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Candorville

Comics about George W. Bush .

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21. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-05-30 George W. Bush 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-05-30 Pub. Date: 2007-05-30
Image Number: 17383
Caption: In other news, after having outsourced some commander-in-chief duties to a so-called "war czar"… …the president has decided to outsource other typical presidential roles. Oprah Winfrey has just been appointed "photo op czar." When asked for comment, Winfrey directed us to the new "Avoiding-the-question czar," who hasn't returned our calls.
     
22. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-05-29 George W. Bush 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-05-29 Pub. Date: 2007-05-29
Image Number: 17382
Caption: Tony, did the president appoint this "war czar" to deflect blame for any future setbacks? That's just ridiculous, Greg. The president accepts full responsibility for the wars… …and feels Lt. General Scapegoat is filling a vital position. You mean "Lt. General Lute"? What did I say?
     
23. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-05-28 George W. Bush 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-05-28 Pub. Date: 2007-05-28
Image Number: 17381
Caption: Britain in India. France in Algeria. USSR in Europe… Modern history tells us long military occupations of sovereign nations always fail. As your president, I've come to the only logical conclusion… You're pulling us out of Iraq, sir? I'm appointing a "war czar" to referee bureaucratic squabbles between the State Department and other agencies. Just as wise. Then I'm refusing to give our soldiers a 3.5% pay raise.
     
24. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-02-03 George W. Bush 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-02-03 Pub. Date: 2007-02-03
Image Number: 15979
Caption: In other news, our invasion of America has been called off. Sources say it was all a misunderstanding. Condoleeza Rice actually threatened to attack nations that seek to destabilize Iraq. Ms. Rice persuaded the President that since we destabilized Iraq by accident, a simple "oopsy, my bad" will suffice. Back to our top story: Are the American Idol judges meaner this year?
     
25. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-02-02 George W. Bush 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-02-02 Pub. Date: 2007-02-02
Image Number: 15978
Caption: We interviewed Democratic Speaker of the House Pelosi about the President's plan to invade America. Wolf, military commanders say it’s a horrible idea. The American people overwhelmingly oppose it. We Democrats will not let this happen. You're going to cut off funding for the invasion? Better. We're going to glare sternly in the President's general direction.
     
26. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-02-01 George W. Bush 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-02-01 Pub. Date: 2007-02-01
Image Number: 15970
Caption: The President, in keeping with a threat of military action against any country that's destabilizing Iraq, has dispatched the USS Custer battle group to the Potomac River to intimidate himself. Response from some quarters is predictable. Neoconservatives. He's doing what he has to protect us from us. Liberals. No war for brownstone quarries. We're stealing our natural resources! Clyde. Depends. After we invade us, would we allow us to loot?
     
27. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-01-31 George W. Bush 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-01-31 Pub. Date: 2007-01-31
Image Number: 15969
Caption: Many officials believe our ongoing occupation of Iraq is destroying that country's government. In keeping with Secretary's Rice's warning of military action against any country destabilizing Iraq, the President has deployed naval forces to Washington, D.C. Will he successfully intimidate himself, or will there be war? But first our top story: The ongoing feud between Donald Trump and Rosie O'Donnell apparently has nothing to do with Britney Spears.
     
28. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-01-30 George W. Bush 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-01-30 Pub. Date: 2007-01-30
Image Number: 15957
Caption: In other news: Condoleeza Rice reiterated a warning today saying that the U.S. will take military action against any country that destabilizes Iraq. In a related story, the White House has dispatched the USS Custer strike group up the Chesapeake Bay toward Washington, D.C. The President had this to say: I'm confident I can reason with myself through diplomacy, but just in case...
     
29. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-01-19 George W. Bush 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-01-19 Pub. Date: 2007-01-19
Image Number: 15856
Caption: In other news, The President was found today. Here to discuss the matter, the detective who tracked down the commander in chief. It was a fairly easy trail to follow, Wolf. The man left signing statements all over town. At Arby's, he'd amended several menus and the ladies' room sign. Finally caught 'im at the National Archives with wite-out and a sharpie. Amazing. He was muttering "Me, the people," to himself.
     
30. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-01-18 George W. Bush 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-01-18 Pub. Date: 2007-01-18
Image Number: 15842
Caption: Our top story: The President is still missing! To discuss the matter, we have Al Mendoza, senior constitution correspondent. What will happen if the President isn't found soon, Al? Chaos, Wolf. Laws passed by Congress will go without being rewritten at the last minute by the President, for one thing. Laws may actually end up meaning what they way they mean. Unthinkable.
     
31. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-01-17 George W. Bush 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-01-17 Pub. Date: 2007-01-17
Image Number: 15841
Caption: Breaking News: The President is missing! White House sources say all that was found was a scribbled note complaining of "wrist pain" … pain caused by issuing several hundred 'signing statements" contradicting the meaning of he laws they're attached to. Here to discuss the matter, tunnel expert Khan Tryte. Repetitive stress injuries can sometimes lead to nervous breakdowns, Wolf.
     
32. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-01-16 George W. Bush 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-01-16 Pub. Date: 2007-01-16
Image Number: 15793
Caption: In other news, the White House continues to defend the President's recent "signing statement" authorizing himself to open your mail without a warrant if he says it's an emergency. We sent invitations to constitutional experts to discuss the matter on-air, but for some reason we've had no response. This just in: Britney Spears did not do anything stupid today.
     
33. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-10-22 George W. Bush 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-11-08 Pub. Date: 2006-10-22
Image Number: 15094
Caption: So, Ebenezer, tell me about these visions you're having. Had to lay off ten people 'cause we couldn't afford to pay their health benefits. Congress does nothing about the health insurance problem. Every time I think about voting them out … Bad people are tryin' to kill you and your family. It happened again, Doc! I picture the President every time I even think about voting democratic ... They wanna kill ya dead! They wanna kill you wife! Whey wanna kill yer puppy dog! They wanna murder yer hamster till it's dead! It has nothing to do with me being afraid of a new congress that might actually hold me accountable for my actions, by the way. Oh, doctor, what's wrong with me? BOO!
     
34. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-10-07 George W. Bush 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-10-16 Pub. Date: 2006-10-07
Image Number: 14810
Caption: I'm sick of liberals like that Colin Powell whining about the President torturing people. Who cares if the torture keeps giving us faulty information? I don't hear bleeding-heart liberals proposing a better way to get people to tell us whatever they think we want to hear whether it's true or not. What?
     
35. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-10-02 George W. Bush 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-10-02 Pub. Date: 2006-10-02
Image Number: 14805
Caption: Maverick republican senators forced Bush to compromise on his torture bill! Huh? They were really vague. They said he can't torture people, but they didn't define "torture." For the most past they left if up to the president to decide what is and isn't torture. How can you call that a "compromise"? Hello? Let's talk about Tom Cruise.
     
36. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-09-21 George W. Bush 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-09-21 Pub. Date: 2006-09-21
Image Number: 14742
Caption: Facing fierce criticism, ABC has decided to re-edit its new docu-drama, "Path to World War II." "When you take on the responsibility of telling the story behind such an important event, it is absolutely critical that you get it right," according to ABC. "For instance, the key scene where Dick Cheney parachutes into Hitler's bunker and kills him with his bare hands. Gone." In other news, ABC has announced a new docu-drama, "Path to the Civil War," starring Vin Diesel as George W. Bush.
     
37. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-08-20 George W. Bush 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-09-05 Pub. Date: 2006-08-20
Image Number: 14473
Caption: In Vitro Fertilization Clinic Surplus Embryos I sure am glad the president keeps us safe from the scientists. I feel you, dawg. I mean, sure, extracting our stem cells for experiments could lead to cures for Parkinson's, Diabetes, cancer -- all sorts of agonizing diseases that ruin millions of lives every year. Yadda yadda yadda... But it's just... y'know... wrong. Yeah, dawg. Wrong! Bush values us. Bush saved us from that horrible fate. I wonder what happens now? Will we be born? Grow up? Fall in love? See the sunsets? Swim in the sea? Hey, brutha, hold up. Don't jinx it, now! Oh, I can't wait! Life! Glorious, glorious life awaits us! Nuts. If I had arms and legs, I'd whup yo' @*#, punk.
     
38. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-08-21 George W. Bush 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-09-05 Pub. Date: 2006-08-21
Image Number: 14474
Caption: Who's your friend, Lemont? The name's "Some people," cutie-pie. But you can call me "They." He works for the White House. He says a buncha nonsense nobody really believes, and then the President disagrees and gets to look wise. There's no threat to the United States. Terrorism isn't that big a deal. I've forgotten we were attacked on 9-11. Um... nice to meet you? Let's try hugging the terrorists.
     
39. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-08-29 George W. Bush 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-08-29 Pub. Date: 2006-08-29
Image Number: 14548
Caption: In an alternate universe, the events on 1773 happen instead in 2003 … I'm Wolf Blitzer! And you're watching CNN! Our main story! Riot in Boston! Several crates of tea dumped into the harbor! Here to talk about it! The King's Press Secretary! Scott McClellan! Wolf, this King will never back down in the face of terrorist threats. Other news! Michael Jackson on trial!
     
40. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-08-13 George W. Bush 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2006-08-13 Pub. Date: 2006-08-13
Image Number: 14364
Caption: President Bush, most Americans favor embryonic stem cell research. Americans say these embryos will be thrown away anyway… Why not use them to find cures for horrible diseases? Why let the embryos perish in vain when they can save millions of lives? Well, don't ask me, Bob. Just ask the embryos. I have a couple here with me, let 'em talk for themselves. Golly, Bob, I'm a person too. I have dreams. I want to be a ballerina. Me too, Bob. I wanna be a professional wrestler. Sure, we're gonna be thrown away. But who's to say the garbage lady won't trip, and I'll end up implanted in her uterus, where I'll grow up and become a pretty dancer who wears tutus? I can see your lips moving, Mr. Bush. I like to dance. And I like to wrassle!
     
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