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Candorville

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121. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-06-02 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-06-02 Pub. Date: 2014-06-02
Image Number: 112087
Caption: That deranged guy in Santa Barbara killed all those people to get revenge on women for not being attracted to him. That makes me feel guilty for ever complaining about being in a girl's "friend zone." It's like "sexual partner" is the default purpose of a woman, and if you end up her friend instead, you must've done something wrong. There's something wrong with you if you think "friend" is a bad word. Wait, which mass shooting you talkin' 'bout? Hard to keep track.
     
122. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-05-17 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-05-17 Pub. Date: 2014-05-17
Image Number: 111234
Caption: I want to buy a house, Susan. I feel like if I don’t own a house, I'm a failure. Like I'm not really part of society. Like I'm just a guest. I feel like I'm a child and the only way I'll ever truly be an adult is to own a house. Plus if I had my own house, I could make the whole floor a trampoline. Dios Mio.
     
123. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-05-09 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-05-09 Pub. Date: 2014-05-09
Image Number: 111021
Caption: I feel the spell about to be broken, Rosencrantz. What? It's been a very good day. Nice breeze, good company. Thank you. That means something bad's about to happen. We must pay for every measure of pleasure with an equal amount of pain. I'm still not letting your thump me on the head with your shoe. Rosencrantz, don't be an idiot. Do you want something even worse to happen?
     
124. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-04-13 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-04-13 Pub. Date: 2014-04-13
Image Number: 109349
Caption: That airplane's been on my mind ever since it went missing. I can't stop thinking about it … all those people and their families. Dr. Noodle. The possibility of losing someone so unexpectedly is just … it's just not right. But then I thought back to how I felt when my uncle died. He was sick for a long time. We all knew it was coming. We all visited him and said everything we wanted to say. We got to say goodbye. ... But the morning he passed ... it still hit us like a ton of bricks. It still was just ... not right. Death is the most unnatural natural thing there is. ... Next to brussels sprouts.
     
125. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-03-30 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-03-30 Pub. Date: 2014-03-30
Image Number: 108533
Caption: NASA found 715 new planets, Clyde. That makes about 1,700. But they can only detect planets that orbit the stars at certain angles relative to Earth. Do you have any idea what that means? That you gon' be talkin' for another twenty, twenty-five minutes? It means that for every planet they've detected, there are 1,000 more they can't detect because of the angle of their orbits. That means there are at least 1,700,000 planets up there that are right in our cosmic back yard. Whatever, dawg. Let's go outside. I can't. All of a sudden I feel like a whole lot of people are watching me. I never shoulda stole you that telescope when we was six.
     
126. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-03-29 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-03-29 Pub. Date: 2014-03-29
Image Number: 109227
Caption: Lemont, how come you don’t ever disagree with me? You've always been 100% supportive of all my ideas, my style, my relationships … Sometimes I feel like your lack of dissent means you don’t care what I say or do. That's stupid. I disagree with you all the time. You're just saying that to make me feel better.
     
127. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-03-26 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-03-26 Pub. Date: 2014-03-26
Image Number: 109224
Caption: We've invaded dozens of sovereign nations. Everywhere from Mexico to Cuba to Iraq. So it IS kinda strange that we're getting so bent out of shape about Russia doing the same thing. No it ain't. Anytime a thug wanna feel like he a good person, all he have to do is condemn some other thug. Wasn't that your thesis statement in kindergarten? It's still relevant.
     
128. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-03-09 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-03-09 Pub. Date: 2014-03-09
Image Number: 107838
Caption: I'm tired of the way you write about me on your blog, Big L. You sensationalize me. You accentuate my most extreme personality traits. You don’t capture the richness, the three-dimensionality of C-Dog. I'm like the URKEL in the story of your life. I didn't know you felt that way, Clyde. I'll stop writing about you. ... Even though my latest poll showed that you're by far the most popular character on the blog. How popular we talkin'? Does it matter?
     
129. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-03-01 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-03-01 Pub. Date: 2014-03-01
Image Number: 107986
Caption: Hello, you've reached the home of Lemont Brown. I can't come to the phone right now because the caller ID says "blocked ID," and I'm annoyed with the fact that you know who I am, but I don’t know who you are. Please leave a message and I'll call you back when I feel like talking to someone who like to have other people at a disadvantage.
     
130. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-02-10 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-02-10 Pub. Date: 2014-02-10
Image Number: 107413
Caption: Clay Aiken runnin' fo' Congress. Can you beleedat? What gonna happen next, Ruben Studdard runnin' for secretary of the fence? I don’t know 'bout you, Big L, but I don’t wanna see Kelly Clarkson givin' a state of reunion address. On second though, may I don't feel like talking politics. Make up your mind.
     
131. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-02-04 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-02-04 Pub. Date: 2014-02-04
Image Number: 106773
Caption: What are your symptoms, Mr. Dogg? Emptiness, hollowness … Lack of appetite … Loss of interest in stuff I used to like … … An jus' today I felt somethin' I ain't never felt before. I actually … well … this is completely confidential, right? Yes. I … I actually cared what someone thought of me. We'll run some tests.
     
132. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-01-31 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-01-31 Pub. Date: 2014-01-31
Image Number: 106770
Caption: I feel sorry for the middle name. What? You've got your last name, which is the revered and responsible eldest child. Then you've got your first name, which is quirky and full of personality. But no one remembers the middle name exists until it plummets into an orgy of self-hatred and robs a bank. You had me ... and then lost me.
     
133. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-12-29 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-12-29 Pub. Date: 2013-12-29
Image Number: 105216
Caption: When I woke up this morning, I felt like a sumo wrestler was holding my whole body down. I posted about it on Facebook, and 17 "friends" "liked" it. The whole experience is making me doubt humanity. No, I know, Susan … You brought me soup and medicine. When if think of "humanity," I don't mean to include you in that. What on earth do you mean by that, Lemont? I'm sick, I don't have to know what I mean by anything. Excuse me, I have something to go "like" on Facebook.
     
134. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-12-22 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-12-22 Pub. Date: 2013-12-22
Image Number: 104853
Caption: Sup, Big L. How your family be doin'? Oh my God … Bus. Clyde … Do you feel any sudden numbness? Maybe some weakness in your face, arm or leg? Especially on one side of your body? Are you having any trouble walking? Huh? What the @#!$ is you talkin' 'bout, Big L? Clyde, you NEVER express any interest in the well-being of others ... So when you asked about my family ... Naturally I assumed you'd had a stroke. I have been feelin' sleepy at night. That a symptom?
     
135. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-12-11 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-12-11 Pub. Date: 2013-12-11
Image Number: 104849
Caption: Yesterday I was joking around with Clyde, and I called his momma a "horse." Right away, I felt guilty. Women are human beings, not barn animals. So my joke was kind of sexist. It's not your fault, Lemont. You can't help it. ALL men are pigs.
     
136. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-12-08 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-12-08 Pub. Date: 2013-12-08
Image Number: 104376
Caption: "Stupid arguments" are the most important. But a parking spot? Dr. Noodle. Yes. She yelled at me for two hours! She felt belittled. If a parking spot is within ten feet of a hydrant, it's not a spot! It's a ticket-trap! She doesn’t understand these things! I parked right across the street, where I was more comfortable. What's wrong with that?! When you told her "that's not a spot," she heard "you're a woman, you don't know what you're talking about. Well tell her to use the English-to-English dictionary, not the English-to-history-of-gender-inequality dictionary.
     
137. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-10-11 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-10-11 Pub. Date: 2013-10-11
Image Number: 102500
Caption: Republicans in the House seem to think if they don’t like somethin', they don’t have to pay the bills. Thug 4 Life. It's just like when my man Wesley Snipes refused to pay his taxes. I think Wesley Snipes should be Speaker of the House. Thank God For Culture Clash. I don't wanna see John Boehner be Blade, though, so I'ma have to deliberate on this some more. I feel dumber for having heard all that.
     
138. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-10-09 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-10-09 Pub. Date: 2013-10-09
Image Number: 102498
Caption: How'd you feel when the government shut down. Excited. Say what? It's different. It's like when there's a big wreck on the freeway. It's awful, it's tragic. But at the same time, it's invigorating because it's out of the ordinary. We feel bad, but we're all secretly excited, because it reminds us we're living on the edge. This, right here, is why I never ask you for a ride.
     
139. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-09-25 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-09-25 Pub. Date: 2013-09-25
Image Number: 101944
Caption: Hi, momma. No, I didn’t know that about cousin Cletus. He calls his mom that many times a day? … No, I didn’t know that. Well maybe that's 'cause his mom doesn’t make him feel guilty by telling him all the great things his cousin does for his mom. … Wait ... What do you mean "there's no reason for Cletus to worry about that. Do Not Lean On Door.
     
140. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-09-17 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-09-17 Pub. Date: 2013-09-17
Image Number: 101655
Caption: Sup?* Sup?** *How are you doing, my friend? **Well … Thug 4 Life. (Yawn)* *Not too good. I'm feeling … Lonely. (Ahem)* *You don’t have to feel lonely. I'm here. (Cough)* *Where's the $2 you own me? (Snort)** **Solitude is underrated.
     
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