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Candorville

Comics about being funnies.

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41. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-11-19 funny 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-11-19 Pub. Date: 2010-11-19
Image Number: 54274
Caption: Why do you care whether I follow you on Tweeter, anyway? "Twitter" … Twitter.com/Candorville. And what do you mean? Your long-lost love Sasha Mitchell Facebooked you the other day. Why don't you ask HER to check out your tweeter? Twitter. Um … are you mad at me? Why would I be mad that you're Facebooking some chick who BETRAYED me back in college? Well ... as long as you're not mad. I'm sure SHE'D think your tweeter was funny.
     
42. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-11-18 funny 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-11-18 Pub. Date: 2010-11-18
Image Number: 54273
Caption: Twitter.com/Candorville. Say it: "Twitter.com/Candorville." No. But you can read my funny observations about life right on your smart phone! Even if you're in line at the DMV, or getting a root canal. Lemont, I just don't want to be one of those people who, in the middle of a crowded room, looks at her phone and starts laughing. They used to COMMIT people who did that sort of thing. Can I tweet that?
     
43. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-11-07 funny 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-11-07 Pub. Date: 2010-11-07
Image Number: 53696
Caption: Dr. Noodle. So what brings you to therapy? A cab. Very funny. Why's that funny? Huh? You think my not being able to afford a car is funny? No, I think … You think standing out there for an hour while cab after cab passed me by - for obvious reasons - is funny? ... I'm just messin' with you, dawg. I walked here. Oh. Hey heh. ... So, why are you here? it all started with the Big Bang ...
     
44. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-11-06 funny 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-11-06 Pub. Date: 2010-11-06
Image Number: 53695
Caption: He won't take out the trash. Not true. Dr. Noodle Couples' Counseling. Why, just the other day I took your mother to dinner. Heh heh … She doesn't get it. … and neither will you. Let's go another hour.
     
45. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-04-09 funny 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-04-09 Pub. Date: 2010-04-09
Image Number: 45962
Caption: Really, mister? YOU wrote this humor column for the newspaper? Yeah, what do you think, kid? I think if you included some swearing, you'd be a lot funnier. Hahaha, I'd also be unemployed. Aren't you concerned about being unemployed because you're not funny?
     
46. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-04-06 funny 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-04-06 Pub. Date: 2010-04-06
Image Number: 45965
Caption: Sir, there's gotta be a better way to save $150 grand than replacing our political satirist … … with a syndicated humor column from North Korean dictator Kim Jong Il. Humor is humor. What's it matter where it comes from? "A duck and a South Korean spy walk into North Korea. The spy says to the duck, "Why were we caught and imprisoned?" ... The duck says "Because you didn't duck." I fail to see the problem.
     
47. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-04-05 funny 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-04-05 Pub. Date: 2010-04-05
Image Number: 45958
Caption: The Candorville Chronicle. Perry White meets with an ACME syndicate salesman. Sorry, we already have a political satirist. Sage Blithely is local! He's funny! Insightful! Relevant! Has his finger on the pulse of our community! … And you pay him $150 grand per year. We can give you a weekly humor column by North Korean dictator Kim Jong Il for $5. An nyoung ha seh ho. You speak Korean? For $150 grand, I'll speak Klingon.
     
48. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-03-07 funny 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-03-07 Pub. Date: 2010-03-07
Image Number: 44616
Caption: Put. The fork. Down. 'scuse me? I'm you from two years in the future. Keep eating that stuff, you'll end up at Jenny Craig. You won't even have to move, you'll just expand until you're sitting in their office. Hey! That … … That's funny. Can I use that in my next column for the paper? Sure. Just be sure to give me credit. HA HA HA HA HA. You gonna eat that?
     
49. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-02-21 funny 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-02-21 Pub. Date: 2010-02-21
Image Number: 44142
Caption: That's funny-looking salt. What's with the salt? It's a blend we have made specially for us. What're all these brown spots? Those are minerals. Iron, phosphorus … mined by hand at the base of the Himalayas. Wow. They give it a tangy aftertaste you can't find anywhere else. I see. And these cobwebs? Silken decorations weaved specifically for us.
     
50. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-09-07 funny 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-09-07 Pub. Date: 2009-09-07
Image Number: 38141
Caption: I need to tell you the ground rules. Anything you say is just between us … Except for two things: if you threaten yourself or someone else, or if you tell me about a child or a senior citizen who's in danger. Sounds reasonable. Or if you say something so juicy I have to share it with my friends. ... So start by telling me why you have no sense of humor. Ok ... it all started with this obnoxious therapist.
     
51. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-09-05 funny 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-09-05 Pub. Date: 2009-09-05
Image Number: 38002
Caption: … And I'm not into that, so needless to say, I slapped both of them. Pardon me. Couldn't help but overhear. If something were "needless to say," you wouldn't have to say it. So if you think about it, it's needless to say something's needless to say. You're not funny AT ALL. Well that was needless to say.
     
52. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-05-19 funny 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-08-07 Pub. Date: 2006-05-19
Image Number: 13762
Caption: Are you only my friend because I laugh at your jokes? Because I think you're smart and I respect you … and because you feel the same about me? Um …no? So you don't think I'm smart and funny? Sometimes you're like a minefield, Lemont. What's that supposed to mean?
     
53. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-04-03 funny 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-04-03 Pub. Date: 2009-04-03
Image Number: 31252
Caption: Twitter. Lemont Brown: Somehow got away from vampire. Lemont Brown: Maybe 'cause sun came up. Anyway, stumbled and fell off cliff. Lemont Brown: In free-fall. Can see city from here. Think I see my apartment. Lemont Brown: Will post again after I call ambulance. Buzzard just gave me funny look.
     
54. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-02-18 funny 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-02-18 Pub. Date: 2009-02-18
Image Number: 30202
Caption: Lemont Brown, of NBC News. Rise and ask thy question, child. Actually, I'm not with NBC. I work for a newspaper. You poor wretch. Here's 25 shekels, buy thyself a hot meal of grains and figs. That's not funny, Mr. Burning Bush. I've been waiting all morning to do that.
     
55. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-01-15 funny 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-01-15 Pub. Date: 2009-01-15
Image Number: 29376
Caption: The young slave Frederick Douglass has an odd dream… Are we lowly animals to be abused at will? Master tied Aunt Hester to a beam and stripped her bare. Then, with his face red with fury, he slashed his whip down and down until the soil below was saturated with blood. I feel you, Dog. I can't even go into a 7-Eleven without the guard lookin' at me funny. ...You poor fellow. An' if I try to get a small business loan? Forget it.
     
56. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-09-20 funny 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-09-20 Pub. Date: 2008-09-20
Image Number: 26783
Caption: What do you mean I can't fire Dick Fink? He patched my private phone conversation into the office intercom! Now everyone knows all my intimate stuff! Yes… But on the other hand, it was very, very funny. I… I'm speechless. That's odd, I thought I just heard you say something.
     
57. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-09-17 funny 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-09-17 Pub. Date: 2008-09-17
Image Number: 26780
Caption: Maybe your boyfriend, Phil Anders, was joking about being married, but maybe not. Dana? I don't remember telling you about Phil. Have you thought of talking to him about this? Or at least hiring thugs to beat the truth out of him? What does "at least" mean on your planet? At least try your stun gun on him.
     
58. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-09-16 funny 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-09-16 Pub. Date: 2008-09-16
Image Number: 26779
Caption: Sometimes I think Phil's insulting me, but then he just laughs and says "Can't you take a joke?" I'm not sure I'm a fan of his alleged sense of humor, Lemont. SUSAN, I SAID I THINK SENATOR JOHN EDWARDS MIGHT BE MY SON'S REAL FATHER! Why's it always about you?
     
59. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-09-14 funny 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-09-14 Pub. Date: 2008-09-14
Image Number: 26606
Caption: Meanwhile, at the studios of "Late Night with Jayvid Lennonman"… I'm totally flummoxed, sir. Come on… One of you's got to have some idea how to tell jokes about Barack Obama without sounding racist. Face it, boss! We're a late night show with a white host and white writers! There's just no way! Y'all could hire some black writers. Did you hear something? Some buzzing. Maybe a bee. "Flummoxed"? Who says "Flummoxed"?
     
60. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-09-01 funny 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-09-01 Pub. Date: 2008-09-01
Image Number: 26378
Caption: Realty Ville. I'm sorry, you won't be able to buy a house. What?! Why? Is it my credit score? My income? No, no… It's just that John McCain's already bought them all. Get it? 'Cause the McCains own a bunch of hou-- NOT A FAN OF THE POLITICAL HUMOR!!!
     
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