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Candorville
Comics about expensing and expenses.
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Result page:   1  2  3  Next  (46 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell Candorville 2019-09-22 expense 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-09-22 Pub. Date: 2019-09-22
Image Number: 179497
Caption: Coffee. Black. That'll be $48.95. What? But only because we're having a Bulgarian Independence Day special. How's $48.95 a special? It's a steal, considering the costs. I use only the finest black cephalopod ink, hand-squeezed by Gunther, the Albanian squid-wrangler. They have squids in Albania? And then there's the coffee cup. Special cup, coated with the blackest material on earth: Vantablack, stolen -- I mean sourced from UK-based Surrey Nanosystems. This might actually be worth the $48.95. The coffee brown, on the other hand, is only 85 cents.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell Candorville 2017-07-17 expense 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-17 Pub. Date: 2017-07-17
Image Number: 160501
Caption: Would you like the good news or the bad. Bad. Ok. That "Vancouver" chick you're so in love with is cheating on you. Omigod … What's the good news? Since you don't have health insurance, the hospital says the albatrossectomy cost you $15,000. $15,000?! That's the good news?! Did I forget to say "relatively"? Dios mio.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell Candorville 2017-04-26 expense 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-26 Pub. Date: 2017-04-26
Image Number: 157286
Caption: Tell me again why you ain't gone to the doctor 'bout your heart, Big L? I lost my health insurance. I've saved all my life for a down payment on a house, so I'll have something to leave to my son. If I go to the hospital, I'll probably lose it all and he'll inherit nothing. But I have life insurance, so if I die, he'll inherit my savings and $2 million. This country be messed up, bruh. I've recorded 18 years' worth of advice and dad-jokes for him.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell Candorville 2017-04-25 expense 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-25 Pub. Date: 2017-04-25
Image Number: 157285
Caption: Susan called 911 on me, Clyde. She was trying to get them to come take me in for a heart attack she thought I was having. But they put her on hold. And after a while, she sort of fell asleep and I sort of snuck away. Whachoomean "sort of," Big L? Ain't no such thing as "sort of." Somethin' either be or be not, bruh. One ambulance ride and one day in the hospital would eat up my whole life savings. Dead people ain't got no life savings, bruh.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell Candorville 2017-04-23 expense 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-23 Pub. Date: 2017-04-23
Image Number: 156529
Caption: Hello, you've reached Sisyphus Mortgage. This is Ryan. How may I hinder you? I just got an ad saying you specialize in loans for self-employed people. I'm self-employed. I've taken all the tax deductions the law allows, so my income appears to be much smaller than it actually is. Is there any type of loan I'd qualify for? Of course. If you've got 24 months of bank statements that show you can easily afford the monthly payments, you may qualify for a "bank statement loan." I could get you bank statements. Great! ... Oh, one more thing, we also need to see receipts proving that your expenses match your bank accounts. You do? ... O ... K ... I'll see if I can dig those up. Great! ... Oh, one more thing, we'll also need to see your business license. Ryan, how many "one more things" are there? Before I can answer that, I just need one more thing ...
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell Candorville 2017-04-03 expense 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-03 Pub. Date: 2017-04-03
Image Number: 156465
Caption: So what if you can't get a mortgage to buy a house? If you really want to move to Canada, why not just rent? Because I've live in the same tiny $600 rent-controlled apartment my whole adult life, I've saved every month for decades, and I haven't bought a new computer since 2003. I've done all this so that one day I could afford to buy a house and have something to leave my son. Spending fifty billion dollars a month on rent might make that a little hard to do. You're exaggerating ... a little.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell Candorville 2016-08-02 expense 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-02 Pub. Date: 2016-08-02
Image Number: 146689
Caption: What do you mean you "had no choice"? I checked my bank account this morning. Newspapers, coffee, lunch, bus fare, diapers, day care, movie tickets, clothes … It all adds up. It's like every day I leave the building, $50 vanishes from my wallet. Locking yourself on the roof all day is not the answer. I'm cold, hungry and my son's kinda stinky.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell Candorville 2016-04-11 expense 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-11 Pub. Date: 2016-04-11
Image Number: 141796
Caption: Whachoo gone an' canceled cable for, bruh? It's too expensive and I didn't watch most of the channels. I can see all my favorite shows on Netflix and Hulu for a fraction of the cost. That's selfish. Think of the ramifications. Think of the cable workers who gonna lose they job if erebody cut cable. Wait ... how did you know I canceled cable? (A) I don't know what you implying, an' (2) I don't even know how to tap somebody line to secretly share they cable.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell Candorville 2015-09-01 expense 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-09-01 Pub. Date: 2015-09-01
Image Number: 131899
Caption: I think you're wrong when you say Airbnb and things like it are ruining the economy and putting people out of work. A couple months ago, I was browsing their site. It made me really feel like traveling. So I took a weekend trip to Cameroon. But it turned out the Airbnb I loved wasn't any cheaper than a hotel, so I booked the hotel room. That's anecdotal evidence, Susan. Anecdotal evidence doesn't prove anything. How do you know that? Well ... from what I've seen, anecdotal evidence is often misleading.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell Candorville 2015-01-09 expense 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-01-09 Pub. Date: 2015-01-09
Image Number: 121080
Caption: I'm pretty sure my appendix just ruptured. Don't you want to call an ambulance? No, I opted for the silver Obamacare plan. That means if I call an ambulance, I won't be charged thousands of dollars for it. If that happens, I won't be able to keep saying "Obamacare's done nothing for me" with a clear conscience. Now's not the time to think about politics. Spoken just like a - ouch - ... statist.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell Candorville 2014-08-16 expense 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-08-16 Pub. Date: 2014-08-16
Image Number: 114930
Caption: Hello, creditor, you've reached the home of Lemont Brown. Paying 30% interest on the bus ticket you helped me buy 20 years ago is more important to me than survival. So I can't come to the phone right now, because I'm busy bundling all my cash to send to you instead of using it to feed my child, pay my rent and keep my lights on. Please leave a message and I'll get back to you when I'm done making money appear out of thin air. BEEP.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell Candorville 2013-12-05 expense 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-12-05 Pub. Date: 2013-12-05
Image Number: 104627
Caption: Here's the thing, C-Dog … Yeah, your last album sold almost 15,000 copies … … And yeah, we supposed to give you 50% of the profits … … But there was no profit, 'cause our expenses were more than the proceeds. … For instance, we had to pay a lawyer $50k. Thug 4 Life. What for? To make it look like your album didn't earn a profit.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell Candorville 2013-11-02 expense 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-11-02 Pub. Date: 2013-11-02
Image Number: 103222
Caption: I'm sick of liberals saying we should raise taxes to help pay off the national debt. If the government were a household that spent more than it took in, the parents would do the ONLY THING they could and cut back on unnecessary expenses. Um … They could also look for higher-paying jobs that brought in more revenue. What'd you say? I was on the phone canceling my electricity and my phone. The Starbucks at the End of the World. (Originally published 2012-12-06).
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell Candorville 2013-10-06 expense 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-10-06 Pub. Date: 2013-10-06
Image Number: 101948
Caption: Hello, you've reached Wells Fraggo Bank. Ryan speaking. How may I hinder you today? I have a question. I need to transfer money from my savings to my checking … … But when I try, it tells me I've exceeded the maximum number of online transfers for the month. You guys never told me there was any maximum number of online transfers. It says if I transfer money, I may or may not be hit with an excess transaction fee. But it doesn't tell me what that fee is. So my question is: what else are you guys not telling me? I'm sorry, can you repeat that? I was busy processing your excess phone call fee.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell Candorville 2013-07-20 expense 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-07-20 Pub. Date: 2013-07-20
Image Number: 99245
Caption: I think you're only scratching the surface. Dr. Noodle. You're not stressed about being broke. You're stressed because you fear what that says about you. M.A. You fear it means you're irresponsible. Worthless. A useless mole on the booty of mankind. Hey, I told you I'll pay you next Tuesday. Get off my case. You're defensive. That's a sign of a deeper fear ...
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell Candorville 2013-07-19 expense 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-07-19 Pub. Date: 2013-07-19
Image Number: 99244
Caption: I'm wondering of you can hypnotize me into eating less. Dr. Noodle. That would just be treating a symptom. We need to treat the ROOT CAUSE. You're overeating to comfort yourself, because something in your life is causing anxiety. Well … I HAVE been stressing about money lately. Maybe I should drop whatever's not absolutely necessary. M.A. Like cable. Or life insurance. Or therapy. Look into the watch ...
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell Candorville 2013-06-24 expense 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-06-24 Pub. Date: 2013-06-24
Image Number: 98447
Caption: Ok, how's this sound: You come back to work for us and we'll give you 5% of the gross profits of the paper. The Candorville Chronicle. … After deducting standard operating expenses. Editor-in-Chief. That sounds more like your talking about NET profits. No, we're talking the gross of the net. AND you'll get full benefits, with a 100% co-pay.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell Candorville 2013-06-18 expense 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-06-18 Pub. Date: 2013-06-18
Image Number: 98184
Caption: What do you mean you "had no choice"? I checked my bank account this morning. Newspapers, coffee, lunch, bus fare, diapers, day care, movie tickets, clothes … It all adds up. It's like every day I leave the building, $50 vanishes from my wallet. Locking yourself on the roof all day is not the answer. I'm cold, hungry and my son's kinda stinky.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell Candorville 2013-04-12 expense 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-04-12 Pub. Date: 2013-04-12
Image Number: 95576
Caption: Lemont calls to cancel his cable. Sir, before you go ... What if I gave you all the channels you want, plus free HBO for a year, for half what we charge you now? I'd say if you can afford to do that, you must've been overcharging me all this time ... but whatever. I'll give you one more chance. I'll take it. Thank you, sir! You won't be sorry. The one who's less in love controls the relationship. (Originally published on 2011-09-02).
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell Candorville 2013-04-10 expense 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-04-10 Pub. Date: 2013-04-10
Image Number: 95574
Caption: Lemont talks to Brian at Concast cable. Didn't we give you HBO free for six months? When you were down, didn't we come over promptly to service you? Go ahead, try satellite. You'll come crawling back here when their six-month special is over and they get just as expensive as us. ok. 'Bye. WAIT! What if ... What if we change? It's too late, Brian. (Originally published on 2011-08-31).
     
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