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Rudy Park

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181. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-03 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-03 Pub. Date: 2018-01-03
Image Number: 166787
Caption: You asked to see me, boss? Yes, Rudy. We have a serious problem here. I'm going to need you to stop humming the 'Star Wars' theme 24/7. Disney is notoriously litigious. If they catch wind that your publicly performing the theme, they may sue the café for royalties. Daaaa ... daaaa ... duh-duh-duh ... daaaaaaa ... daaaa ... duh-duh-duh ... Wait, what? If you cost me my livelihood, I'll do to you what Han did to that Tauntaun.
     
182. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-30 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-30 Pub. Date: 2017-12-30
Image Number: 166544
Caption: John Barth wrote "Everyone is necessarily the hero of his own life story." That he did, little buddy. But what if a person spends most of his life watching tv, films, Youtube, Instagram, Facebook, etc? What if my -- I mean, this person's -- life story is watching other people's life stories? Does that make other people the hero of this person's story? Sometimes I don't know where I end and Kanye begins. That'd be somewhere around Kim Kardashian.
     
183. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-28 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-28 Pub. Date: 2017-12-28
Image Number: 166542
Caption: The guy who led the Pentagon's research into UFOs says they're real. Whooptie-doo. What else is new? The year was nineteen hundred and forty-seven. I was on guard duty in Roswell, New Mexico. To make a long story short … we came from different worlds. Her father did not approve. But her love for me is the only reason we still have a Northern Hemisphere. I promised not to call her and her father spared the planet, is what I'm saying. I got that.
     
184. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-27 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-27 Pub. Date: 2017-12-27
Image Number: 166541
Caption: Where were you the last few days, little buddy? San Francisco. I heard new robot security guards were harassing the homeless to keep them from sleeping on city streets. So I went out there hoping to be recruited by any time-traveler who came back in time to lead a resistance cell. I knew it was a long-shot. But I'd have kicked myself if I didn't go and the time-traveler did show up. Hey, nothing ventured, nothing gained.
     
185. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-26 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-26 Pub. Date: 2017-12-26
Image Number: 166540
Caption: You wanted to talk to me, minion? It's about my tips, boss. Oh, that. Mr. Trump says it's not ok for me to keep all your tips. So I'm doing that. But you've been doing that for 17 years. You told me it was the law 17 years ago. What I did, Rudy, was proactively facilitate enterprise architecture to converge best practices with forward compatible, associate-focused revenue stream. Now get out there and energetically cultivate client-based tips to incubate synergistic incentivizational end-to-end paradigms. Make it stop!!!
     
186. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-22 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-22 Pub. Date: 2017-12-22
Image Number: 166299
Caption: Welcome to Ask Sadie. You're on, Vancouver. What's your problem? I met this really cool guy who makes my toes go numb … but I'd already been talking to another guy. The thing is, I want them both. Is that selfish? Excellent question. This reminds me of the time I went to the Sizzler salad bar. I wanted both the ranch dressing and the vinaigrette. So what I did was, I poured both of them all over my lettuce at the same time. Metaphor. No, just two. Wait ... what?
     
187. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-17 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-17 Pub. Date: 2017-12-17
Image Number: 165604
Caption: Do you know why I love Star Trek, minion? We called me in at 2am to talk about this? It's because it's a lefty-liberal utopia. They've eliminated scarcity. There's all the food and shelter anyone could ever want, so there's no more need for capitalism. They flat-out say there's no such concept as money in their society. And yet we've seen them buy things. With money. Plenty of times. It's absolute proof that people never truly have to live up to the ideals they espouse, and that's always been an inspiration to me. Now get back out there and remember, the customer is always right!* Service with a smile.* Providing a quality product is its own reward.* You're a very good man.*
     
188. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-16 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-16 Pub. Date: 2017-12-16
Image Number: 166034
Caption: Most Millennial want a third major party to challenge the Republicans and Democrats. The last time a third party rose up and toppled a big-two party was when the Republicans supplanted the Whigs. What do you think that generation was called? Google says they were the "Progressives," but that doesn't sound old-timey enough to be right. I'm not sure what they should be named, but I'm pretty sure it should include the word "falutin." You should have your own political show.
     
189. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-15 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-15 Pub. Date: 2017-12-15
Image Number: 166033
Caption: What do you mean "give table two the special plate"? That’s Smedley Peevish Highbrow, the café critic from Gourmet Magazine. Facial recognition systems are surprisingly cheap on the black market. Still, which plate is the "special plate"? The one with the $100 bill taped to its bottom.
     
190. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-11 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-11 Pub. Date: 2017-12-11
Image Number: 166029
Caption: You have any baby pictures, Randy? I'm just wondering what you looked like before all those muscles. HOJ. Indeed I do, little buddy. In fact, they were professionally taken. By Sears? By Muscle & Fitness Magazine. I was the centerfold in their infants and toddlers edition. Figures.
     
191. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-09 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-09 Pub. Date: 2017-12-09
Image Number: 165720
Caption: The people making the Vasimr engine ripped off my idea. What? How? When I was a kid, I had the idea of getting to Mars in just 40 days. The Vasimr engine uses radio waves to ionize and heat propellant to do just that. That's pretty impressive. How'd you know that radio waves could ionize and heat propellant when you were just a kid? Not that part. Just the "40 days" part. Less impressive.
     
192. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-08 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-08 Pub. Date: 2017-12-08
Image Number: 165719
Caption: Hi, this is one of 847 Democrats who'll be running for president in 2020. There's never been an easier race to win in the whole of history of races, but I'm hoping you'll vote for me over all the other opportunists … By that I don't mean to say that I'm an opportunist who's only running because it's a sure thing, I just mean all the others are. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You know, you have some time. Maybe work on your message a little bit. I didn't sit out 2016 'cause I was afraid of Hillary ... but the others did.
     
193. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-06 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-06 Pub. Date: 2017-12-06
Image Number: 165717
Caption: Rudy, how come you're not wearing the new uniform? You were serious? You seriously want me to dress like a robot? Of course I do, minion. My nightly perusal of customers' web searches indicates most of them are feeling a bit antisocial lately. They'd probably buy more coffee from a robot than a human. Oh wait ... new web searches coming in. I'm going to need you to dress like a sexy robot. Very bad man.
     
194. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-04 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-04 Pub. Date: 2017-12-04
Image Number: 165715
Caption: Welcome to the "Ask Sadie" radio hour. You're on, Detroit. What's your problem?! I just got popped for speeding. $300 ticket. I just found out that Congress paid out millions of taxpayer dollars to settle their own sexual harassment cases. Why do I have to pay when I do something wrong, but when congressmen do something wrong, I still have to pay? This reminds me of the time I didn't care what the caller had to say.
     
195. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-03 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-03 Pub. Date: 2017-12-03
Image Number: 165381
Caption: Triple espresso. Forget it, Uncle Mort. Let's face facts: You're not as young as you used to me. Too much caffeine can literally kill you. Poppycock! Do you know who you're talking to? When we stormed across Europe under Patton, my tank battalion got stuck in the mud during a torrential downpour. Arty Lang switched my canteen full of rainwater with one full of tank gas. So I replaced his tank's timing belt with tree bark and dental floss. That big galoot and I were always pranking each other like that. It was different times. Don't judge. What were we talking about, again? You were ordering the gentle flower chamomile tea.
     
196. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-29 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-29 Pub. Date: 2017-11-29
Image Number: 165442
Caption: I forgot to tell you "Happy Black Friday." What do you mean, Billy? Isn't that your holiday? Um … you're asking me that because I'm a merchant … Right? I guess so. Oh. That's good. I was about to ask "what are your parents teaching you?" What part of Africa do "merchants" come from?
     
197. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-25 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-25 Pub. Date: 2017-11-25
Image Number: 165181
Caption: Randy? What kind of frat parties do you think they had in ancient Rome? I mean, they wore togas every day. That's easy, little buddy. They'd wear an Akkadian loincloth. The Akkadians were just as ancient as the Romans as the Romans are to us. You seem to know a lot about them. That's because the Randy lineage traces its roots back to the Akkadians. Randush "The Rock" Taylor was a popular loincloth model back then. I can trace my family back to Cleveland.
     
198. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-22 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-22 Pub. Date: 2017-11-22
Image Number: 165178
Caption: Disney's trying to buy Fox. If they did that, then all of Marvel's best heroes would be in the MCU. It would be horrible! The whole Marvel cinematic universe is one big story told by dozens of movies. This would, like, triple the amount of movies I'd have to watch! I'd have to watch every X-Men spinoff to make sure I got every reference made in any Thor or Avengers movie, for instance. HOJ. Your definition of "have to" and my definition of "have to" are very different. I'd have to see them all in 3-D. I'd have to get a second job to afford that.
     
199. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-20 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-20 Pub. Date: 2017-11-20
Image Number: 165176
Caption: Armstrong, an unmarked truck just delivered a pallet of mystery meat. Turkey. It doesn't look like turkey. It looks more like some sort of dehydrated pigeon. What's it matter? If we slap it in a sandwich, smother it in "gravy," and label it "turkey," customers won't know the difference. Wait, did you just think quotes around the word gravy? "no."
     
200. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-19 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-19 Pub. Date: 2017-11-19
Image Number: 164536
Caption: Harrison Ford, no question. Tom Selleck. Without a doubt. I don't care if they did offer Selleck the role first, Ford was a much better "Indiana Jones." I don't care if they did offer Selleck the role first, Ford was a much better "Indiana Jones." Ford was ok, but his character was less that manly. What are you talking about? That's ridiculous! Harrison Ford was the definition of eighties manliness! You're telling me the "definition of eighties manliness" could run around the world for weeks and months at a time ... and never once grow anything more than a little stubble? I think maybe you're a little biased about the whole "big giant mustache" issue. Likewise, my patchy little stubbly friend. On matters of great import, even the philosophers must sometimes agree to disagree. Stop!!! All the greatest philosophers had big mustaches, you know.
     
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