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Candorville

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Result page:    2  Next  (38 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-10-26 front 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-10-26 Pub. Date: 2019-10-26
Image Number: 180025
Caption: I don't understand what you were doing at the Trump press conference. I'm a journalist. It's my job to be there … even though he got rid of actual press conferences and just stands in front of a loud helicopter so he can pretend not to hear our questions. No, I meant I don't understand why you kept revving that motorcycle every time he answered. Two can play at that game, Susan. Dios mio.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-28 front 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-28 Pub. Date: 2019-04-28
Image Number: 177382
Caption: I'll have the special. One Cat Fur Mocha, coming up. Not today's special. I can't through here back on April 9th, 2011. You had a really delicious special that day. I want that one. I can't do that, sir. Of course you can. I mean, you don't look like the kind of guy who'd like to be hit with a bait and switch lawsuit. Your sign out front says Get the special for only $8.95! It doesn't say get today's special. Get out.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-15 front 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-15 Pub. Date: 2018-11-15
Image Number: 174938
Caption: You're a journalist … You've written a bunch of novels. But have you ever thoughts of writing poetry? Not in a million years. Why not? Wait … is this about what happened in second grade? Of course not, Susan. Just because a young boy stands up in front of the entire school and does a comedy routine in iambic pentameter, and nobody laughs even once ... doesn't mean he'll be traumatized, or anything. It wasn't 'cause it was a poem, Lemont. The room was just a little too old for droll observations about Muppet culture. I've asked you to never say Muppets around me.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-21 front 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-21 Pub. Date: 2018-10-21
Image Number: 174386
Caption: Ask Sadie. Our resident 90-something-year-old radio pundit Sadie Cohen answers actual reader questions. AS away at asksadieshow@gmail.com (if you're sure you want the answer). Dear Sadie, I have to give a speech. When I stand up in front of people to talk, my palms get sweaty, my stomach hurts, and I suddenly have to use the bathroom, even I didn't eat anything. any advice? - Shy in Scottsdale. Excellent question. It reminds me of the very first time I was supposed to give a big speech. It as May 6, 1937 ... As head of the Ladies Auxiliary of Manchester Township's Dirigible Fan Club, I was to give a rousing welcome to an incoming blimp. As the German airship drifted gently overhead, I picked up the microphone, and ... By the ay, you know what people don't tell you? They don't tell you that it could create a spark when you accidentally whack a microphone on a mental box full of fireworks. I was by no means relieved about not having to give a speech that day. That would be wrong. And it was by no means intentional ... not provably so, anyway. Anyway, what were you asking about, again? How quickly to establish an alibi? Um ... that's ok. I've gotta go. Asksadieshow@gmail.com
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-24 front 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-24 Pub. Date: 2018-09-24
Image Number: 174191
Caption: I wrote a very realistic screenplay that subverts all the usual Hollywood cliches. We don't see the protagonist in a moody bar when he feels down; we spend an hour watching him fall asleep all alone in front of his TV … and when he tries to stop a wedding, it takes him half an hour to find a good parking spot, and he misses the whole thing. We watch him circle the block for half an hour. Cliches are cliches for a reason.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-12 front 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-12 Pub. Date: 2018-06-12
Image Number: 172213
Caption: Meanwhile at a café in neighboring Canardville … Have you gathered all the regulars and local animals two-by-two, minion? You were serious about that, boss? Totally unrelated topic: Let's say thousands of years ago, a big oil company was bribing a local shopkeeper to let them use his basement. Let's call him ... oh, I don't know ... Noah. Let's say big oil was using Noah's Cafe to conduct an illegal fracking operation. Let's say this type of mining is ... a tad risky ... and let's say big oil assured Noah that his cafe would be the one place in town that wouldn't cave in. Very very bad man.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-20 front 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-20 Pub. Date: 2017-05-20
Image Number: 158081
Caption: Ain't nobody know what they be doin', Big L. What do you mean? Media be talkin' 'bout Russia Russia Russia all day long. But they ain't marketing it right. How come Netflix don't have "Red Dawn" an' "Twins" an' all them other Cold War movies up on they front page right now? None of this is entertainment!!! Whachoo mean? Danny DeVito an' Arnold Schwarzenegger bein' twins is pure entertainment.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-16 front 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-16 Pub. Date: 2017-03-16
Image Number: 155655
Caption: Everything's good. I'm happy doctor. Dr. Noodle. Excellent! That's great news! As long as your happiness is genuine. As long as its not actually denial. Or as long as it doesn't cause you to become complacent. Nope. Genuine happiness over here. Let's schedule an extra sessions so we can find out if that's the case. M.A.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-02 front 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-02 Pub. Date: 2016-09-02
Image Number: 147923
Caption: I wrote a very realistic screenplay that subverts all the usual Hollywood clichés. We don't see the protagonist in a moody bar when he feels down; we spend an hour watching him fall asleep all along in front of his tv … and when he tries to stop a wedding, it takes him half an hour to find a good parking spot, and he misses the whole thing. We watch him circle the block for a half an hour. Clichés are clichés for a reason.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-27 front 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-27 Pub. Date: 2016-06-27
Image Number: 145228
Caption: I tried to mourn after the Orlando massacre. I really tried. I sat down in front of my tv and waited for the usual grief to come. But all that came was anger. Intense, burning anger … because it felt like a ritual: mass shooting … grief … most of us demand gun control ... Congress does nothing ... we move on ... repeat. That's yo' problem, Big L: You keep expectin' Gilligan to leave that island. Can you ever give me non-Gilligan-related advice?
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-26 front 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-26 Pub. Date: 2016-06-26
Image Number: 144284
Caption: You want to know why I'm voting for Trump? Because I like the idea of him making America great again. Oh, me too. That way we could all build bomb shelters in our backyards. Women could wear corsets, and men could wear suits and fedoras all the time, even while jogging. BLM activist love of red velvet cake. Daily Nutjob. Hillary failed to stop Pearl Harbor. Goodnight Grandpa. Men could smoke and drink in the office like real men, and women could go back to doing whatever we say. Black war vets could be denied a lot of the benefits of the G.I. Bill and I wouldn't have to sit in the front of the bus anymore. Also confesses to having red "Little Red Riding Hood." Hillary rep'd NY on 9/11. Coincidence? Exoneration Nation. I once read that sarcasm is the lowest form of humor. I like the back of the bus. That way I could keep an eye our for all the Communists. Has aversion to pepper spray. Why? Hillary failed to stop destruction of Alderaan.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-01-17 front 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-01-17 Pub. Date: 2016-01-17
Image Number: 137381
Caption: The more I hear Donald Trump talk, the more I like him. I thought you said Trump was an embarrassment. That he was totally bigoted and un-American, and didn't in any way represent the Republican party. You said you'd never vote for him in a million years. Yeah, but that was before. Before what? Newsweak. Before now. We're closer to the election now. Now is when both Republicans and Democrats start to forget what we said before, and fall in line behind our parties' front-runners. Well technically that time would be after the primaries, but I figure, why wait? Well, I'm still going to wait.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-10-18 front 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-10-18 Pub. Date: 2015-10-18
Image Number: 133464
Caption: I never liked Donald Trump. I always thought he was just a blowhard. What are you talking about? You were crazy about Trump. Just last month you were right here, wearing a Trump hat, holding a Trump poster, and reading Trump's book. You told me you'd renamed your goldfish "Donald," and you had colored your hair orange. Newsweak. You said you were picking up "illegals" from in front of Home Depot to help you build a wall around your house. Let's not pretend you weren't totally into Trump. Who is this "Trump" of whom you speak? Stop that.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-10-08 front 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-10-08 Pub. Date: 2015-10-08
Image Number: 133461
Caption: Why would you keep romancing some chick who's also talking to some other guy? Because she was up front about it. I'm just glad she told me sooner rather than later. I don’t get that. Doesn't it hurt? Why do people get accustomed to being hurt just because they're getting hurt early on? Because ... better a pinch now than a punch later. You know who pinches? Scorpions.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-09-07 front 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-09-07 Pub. Date: 2015-09-07
Image Number: 132201
Caption: I'll be sitting front row center at Trump's press conference. So? I'll be sitting front row center at the Kanye concert. It's not a competition, Clyde. I know, fool. He the only one performing. What? What?
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-04-15 front 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-04-15 Pub. Date: 2015-04-15
Image Number: 125564
Caption: Sorry I dunked on you in front of your little boy, Big L. That be insensitive right there. An' I'm sorry I swatted that ball from out your hand in front of your baby boy every single time you tried to take a shot. That was wrong too. An' I'm sorry I pulled your shirt up over the top of yo' head in front of your boy when I won, Big L. Are you sorry you keep reminding me of all that in front of my little boy? Not really.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-04-12 front 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-04-12 Pub. Date: 2015-04-12
Image Number: 124956
Caption: I read the government's using planes to spy on our cellphones. I think it's funny people care about that #$%@. The government been spyin' on me all my life, and didn't nobody care 'bout that. What do you mean? I step out my front door, the police watch from they car. If I walk by a cop, he ask what I got in my jeans. If I walk to 7-Eleven, the police ask where I'm goin'. When I get there, the security guard follow me around the store. Didn't nobody care about "government surveillance" when they thought it only happened to me. Where was Edward Snowman when cops was feelin' me up? Technically, security guards aren't the government.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-11-20 front 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-11-20 Pub. Date: 2014-11-20
Image Number: 118795
Caption: That's the last time I play basketball with you, Big L. Why? The bruthas said "shirts and skins," you got picked for "skins," but you refused to take off your shirt. I don’t like running around in front of people half-naked. That's just weird. You got a jiggle problem, don't you. Be honest. I'm just not an exhibitionist, like you.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-10-31 front 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-10-31 Pub. Date: 2014-10-31
Image Number: 118205
Caption: Why won't you tell Susan the real reason you ain't want her at that comic convention. You know she gonna dress up like Wonder Woman, and you don’t want no other bruthas starin' at her or tryin' to grope her. You got a White Knight Complex, Big L. You'd feel the need to stare down any man you thought was disrespecting her. But you also fight like a toddler, so you know you'd get pantsed right in front of her. You don't know anything.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-09-06 front 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-09-06 Pub. Date: 2013-09-06
Image Number: 101091
Caption: Mr. Fitzhugh, your wife parked in my spot. I had to park in front of a crack house six blocks away. Yayle. CEO of the YEAR 2002. Obamacare. "Obamacare" is not an explanation for everything. Obamacare.
     
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