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Candorville

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141. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-12-11 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-12-11 Pub. Date: 2013-12-11
Image Number: 104849
Caption: Yesterday I was joking around with Clyde, and I called his momma a "horse." Right away, I felt guilty. Women are human beings, not barn animals. So my joke was kind of sexist. It's not your fault, Lemont. You can't help it. ALL men are pigs.
     
142. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-12-08 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-12-08 Pub. Date: 2013-12-08
Image Number: 104376
Caption: "Stupid arguments" are the most important. But a parking spot? Dr. Noodle. Yes. She yelled at me for two hours! She felt belittled. If a parking spot is within ten feet of a hydrant, it's not a spot! It's a ticket-trap! She doesn’t understand these things! I parked right across the street, where I was more comfortable. What's wrong with that?! When you told her "that's not a spot," she heard "you're a woman, you don't know what you're talking about. Well tell her to use the English-to-English dictionary, not the English-to-history-of-gender-inequality dictionary.
     
143. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-10-11 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-10-11 Pub. Date: 2013-10-11
Image Number: 102500
Caption: Republicans in the House seem to think if they don’t like somethin', they don’t have to pay the bills. Thug 4 Life. It's just like when my man Wesley Snipes refused to pay his taxes. I think Wesley Snipes should be Speaker of the House. Thank God For Culture Clash. I don't wanna see John Boehner be Blade, though, so I'ma have to deliberate on this some more. I feel dumber for having heard all that.
     
144. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-10-09 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-10-09 Pub. Date: 2013-10-09
Image Number: 102498
Caption: How'd you feel when the government shut down. Excited. Say what? It's different. It's like when there's a big wreck on the freeway. It's awful, it's tragic. But at the same time, it's invigorating because it's out of the ordinary. We feel bad, but we're all secretly excited, because it reminds us we're living on the edge. This, right here, is why I never ask you for a ride.
     
145. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-09-25 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-09-25 Pub. Date: 2013-09-25
Image Number: 101944
Caption: Hi, momma. No, I didn’t know that about cousin Cletus. He calls his mom that many times a day? … No, I didn’t know that. Well maybe that's 'cause his mom doesn’t make him feel guilty by telling him all the great things his cousin does for his mom. … Wait ... What do you mean "there's no reason for Cletus to worry about that. Do Not Lean On Door.
     
146. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-09-17 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-09-17 Pub. Date: 2013-09-17
Image Number: 101655
Caption: Sup?* Sup?** *How are you doing, my friend? **Well … Thug 4 Life. (Yawn)* *Not too good. I'm feeling … Lonely. (Ahem)* *You don’t have to feel lonely. I'm here. (Cough)* *Where's the $2 you own me? (Snort)** **Solitude is underrated.
     
147. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-09-04 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-09-04 Pub. Date: 2013-09-04
Image Number: 101089
Caption: Heavenly Father, I feel the need to deliver word about the evils of twerking. But I can't find anything about it in the Scriptures. So I'm thinking of just illustrating the point myself, by twerking during the singing of the Hymns. Reverend of the Year 2000. Hey ... I didn't even ask you to give me a sign yet.
     
148. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-08-30 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-08-30 Pub. Date: 2013-08-30
Image Number: 100805
Caption: I've been stopped and frisked eight times. Three of those times, the cop held a gun to my head. One of those times I had to lie face-down in the dirt. Mayor Bloomberg said it's the price I have to pay to make Americans feel safe. Aren't you an American? Only when it's time to pay taxes.
     
149. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-07-26 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-07-26 Pub. Date: 2013-07-26
Image Number: 99563
Caption: Didn’t you say we had to get going, Tyrone? That was then, Rosencrantz. In the intervening moments, inertia has set in. Idleness. Sloth. Lethargy. Torpidity. Can you feel it, Rosencrantz? The dull comfort of lethargy, draped over us … Soft and fluffy like a child's blanky. We'll get going tomorrow, I'm sure. Read me a story, Rosencrantz.
     
150. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-05-31 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-05-31 Pub. Date: 2013-05-31
Image Number: 97403
Caption: The guys change the channel. Can I say something? What is it? Well, judge … Yes, my pitbull ate her car … But that's not the whole story. Thug 4 Life. She didn’t have to come zooming around the corner. Everyone knows the proper way to round a corner where a pitbull lives is slowly, after honking twice. But your honor, she should've had her pitbull on a leash. He's already unfairly maligned ... A leash would make Killer feel even worse.
     
151. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-05-28 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-05-28 Pub. Date: 2013-05-28
Image Number: 97400
Caption: The guys watch "The Maury Show." Brian, Linda accuses you of being the father of her baby. That ain't true, Maury. Yeah, I have 29 other kids, but I ain't claimin' one that ain't mine … … Because I have INTEGRITY. It's like I can feel my synapses just giving up. He do make a good point. Thug 4 Life.
     
152. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-05-24 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-05-24 Pub. Date: 2013-05-24
Image Number: 97124
Caption: I've been feeling kind of isolated lately. Dr. Noodle. It's like the more Facebook friends I get, the fewer real friends I have. I'm starting to feel like people who don’t really know me know me better than people who know me well. Does that make sense? Mind if I write a paper about you? Ph.D.
     
153. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-05-22 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-05-22 Pub. Date: 2013-05-22
Image Number: 97122
Caption: Don’t feel bad. It's normal to have these feelings. It doesn’t make you a bad parent as long as you don’t ACT on them. Dr. Noodle. I's normal to resent my own child for refusing to go to sleep till 4 A.M. every single day? Ph.D. Yes. Parents need some time to unwind at the end of the day. It's normal to imagine myself waiting till he does fall asleep, and then blowing a trumpet in his ear? Still normal. Ph. D.
     
154. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-05-10 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-05-10 Pub. Date: 2013-05-10
Image Number: 96589
Caption: I feel sorry for the middle name. What? You've got your last name, which is the revered and responsible eldest child. Then you've got your first name, which is quirky and full of personality. But no one remembers the middle name exists until it plummets into an orgy of self-hatred and robs a bank. You had me ... and then you lost me. (Originally published 2011-05-27).
     
155. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-05-03 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-05-03 Pub. Date: 2013-05-03
Image Number: 96490
Caption: I feel the spell about to be broken, Rosencrantz. What? It's been a very good day. Nice breeze, good company. Thank you. That means something bad's about to happen. We must pay for every measure of pleasure with an equal amount of pain. I'm still not letting you thump me on the head with your shoe. Rosencrantz, don't be an idiot. Do you want something even worse to happen? (Originally published 2011-07-29).
     
156. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-04-14 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-04-14 Pub. Date: 2013-04-14
Image Number: 95260
Caption: My fiancée's family hates me. As long as she's with me, they'll treat her as an outcast. I feel so guilty about dividing the family. Dr. Noodle. How do I fix this? You have two options … You can suck up to them and hope that will win the affections of the sort of people who think it's their right to judge you ... ... Or you can be a good man, lead a life of integrity, be content that you know you're good for her, and don't give a @#$% what other people think. So you're saying changing my name and getting plastic surgery ISN'T one of the options?
     
157. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-03-31 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-03-31 Pub. Date: 2013-03-31
Image Number: 94740
Caption: I feel like a pizza. Not sure what I want on it, though. Long as it got pepperoni, I don't care, dawg. I didn’t say you were getting any of it. Some things is better left unsaid. Are you gonna pay me for half of it? I think you got that backwards, Big L. What? You know how many calories they is in a whole pepperoni pizza? About 2,400. Now say you wanna burn off half them calories. Do you know how much any OTHER personal trainer would charge you for that? You're not getting half my pizza, Clyde. Not eating calories is the same as burning calories. Thug 4 Life.
     
158. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-03-19 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-03-19 Pub. Date: 2013-03-19
Image Number: 94735
Caption: Who is to say that the natural is any more real than the supernatural? My eyes. I believe what I can see, hear and feel. The existence of anything more is delusional conjecture. Oh really, Rosencrantz? You can't see, hear or feel your future … Don't you believe your future exists? You have just made me very, very depressed.
     
159. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-02-11 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-02-11 Pub. Date: 2013-02-11
Image Number: 93310
Caption: (Sigh.)* (Pst.)** *I feel old, Clyde. **So do I. Wild Seed. Thug 4 Life. (Yawn.)** **Every day, we one day closer to the inexorable oblivion of death. (A-hem.)* *I mean I'm growing old waiting for you to pay me back what you owe me. Wild Seed. Thug 4 Life. Tsk.** **Age ain't nothin' but a number, Big L. Wild Seed. Thug 4 Life.
     
160. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-02-07 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-02-07 Pub. Date: 2013-02-07
Image Number: 93051
Caption: This bus is taking forever. Wanna split a cab? I feel like I've been waiting for this bus for ten years. Wanna split a cab? Thug 4 Life. Hey! I'm talkin' to you, Big L. I said, "Want … To … Split … A … Cab?" Why you ain't answering me? By the way, can I borrow $5 to loan you? It's like they forgot this bus stop even exists. Thug 4 Life.
     
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