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Rudy Park

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241. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-04 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-04 Pub. Date: 2016-05-04
Image Number: 142738
Caption: Don't you hate it when you meet a woman, there's chemistry, things are going great … and then just a few wrong words wreck it all? I met this amazing woman. It was love at first sight … That's when she asked me if there was any place nearby where we could grab a drink. Wait ... you're saying SHE ruined it? I just can't be with someone who's not smart enough to Google things for herself.
     
242. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-25 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-25 Pub. Date: 2016-04-25
Image Number: 142427
Caption: Boss, there's a truck outside full of penguins. What's going on? Are you wired? Are you or are you not asking me this on behalf of any law enforcement agency? If I ask you that, you have to tell me. It's a rule. Never mind. I don't think I want to know what's going on. Did you know underground zoos will pay a fortune for black-market penguins?
     
243. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-24 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-24 Pub. Date: 2016-04-24
Image Number: 141629
Caption: Triple espresso, please. No caffeine for you, Uncle Mort. I am not your Uncle Mort. You know the doctors have said "no caffeine," Uncle Mort. I don't know what you're talking about. My name is Mr. Somewunneruther. "Mister Somewunneruther"? Yes. Of the Minnesota Somewunneruthers. We're a very old and respected family. We came over on the Sunflower. Mayflower!!! One gentle flower chamomile tea, coming up.
     
244. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-20 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-20 Pub. Date: 2016-04-20
Image Number: 142132
Caption: Who'd you vote for in the primaries, little buddy? I don't know. I mean, I know who I voted for for president and senator … but all the other names on the ballot were gobbledy-gook to me. A bunch of nobodies running for stuff like "school superintendent ... " "Municipal court judge ... " "Controller," "Associate justice ... " I don't care about any of that stuff. So I just poked zigzaggy patterns into the ballot. You're single-handedly destroying western civilization, I hope you know that.
     
245. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-17 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-17 Pub. Date: 2016-04-17
Image Number: 141249
Caption: What's your most popular drink? Why do you want to know? Why base your order on what other people are buying? Don't be a follower. Be your own man. If you're unfamiliar with a drink, ask what's in it and decide for yourself whether that sounds good. Or better yet, live a little. Take a risk. Choose a drink you've never had at random and see where it takes you. You only have one life. Don't live it following in the footsteps of other people. That's kind of harsh. No, it's the name of the drink.
     
246. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-15 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-15 Pub. Date: 2016-04-15
Image Number: 141818
Caption: What was Rudy like as a child, Mort? He was a very adventurous young man. Every time I visited, he would tell me about his exploits. About how he climbed mountains with some other child named Q-bert … He'd tell me about how he'd spend hours and hours collecting coins with his friends Mario and Luigi ... who just put the Joker back in Arkham Asylum? This guy!! I don't know what that means, but it sounds very strenuous.
     
247. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-12 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-12 Pub. Date: 2016-04-12
Image Number: 141815
Caption: Randy the Love Doctor. What ails you, brother? I'm in love with another man's wife and he found out. We're all supposed to go to the same party next week. But now that he knows … should I still go? Of course. Never run away. But what if he confronts me in front of everyone? I'd be so embarrassed. Just keep repeating Randy's seven golden man-words: "I don't know what you're talking about."
     
248. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-06 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-06 Pub. Date: 2016-04-06
Image Number: 141527
Caption: I'm announcing the debut of my new manual: "Randy's Movie-Watching for Alphas." Chapter One: The critics are all wrong … or the critics are all right. You wouldn't know, because you don't pay any attention to film critics. You make up your own mind. Chapter Two: The snack bar doesn't exist to you. You're not some horse feeding at a trough.
     
249. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-01 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-01 Pub. Date: 2016-04-01
Image Number: 141149
Caption: It's the "Ask Sadie" advice hour. "Holden" in Dallas, you're on. What's your problem?! I've been trying to get my wife to watch "The Expanse" on Syfy channel, but she refuses to even give it a chance. She won't watch any of my favorite shows with me. What can I do? YOU CAN GET A LIFE. Or you can continue to bug her about your tv shows, she can leave you for a romantic, oiled-up helicopter pilot, and you can watch your shows with your pet goldfish. I don't have a goldfish.
     
250. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-23 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-23 Pub. Date: 2016-03-23
Image Number: 140828
Caption: What were you doing during the Iraq war, Randy? What are you talking about? We knew each other back then. That was like 10 or 13 years ago. You can't expect me to remember every little detail about something that happened so long ago. I regularly delete old memory files to make room for all the new data constantly coming my way via Facebook, tweets, Instagram, etc. I wish I didn't have to do that. I wish I could just expand my storage by sticking a flash drive in my nose. Why don't you try? Maybe it'll work.
     
251. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-16 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-16 Pub. Date: 2016-03-16
Image Number: 140523
Caption: I'm thinking of becoming an architect, now that you don't have to know math. You don't? I read an architect's blog. He debunked the "good at math" myth. He said he never went past algebra 2 and doesn't really need to know any more than his 5th grade kid does. I think I'll go in on the ground floor. Maybe design suspension bridges before working my way up to skyscrapers. HOJ. I am never driving or going inside a building again in life. If I need to find the hypotenuse of a bridge thingy, there's probably an app for that.
     
252. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-14 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-14 Pub. Date: 2016-03-14
Image Number: 140521
Caption: I've observed you for the last 15 years. Would you like to know what I've concluded? Sure. You're aging badly. Your hairline has receded by nearly 0.27 inches. Your lateral incisors and cuspids have grown inwardly crooked by 0.3 degrees … You've cultivated a bountiful crop of ear hairs, and your average pore size has increased from 50 microns to 54. It's been a great comfort to me to see that your haggardization is proceeding apace. I don't think I'll ever say "sure" again in life.
     
253. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-12 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-12 Pub. Date: 2016-03-12
Image Number: 140202
Caption: Long time no see, Darlene. That was by design. I've booked you under "mad, passionate midlife crisis fling with a guy my family and friends would disapprove of." That's scheduled for March 2017 - February 2018. But if you say anything dumb between now and then that renders you unattractive, I'll have to replace you. It'd be tough to vet a sub at this late a date. I don't know the meaning of the word "dumb." ... Tough, but not impossible.
     
254. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-08 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-08 Pub. Date: 2016-03-08
Image Number: 140198
Caption: I had my shirt on backward all day. Why didn't you tell me?! I was too busy being impressed, little buddy. You were defying social norms. Walking to the beat of your own drummer. Soaring to the flapping of your own wings. When I see a man with his shirt on backward, I don't correct him. I applaud him. How about when you see a woman with her shirt on backward? I applaud her too, even though there's an increased risk of misunderstanding-related slappage.
     
255. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-22 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-22 Pub. Date: 2016-02-22
Image Number: 139578
Caption: Boss, I don't see why I should have to wear this black armband. Out of respect, Rudy. We're in mourning. When Supreme Court Justice Scalia passed away, we lost one of the men who ruled once and for all that corporations are people and money is speech. He was, quite possibly, the greatest American who ever lived. Well ... no one can even see the armband, 'cause my shirt's black too. Off with your shirt, minion. That's an order.
     
256. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-20 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-20 Pub. Date: 2016-02-20
Image Number: 139257
Caption: Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? I'm involved with a lady who's everything I could ever hope for. Yet I keep thinking about other women. You're a hunter, that's all this is. You're sabotaging your own happiness because if you're happy, that means hunting season will be over forever. Just remember, hunters who don't know when to quit get eaten.
     
257. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-18 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-18 Pub. Date: 2016-02-18
Image Number: 139255
Caption: I don't know how to tell you this, but … I've been watching "Supergirl." Nothing wrong with that. A real man isn't afraid to look up to a woman hero. Women heroes are the best, because not only do they have to conquer villains, they also have to put up with those villains ogling them. Captain America never had to tell The Red Skull "Hey, my face is up here" while he was pummeling him. Women superheroes are also paid less. ... Except Wonder Woman. The last guy who tried to pay her less was never heard from again.
     
258. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-17 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-17 Pub. Date: 2016-02-17
Image Number: 139254
Caption: You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that? Many times. How would you like to be the "after" image in my new ad touting the health benefits of our new nonfat kale macchiato. Let me guess: You'd also like an old picture of me where I was weak and puny, so you can claim that's the "before" picture. Don't worry, I've got that part covered. Something about you looked different today, Rudy. Would you like fries with that observation?
     
259. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-14 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-14 Pub. Date: 2016-02-14
Image Number: 138417
Caption: Triple espresso, por favor. I didn't know you spoke Spanish, Uncle Mort. Yo no soy tu tio Mort. Yo soy otra persona. You know the doctors said you can't have caffeine, Uncle Mort. Yo no soy "tio Mort." Me llamo Fernando Rubio … Cruz … Valenzuela … Alcaraz ... Y ademas, los medicos no ... um ... no ... y ademas, los medicos no ... Dang it! How do you say "And besides, the doctors don't know what they're talking about" in Spanish?! You have no evidence I'm not Fernando Rubio Cruz Valenzuela Alcaraz!! One Gentle Flower Chamomile Tea, coming up.
     
260. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-12 don't 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-12 Pub. Date: 2016-02-12
Image Number: 138887
Caption: I hope Bernie Sanders wins. We've never had a president like him. We've had cool presidents, awkward presidents, dignified presidents, goofy presidents … but we've never had a curmudgeonly president. How do you know? John Adams looked pretty curmudgeonly. Presidents who were around before film or tv don't count. For all we know, they never even really existed. HOJ. We really should have our own political talk show. Theodore Roosevelt was a little bit curmudgeonly.
     
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