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Candorville

Comics about being false .

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Result page:    2  Next  (35 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-10-27 false 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-10-27 Pub. Date: 2019-10-27
Image Number: 180026
Caption: $12 for bottled water?! Haven't you been watching the news? American's aging pipes are leaching chemicals into the water that cause horrific illnesses. The entire city of Flint was poisoned by led, leading to developmental damage in children and probably causing an outbreak of Legionnaires' Disease. All bottled water is tested for lead. But ours is special. It's guaranteed to be 100% free of certain other chemicals too. Out bottled water is also 100% free of adamantium, NTH metal, vibranium, kryptonite and dilithium. No other bottled water on the market makes that claim. Just give me coffee. Regular or guaranteed aniumanium-free? Very bad man.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-10-02 false 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-10-02 Pub. Date: 2019-10-02
Image Number: 179727
Caption: I saw your free wi-fi sign. Yes, it's free for customers. False advertising! If I have to BUY something, it's not free! Ok. The password is buysomethingorgetout. Is that uppercase or lower?
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-09-18 false 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-09-18 Pub. Date: 2019-09-18
Image Number: 179500
Caption: Mr. Fitzhugh, I'm not happy about the change you made to my Slim-Swift ad. It's deceptive. Nonsense. Yayle. CEO of the Year 2002. Slim-Swift has not been proven to cause any weight loss at all. And? You write Lose ten pounds in five seconds. Cash is surprisingly heavy, Garcia.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-28 false 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-28 Pub. Date: 2019-07-28
Image Number: 178668
Caption: You got some money I could hold right quick? My boy Tashif Sheefy McFly Turner got arrested in Detroit, bruh. I don't know, Clyde … What'd they arrest this guy for? He was painting a mural the city hired him to paint. Naturally, the cops arrested him for vandalism. A city official came down an' told the cops what was up. So all of a sudden they arrested him for somethin' else: resisting, obstructing ... havin' a outstanding traffic ticket ... Geez ... All right, I just sent you money. I think it's great you want to bail him out. Boop boop. Bail who out? He been got out weeks ago. Thanks for the money, though, Big L. Give me back my money!
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-28 false 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-28 Pub. Date: 2019-04-28
Image Number: 177382
Caption: I'll have the special. One Cat Fur Mocha, coming up. Not today's special. I can't through here back on April 9th, 2011. You had a really delicious special that day. I want that one. I can't do that, sir. Of course you can. I mean, you don't look like the kind of guy who'd like to be hit with a bait and switch lawsuit. Your sign out front says Get the special for only $8.95! It doesn't say get today's special. Get out.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-28 false 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-28 Pub. Date: 2019-03-28
Image Number: 176942
Caption: Your article about the electoral college was riddled with inaccuracies. You mean my humor column? The electoral college not a for-profit, fake real estate training program started by James and Ivanka Madison to defraud people out of their life savings. It was a joke. And Hollywood actors and rich CEOs did not bribe people to get their spoiled kids into the electoral college. It was a joke. (Sigh) People always get extra-literal when their worldview is challenged. We're talking about my view of the electoral college, not of the world.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-17 false 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-17 Pub. Date: 2019-03-17
Image Number: 176613
Caption: Dear journalist, I am offended by your biased hit-piece condemning so-called Fake News. You wrote … some of these sites main sources seem to be their rear ends. Who are YOU to say what's fake and what's real? I don't know that your sources are any more real than my rear end. I know my rear end. I trust my rear end. you, one the other hand, are a total stranger to me. There's an old saying, doofus: Trust is in the eye of the beholder. That's actually Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Oh, I suppose one of your sources told you that? Sad! Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-05 false 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-05 Pub. Date: 2018-12-05
Image Number: 175264
Caption: We forgot something at the Thanksgiving party the other week. Whachoo-mean? We forgot to not have one. It celebrates a false creation myth that we tell ourselves so we can forget that what really happened was a massive genocide. This is why we never let you say the toast, Lemont. There shouldn't have been a toast. I guess it a coincidence you only sayin' all this after you finally run out of leftovers.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-29 false 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-29 Pub. Date: 2018-10-29
Image Number: 174715
Caption: This is child protective services, how may we hinder you? Hi, I had my son strapped to my back while I was working. I was reporting on how early voting was going. We were on a bus with a bunch of elderly black people who were on their way to vote, and they were all ordered to get off. I interviewed county officials about why they did that. Explain to me how that's child endangerment! The child was in danger of losing faith in his system of government. Give me back my son!!
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-04 false 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-04 Pub. Date: 2018-01-04
Image Number: 166782
Caption: I have chosen thee as my vessel, Clyde, through whom I will issue these New Commandments. This list was voted upon by a nationwide Survey-Baboon poll of white Evangelicals. Commandment Eleven: Bearing false witness is ok if it helpeth the faithful achieve their political goals. I'm gonna need to see some I.D., bruh. Commandment Twelve: The sins described in Commandments 1-10, if committed by a political ally, are fake news.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-02 false 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-02 Pub. Date: 2017-12-02
Image Number: 165422
Caption: There's a lot of bad news. It's making me a little depressed. C-Dogs Incredibly Bad Advice $2. That one easy, bruh. Ere'time you hear news you don't like, call it "fake." They say someone you like did wrong? Must be fake. They say your car cause pollution? Must be fake. They say you got cancer. Fake fake fake. The ancient Buddhists say reality all in our heads, or some spit like that there. I'll give it a try.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-09 false 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-09 Pub. Date: 2017-07-09
Image Number: 159502
Caption: It's hard to debunk the whole "fake news" thing when so-called "journalists" keep lying, or keep not correcting their "mistakes" take Joy-Ann Reid, for instance. Who she? She has a show on MSNBC. The other week, after that former Bernie-supporter shot at those congressmen ... somebody tweeted "too soon to mention Bernie owes his entire political career to the NRA? Particularly his support of assault rifles his R opponent decried?" "Journalist" Joy-Ann Reid retweeted that, adding "I hope we have the maturity as a country to confront facts like this at the same time we're thinking of victims and keeping level heads." But it wasn't a fact. Sanders opposed assault rifles. The NRA backed him in that one race to punish the Republican who'd just changed his position on assault rifles. A Vermont gun store owner said at the time, "At least [Bernie's] consistent" with his opposition to semi-automatic rifles. A simple Google search would've told her that, apparently Joy-Ann Reid doesn't even Joy-Ann read. This whole thing was so you could say that joke, wasn't it.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-04 false 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-04 Pub. Date: 2017-06-04
Image Number: 158134
Caption: I've never been in here before. What's your best drink? That'd be the Gambler's Mocha. Sounds interesting. What's in it? Oh … a little of this, a little of that. For all you know, it's a smooth blend of hand-mixed Amedei Porcelana dark chocolate from Tuscany ... and Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee beans, hand-picked by sherpas 5,000 feet above sea level precisely at sunset ... topped with a light whip of frozen Arctic sea foam, and black diamond cream from Dubai ... for all you know ... Or it could be day-old sludge made with tap water from Flint? I thought you said you'd never been here before. Siri, where's the nearest Starbucks?
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-16 false 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-16 Pub. Date: 2017-03-16
Image Number: 155655
Caption: Everything's good. I'm happy doctor. Dr. Noodle. Excellent! That's great news! As long as your happiness is genuine. As long as its not actually denial. Or as long as it doesn't cause you to become complacent. Nope. Genuine happiness over here. Let's schedule an extra sessions so we can find out if that's the case. M.A.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-24 false 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-24 Pub. Date: 2017-02-24
Image Number: 154805
Caption: Lemont? Where've you been all day? I was waiting for you at lunch and you never showed up. I couldn't. After I dropped Lionel off at day care, everything went wrong. Someone had snatched my wallet, so I had to walk 20 blocks to get home. But my keys were missing, so I tried to climb in the fire escape. That's when I got arrested. Didn't they give you one phone call? I used it to call a lawyer. Forgive me for being so selfish. I waited a whole hour, Lemont.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-02 false 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-02 Pub. Date: 2017-02-02
Image Number: 153974
Caption: Dick, I just got an angry call from Mr. Trump. He said I blew off the meeting. Didn't I tell you to reschedule the meeting for next week? If you're responsible for us losing a multi-million dollar account, Dick, you're … I'm not, ma'am. You told me not to reschedule the meeting. In alternate fact, you told me to take the afternoon off instead of making that call. "Alternate fact" is not actually a thing, Dick Fink. It's not my fault you don't watch the news, ma'am.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-14 false 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-14 Pub. Date: 2016-03-14
Image Number: 140509
Caption: I was supposed to be covering a horrible story in Uganda. But then a horrible story broke in the Ukraine. So I changed my ticket to the Ukraine and booked a room at the Motel Sixky. Turns out there is no "Motel Sixky." It was a fake website run by identity thieves. Look on the bright side: Now you got a horrible story to cover right in your house. True.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-16 false 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-16 Pub. Date: 2015-06-16
Image Number: 128377
Caption: I just read yet another article about teenage girls running away to join ISIS. It turns out that when ISIS advertises for new recruits on social media, they forget to mention the part about how they sell girls into slavery for as little as a pack of cigarettes. If the world can't beat them on the battlefield, maybe we can get them on false advertising. We got Al Capone on tax evasion, you know.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-05-22 false 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-05-22 Pub. Date: 2015-05-22
Image Number: 127175
Caption: I'm sorry, Clyde. Whachoo talkin' 'bout? Yesterday I accused you of stealing my wallet, ordering $800 worth of junk from Amazon, and lying about it. I cussed at you, threw a drink in your face, and called your momma a Sasquatch. Turns out it was my baby boy who took my wallet and went on Amazon. I'm so proud of him! He's only two and he already knows how to order 57 bags of rabbit food. Oh, oh, oh. So when he take yo' wallet, it's cute. When I take it, it's "grand larceny."
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-01-07 false 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-01-07 Pub. Date: 2015-01-07
Image Number: 121078
Caption: We're several different people, Clyde. Say what? When I was a kid, I hated wheat bread. When I was a teen, I hated jazz. When I was 25, I hated "Star Trek: Enterprise." Now I love all that stuff. I'm not the same person I was 30, 20 or even 10 years ago. You need me to get you a new ID? I know a guy.
     
Result page:    2  Next  (35 images)