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Candorville

Comics about evil .

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41. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-07-01 evil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-07-01 Pub. Date: 2011-07-01
Image Number: 62675
Caption: The power of suggestion is insidious. For months, we've been dealing with your delusion about your ex being an ancient, evil vampire. A couple of nights ago, I actually dreamt it was all true … … and that she was holding me prisoner in her dungeon. Can we deal with my delusion that you charge me $100 an hour to talk about ME and not YOU?
     
42. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-06-02 evil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-06-02 Pub. Date: 2011-06-02
Image Number: 61587
Caption: WHERE ARE THE PICTURES?! I had hundreds of pictures of Lionel and me, I was gonna use them to prove to the court I'm his dad! Susan? Why you sittin' in the dark in Lemont's apartment e'retime he away? An' is that your evil dog using computer? GILLIGAAAAAAN ... The Skipper tooooo .... FOCUS! I'm having a problem here! Huh? What? Snap snap.
     
43. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-05-16 evil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-05-16 Pub. Date: 2011-05-16
Image Number: 60996
Caption: When I was six, I dreamt I was a Jedi knight saving the galaxy from an evil empire. When I was 16. I dreamt I was making out with the girl next door. Last night, I dreamt I was giving Osama Bin Laden his exit interview, and he didn't like his severance package. Hold up ... you dreamin' 'bout some dude's packages? I bet when I'm 60, I'll dream of ex-lax.
     
44. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-05-06 evil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-05-06 Pub. Date: 2011-05-06
Image Number: 60511
Caption: Don't worry, Lemont. I'm prepared for whatever your evil ex's lawyer says. The can call you neglectful, say you're abusive, a terrorist, poor, inadequate and slovenly. And a little fat around -- I GET IT! But I'm prepared for anything! I've got rebuttals! I've got expert testimony! I've got -- Your honor, Ms. Dubois has never even heard of this man before. ... I've got poopy pants. Me too.
     
45. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-04-13 evil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-04-13 Pub. Date: 2011-04-13
Image Number: 59638
Caption: I can't open the door, Lemont. Mommy said never to open the door for grown-ups when she's not here. That's it! I can't stand it! I'm never getting custody of m son! Life is a cruel joke! My evil ex's mother is the judge! My lawyer is a six-year-old brat with chicken pox! Go to your room, young man. Huh? That's what Mommy always says when I throw a tantrum. Surprisingly it works. To Hell ... o Kitty ... with you! You can also try sitting in the corner.
     
46. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-01-27 evil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-01-27 Pub. Date: 2011-01-27
Image Number: 56622
Caption: You're doubling my antipsychotic dosage? It's for your own good, Lemont. It won't help your custody dispute if you stand up in court … … and say you believe your ex is an evil, 400-year-old vampire who's using you and your son to fulfill an ancient prophecy and rule the world. What if I say it more ... diplomatically? Fascinating.
     
47. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-12-29 evil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-12-29 Pub. Date: 2010-12-29
Image Number: 55684
Caption: Your honor, I DEMAND a continuance! I'm suing my evil ex-fiancee for custody, and my lawyer is nowhere to be found! Who's the short man standing next to you in a suit? That's no man! That's my lawyer's six-year-nephew, pretending to be him! Not wise to insult your own attorney, Mr. Brown. Permission to treat him as a hostile witless!
     
48. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-11-12 evil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-11-12 Pub. Date: 2010-11-12
Image Number: 53960
Caption: Sasha Mitchell, my "one who got away" from college, just Facebooked me. I'm not sure I should write back. You can either use this Sasha Mitchell as a drug to help distract you from your disastrous relationship with your evil ex … … or you can take time to really examine your life and figure out what YOU need in order to have a happy, healthy relationship. There are lots of good drugs. Aspirin ... Tums ... Fascinating.
     
49. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-11-11 evil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-11-11 Pub. Date: 2010-11-11
Image Number: 53959
Caption: Doc, I don't think the medicine you gave me is working. My … visions … are returning. I keep imagining Roxanne is an evil vampire who used me to father a child, in order to fulfill an ancient prophecy, become a daywalker, and conquer the world. And I keep imagining some guy named Saxon Kenchu is her half-human, half-vampire son who tried to help me defeat her but ended up suffering a fate worse than death. I warned you the Flintstones antipsychotic chewables might not work. BUT I CAN'T SWALLOW PILLS!
     
50. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-11-09 evil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-11-09 Pub. Date: 2010-11-09
Image Number: 53957
Caption: What's causing my depression? Well, for one, my evil ex-fiancee, who I'm suing for custody. Let's explore exactly how she's mean to you. … and my deadbeat lawyer who's disappeared without a trace just when I need him. Let's explore how he ABANDONED you. ... And my boss won't give me a raise. I'm broke and Roxanne's got old money ... how can I compete with that in court? Let's explore your boss' heartless decision. ... And you had me committed to a sanitarium, so now the judge'll think I'm nuts. It doesn't help to point fingers.
     
51. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-11-08 evil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-11-08 Pub. Date: 2010-11-08
Image Number: 53956
Caption: Dr. Noodle. Why do bad things happen to me? I'm a good person. I pay my taxes, I donate blood, I help little old ladies cross the street … … But I end up with an evil ex-fiancee, a friend who leaches off me, a receding hairline … Is this a bad time to tell you I'm raising my hourly fee? From now on the little old ladies are on their own!
     
52. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-10-16 evil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-10-16 Pub. Date: 2010-10-16
Image Number: 53006
Caption: I want to tell him how I feel, but I can't … First of all, I lied to him months ago, told him I was in a relationship with my evil assistant Dick Fink … and that lie drove him crazy. I mean seriously, he was committed! He'd never forgive me! Secondly, he just got an e-mail from his "one that got away" and now he's 100% focused on her, and I don't wanna get the "let's just be friends" talk from him. That'd just kill me. Ma'am .. all I asked was "would you like pepperoni on that?" You're right. I should tell him anyway.
     
53. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-08-19 evil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-08-19 Pub. Date: 2010-08-19
Image Number: 50979
Caption: Meanwhile, I Roxanne's dungeon … "I told Lemont this custody fight against you is hopeless and he should quit. "Now keep your end of the deal and let me go. No, say the other part again. "All right, you evil, untrustworthy vampire whose word can't be trusted ..." D'OH! Do you prefer to be slathered in ketchup or hot mustard?
     
54. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-07-30 evil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-07-30 Pub. Date: 2010-07-30
Image Number: 50003
Caption: To be honest, when Lemont described you as a crazy, evil, 300-year-old vampire … … who used him to father a mystical child whom an ancient prophecy said would grant you the power to enslave humanity … … I thought he was a little nuts. … Is there a "but" coming? Not really.
     
55. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-07-28 evil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-07-28 Pub. Date: 2010-07-28
Image Number: 50001
Caption: The satirical world of Lemont's newspaper column is filled with characters from his real life -- whom he depicts as duplicitous and evil -- like his fiancée, Roxanne. How does Roxanne feel about that? Earlier that evening … Is there anything you DON'T want me to ask? Well ... I'm going through a messy custody fight with my ex-fiancée, Roxanne. I don't want to talk about her AT ALL. How do you spell your name again, Wendy?
     
56. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-07-27 evil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-07-27 Pub. Date: 2010-07-27
Image Number: 50000
Caption: Both Stephen King and Lemont Brown create books that fall into the realm of satire … … And, I would argue, pretty dark satire sometimes. Both were raised by single, working-class mothers … Both worked as columnists for their college newspapers … Both have social security numbers that end in 5555 ... Google is evil.
     
57. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-07-09 evil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-07-09 Pub. Date: 2010-07-09
Image Number: 49259
Caption: You thought 2,000 people were coming to hear you speak, but it turns out they're all coming to hear Stephen King. They like you so much they think you're worthy of appearing on the same panel discussion as Stephen King! To the audience, you're just "the other guy" who'll be taking up some of King's speaking time. ... He's got a point.
     
58. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-03-30 evil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-03-30 Pub. Date: 2010-03-30
Image Number: 45680
Caption: Date - a - chick.com. Charming, happy man who doesn't have a bitter bone in his body … … about his evil harpy ex who made his life a living nightmare … … seeks equally happy woman. Start over. Too mushy?
     
59. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-02-05 evil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-02-05 Pub. Date: 2010-02-05
Image Number: 43632
Caption: You mean it?! You're really finally leaving Roxanne? I figured if I could believe all year that she's an evil vampire trying to conquer the world, maybe she's not exactly the right woman for me. I don't see a flaw in that logic. And I'm not fond of her taste in music. Yes, yes, that is important ...
     
60. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-02-02 evil 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-02-02 Pub. Date: 2010-02-02
Image Number: 43629
Caption: Y'know my fiancée Roxanne? Big L, you my boy. I was just clowning you all this time, callin' her "evil" and what not. I always liked your girl. She special. You an' she gonna have a happy life together. I just told her I'm leaving her and suing for custody. I always hated that evil (bleep) about time you put her (bleep bleep) in her place. Good talk, Clyde.
     
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