What was Woodstock, anyway? You don’t know? It's been all over the news for months. Yeah. I switch over to something decent as soon as I hear it. I was too young for Woodstock. Mercifully, I was too old. I was way too young! Why do we hear so much about it? Because everyone there ... got jobs at NPR. NP what?
This family needs some culture! Let's go in town and see the new history museum! I went on a class trip. Then how about the science festival or the blockbuster art exhibit? Negative. Maybe later. Can't we do anything to take advantage of the city's riches? Of course! Sure. Ignore the locals! They just pretend to hate us! Quack! quack! quack!!! Ducky boats!