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- I'd like to see
comic strips about
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Use these links to see comic strips about things that are
by comic strip.
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| Candorville |
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1. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-10-06 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-10-06 |
| Image Number: |
179724 |
| Caption: |
The American people are so happy that we have the greatest president of all time! Sure, some libs hate him, but the American people laugh at those losers! LOLOLOLOL! The American people are 100% behind our POTUS! What're you doing, auditioning for the role of Suckup who posts fawning replies every single time the President tweets? Heh-heh ... Heh ... You know they have bots for that, right? *@#$! automation is ruining everything!
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2. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-08-04 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-08-04 |
| Image Number: |
178780 |
| Caption: |
Triple espresso, please. No caffeine for you, Uncle Mort. Doctor's orders. I thought you might say that. That's why I brought along my doctor. He can attest that I'm perfectly healthy and can tolerate vast quantities of caffeine. Mortimer Park is perfectly healthy and can tolerate vast quantities of caffeine. His bones are strong, his blood pressure is dandy, and he's got the pancreas of a man half his age. Give my patient a quadruple espresso, stat!!! You're a great ventriloquist, but your aim is lousy.
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3. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-07-28 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-07-28 |
| Image Number: |
178668 |
| Caption: |
You got some money I could hold right quick? My boy Tashif Sheefy McFly Turner got arrested in Detroit, bruh. I don't know, Clyde … What'd they arrest this guy for? He was painting a mural the city hired him to paint. Naturally, the cops arrested him for vandalism. A city official came down an' told the cops what was up. So all of a sudden they arrested him for somethin' else: resisting, obstructing ... havin' a outstanding traffic ticket ... Geez ... All right, I just sent you money. I think it's great you want to bail him out. Boop boop. Bail who out? He been got out weeks ago. Thanks for the money, though, Big L. Give me back my money!
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4. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-07-27 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-07-27 |
| Image Number: |
178674 |
| Caption: |
Boss, I've got a new idea. I think it'll double - no, triple - our sales. Not again. No, hear me out. This one's great. You know how we've been trying to figure out a way to keep customers from going to Coffee King? Yes. We've paid sweatshops in Foreignvania to post negative Yelp reviews ... We've planted rats in their kitchen ... and we've besmirched their name in many ways. Well here's my idea: Why don't we try serving better coffee than them? Where's the fun in that.
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5. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-07-14 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-07-14 |
| Image Number: |
178556 |
| Caption: |
According to Elon Musk, time travel is possible. I can't wait to time-travel. Elon Musk said time travel is possible? Well, not in so many words. He said it's almost a certainty that we're living in a simulation being run by our descendants in the distant future. His reasoning makes sense. In just my lifetime, we went from "Pac-Man" to "The Sims," where Sims live, work, fall in love, have kids ... and in a few decades, the Sims will be artificially intelligent and they'll actually believe they're experiencing all that. If we're artificially intelligent Sims, then anything is possible. What time travel to be possible? Just wait for the Great Programmer to install the "time travel" expansion pack. Want to live forever? Get him to install the "immortality" expansion pack. According to Elon Musk, I'm one expansion pack away from being a billionaire playboy. Nothing doing. the Great Programmer exhausted all his "miracle" expansion packs 2,000 years ago. But he's still got some "delusion" expansions. (This cartoon was originally published on 2016-07-10).
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6. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-06-30 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-06-30 |
| Image Number: |
178274 |
| Caption: |
I'm unpoor! You're what? You're looking at an employed man. After seven years of unemployment, I just got a job at Walmart. It pays slightly more than minimum wage. Congrats. The first thing I'm going to do with my newfound wealth is buy a new pair of boxers. I haven't bought a new pair of boxers since 2012. America is great again, baby!
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7. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-06-02 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-06-02 |
| Image Number: |
177793 |
| Caption: |
I've noticed a 25.9% uptick in impeachment talk among the patrons. I hadn't noticed. I've also noticed your complete and utter failure to depict those talking about it as sore losers … As delusional, evil, insane cretins having temper tantrums. So what if my disgraced former lawyer says he bribed the city council on my behalf to forbid any cafes but mine within city limits? What about the phenomenal job growth I've caused? I now employ you, a Roomba and, allegedly, nine out of ten city council members. Now get out there and pit our patrons against one another by declaring this witch hunt to be an illegal coup. And remind them you can't impeach a cafe owner for creating a great underground economy. Very bad man.
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8. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-05-18 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-05-18 |
| Image Number: |
177625 |
| Caption: |
Have you seen Avengers? Yeah, I saw that Socialist propaganda. What? Men in tights who thought they could make everything great with the snap of a finger. The world moved on when 3.5 billion people vanished. That means if they came back, they'd all be unemployed. Not everything has to be political. I turned to the stranger next to me said How are they going to pay for that?
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9. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-05-05 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-05-05 |
| Image Number: |
177448 |
| Caption: |
What brings you to therapy, Mr. Jollee? My unhappy coworkers. Dr. Noodle. They're the ones with the problem, not me. I'm happy. All of the time. All of the time? Every moment, I greet the world with a smile and with laughter! No matter what's happening! Aaris brought donuts, and I said What a great guy! whenever anyone makes a sale, I lead a cheer! When Andy fell out the window, I shouted Cheer up! There're trees down there! Aim for those! What? The next day, everyone else was moping around, but not me. I put on a smile and said On the bright side, almost all the cactuses are still ok! ... and that's when they sent you to therapy. No, they sent me here after I gave the eulogy.
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10. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-02-21 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-02-21 |
| Image Number: |
176394 |
| Caption: |
I looked up that Ralph Waldo Emerson quote. He said … To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is a great accomplishment. I wonder if he'd have said that if he hadn't died in 1882. I'm not sure marching to the beat of one's own drummer is as great an accomplishment as walking on the moon, for instance. Shhh. Gilligan Island be on.
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11. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-02-14 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-02-14 |
| Image Number: |
176284 |
| Caption: |
I read your article. You wrote We should always be skeptical of the judgment of history's great people if they were ok with slavery. You're such an ignoramus. You can't judge people from the past by today's standards. Y'know, plenty of people in the past were not ok with slavery. Yeah, right. Like who? The slaves. They don't count. They were biased.
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12. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-02-02 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-02-02 |
| Image Number: |
176036 |
| Caption: |
Akron, OH, you're on Ask Sadie. What's your problem?! I never signed up for health insurance this year. Good idea. In my day, there was no such thing as health insurance. If you got sick, you paid for it with either money or chickens. That's if you were a lily-livered coward who just had to see a doctor. When Great-great-grandmother Cohen had her sixth hear attack, she just applied a poultice made of chestnut leaves and flour and kept on plowing.
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13. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-01-29 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-01-29 |
| Image Number: |
176032 |
| Caption: |
I'm sorry, Dick Fink. What was that you were saying about Aristotle? I was saying, he'd be a great spokesman for an ad campaign. You should pitch it to that big client you just landed. Smarty-smart genius brain academy? Exactly. What would impress them more than an entire campaign based on the wisest philosopher in history? Aristotle was a moron ... are you trying to sabotage me? You're scolding me. Aristotle said women were more apt to scold.
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14. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-12-07 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-12-07 |
| Image Number: |
175266 |
| Caption: |
I read your article about Thanksgiving. Great. I think it's shameful you would somehow find fault with the Pilgrims and the brave settlers who founded the greatest nation on earth. My family came over on a boat to forge a mighty and wonderful nation and I don't appreciate you badmouthing them. Your family came over on a boat? On it, under it ... same difference.
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15. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-11-18 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-11-18 |
| Image Number: |
174714 |
| Caption: |
It all started when I was a tiny kid. My grandpa made me get up on stage at the family reunion and sing. Dr. Noodle. He'd really built me up. Told everyone how great a singer I was. But when I looked out at the crowd of 200 or 300 people who were strangers to me ... I froze. The room was completely quiet and I saw 200 or 300 sets of eyes staring at me. Burrowing into my soul and holding me in contempt. I forgot all the words. I started to cry. And then I wet myself. The first step toward overcoming shyness is crawling out from beneath my couch. Never!!!
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16. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-10-07 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-10-07 |
| Image Number: |
174190 |
| Caption: |
House of Java Café. Grand Opening. I come from a long line of warriors. Women from my family have served in all 49 World Wars. There were only two. You don't think the first world war was fought in 1914, do you? Let's take for instance, the so-called Seven Years War ... The year was 1750: My great-great-great-great-great-great-grandma Sadie dared a Frenchman to build a house in the British Ohio River Valley ... yadda yadda yadda, all the world's great powers ended up fighting across five different continents. We've served similarly in every world war dating back to the epic struggle between the allied dinosaurs and the axis of invertebrates. Admit it: There've been more than just two world wars. There's no shame in admitting you were wrong. Ok. I was wrong. Loser! He's a loser! The loser admits it! Can't win.
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17. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-07-10 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-07-10 |
| Image Number: |
172713 |
| Caption: |
Meanwhie, refugees from Canardville are making the most of it. Boss, I got your memo about these refugee blankets. Good. How many of them have we sold? None. We don't own them, Armstrong. WE can't sell what we don't own. Have I taught you nothing? A good businessman sells what he owns. A great businessman sells what he doesn't yet own and uses the loot to either buy it or flee to Cameroon. That doesn't sound right. Fine - Russia then. |
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18. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-06-04 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-06-04 |
| Image Number: |
172068 |
| Caption: |
Has it occurred to you, Rosencrantz, that we are never there? Wherever we are at any given moment is but a rest stop on a journey form where we were to where we are headed. All of existence is in motion. Sometimes I wonder what would happen if some great being would put its finger on existence and bring it to a halt. Even the great finger could not remain there forever, for the finger is always on a journey to somewhere else. I sense this thesis is about to go sideways, Tyrone.
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19. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-04-21 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-04-21 |
| Image Number: |
170579 |
| Caption: |
Yes it's small, and yes it may smell of tuna … but it's a great investment property. I've already got it booked solid the entire month of April on AirBnB. The end.
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20. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-03-24 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-03-24 |
| Image Number: |
169631 |
| Caption: |
So how was your week, Susan? So-so. I brought in a huge client. And then we lost a different one. I met a great guy. And the next morning I met his girlfriend. I found a perfect parking spot. And then I got a parking ticket. I finally had time to read a novel I'd been dying to read. But it turned out to be horrible. Forget I asked. Someone finally asked me how my week went, but ...
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