Free Hospital Souvenirs. Free! With any $2,000 Surgery Purchase. Some Restrictions May Apply. Stylin' plastic bracelet. Maybe I can use this to get into one of those 3-day music festivals! Interesting new body markings! Blood test hole. Wow! "Modern Primitive!" I.V. Hole. E.K.G. Marks. Censor Kleen. Calibrated barf tray! Plastic bag! Hospicare. Name. Room. Footie-socks with rubber treads! What I always wanted! Bills for the rest of your life! Golden Ripoff Insurance.