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Rudy Park

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341. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-03-04 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-03-04 Pub. Date: 2015-03-04
Image Number: 123746
Caption: Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, Do you agree with Rudy Giuliani? He said the president doesn't love America, because he's always apologizing for it and finding fault with it. Thoughts? *Actual reader question. Sounds EXACTLY like love to me. My husband would disagree, but don't mind him, he's just a quarrelsome know-it-all. Ask Sadie at asksadie@rudypark.com.
     
342. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-03-03 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-03-03 Pub. Date: 2015-03-03
Image Number: 123745
Caption: You're on, caller. What's your problem?! The Oscars were so very, very boring. You decided to sit in front of your tv for four hours watching rich people give themselves awards. YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE ENTERTAINED, LOSER! They're coming out with a new show called "Watching Celebrities Cash Their Checks." You'd probably enjoy that. Get professionally berated at asksadie@rudypark.com.
     
343. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-03-02 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-03-02 Pub. Date: 2015-03-02
Image Number: 123744
Caption: ISIS threatened to attack the Mall of America. That's so 1990s. What? Most people don't shop in malls anymore. Most of us shop online from home or from our phones. Someone should tell them the shopper-threatening business just isn't what it used to be. You're not taking them seriously enough. Wake me when they figure out how to send hordes of miniaturized men into my iPhone.
     
344. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-03-01 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-03-01 Pub. Date: 2015-03-01
Image Number: 122758
Caption: They never call, they never write … Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. They come but once a year. I worked and slaved, I diapered them … but they don't seem to care. True, it's clear I'll control their lives, if they should get too near. Grown kids are planets, on their own. But mother's still the sun. If they don't call this week, I'll go supernova on their behinds. That doesn't rhyme!
     
345. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-02-27 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-02-27 Pub. Date: 2015-02-27
Image Number: 123475
Caption: Well, I talked to my parents. I explained to them that I understood our cat Magus had died. I told my folks they don't have to tiptoe around the idea of death. I know that Magus' body stopped working because she was old, and now she's in a better place. Probably like Disneyland, but with lots of pillows and tuna. Right, Rudy? Darn straight, little man. Hot chocolate on the house.
     
346. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-02-26 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-02-26 Pub. Date: 2015-02-26
Image Number: 123474
Caption: I understand that our cat Magus died. I miss her a lot. But I wish my parents wouldn't tiptoe around it. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You don't have to watch Youtube clips of "CSI: Miami" to understand that death is a part of life. The thing I don't understand about our cat's death is, who would've killed her and left a mountain of unresolved clues that only a crack forensics team can figure out? Where were you at 8:45pm? The Youtube generation grows up fast.
     
347. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-02-25 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-02-25 Pub. Date: 2015-02-25
Image Number: 123473
Caption: I need to figure out how to break it to my parents that I understand about death. What're you going to say? I'm going to sit them down and tell them that I understand our cat Magus died, and that's why her body stopped working. I'm going to explain that death is a natural part of life, and that they don't have to treat me like a baby. I get it. If they're still feeling upset, I'll offer to take them out so they can buy themselves a treat. If all else fails, ice cream.
     
348. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-02-23 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-02-23 Pub. Date: 2015-02-23
Image Number: 123471
Caption: Hey barkeep, double hot chocolate, double whipped cream. Sure. Everything okay? It's our family cat. Her body stopped working. I don't understand. Her body stopped working? She died. But my parents are afraid to use that word with me, so they keep coming up with the strangest explanations. At one point, they told be she went to Wichita and wasn't coming back. I'm lost. Isn't airport travel terrible these days?
     
349. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-02-09 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-02-09 Pub. Date: 2015-02-09
Image Number: 122752
Caption: I was watching the Super Bowl, having a good time, when all of a sudden there was this insurance company commercial. It has some kid saying he'll never do this or never do that, because he died in an avoidable childhood accident. Can you believe that? They had the nerve to momentarily kill my super-bowl-buzz in order to potentially save kids' lives. That was awful. What were they thinking? I don't know. Some people just don't have their priorities straight.
     
350. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-02-08 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-02-08 Pub. Date: 2015-02-08
Image Number: 121926
Caption: The Afghanistan war officially ended one month ago. The "Af-What-Istan what" did what? What? That's what I asked you. I said, the Afghanistan war ended. You know, the war we've been fighting for the last thirteen years! We've been fighting a war for the last 13 years? That's odd ... I don't know anyone who was in it. Did we win? Holy Moses. Woulda been cool if it had kept going for 101 years, then it would be a world record. You're the best argument there is for bringing back the draft. "Draft"? You mean beer?
     
351. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-02-07 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-02-07 Pub. Date: 2015-02-07
Image Number: 122491
Caption: Hello, auto club? I have an emergency. What's happened, sir? Ever since I upgraded to iOS 8, my iPhone hasn't been syncing with my car stereo over bluetooth. I don't feel comfortable driving without being able to hear my "driving" playlist. How long till you get here? Sir, we're going to have to revoke your membership.
     
352. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-02-06 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-02-06 Pub. Date: 2015-02-06
Image Number: 122490
Caption: You've reached Randy, The Dating Doctor. What ails you? My girlfriend. She's always dressing me in clothes I don't like, combing my hair in a way I don't like, and trying to get me to do things I don't like to do. That’s because she was impatient. Instead of finding the man of her dreams, she decided to just turn you into the man of her dreams. Run while you're still you. She replaced my running shoes with flip-flops.
     
353. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-02-01 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-02-01 Pub. Date: 2015-02-01
Image Number: 121465
Caption: Open Mike Night Presents: The Comedy Stylings of Rudy Park. Did you hear about the iPhone that hired the best wedding planner in the country because it wanted a great reception? Clap. And then there was the autocorrect programmer who got rejected when he asked a lady out on a debate. The romance didn't last long when the cable tv box found out how spacey the satellite tv box was. Get off the stage! The one who invented binary code was a real zero. Boo. Hiss. I don't even get that one, and I'm glad.
     
354. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-01-31 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-01-31 Pub. Date: 2015-01-31
Image Number: 122186
Caption: Sometimes I wish I were a character in a video game. What? Why? Because they can run for miles, jump, tumble, spin, kick and punch, and never get out of breath. I can't run more than 100 feet without getting winded … and in civilization, you don't ever see an archer die of old age. Simulation-envy.
     
355. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-01-30 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-01-30 Pub. Date: 2015-01-30
Image Number: 122185
Caption: You're on caller. Sadie, I'm offended by what you said earlier. Congratulations! What an achievement! I don't think you understand. You owe me an apology. For what? Nothing makes a self-righteous person happier than having a reason to think their sense of propriety is superior to someone else's. Thank me for making your day, loser! That's not an appropriate response.
     
356. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-01-29 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-01-29 Pub. Date: 2015-01-29
Image Number: 122184
Caption: You're on "Ask Sadie." What's your problem?! My dog seems to be incontinent. I'm tired of cleaning up after him. Would it be wrong to give him to a shelter? Oh, I don't know. Would you ship your parents off to a "shelter" just because you're tired of helping them? Wait ... don't answer that. I once drove dad into the woods, but he found his way back.
     
357. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-01-27 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-01-27 Pub. Date: 2015-01-27
Image Number: 122182
Caption: I haven't seen you look at your Me-phone for five whole minutes. What gives? It's not what you think. I'm still important. I still get alerts every few seconds that remind me and everyone around me that I have things going on. It's just that my phone's charging right now. I swear. Well, I'll help you out in the meantime ... Alert: Constant alerts don't make you a "somebody," you loser! Thanks. That helps.
     
358. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-01-25 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-01-25 Pub. Date: 2015-01-25
Image Number: 121151
Caption: What does the world need most this time of year, minion? Make no sudden movements. It needs to not feel guilty about all the broken New Year's resolutions. I'm not following you. I've created and artificial intelligence program that combs everything posted by or about you on social media ... and then decides your New Year's resolution for you. For instance, yours is to ask out Mbege Anyango from Cameroon. The A.I. was determined she's your soul mate. I've ... I mean the A.I. ... has taken the liberty of booking your flight and deducting all fares and fees from your checking. But I don't feel like going. The problem isn't making resolutions ... the problem is nobody keeps them. Your app doesn't solve that. It doesn't? Are you sure? What if I told you the A.I. also controls a used military drone I bought off eBay? Cameroon sounds lovely.
     
359. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-01-24 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-01-24 Pub. Date: 2015-01-24
Image Number: 121925
Caption: Armstrong, I've worked here for a long time and I think I deserve a raise. How about it? I'll give you an Indian Ocean raise, minion. How does an Indian Ocean raise of $2 an hour sound? Fun fact: The Indiana Ocean's on the opposite side of the world, so its "up" is our "down." I don't think that's how "up" works, boss. "Relativity" is just a theory.
     
360. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-01-19 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-01-19 Pub. Date: 2015-01-19
Image Number: 121920
Caption: Do you think it's safe yet, Randy? No. Little buddy, I don't. But it's been like three months since the election. Give it a few more. I'm afraid I have to concur with Randy. I say give it a couple years. I demand entry! I promise not to inform you the country has fallen off the precipice!
     
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