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Candorville

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Result page:    2  Next  (26 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-19 fame 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-19 Pub. Date: 2019-03-19
Image Number: 176836
Caption: I'm tired of being an alt-right internet superstar. It's way too much work now that I've got 48,000 subscribers to my Youtube channel. Since when do you have 48,000 subscribers? Since my debut video detailed how indigenous people from Foreignvania faked the moon landing by using teddy bears and special effects. I developed a unique following that's part racist, part conspiracy-enthusiast, part Photoshop user, and part Care Bear fanatic. Yeah ... I'm tired just listening to that. It's getting tough to craft stories that keep them ALL entertained.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-15 fame 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-15 Pub. Date: 2018-06-15
Image Number: 172216
Caption: I got a tip about a huge geological calamity that's about to happen across the bridge. This story could make my site famous. Could you watch my boy while I go cover it? 'Course, bruh. For $4,000. Cool … what? I been reading Trump's Art of the Deal. It say if a brotha want something bad enough, charge him fifty times your usual fee. Are you sure that's in there? I demand to know what page. Ok. How much that information worth to you?
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-05 fame 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-05 Pub. Date: 2017-10-05
Image Number: 163373
Caption: Lemont, you run the seventh most popular news and opinion site online. Why don't you start a Youtube show too? It would be huge. No thanks. I've got principles. It's wrong to crave fame and celebrity. I'm not that full of myself. (Sigh) … Is this about how you're scared to death of public speaking? I'm not "scared to death." I'm principled to death.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-09-10 fame 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-09-10 Pub. Date: 2014-09-10
Image Number: 116185
Caption: If the celebrities didn’t want the world to see their naked pictures, they shouldn’t have taken naked pictures. That's ridiculous. That's like saying if you don’t want your money stolen, you shouldn’t have put your money in your wallet. That's a dumb analogy. What I do with my own money is nobody's business. But what women do with their bodies IS? I'm glad we can agree on something.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-09-09 fame 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-09-09 Pub. Date: 2014-09-09
Image Number: 116184
Caption: Turns out all them celebrities' nekkit photos got hacked 'cause they used weak passwords an' security questions. They public figures. I bet some of they answers was stuff anyone could Google. For instance … … Anyone who Google YOU know YOUR favorite color be "hot pink," Big L. SHAMROCK GREEN, not "hot pink." Noted. ... I mean "oh."
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-09-08 fame 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-09-08 Pub. Date: 2014-09-08
Image Number: 116183
Caption: You ask me, all them stars that got they nekkit pictures hacked did it on purpose. Exhibit A: When's the last time MILLIONS of bruthas was frantically Googling any of these people? Exhibit B: Ain't none of them pictures all that scandalous noway. CLYDE! You didn't try to see any of that, did you? (A) I would never, and (B) it all got deleted too fast.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-08-20 fame 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-08-20 Pub. Date: 2014-08-20
Image Number: 115241
Caption: Robin Williams visits Lemont's dream. Stars die all the time, just like the rest of us. But this one hurts more than usual. I think it's because you, more than any other star, made ME feel BIG. There was always a sadness behind your eyes. And whenever I saw you explode with life despite that, it was like you were fighting sadness and conquering it, and that made me feel like "THIS is what it means to be human." To be honest, sometimes that was just what it meant to earn a living. Hey, don't stop being my metaphor.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-08-19 fame 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-08-19 Pub. Date: 2014-08-19
Image Number: 115240
Caption: Robin Williams visits Lemont's dream. Christopher Reeve. Christopher Reeve? Andy Kaufman. John Belushi. Chris Reeve. My friends. When they died, I had to try to grieve privately for public figures. That was a whole different game. They were so much more than what most people were going to miss them about. So ... bad time to ask you to say "na-nu na-nu"? Never a bad time to ask for words that make you smile, chief.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-11-05 fame 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-11-05 Pub. Date: 2013-11-05
Image Number: 103506
Caption: twitter. @TheRealMissPiggy. MISS PIGGY: Ugh … I'll just say that anyone who posts racy photos of themselves online is a no-talent attention-smurf. Twitter @TheRealSmurfette. SMURFETTE: Christmas musta come early cuz Smurfette's 'bout to tear into some ham, ya'll. This is getting good, grampa. Don't make grampa have to turn off the internet.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-08-06 fame 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-08-06 Pub. Date: 2012-08-06
Image Number: 85359
Caption: I don’t see why Janet Jackson upset about her niece bein' in a movie. Maybe she thinks Michael Jackson's daughter should have a normal childhood … Thug 4 Life. … Instead of having random guys at bus stops talking about her. Thug 4 Life. That's paranoid. What's the odds of that happening? Thug 4 Life.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-02-25 fame 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-02-25 Pub. Date: 2012-02-25
Image Number: 76742
Caption: Have you ever thought that in the hundreds and thousands of years man has been here … We've only heard the best singers of the last 100 or so? For all we know, there was an ancient Mesopotamian donkey-herder whose voice could make the angels weep. But we'll never, ever hear her because time screwed her out of a recording contract. I don't think they "herded" donkeys. No, I googled it. Donkeys were all ever ancient Mesopotamia.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-02-24 fame 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-02-24 Pub. Date: 2012-02-24
Image Number: 76741
Caption: Don't you wish you could've gone out on top? Don't you wish you could've had a huge comeback before the end? My family and friends never stopped surrounding me with love. I'd say that means I did go out on top. And I'm about to have the biggest comeback there is. I was thinking more like something I could download on my iPod.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-02-23 fame 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-02-23 Pub. Date: 2012-02-23
Image Number: 76740
Caption: It's ok. You can use my struggle and my death as a teachable moment. You're only talking about your image of me, not the real me. You may have had a poster of me on your wall, but … you weren't with me to see me mature and see how truly blessed I felt. My songs may have connected with you deep in your soul, but ... you don't know me. I was actually more of a Prince fan. Not. At all. My point.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-02-13 fame 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-02-13 Pub. Date: 2012-02-13
Image Number: 76403
Caption: You look happy. I scored a major interview for my blog. A really important person. In my time at the Chronicle, I must have become a bigger name than I thought. Or maybe they think you still work for the paper. Nah. Did you tell them this was for the paper or your blog? Why bother important people with unimportant details?
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-10-16 fame 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-10-16 Pub. Date: 2011-10-16
Image Number: 66180
Caption: Dr. Noodle. Nobody talks about me anymore. I'm a has-been. A nobody. Like you. No offense, buddy. None taken. None of the big stores is even mentioning me. Mr. Claus ... you do know it's October, right? Don't rub it in, pal. In the nineties, when things were going great, stores would be all up in my business, talking about me as early as Labor Day. It's tough to cope with the loss of celebrity. But with a lot of hard work, you can avoid the usual downward spiral of booze, womanizing and rehab. Focus on bettering yourself. Shed your anger. Learn yoga. Lose weight. How'd you like a lifetime supply of coal, buddy?
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-12-09 fame 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-12-09 Pub. Date: 2010-12-09
Image Number: 55013
Caption: Facebook. Messages. From Sasha Mitchell. Lemont … I was sitting at home on my couch channel-surfing and got bored, so I just left the TV on some channel I'd never watched before and went back to reading my book. … Then I heard a voice. It was so familiar ... It reminded me of when I used to lie on your bed in the dorms and watched you write, and listen to you talk about how someday you'd be a famous writer. At first I thought the voice was in my head. But then I looked up and saw YOU n TV. You were talking about being a successful, important writer. I was so PROUD, Lemont! I started jumping up and down and screaming "HE DID IT! HE DID IT!" I write for a newspaper. Tap tap tap tap tap. Don't spoil the mood.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-07-09 fame 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-07-09 Pub. Date: 2010-07-09
Image Number: 49259
Caption: You thought 2,000 people were coming to hear you speak, but it turns out they're all coming to hear Stephen King. They like you so much they think you're worthy of appearing on the same panel discussion as Stephen King! To the audience, you're just "the other guy" who'll be taking up some of King's speaking time. ... He's got a point.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-05-01 fame 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-05-01 Pub. Date: 2010-05-01
Image Number: 46758
Caption: Dear Lemont Brown, We at Save-Them-Childrens often ask celebrities to participate in fundraising ads. You are a well-known blogger for a major newspaper. Can you tell us if the paper's interviewed any celebrities we could approach? No respect AT ALL. Please pass this note on to the real reporters.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-09-06 fame 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-09-06 Pub. Date: 2009-09-06
Image Number: 38003
Caption: VH1 presents Where are They Now? The Some People Story. It was the mid-2000's. Politicians across the country relied on him. There wasn't a press conference around that didn't broadcast his beaming smile. I sound wise compared to him. And for one brief fearmongering season, the strawman called "some people" was at the top of his game. I've forgotten 9-11. I want to hug terrorists. But as often happens in the cutthroat false argument business, his star began to dim. I want to take your guns. Yawn. And it sent him on a downward spiral. He came into the bar already drunk, talkin' 'bout nobody's scared of him no more and no one takes 'im seriously. Bartender. ... an' I was like "bruh, you're bringin' down the whole room." Very bad tipper, too. But then, in his darkest hour, some people makes a surprising comeback. AFTER THESE MESSAGES...
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-11-16 fame 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-11-16 Pub. Date: 2008-11-16
Image Number: 28016
Caption: VH1 presents: Where are they now? The Ozzy-the-Undecided-Voter Story. The time was October, 2008. Journalists across the country yearned for him. There wasn't a television show around that didn't broadcast his beaming smile. And for one brief electoral season, Ozzy-the-Undecided-Voter was at the top of his game. Mainstream media. Which one is Obama again? But as sometimes happens in the dog-eat-dog ignoramus industry, his star dimmed like a light bulb over a moron's head. Guess who I voted for? Yawn. And it sent him on a downward spiral. Anonymous Friend. After the election, he started hangin' around the wrong crowd. People who read an' pay attention. He started recognizin' the difference between such things as ketchup an' mustard. I was shocked, an' I was like "What the @#$% did you do with the real Ozzy? Next up, Ozzy hits rock bottom...
     
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