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Candorville

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101. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-23 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-23 Pub. Date: 2015-06-23
Image Number: 128672
Caption: Hobbler Day Care. Saul Crusher speaking. Yeah, I'm Lemont Brown. Lionel's dad … Yeah, two-year-old Lionel. He told me you said he was "bad" because he didn't want to go to sleep at nap time. When you tell a kid so early in his life that he's "bad," it affects how he sees himself. I don't pay you $500 per week to ruin my baby boy's self-esteem. When I say "you're a bad caregiver," how does that feel? Imagine if you were only two. Do not lean on door.
     
102. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-19 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-19 Pub. Date: 2015-06-19
Image Number: 128380
Caption: Tyrone, what day is it today? Is it Friday? It feels like a Friday. Spare change. I refuse to answer such a destructive question. Why must we always know the exact year, month, day, hour, minute and second? A person who obsesses over such minutiae becomes acutely aware of the moments of his life slipping away like sand through an hourglass. I refuse to pour the ocean of my life into little cups and then waste all my time counting them. It's ok to just admit when you don't know something.
     
103. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-05 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-05 Pub. Date: 2015-06-05
Image Number: 127779
Caption: I've been feeling kind of isolated lately. Dr. Noodle. It's like the more Facebook friends I get, the fewer real friends I have. I'm starting to feel like people who don’t really know me know me better than people who know me well. Does that make sense? Mind if I write a paper about you? Ph.D. (This cartoon was originally published on 2013-05-24).
     
104. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-03 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-03 Pub. Date: 2015-06-03
Image Number: 127777
Caption: Don’t feel bad. It's normal to have these feelings. It doesn’t make you a bad parent as long as you don’t ACT on them. Dr. Noodle. I's normal to resent my own child for refusing to go to sleep till 4 A.M. every single day? Ph.D. Yes. Parents need some time to unwind at the end of the day. It's normal to imagine myself waiting till he does fall asleep, and then blowing a trumpet in his ear? Still normal. Ph. D. (This cartoon was originally published on 2013-05-22).
     
105. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-05-19 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-05-19 Pub. Date: 2015-05-19
Image Number: 127172
Caption: All week, I've been thinking about the people who got hurt in that train crash. Of course. You ride the train all the time. It's natural to feel fear when you realize it could just as easily have been your train. Times like this make it hard to ignore that your very next trip home may lead to you never seeing your child again. M.A. It's not about me. It's about them It's about identifying with them. Empathy is the most selfish emotion there is.
     
106. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-05-02 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-05-02 Pub. Date: 2015-05-02
Image Number: 126135
Caption: OK, I have to admit, that was a really good film. What was your favorite part? Avengers. My favorite part was seeing Elizabeth Olsen play the Scarlet Witch. I remember when she was the baby on "Full House." So not only did I get to feel incredibly old, I also got to be distracted by the image of "Uncle Jessie" singing to her that kept running through my head. She wasn't on "Full House." Those were her older twin sisters. Avengers. Well then they should've put "she wasn't on' Full House'" on the posters.
     
107. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-05-01 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-05-01 Pub. Date: 2015-05-01
Image Number: 126134
Caption: Hey Lemont, feel like catching the "Avengers" movie later today? … Yeah, I'll get the popcorn. … Sure, I'll be fine with seeing it in 3-D. … Yeah, I promise not to heckle the movie. … No, I won't be embarrassed if you dress up as Captain America. … What the -- It's dark in there. How would you even know if I roll my eyes when they win against all odds? (Sigh) ok, I promise.
     
108. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-04-19 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-04-19 Pub. Date: 2015-04-19
Image Number: 125204
Caption: Nobody's proper anymore. Dr. Noodle. What ever happened to the good old days, when gentlemen were gentlemen? Men never spit in public. Men never had tattoos unless they were pirates. And ladies were ladies. You never would've caught Queen Victoria twerking on Instagram. Sometimes I feel like I was born 150 years too late. That's a common affliction. "Guy-who-would-never-have-been-a-slave-150-years-ago-itis." There are 30 million slaved today, y'know.
     
109. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-04-17 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-04-17 Pub. Date: 2015-04-17
Image Number: 125566
Caption: Heavenly Father, should I preside over a gay wedding even if it means half my congregation will quit in protest? Should I lead my flock to the right side of history … Reverend of the Year 2000 … Even if the sheep that put the most in the collection plate feel cozy on the wrong side? Give me a sign, Heavenly Father ... So you're saying I should ponder on this a few more years.
     
110. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-04-08 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-04-08 Pub. Date: 2015-04-08
Image Number: 125200
Caption: No, Lemont, I'm not going to tell you how much I earn. But why not? We're friends. I'll tell you how much I earn. It's not the same thing, Lemont. Why? Because you earn more than I do? Susan, why would you be worried about that? I wouldn't get all jealous or insecure about it or anything. How much money someone has says nothing about them. I'm glad you feel that way. How much nothing are we talking about?
     
111. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-03-11 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-03-11 Pub. Date: 2015-03-11
Image Number: 123670
Caption: It's not just women who are attracted to "bad boys." Guys are attracted to bad girls, too. Some guys always pass up the women who adore them and end up with women who berate them … or who lie, cheat and forget to mention they have husbands. There's nothing like being emotionally beaten to death to make you feel alive ... Er, I assume. I wouldn't really know.
     
112. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-03-03 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-03-03 Pub. Date: 2015-03-03
Image Number: 123663
Caption: Who is to say that the natural is any more real than the supernatural? My eyes. I believe what I can see, hear and feel. The existence of anything more is delusional conjecture. Oh really, Rosencrantz? You can't see, hear or feel your future … Don't you believe your future exists? You have just made me very, very depressed. (This cartoon was originally published on 2013-03-19).
     
113. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-02-17 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-02-17 Pub. Date: 2015-02-17
Image Number: 123052
Caption: The Koch Brothers are filthy rich billionaires. They plan on spending $1 billion on the upcoming elections. I can't even afford to buy a new car, let alone a new Congress. It all makes me feel so hopeless. But then I think back to the Middle Ages. Sure there was Feudalism. But there was also jousting, and damsels, and knights. So Feudalism's not all bad. Plus, modern Feudalism is almost 92% guaranteed to not include the plague. PhD. Well, there's that.
     
114. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-01-30 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-01-30 Pub. Date: 2015-01-30
Image Number: 121965
Caption: Every single-parent feels this way, Lemont. When you look at your baby, you know everything he will one day be ultimately depends on you, and you alone. And every time someone else watches him, they're doing you a favor. Do you feel pathetic. I was going to say I felt very grateful. Oh. Never mind, then.
     
115. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-01-28 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-01-28 Pub. Date: 2015-01-28
Image Number: 121963
Caption: The internet says our relationship needs more communication. Tell me exactly what I can do that'll make you happy … And I'll tell you exactly what you can do that will make me feel happy. It'd make me happy if you would meet my parents. There go that noise again.
     
116. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-01-13 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-01-13 Pub. Date: 2015-01-13
Image Number: 121385
Caption: Too many women feel entitled. I blame every man who calls his little girl a "princess." I told MY daughter "You ain't no princess! Take off that @#%$ tiara! Ain't nobody gonna 'take care of you' but YOU." Now that's "real talk." A lot of men feel "entitled," too. Not MY son. Made him pay me room an' board ever since he was three. Two packs of bubble gum, due first of every month.
     
117. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-12-06 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-12-06 Pub. Date: 2014-12-06
Image Number: 119646
Caption: I feel like a burrito right now, Clyde. You can't have no burrito, Big L. You a single dad raisin' a two-year-old baby. What'll happen to him if you drop dead of a heart attack? Parents who don’t take care of theyselves an' don’t watch they carbs an minerals an' such is selfish. Whatever. Give me back my burrito, Clyde. Somebody gotta look out for the children.
     
118. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-11-22 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-11-22 Pub. Date: 2014-11-22
Image Number: 118797
Caption: Hello, wrong number, you've reached the home of Lemont Brown. Yes, I am absolutely sure I'm not the person you're trying to call. Feel free to call back a third time just in case I've realized I actually AM the person I'm not. Beep.
     
119. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-11-09 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-11-09 Pub. Date: 2014-11-09
Image Number: 118031
Caption: What brings you to therapy? I feel like everyone's out to get me, because I'm the top dog. I'm the Tony Soprano. The Gus Fring. The Nino Brown. The other day, Thanksgiving, Halloween and Groundhog Day ate pasta e fagioli in a private booth at Whole Foods. They were conspiring to knock me off! My own lieutenants betrayed me after all I've done for them! I have eyes everywhere! Don't they know this? I'll just check the box next to "paranoid delusions." Those traitors are about to find out "coal" is just a euphemism.
     
120. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-10-31 feel 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-10-31 Pub. Date: 2014-10-31
Image Number: 118205
Caption: Why won't you tell Susan the real reason you ain't want her at that comic convention. You know she gonna dress up like Wonder Woman, and you don’t want no other bruthas starin' at her or tryin' to grope her. You got a White Knight Complex, Big L. You'd feel the need to stare down any man you thought was disrespecting her. But you also fight like a toddler, so you know you'd get pantsed right in front of her. You don't know anything.
     
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