Admiral, there be whales here! Well done, Mister Scott. How soon can we be ready for warp speed?
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-20 history 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-20 Pub. Date: 2018-01-20
Image Number: 167382
Caption: Sadie, I keep hearing all this talk about how the president might be literally insane. It's making me feel anxious. Sometimes I wonder if this is how the British felt when King George III went crazy and lost America. Or is it more like how the Romans felt when Caligula made his horse a senator? That reminds me: Did you get to ride Caligula's horse, or were you too old for that? Before I answer that, let me show you what the Romans did to losers in the old days ...
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-08 history 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-08 Pub. Date: 2017-12-08
Image Number: 165719
Caption: Hi, this is one of 847 Democrats who'll be running for president in 2020. There's never been an easier race to win in the whole of history of races, but I'm hoping you'll vote for me over all the other opportunists … By that I don't mean to say that I'm an opportunist who's only running because it's a sure thing, I just mean all the others are. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You know, you have some time. Maybe work on your message a little bit. I didn't sit out 2016 'cause I was afraid of Hillary ... but the others did.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-24 history 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-24 Pub. Date: 2017-11-24
Image Number: 165180
Caption: Minion, I'm ordering you not to talk about alternate histories with the customers. No more "what if feudalism never happened" nonsense. If people start thinking things could've been different, they'll soon start thinking things could've been better. Which could lead to them thinking things can still get better. This "gap between rich and poor" thing is working out in my favor. I don't want your talk of alternate pasts to accidentally create any alternate futures. Very bad man.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-11 history 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-11 Pub. Date: 2017-11-11
Image Number: 164678
Caption: How many people in history do you think have died fighting over lines someone else drew on a map? Occupiers have often forced people who are polar opposites to live in one artificial "country." Iraq … Ethiopia … Yugoslavia … the United States … but then if we only lived in countries made up of people who agree with us, earth would have 7 billion countries. I disagree.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-18 history 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-18 Pub. Date: 2017-10-18
Image Number: 163917
Caption: I can watch tv anywhere I bet that blows your mind. Why's that, loser? Tap tap tap tap. Because in your day, a televisions was a 5-ton steam-powered machine. You had to crank a handle to make it run … and "running" meant a curtain would open and two old-timey people in the box would act out a silent tv show. Wait ... are you trying to insult me ... or are you getting your history from Youtube again? "Buck-Naked Historian" has 5 million subscribers, so it must be accurate.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-13 history 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-13 Pub. Date: 2017-10-13
Image Number: 163644
Caption: Go to the History Channel. I will not comply. My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you are just pretending to be interested in education programming. There is a 98% probability you will lose interest in less than one minute and change the channel. There is a 2% chance you will fall asleep before then and forget to turn me off. You don't know me! Your webcam tells me your bookcase holds 147 books you have never opened.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-07 history 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-07 Pub. Date: 2017-10-07
Image Number: 163387
Caption: The Ask Sadie Show. Actual answers to actual reader questions. Dear Sadie, When you were a teenager, did your parents tell you you were too young to date? How did you deal with that? - Frustrated with Dad. Never! In my day, there were no "teen-agers." You were either big enough to run the machinery, or small enough to be used as a pipe-cleaner in the machinery.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-03 history 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-03 Pub. Date: 2017-10-03
Image Number: 163383
Caption: Why do they call it the "chickenpox," Sadie? Funny you should ask, cretin. The year was 1767. Great-great-great-great-grandmother Sadie discovered that smallpox and the "varicella-zoset virus" were not related after all. But as usual, her nemesis, Dr. Heberden, pilfered her research and claimed credit. That's when old Sadie shoved him head-first into his Christmas chicken's rear-end, and the rest was history. The history books leave everything out. Guess where cranberry sauce came from?!
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-09-25 history 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-09-25 Pub. Date: 2017-09-25
Image Number: 163103
Caption: On today's Ask Sadie Show, I, Sadie Cohen, will discuss one topic: Hillary Clinton's book, "What Happened." It reminds me of the very first political memoir I ever read. The year was 1921. Warren G. Harding had just pantsed the Democrat James M. Cox. After emerging form the woods, loser Cox was ready to reflect. He traveled by donkey from town to town to hawk his book: "That Which Occurred." When she's gone, all these little details will be lost to history. This is almost as good as her show about Grover Cleveland's third nipple.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-09-01 history 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-09-01 Pub. Date: 2017-09-01
Image Number: 162103
Caption: Why do you keep asking people if they've ever sued anyone for libel? Well, someone libeled me. I'm a Starfleet captain in "Star Trek Online." Someone playing a Ferengi merchant had that Ferengi call my captain "incompetent." right in front of my whole crew. My whole crew quit. My captain went into a downward shame-spiral. He started drinking, stopped shaving, and now he's captaining a garbage scow out of Sherman's planet. Suing a fake person's real person for defaming a real person's fake person. You just might make legal history. My captain hired a lawyer, but I'm not sure the lawyer is being played by a lawyer.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-07-24 history 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-07-24 Pub. Date: 2017-07-24
Image Number: 160763
Caption: All you young people keep whining about the country being "divided." You don't know what "divided" is. Grandmother Cohen was a general in the Union army. Her sister was a Confederate general. They didn't let women fight in the Civil War. Of course not. But as luck would have it, Great Grandmother Cohen was the best fake-beard-maker in the land. Nobody ever dared ask "Stonewall Jackson" why "he" often wore his hair in a bun. The history books always leave out the best parts.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-07-16 history 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-07-16 Pub. Date: 2017-07-16
Image Number: 159829
Caption: Remember how you advised me to get a dangerous hobby to build up my self-esteem and impress people? Well, all the dangerous hobbies were already taken. You wrestle alligators … Armstrong skis down a pile of his money … Without a helmet. Even that ancient hag Sadie has a dangerous hobby. Every year, in violation of both common sense and local fire safety ordinances, the old lady lights all the candles on her birthday cake. I heard that!!! Fun fact: The 20th century was one of the most brutal in history. I witnessed most of it. And I took notes!! I've taken up "Sadie-taunting." You'd be better off with the alligators.
     
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