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Rudy Park

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381. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-11-12 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-11-12 Pub. Date: 2014-11-12
Image Number: 118877
Caption: Do you think it's too late to go into the ambassador business? Little buddy … … it's never too late to … wait … "ambassador business"? It's all about money, right? If you donate enough money to the right politician, you get to be ambassador to a tropical paradise. You don't have any money to donate. I made a kickstarter page.
     
382. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-11-01 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-11-01 Pub. Date: 2014-11-01
Image Number: 118268
Caption: Did you hear Sadie's show today? Of course not, little buddy. Randy's man-rule #68.1: "Never admit you know anything about what the people you know do for a living." It's the first page in the chapter titled: "Never Display More Interest In A Person Than That Person Shows In You." Do you know what I do for a living? I don't even know your name, little buddy.
     
383. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-10-28 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-10-28 Pub. Date: 2014-10-28
Image Number: 118264
Caption: You're on "Ask Sadie." What's your problem?! Ebola. Should I really be this freaked out about it? I mean, more Americans have been married to Angelina Jolie than have died of Ebola. You should be TERRIFIED! It LIQUIFIES YOUR ORGANS! It's so EASY TO CATCH, too, if a symptomatic Ebola patient throws up on you and you don't notice in time to wash it off before you rub your eyes. Ratings gold! If I stay tuned, will you update me on all the developments?
     
384. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-10-25 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-10-25 Pub. Date: 2014-10-25
Image Number: 117987
Caption: Welcome to ASK SADIE. You're on, Chicago. What's your problem? I'm not sure my children love me. How can. Stop. You know why your children don’t love you? Because you're an insecure, whiny toad and they can SMELL the desperation on you. Raising children is like any other relationship: you have to play hard-to-get! They have a runny nose? A boo-boo? They're hungry? Make them wait till you finish your phone call, do your hair, take your nap, have your supper ... Do your own children love you? I don't see what that has to do with anything.
     
385. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-10-12 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-10-12 Pub. Date: 2014-10-12
Image Number: 116835
Caption: Rudy! I've been hacked!!! What are you talking about, Uncle Mort? Remember when you scammed all my photos? "Scanned." They were released as part of "The Fappening"! What do you have to say for yourself?! Do you think perchance you should've used a more secure pathword on your iCloud account? "Password." So you admit it!! You let hackers violate my privacy, and I demand that you delete every picture of me in my skivvies from the internet! If you don't, I'll- Zzz. I don't know what you're talking about. "Rudyrulz" has been a secure password ever since 1994.
     
386. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-10-09 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-10-09 Pub. Date: 2014-10-09
Image Number: 117418
Caption: Hey, Randy, you still in the café? Yeah. What's up? People don’t know how to drive. There I was driving along, when this guy pulled out right in front of me going 10 below the speed limit. Why do people do that? If a car's going faster than you, let it pass, don't pull right in front of it. Anyway, I think I may have left a can of cooking oil next to the stove. Can you make sure I turned off the burner? So how was your morning? You really need to prioritize the things you say.
     
387. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-09-14 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-09-14 Pub. Date: 2014-09-14
Image Number: 115615
Caption: Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid café owner who discovers a map to the lost coffee bean of the ancients. The bean is hidden in crumbling catacombs beneath a booby-trapped Mayan temple. Braving an almost certain grizzly death ... ... the cafe owner sends his obsequious minion to liberate the bean. Wait ... what? But the story really gets going when the evil minion tries filing for workman's comp just because he loses a few toes. Can the brave owner have his government stooge dismiss the complaint before his insurance premium is affected? Stay tuned! I don't think I get one-percenter fiction, boss.
     
388. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-08-30 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-08-30 Pub. Date: 2014-08-30
Image Number: 115614
Caption: @sexygirl4u and I had a falling out last night. I hit "like" on a revealing photo she'd posted. But then I worried that was too forward of me. So I hit "like" on all 89 of her less suggestive photos so she wouldn’t think I was a pervert. Then she blocked me. I just don't understand women, I guess. I'm starting to.
     
389. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-08-28 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-08-28 Pub. Date: 2014-08-28
Image Number: 115612
Caption: Have you ever known anyone famous? I have. I've always been great friends with Randy "The Rock" Taylor. What? That's you. Carry yourself like everyone knows you, and everyone you meet will feel like they SHOULD know you. HEY, YOU ALL OVER THERE! YOU KNOW ME! You don't carry things with your mouth.
     
390. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-08-11 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-08-11 Pub. Date: 2014-08-11
Image Number: 114987
Caption: All those broken cease-fires between the Israelis and the Palestinians take me way back. I once lived with a girl who'd break up with me once a week. We'd break up, make up, break up, make up, over and over and over again. We couldn’t live together but each of us thought we had a right to that apartment, so we fought over it for a long time. It's more complicated than that. Maybe Israel should try leaving Palestine and moving in with her sister. I don't even know what that means.
     
391. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-08-01 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-08-01 Pub. Date: 2014-08-01
Image Number: 114436
Caption: Scientists discovered an immense hole in Siberia. Nobody knows what caused it. Some think global warming melted a huge gas-filled hill made of ice so fast that it exploded. Let's let them go on thinking that, little buddy. House of Java .net Cybercafe. By the way, if you ever go out to the middle of nowhere to brew your own black market cologne, make sure you don't brew it on a hill made of ice. That does not constitute an admission of anything.
     
392. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-07-31 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-07-31 Pub. Date: 2014-07-31
Image Number: 114435
Caption: Sadie, what would it take for you to provide someone with an alibi? Let's see if you qualify for a discount. Was the crime funny? No. Was the victim someone I despise? No. Was the victim a slacker? No. Oh. Well … I'll give you a discount anyway. But don't tell anyone.
     
393. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-07-25 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-07-25 Pub. Date: 2014-07-25
Image Number: 114175
Caption: Have you ever been to a funeral, Randy? Of course. Dozens. You've lost dozens of people? What happened, some natural disaster or something? No, I didn’t know most of them. Wait … please don't tell me you - Grieving ladies need comforting.
     
394. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-07-24 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-07-24 Pub. Date: 2014-07-24
Image Number: 114174
Caption: I imagine at your age, you attend a lot of funerals, Sadie. Oh, yes, they're quite lovely. As a child, I attended birthday parties. As a lass, I attended sweet sixteens. As a young adult, I attended weddings. As a mature woman, I attended retirement parties. Now, in the twilight of life, I attend funerals. "Deathday" parties, if you will. And it's beautiful. Because it's all come full circle? Because for once, I don't have to buy the %$&@ a gift.
     
395. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-07-23 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-07-23 Pub. Date: 2014-07-23
Image Number: 114173
Caption: I just need exactly 30 minutes to go to a funeral. Exactly? That's how long it'll take me to march to the archipelago where Bajor was and light a dragon on fire in Bajor's honor. I hope you're going to tell me you're talking about some video game … … because paying for your mental health care would violate my religious beliefs, and the supreme court said I don't have to do that. I dressed my pikemen in black.
     
396. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-07-22 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-07-22 Pub. Date: 2014-07-22
Image Number: 114172
Caption: I need to take some bereavement time off. "Bereavement time"? Let me check … No, there's no such thing as "bereavement time" in your contract, Rudy. I'd love to give you time off to grieve but if I start allowing things that aren't in your contract, before we know it you'll be marrying your car. What car? I don't own a car. I believe my point still stands.
     
397. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-07-19 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-07-19 Pub. Date: 2014-07-19
Image Number: 115148
Caption: Thanks for hiding me in your mustache when Mrs. Cohen was looking for me. Don't mention it. There was plenty of room. My comb and my lava lamp don't take up too much space. You didn't break my Barry White records when you were in there, did you? No, I left them in the credenza. Which one?
     
398. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-07-10 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-07-10 Pub. Date: 2014-07-10
Image Number: 113516
Caption: Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, Were you ever young? If so, what was it like for you? -Grandma Pat. *(Actual reader letter) Ask Sadie at rudy@rudypark.com. Awful and typical. I experienced wild hormone swings, had crazy flings with key members of the Roosevelt administration, indirectly caused two world wars and, in a drunken rage, destroyed evidence of alien landings in Roswell. The usual stuff. Getting old is worse. I don't want to hear about it.
     
399. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-07-02 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-07-02 Pub. Date: 2014-07-02
Image Number: 113253
Caption: Randy having his annual emotion. How's it going in there? I … Do Not Disturb. What? What are you feeling? I … I'm feeling … regret. I keep thinking of all the guys I've beaten in sports, in romance, at work … You regret being someone so consumed with competition. I regret not also beating them at chess. Sometimes I just can't identify with you. I regret that, little buddy. ... Wait ... no I don't.
     
400. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-06-29 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-06-29 Pub. Date: 2014-06-29
Image Number: 112394
Caption: HALT! Aw geez … What'd I do now, old guy? You know exactly what you did. … He knows. How does he know?! Does everyone know?! Oh my God, I'll be ruined! Candace will never understand! She'll leave me!! Oh my GOD!!! Please don't tell. Have mercy … I have children. Think of how ashamed they'd be if they knew their father hogged the restroom key.
     
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