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Candorville

Comics about guides and guiding.

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Result page:    2  Next  (22 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-28 guide 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-28 Pub. Date: 2019-08-28
Image Number: 179193
Caption: Joe Biden keeps doing strange things … like saying he worked with segregationists to get things done. What was he thinking? It's as if he's trying to sabotage his own campaign. He must've never read my book: The Alpha Male's Guide to Not Lousing everything Up. Is that your book that just says go home on every page?
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-22 guide 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-22 Pub. Date: 2018-08-22
Image Number: 173656
Caption: A voice from somewhere deep in the air duct system told me to be still, and to listen for the cries of a child, for it would lead me to a refugee whose story must be told. So I did. I stilled my mind … and it led me to wonder if I'd paid the gas bill, if I was missing an Amazon delivery, and if that cretin Gary226 had admitted defeat yet in our Facebook argument. Dios mio. Then I stilled my mind again ...
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-14 guide 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-14 Pub. Date: 2018-07-14
Image Number: 172718
Caption: At the refugee jail. Look on the bright side, little buddy. Now's your chance to get prison-ripped. What? I'm writing a new book in the "Randy's Manuals" series. It's called "The Alpha Male's Guide to Jail." Chapter six is all aobut using the two hours a day of yard-time to develop titanium buns. I'm not sure this'll be a best-seller. You kidding? We jail more people that any country in the entire world.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-19 guide 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-19 Pub. Date: 2017-12-19
Image Number: 166284
Caption: I went out with this book agent last week and told him some stories about work. Then he tried to get me to write a novel based on it. Awesome! I've written three, you know. If you need any advice, just come to me. I could walk you through it. Share my expertise. Writing a novel is a long, hard process. Takes about six months to a year. I'll guide you through it, 'cause you're my best friends and I love you. I finished it last week. I hate you with a passion.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-05-06 guide 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-05-06 Pub. Date: 2016-05-06
Image Number: 142722
Caption: If the sleeping pills I prescribed for you don't work, I want you to try guided meditation. You'll close your eyes and imagine yourself rising into the warm heavens. The worry and anxiety in your face melts away. Focus on the darkness behind your eyelids. Imagine that darkness turning into outer space. The stars beckon you to join them. You float to them. You become one with them. That's when the great truth of the universe reveals itself to you, and you learn ... we're out of time. That'll be $100. OH COME ON!!!
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-10 guide 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-10 Pub. Date: 2015-11-10
Image Number: 135007
Caption: I went out with this book agent last week and told him some stories about work. Then he tried to get me to write a novel based on it. Awesome! I've written three, you know. If you need any advice, just come to me. I could walk you through it. Share my expertise. Writing a novel is a long, hard process. Takes about six months to a year. I'll guide you through it, 'cause you're my best friend and I love you. I finished it last week. I hate you with a passion.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-11 guide 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-11 Pub. Date: 2015-08-11
Image Number: 130934
Caption: Robin Thicke's new girlfriend looks an awful lot like his ex-wife Paula Patton. That's so textbook. Textbook? It's right out of chapter 7 of The Guy's Guide to Breakups by Randy "The Rock" Taylor. Chapter 7's called "You Can't Miss Her if You're Dating Her Clone." I really don't want to talk about Robin Thicke. I'm trying to give you a head's up, Susan. Every man's a little bit Thicke.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-11-02 guide 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-11-02 Pub. Date: 2014-11-02
Image Number: 117756
Caption: I'm tired of race-baiters claiming the real purpose of voter ID laws is to suppress the black vote. I mean, it's probably just a coincidence those laws were enacted the moment the Supreme Court killed part of the 1965 Voting Rights Act. You know what else is just a big coincidence? What's that? Most of those states were once part of the Confederacy and prevented blacks from voting until the Voting Rights Act of 1965. Page 26,958 subparagraph Y in 'The Delusional Black Man's Guide to Interpreting the Behavior of Others.' 'Plenty of Confederates didn't even see color.'
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-09-07 guide 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-09-07 Pub. Date: 2014-09-07
Image Number: 115372
Caption: I taught Lionel how to call 911. WHAT?! What that little two-year-old boy ever done to you, Big L? Huh? Cops be outta control, bruh. If there a emergency an' he call 911, there a 50/50 chance the police'll help … an' a 50/50 chance they gonna knock down the door without a warrant, toss in a flashbang grenade, an' pepper spray your toddler before draggin' his dad out in the hallway half naked. What is you thinkin' Big L? He's be better off if you teach him to call Domino's. Well, they would probably get there faster.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-11-04 guide 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-11-04 Pub. Date: 2013-11-04
Image Number: 103505
Caption: The South's new "voter ID laws" have nothing to do with race. Yeah, right. Thank God For Culture Clash. No really, it says right here in "The Delusional Black Man's Guide to Interpreting The Behavior of Others," top of page 150,786. "Even if they are recording everything you do, it's only to catch terrorists and will never be used against you if you're not a terrorist." Oops ... My bad; this is "The Delusional Citizens Guide to Interpreting The Behavior of Government."
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-06-08 guide 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-06-08 Pub. Date: 2012-06-08
Image Number: 81661
Caption: No, I don’t have any "tour guide" experience. That's too bad. Jobville Employment Agency. Tourism is booming. Foreigners are flocking to America like rubberneckers flocking to see a car crash. Say what? I'm as bad with analogies as … … Something else is bad at a thing.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-09-16 guide 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-09-16 Pub. Date: 2011-09-16
Image Number: 65648
Caption: there's nothing racial about all the disrespect Obama gets. Look, it's right there on page 28,987, paragraph 5. "The officer is pulling you over even though you haven't commeitted any intereactions, but only to make sure you're having a nice day." Oh, wait, I think I meant page 29,987. "The Delusional Black Man's Guide to Interpreting the Behavior or Others" needs an index.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-03-11 guide 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-03-11 Pub. Date: 2011-03-11
Image Number: 58317
Caption: It seems like the "adjustment bureau" is just a movie version of Fringe's "The Observer" characters. Men in suits and fedoras who guide everyone's fate. I know what you're gonna say: "But Lemont, Fringe is about a war between two alternate realities." Hey! Stop! You shedding cool points like dandruff! ... And "but Lemont, the observers only make sure the most pivotal events happen, whereas the Adjustment Bureau controls every little thing." Sometimes it's nice to just stretch out.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-12-29 guide 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-12-29 Pub. Date: 2009-12-29
Image Number: 42483
Caption: You're a writer. I'll use terms you'll understand to prove you're hallucinating all this. Ever heard of the concept of the "Hero's Journey"? Of course. The protagonist gets thrust into a hopeless abyss of danger against his will, but a wise dude gives him the tools to overcome his challenges. He finds peace, obtains his goals, and returns home a hero. See. You've constructed a hero's journey in your head for yourself. The hopeless abyss: you're stuck in Mexico. You've got the wise guide ... Don't flatter yourself.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-10-04 guide 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-10-04 Pub. Date: 2009-10-04
Image Number: 39059
Caption: I'm sick of liberals saying President Obama's critics are racists. I mean, just because he's the only president to be called a liar in a joint session of Congress in all the sixty years of the television age … … doesn't mean anything. Maybe not. And just 'cause the Congressman who shouted at him is a member of the sons of Confederate veterans doesn't mean anything either. Page 18,997 subparagraph x in "The Delusional Black Man's Guide to Interpreting the Behavior of Others." "Move along, nothing see here."
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-05-02 guide 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-05-02 Pub. Date: 2009-05-02
Image Number: 32001
Caption: I knew it. A Black man gets elected president an' all of a sudden a southern state talks about seceding from the union. Oh, please. It's a well-known fact that this has nothing at all to do with race. A fact? Page 189,543: "Sudden talk of secession right after the first Black president takes office is purely coincidental, and based wholly on differing views about unemployment compensation." You really need to get your own copy of "The Delusional Black Man's Guide to Interpreting the Behavior of Others."
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-10-10 guide 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-10-10 Pub. Date: 2008-10-10
Image Number: 27223
Caption: Anderson Cooper's Battle Journal, Day 12: Our guide was one of those guys who had that weird light around him. Glow-in-dark iPOD. $99 at Target. We felt safe with him. Don't eat at that Taco Bell. Bad cheese. Nodung River that way, behind Starbuck! Go! Save John McCain honor from fetid prison camp! He knew the ways of the natives. Because he was one. Mmm... I love the smell of hazelnut latte in the morning.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-10-11 guide 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-10-11 Pub. Date: 2007-10-11
Image Number: 18869
Caption: I'm tired of people saying Fox News's Bill O'Reilly is a racist… …Just because he couldn't get "over" seeing civilized Black folks in a restaurant. His being shocked to learn we don't eat with our knuckles is the highest of compliments. Where'd you get that idea? "Delusional Black Man's Guide to Interpreting the Behavior of Others," page 21,985.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-03-01 guide 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-03-11 Pub. Date: 2007-03-01
Image Number: 16388
Caption: Fox's show about Obama started with shots of jumping Africans and ended with "Don't tell mama, I'm for Obama." How can you say that's not racist? Thought you'd never ask. What's this? My uncle gave me this book. Changed my whole life. "The Delusional Black Man's Guide to Interpreting the Behavior of Others." Page 87: "That security guard's only following you to make sure nothing bad happens to you."
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-03-02 guide 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-03-11 Pub. Date: 2007-03-02
Image Number: 16389
Caption: "The Delusional Black Man's Guide to Interpreting the Behavior of Others." I've had it since I was ten. It literally covers every contingency. Literally? Check out page 18,987. "Fox News' satire show -- Barack Obama Skit -- Time Index 01:37… "…titled 'Barack vs. Tiger Woods: Who's More Diverse?' -- is actually a celebration of diversity."
     
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