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Rudy Park

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161. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-25 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-25 Pub. Date: 2018-03-25
Image Number: 169194
Caption: Do you think the moon is real? Well … there are tons of videos on Youtube about how the moon's artificial. They point out Apollo astronauts said that when they crashes a ship into it, the moon rang like a bell and it kept vibrating for hours. This is why they say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. You, for instance, know enough about physics to know that manmade metal objects that are hollow inside ring when they're struck ... but you don't know enough to know that the reason earth doesn't ring or vibrate for hours when there's a quake is that our planet's rocks are full of moisture that acts like a sponge, dampening the shockwaves. Not so on the moon. A little knowledge makes you a slave to conspiracy theories. A lot of knowledge makes you their master. You seem to know a lot about this ... that' awfully convenient.
     
162. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-23 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-23 Pub. Date: 2018-03-23
Image Number: 169642
Caption: What's your question for Ask Sadie? What's the most humane way to get squirrels out of my garden? Excellent question. It reminds me of the time one of my ancestors had a similar question. Ironically, she was a spunky flying-squirrel-like creature who prayed to the great acorn to do something about the triceratops that kept stomping her magnolias. My advice: Go great-acorn on those squirrels!!! Did that really happen? It's family lore! I don't question it!
     
163. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-19 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-19 Pub. Date: 2018-03-19
Image Number: 169638
Caption: On today's Ask Sadie Show, we discuss one topic: The Great Recession. You thought it was gone, but Congress is deregulating the crooked Wall Street gangsters who caused it in the first place! This reminds me of the year 1923. An old man who lived in a rain barrel by the five and dime used to shout If'n you brushed yer teeth once, well then you don't have to do it no more. The 1920s was a colorful time. Old Jedediah Toothless was a nincompoop! And so is Congress.
     
164. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-18 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-18 Pub. Date: 2018-03-18
Image Number: 169018
Caption: The James Webb telescope is going to change everything. How so, cretinous oaf? It's going to let us see much farther into deep space than ever before. And the farther we see, the further back in time we're seeing. Do you understand what this means, Sadie? I don't have all day. Get to the point dweeb! It means we'll see the earliest stars and galaxies there ever were. We may even see all the way back to the Big Bang itself. We'll finally know for certain whether it was you. Busted. That singularity had it coming.
     
165. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-16 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-16 Pub. Date: 2018-03-16
Image Number: 169409
Caption: Boss? I got a memo saying you want me to stop looking t so many Sirius Disclosure videos on Youtube. The past few days, you and your online girlfriend have been frequenting those videos and the associated Facebook group. Has it occurred to you that if we really do have contact with aliens ... if there really are twelve races, including reptilians who sign your payche - I mean, who control everything - that there's a reason they're keeping all this a secret? Very. Bad. Man. I've compiled a playlist of cat videos you're free to watch.
     
166. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-14 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-14 Pub. Date: 2018-03-14
Image Number: 169407
Caption: Congratulations, Mort. I noticed your campaign has already raised over $250,000. My what did what now? Very funny. I admire you, Mort. No Democrat has had the guts to take on Congressman Snidely in over 40 years. What are you talking about? I'm not running for anything. You've got a profile page up on the Justice Democrats' website. You're neck-and-neck in the polls. Justice Dem -- Wait a second, I thought I was ordering a t-shirt. I wondered why they had to run a background check for that. You're gonna need a campaign manager.
     
167. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-07 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-07 Pub. Date: 2018-03-07
Image Number: 169197
Caption: The Last Jedi dvd is going to have fourteen deleted scenes! Horrible mistake. The confident creator releases his work to the world and says This is it. This is what I want to show you. He doesn't then show you all the stuff he might have put in the story. Did Prince release the deleted stanza from Little Red Corvette where he also compared her to a Ford Pinto? Wait ... Prince compared a sexy lady to a Ford Pinto? Who knows? That's my point. Aren't you glad you don't know what?
     
168. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-05 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-05 Pub. Date: 2018-03-05
Image Number: 169195
Caption: Hey, little buddy. Did you know that men often confuse a heart attack with a bout of constipation. Go away, Randy! That's why so many men who croak from heart attacks are found in the loo. Go away! The first responders are on their way. I haven't been in here that long!
     
169. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-03 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-03 Pub. Date: 2018-03-03
Image Number: 168938
Caption: I suppose you're wondering why I summoned you, minion. Not really, boss. I've noticed a disturbing trend: Bikinis are getting smaller and smaller. So small, in fact, that they no longer hid anything. I think it's about time our café took a stand and did something to outlaw this moral decay. That's why I've arranged for you to hand "campaign donations" to several city councilmembers. This doesn't have anything to do with our declining donut sales, does it? People should never have to forego life's finer things just to go to the beach.
     
170. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-02-27 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-02-27 Pub. Date: 2018-02-27
Image Number: 168934
Caption: Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? I'm tired of holding my girlfriend's purse while she's shopping. How do I get out of doing that? Simple. Lose her purse. But wouldn't she be mad at me? I'd be in the dog house! Dog house is just the codependent man's way of saying man cave.
     
171. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-02-26 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-02-26 Pub. Date: 2018-02-26
Image Number: 168933
Caption: You gave me the wrong drink. I demand a total refund!! Ok. Where's the drink? What do you mean? I drank it. I wasn't till I was done that I realized it was the wrong drink. The right drink leaves a different aftertaste. You can't finish the drink and then ask for a refund. That's now how it works. You didn't tell me that before I paid for the wrong drink. So that's on you. That's not how it works!
     
172. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-02-24 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-02-24 Pub. Date: 2018-02-24
Image Number: 168671
Caption: Do you believe the world is all an illusion? I know it is. I know it can be bent by our collective will. When I was born, there were horses and buggies in the streets. But as soon as we all believed we could do it, we went to the moon. Oh, I agree. That's why I'm trying to get the whole internet to retweet it's possible to upload our minds into immortal robot bodies. If the entire hive mind of earth tweets that at the same time, it's got to come true. I hope not. I'd hate for you to end up being the most important person in history.
     
173. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-02-23 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-02-23 Pub. Date: 2018-02-23
Image Number: 168670
Caption: No offense, but I'm eternally grateful to know that you stand no chance of ever passing on your genes. That's where you're wrong. I pass on my jeans at least once a year. What do you think Craigslist was invented for? Craigslist? Yeah. Whenever I get bored, I go on there and pass on my jeans. Sometimes I don't even charge anything. Tell me you're not saying what I think you're saying. I'm saying that site is full of people who'd like to get into my pants.
     
174. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-02-18 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-02-18 Pub. Date: 2018-02-18
Image Number: 168052
Caption: When I was a youth, I dreamt of becoming a gangsta rapper who'd someday go legit and found a major record label and sell it for billions to Apple. Dr. Noodle. I never did it, though. I didn't know that career path was really possible. But then Dr. Dre cam along and he did it. That's an awfully specific dream you had. And then there was my Russian dream. I always dreamt of striking out in real estate, then catching the eye of Russian mobsters and foreign banks who'd bail me out if I agreed to launder tons of loot for them ... and then maybe I'd run for high office so I could repay the bank by giving so I could repay the bank by giving it a waiver exempting it from paying some huge fine, and maybe I'd be able to use my office to repay the mafia somehow too. Y'know ... sometimes when we're jealous, we rewrite history and actually believe I thought of that first. Oh, no, I've been laundering money for year -- wait this whole thing is confidential right?
     
175. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-02-14 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-02-14 Pub. Date: 2018-02-14
Image Number: 168443
Caption: I just can't anymore. There is no can't, little buddy. We can do anything we set our mints to unless we give up. When you say I can't, what I hear is I won't. Now there are photos of Richard Dreyfuss groping fans behinds and nether regions. Do you think it's too soon to tweet some Close Encounters of the Fourth Kind jokes. You can't.
     
176. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-02-13 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-02-13 Pub. Date: 2018-02-13
Image Number: 168442
Caption: You wanted to see me, boss? It's come to my attention Youtube demonetizes your videos … and that you're considering asking our patrons to subscribe to your channel so you'll meet the new Youtube threshold for monetization. Obviously, I cannot allow you to do this minion. Soliciting favors from patrons is highly unethical. Wait ... all I did was make a note of the idea on my phone. How did you know I was considering it? That's beside the point.
     
177. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-02-07 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-02-07 Pub. Date: 2018-02-07
Image Number: 168188
Caption: Boss, North Korea's dictator just tweeted that he's considering launching nuclear missiles. He released a map of targets. The map shows that every part of the country will either be destroyed or irradiated. Except for this café. There are like 80 people out there with sleeping bags already. Did you rename the scones Survival Biscuits as I instructed? And did you know six-year-old geniuses will hack a head of state's Twitter account in return for a single bag of Doritos? Very bad man.
     
178. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-02-06 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-02-06 Pub. Date: 2018-02-06
Image Number: 168187
Caption: I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy. Which part do you miss most? Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what tv shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission? Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors.
     
179. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-02-04 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-02-04 Pub. Date: 2018-02-04
Image Number: 167390
Caption: I've been thinking about how out of control things have gotten, minion. This won't end well. This is a land of immigrants. But the republic elected a leader who says things like "Why are we having all these people from censored countries come here?" … A president who says we need more people form countries like Norway. Who said "Why do we need more Haitians? Take them out." ... A guy who said some of the white supremacists with torches in Charlottesville were very fine people." A guy who tweeted an image during his campaign that suggested the vast majority of white murder victims are killed by black people, when in reality they're mostly killed by white people. A guy who shouts about every single instance of Muslim terrorism, but was totally silent when the DOJ charged a white supremacist with terrorism ... but he's good on taxes for the 1%, so it evens out ... Get back to work, lackey, my gold coins won't polish themselves. Wait ... you were serious about that?
     
180. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-02-01 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-02-01 Pub. Date: 2018-02-01
Image Number: 167932
Caption: Rudy, it's come to my attention you've spilled 348 gallons of coffee and tea. What? I did not! I'm talking over the course of the last 16 years. Don't bother denying it, every time you've spilled a drop, Gunther measured it. Gunther? Who's Gunther? That's what I named him. He came here on a low-skilled work visa. He's been working under the floorboards ever since it expired. Very bad man.
     
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