We interrupt this breaking news to bring you breaking news! About half an hour ago, we interrupted "The Price Is Right" to bring you breaking news. An elderly "Price Is Right" fan emerged out of nowhere and began pummeling our news van with rotten eggs. Our newscopter is bringing us video of the lady chasing our van. What is that she's driving, Chuck? I believe that's a Rascal Scooter, Ted.
This just in: Chris Christie still doesn’t know anything about the bridge closing. This just in: Lake Michigan burped up giant ice balls. This just in: Local news anchor about to have eggs thrown at car for interrupting "The Price is Right" to tell me that nonsense. Someone's got to pay. It pays to know when to stay perfectly still.