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Rudy Park

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-24 employee employer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-24 Pub. Date: 2018-05-24
Image Number: 171809
Caption: Boss … I just got a memo saying you want me to work longer shifts. But I already work 18 hours a day. I need to sleep. Traitor. Spain is considering doing away with the siesta. No more mid-afternoon naps or three-hour lunch breaks. Spain is the most valuable ally we've ever had in the history of our country. We've got to stand by them by eliminating our own unnecessary frivolities. Very. Bad. Man. Also, Spain's minimum wage is about $5.87. e must stand with Spain.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-11 employee employer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-11 Pub. Date: 2018-05-11
Image Number: 171299
Caption: Boss, I got your memo. Why can't I talk about the ancient pyramids with the patrons? You misread that, minion. I want you to talk about the pyramids even more. Throw in the Sphinx, while you're at it. I've noticed a 4.35 spike in sales of cold drinks every time you bring up desert-based topics. You're taking all the fun out of human interaction. From now on, you're to carry around a small cactus at all times.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-13 employee employer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-13 Pub. Date: 2018-03-13
Image Number: 169406
Caption: You wanted to talk to me, boss? Yes, Rudy. I'm going to give you some time off to expand your horizons. You are? But you've never given me any time off ever. That was before patrons began complaining about how boring you are. I'm going to need you to visit exciting locales, get into interesting exploits, and come back with tales with which to enthrall the average cafe patron. Wow. Thanks. I'll give you four hours off every day between midnight and 4 a.m. Use them wisely. Wow. Thanks.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-10 employee employer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-10 Pub. Date: 2018-03-10
Image Number: 169200
Caption: Hey boss, it's almost the middle of March and I haven't been paid yet. Are you sure? Perhaps I already paid you for March back in February. Perhaps I've been paying you a whole month early for the last 16 years, and so you aren't actually entitled to another check until April. If you show me your very first check stub from 16 years ago, we could clear this up. Very. Mad. Man.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-09 employee employer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-09 Pub. Date: 2018-03-09
Image Number: 169199
Caption: Hey boss, it's almost the middle of March and I haven't been paid yet. Are you sure? Perhaps I already paid you for March back in February. Perhaps I've been paying you a whole month early for the last 16 years, and so you aren't actually entitled to another check until April. If you show me your very first check stub from 16 years ago, we could clear this up. Very. Mad. Man.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-03 employee employer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-03 Pub. Date: 2018-03-03
Image Number: 168938
Caption: I suppose you're wondering why I summoned you, minion. Not really, boss. I've noticed a disturbing trend: Bikinis are getting smaller and smaller. So small, in fact, that they no longer hid anything. I think it's about time our café took a stand and did something to outlaw this moral decay. That's why I've arranged for you to hand "campaign donations" to several city councilmembers. This doesn't have anything to do with our declining donut sales, does it? People should never have to forego life's finer things just to go to the beach.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-02-16 employee employer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-02-16 Pub. Date: 2018-02-16
Image Number: 168445
Caption: Boss, hear me out: I'm giving you a chance to progressively cultivate optimal internal organic sources. Forget it. But a sabbatical would seamlessly benchmark high-payoff architectures so your assets could competently pursue premier content generation. You're not getting a week's paid vacation, minion, and that's final. But don't you want to synergistically drive holistic, end-to-end cross-functional virtualization? Get back to work.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-27 employee employer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-27 Pub. Date: 2018-01-27
Image Number: 167661
Caption: Boss? When are you going to start paying me a a full-time employee? I'm here all the time. It's not "part-time." Nonsense. The law clearly states that anything under 35 hours a week is part time … and anything from 35-40 hours a week is full time. You work 50 hours a week, so you don't fall within the full-time window. Full time window is not a thing, boss. Pretty sure it is, I just heard myself say it.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-26 employee employer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-26 Pub. Date: 2018-01-26
Image Number: 167660
Caption: You wanted to see me again, boss? Yes. I realized you never gave me my Christmas bonus. What're you talking about? You're the boss. You give me a bonus, I don't give you a bonus. Exactly. The key word in employer-employee relationship is relationship. One-sided relationships never work, Rudy. I've calculated the amount you would have paid me if you hadn't been taking me for granted for 16 years. Very bad man.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-19 employee employer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-19 Pub. Date: 2018-01-19
Image Number: 167381
Caption: You're here early, minion. I appreciate the dedication you're showing. Thanks, boss. I've adjusted your work schedule accordingly. What do you mean? There's no reason why you have to show up for work at 5 a.m. every day now that I know you're capable of showing up at 4 a.m. I also noticed you took only one bathroom break yesterday, so ... Very Bad Man.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-26 employee employer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-26 Pub. Date: 2017-12-26
Image Number: 166540
Caption: You wanted to talk to me, minion? It's about my tips, boss. Oh, that. Mr. Trump says it's not ok for me to keep all your tips. So I'm doing that. But you've been doing that for 17 years. You told me it was the law 17 years ago. What I did, Rudy, was proactively facilitate enterprise architecture to converge best practices with forward compatible, associate-focused revenue stream. Now get out there and energetically cultivate client-based tips to incubate synergistic incentivizational end-to-end paradigms. Make it stop!!!
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-25 employee employer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-25 Pub. Date: 2017-12-25
Image Number: 166539
Caption: Boss? There was a scrawny pigeon taped to my bedroom window this morning. A post-it note stuck to its back said "Sincerely, Armstrong." So it wasn't a dream! Last night, as I slumbered in my bed, I was visited by three spirits. They took me on a tour of Christmases past, present, and future. I used the tips future-me gave me to tell past-me to save money so present-me can buy the right obscure stocks, so future-me can reap huge dividends in 2047. Very. Bad. Man. The ghosts said something about my not appreciating you. So I swung by and left you a Christmas dinner, to pacify them.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-24 employee employer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-24 Pub. Date: 2017-11-24
Image Number: 165180
Caption: Minion, I'm ordering you not to talk about alternate histories with the customers. No more "what if feudalism never happened" nonsense. If people start thinking things could've been different, they'll soon start thinking things could've been better. Which could lead to them thinking things can still get better. This "gap between rich and poor" thing is working out in my favor. I don't want your talk of alternate pasts to accidentally create any alternate futures. Very bad man.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-17 employee employer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-17 Pub. Date: 2017-11-17
Image Number: 164886
Caption: Rudy, it's come to my attention you've been using the restroom three times a day. Of course I have, boss. Did you not see the sign out front that says "restrooms are for customers only"? Seriously? I work here, boss. I've worked here for sixteen years! Good point. Calculating ... average customer spends $20 ... multiply by sixteen ... multiply by 365 ... I'll have to deduct $116,800 from your next several dozen paychecks. Very bad man.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-07 employee employer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-07 Pub. Date: 2017-11-07
Image Number: 164674
Caption: Hey boss, in light of all that's been happening in Hollywood and journalism, I just want to thank you. For what? Well, for a long time now, you've underpaid me, overworked me, threatened to replace me with undocumented workers or robots, made me an unwitting accomplice to money laundering for foreign oligarchs ... but you've never sexually harassed me. So for that, boss, I thank you. Only a fool would engage in an unprofitable ... I mean ... immoral ... activity. You're such a wonderful very bad man.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-20 employee employer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-20 Pub. Date: 2017-10-20
Image Number: 163919
Caption: Boss? Did you happen to start a Youtube channel? We have no proof of that, minion. But I came across a Youtube video called "Humiliate Your Employees for Fun and Profit." Sounds interesting. The guy giving advice in that video looks just like you. No he doesn't. He's got a huge mustache and an eye patch. I mean ... he sounds like he probably has a huge mustache and an eye patch. Very bad man.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-08 employee employer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-08 Pub. Date: 2017-10-08
Image Number: 162958
Caption: What was it you wanted to talk about, minion? Boss, you called me in at 2a.m. to clean out the gutters. We don't have any gutters. Of course we don't have any gutters. I'm confused. When I ordered you to clean out the gutters, it was clearly implied that you're first supposed to install them. Am I supposed to do all your thinking for you, Rudy? This is very disappointing. This will impact your next weekly performance review. Anyway, you'd better get to it. How do you expect the cafe's rooftop garden to properly drain without gutters? We don't have a rooftop garden. Very bad man. How do you expect to placate the green-freaks once we install the oil wells without a rooftop garden.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-09-14 employee employer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-09-14 Pub. Date: 2017-09-14
Image Number: 162612
Caption: Rudy, I'm thinking of replacing you with Gunther the illegal immigrant. What?! Businessman of the Year. Armstrong Maynard. Relax. I haven't yet made up my mind. I'll give you a chance to underbid him. Gunther says he'll work for $1 a day, from 3am to 11pm. Can you beat that? Yeah. I can turn you in. Tsk tsk ... Gunther would never say something like that.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-08-26 employee employer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-08-26 Pub. Date: 2017-08-26
Image Number: 161811
Caption: Hey boss, it's almost closing time. Mind if I knock off early? I do indeed, minion. It's a slippery slope. If I let you off ten minutes early. The next thing you'd know, you'll be asking for eleven free minutes. And the next thing you'd know, yadda yadda yadda, the courts would be forcing me to pay for your third cousin's foreign-born nanny's uncle's appendectomy. You should really cut down on making these slippery slope arguments. If I did that, the next thing you'd know, the courts would be forcing me to buy everyone a turtle.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-08-07 employee employer 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-08-07 Pub. Date: 2017-08-07
Image Number: 161297
Caption: Boss? It's way past the 1st of the month and I still haven't received my paycheck. That's because the state requires that I pay you monthly, but it's not specific about whose month. Haven't you ever heard of gravitational time dilation? Time passes more slowly for an observer who's closer to a significant gravitational mass than it does for an observer who's farther away. Because I'm closer to my massive bank account than you are, one month for me is two months for you. I want my check by the end of today in me-time.
     
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