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Candorville

Comics about being faster .

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Result page:     (15 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-22 faster 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-22 Pub. Date: 2018-07-22
Image Number: 172923
Caption: Dear "Critic," I read your article about how Star Trek gets its own impulse drive all wrong. You said that even though Star Trek SAYS it's not faster than light, it HAS to be, because of all the times they said they had to leave the star system before jumping to warp speed. Sigh ... not again ... Impulse drive is not faster than light!!! you're a two-dimensional thinker. Has it occurred to you they could leave a star system by flying UP, out of the ecliptic plane? Moron!!! Dear reader, light passing Jupiter would take 250 minutes to reach Neptune. But in the season finale of Star Trek: Discovery, they start a conversation as they're passing Jupiter, end it ten seconds later as they're passing Neptune ... Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap t - ... at which point the captain says Have we left the Sol system? The navigator says yes, and the captain says Take us to warp ... I rest my case. I was wrong. I was wrong. Just once let someone restore my faith in humanity by just admitting they were wrong. Discovery isn't REAL Star Trek.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-03 faster 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-03 Pub. Date: 2018-06-03
Image Number: 171757
Caption: What's wrong wit' you, Big L? Nothing makes sense anymore. In Star Trek, they almost never jump warp speed until they've left a star system. It takes light from the sun about eight minutes to reach earth. It takes 5.3 hours for that same sunlight to reach Pluto. And yet, it only takes the Enterprise one minute or so to leave a star system. Don't you see ... Every time they use their impulse drive to leave a star system they're still traveling faster than light. But they're not yet warping space. That means they should be affected by time dilation. For every second that passes for them, weeks or months should pass back on earth. Just like e'ry second of this conversation for you be like months for me. Exactly! Even you can understand that!
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-17 faster 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-17 Pub. Date: 2018-02-17
Image Number: 168418
Caption: I realized this morning I'm not nineteen anymore, Susan. I was riding my bike faster than I had in years. I was flying! Pedaling hard and strong. I'd just hit warp speed … when an actual nineteen-year-old zoomed past me going twice as fast. He wasn't even breaking a sweat. I'm sure he was working hard too, Lemont. He was sipping a Slurpee and dribbling a basketball.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-31 faster 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-31 Pub. Date: 2018-01-31
Image Number: 167919
Caption: Do you have the time? Time? Time? Do you know the so-called experts say there's no such thing? First they said it was 3pm on the east coast when it's noon here. Then they said if you move faster, time moves slower. Then they said now for us might be a million years in the past for someone in another galaxy. It's ok to say I don't know what time it is. If Einstein doesn't have to make up his mind about what time it is, neither do I? Canada or bust!
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-16 faster 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-16 Pub. Date: 2017-08-16
Image Number: 161533
Caption: You know what? If we ever create faster-than-light travel, we can prove whether Jesus existed. We found a planet orbiting a star in the Cygnus constellation 2,000 light years away. That means if we were there right now, we could peer back at earth through a super-powerful telescope and see events that happened 2,000 years ago. If Jesus were real, we could see him going about his business: performing miracles ... coming back from the dead ... picking his nose ... He never would've done that, Lemont. You know how much dust there is in the Middle East?
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-12 faster 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-12 Pub. Date: 2017-03-12
Image Number: 154859
Caption: What's wrong, Lemont? I think I'm done watching "The Flash." You know, the superhero who can run faster than a bullet. I just saw the episode where he has to fight someone who could teleport. But she could only teleport if she could see where she was going. After the Flash figured that out, he did all these things to limit her field of vision. He ran all around knocking out street lights, for instance. He did all sorts of things to make sure she couldn't see. All sorts of things ... except putting a bag over the villain's head. Well that would've been a pretty short episode. I'd rather have five minutes of brilliance than 45 minutes of not putting a bag over the villain's head.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-24 faster 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-24 Pub. Date: 2016-04-24
Image Number: 141854
Caption: What's wrong wit' you, Big L? Nothing makes sense anymore. In Star Trek, they almost never jump to warp speed until they've left a star system. It takes light from the sun about eight minutes to reach earth. It takes 5.3 hours for that same sunlight to reach Pluto. And yet, it only takes the Enterprise one minute or so to leave a star system. Don't you see ... every time they use their impulse drive to leave a star system, they're still traveling faster than light. But they're not yet warping space. That means they should be affected by time dilation. For every second that passes for them, weeks or months should pass back on earth. Just like e'ry second of this conversation for you be like months for me. Exactly! Even you can understand that!
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-01-04 faster 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-01-04 Pub. Date: 2016-01-04
Image Number: 137375
Caption: 1982. Mrs. Desilettes sent us up to the board two at a time to see who could divide faster. Did you win? I put down the chalk and told her "I refuse to participate in your divisive attempt to pit children against one another.? Dios mio. I told her this was how the arms race started. (This cartoon was originally published on 2012-05-17).
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-09-03 faster 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-09-03 Pub. Date: 2015-09-03
Image Number: 131901
Caption: I feel like when I was a kid, there was a lot more life out there. More butterflies. More lizards. More roly-poly bugs. Yeah. Same here. I always thought that was because the older I get, the less attention I pay to stuff like that. But then I read that we've finally gone ahead and caused the world's sixth great extinction event. Species are dying off 10,000 times faster than normal now. That's great news! It means the vanishing of butterflies isn't just me being self-absorbed.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-07-10 faster 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-07-10 Pub. Date: 2015-07-10
Image Number: 129285
Caption: I've known you were brilliant from the moment I met you, son. I bwilliant fwumma moment you met me. You've always done everything at least a year before you're supposed to. I alwayth done evwything a peath a yeaw befowe I thpth too. Watching you develop is like watching a computer boot up much faster than it ordinarily would. You lotht me on that one.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-03-08 faster 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-03-08 Pub. Date: 2015-03-08
Image Number: 123395
Caption: What's wrong, Lemont? I think I'm done watching "The Flash." You know, the superhero who can run faster than a bullet. I just saw the episode where he had to fight someone who could teleport. But she could only teleport if she could see where she's going. After the flash figured that out, he did all these things to limit her field of vision. He ran all around knocking out street lights, for instance. He did all sorts of things to make sure she couldn't see. All sorts of things ... except putting a bag over the villain's head. Well that would've been a pretty short episode. I'd rather have five minutes of brilliance than 45 minutes of not putting a bag over the villain's head.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-09-07 faster 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-09-07 Pub. Date: 2014-09-07
Image Number: 115372
Caption: I taught Lionel how to call 911. WHAT?! What that little two-year-old boy ever done to you, Big L? Huh? Cops be outta control, bruh. If there a emergency an' he call 911, there a 50/50 chance the police'll help … an' a 50/50 chance they gonna knock down the door without a warrant, toss in a flashbang grenade, an' pepper spray your toddler before draggin' his dad out in the hallway half naked. What is you thinkin' Big L? He's be better off if you teach him to call Domino's. Well, they would probably get there faster.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-08-14 faster 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-08-14 Pub. Date: 2013-08-14
Image Number: 100291
Caption: Breaking news: The Boston Globe has been sold for $70 million. In more breaking news, The Washington Post has just been sold for $250 million. These sale prices are nowhere near the $1.1 billion a paper like the Globe pulled in just two decades ago. Why is that, Chuck? Well for one thing, "Breaking news" is reported much faster online than in print. Breaking news: a future king has just been born in Britain!
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-05-17 faster 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-05-17 Pub. Date: 2012-05-17
Image Number: 80978
Caption: 1982. Mrs. Desilettes sent us up to the board two at a time to see who could divide faster. Did you win? I put down the chalk and told her "I refuse to participate in your divisive attempt to pit children against one another.? Dios mio. I told her this was how the arms race started.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2005-04-13 faster 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2005-04-13 Pub. Date: 2005-04-13
Image Number: 10179
Caption: What the heck are you doing, Lemont? I'm fighting baldness, Susan…..
     
Result page:     (15 images)