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Rudy Park

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141. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-16 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-16 Pub. Date: 2018-04-16
Image Number: 170592
Caption: Sadie, I can't stop checking my phone. Every alert is starting to feel historic. For the first time, I'm not sure whether our system of government is going to survive. What will they uncover about the president? What will the president do in return? If he falls, what will his followers do? Is this how it felt when you kept checking the cave paintings for news of the latest mastodon hunt? Sadie smash.
     
142. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-15 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-15 Pub. Date: 2018-04-15
Image Number: 170066
Caption: Find me news about the Russiagate investigation. 841 news stories found. Specify date of broadcast. Today would be fine. Are you sure you would not rather see a broadcast from the future, when the results of the investigation are in? You can do that? Oh my god ... do you mean time isn't linear after all? Do you mean disembodied A.I. is free to move back and forth, like quarks can? I mean you should leave me alone until the results are in. (Sigh) fine ... Just show me anything that isn't about Russiagate. Processing ...
     
143. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-13 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-13 Pub. Date: 2018-04-13
Image Number: 170360
Caption: Why do people say they're lying through their teeth? It's just an expression. Yeah, but it makes me think of defendants, who lie through their lawyers. Then it makes me think of my teeth as little lawyers. And that makes me not want to brush them, just in case they sue me for unnecessary roughness. When's the last time you brushed your teeth? Let me think ... was this a leap year?
     
144. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-12 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-12 Pub. Date: 2018-04-12
Image Number: 170359
Caption: Rudy, I suppose you're wondering why I've requested a saliva sample. I am, boss. Employers can't be too careful these days, Rudy. How do I know you're not on smack? How do I knew you're even you? You could be an Isis-trained imposter who's done away with the real Rudy. I'm not Isis. If you have nothing to hide, you wont mind spitting into my beaker.
     
145. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-07 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-07 Pub. Date: 2018-04-07
Image Number: 170209
Caption: How was your date last night, little buddy? I'm not sure. We were having a great time, laughing, joking … when out of nowhere she said that's rude. That's what I asked. She answered you're acting all annoyed all of a sudden. I said Why? She said … You sighed. Please tell me your response was simply I didn't mean anything by it. I helpfully informed her that a sigh is a reflexive bodily function we do subconsciously several times an hour to reinflate the alveoli in our lungs to allow for the transport of oxygen and carbon dioxide. Sigh.
     
146. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-06 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-06 Pub. Date: 2018-04-06
Image Number: 170208
Caption: Ask Sadie Advice Hour. What's your problem?! I don't want to vaccinate my kids. But my husband does. What do I do? Excellent question. It reminds me of the time Mother Cohen and Father Cohen were arguing about vaccinating us kids. Father Cohen accused her of being a pawn of the Illuminati's attempt to use diphtheria to mutate us into ape-people. Mother Cohen accused him of being anti-Darwinian. That's when Father Cohen brought up her illicit fling with Chuck Darwin, and all heck broke loose. Um ... thanks?
     
147. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-05 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-05 Pub. Date: 2018-04-05
Image Number: 170207
Caption: Remington is filing for bankruptcy. They're going away. No they're not. The gun manufacturer is just filing for chapter 11 bankruptcy. It'll let them stay in business and weasel out of paying their creditors at the same time. Lots of businesses do it, all the time. It's the American way. Maybe I'll declare chapter 11 so I can weasel out too. Don't be foolish, the American way is for corporate citizens, not citizen-citizens.
     
148. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-02 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-02 Pub. Date: 2018-04-02
Image Number: 170204
Caption: Today's lesson for the lustful man is called Do As the Ladies Do. Part One: The Look. If you spot someone who's super-hot, don't stare. Look away and watch her using your peripheral vision only. You'll find peripheral vision exercises on page 47 of my new book: How to survive and thrive in the #Metoo era. It's the latest in my best-selling Randy's MANuals series. Available in bookstores and mancaves near you.
     
149. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-26 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-26 Pub. Date: 2018-03-26
Image Number: 169897
Caption: Sadie, I just heard something disturbing, and I think you're the only one who can tell me whether it's true. Youtube is telling me I've lived 300 years of phantom time. Pope Gregory XIII's math was off when he created our calendar, and this is actually the year 1717. What's more, the Middle Ages is just a fiction the pope created to explain his rounding error. You were there, Sadie ... did King Arthur really exist? I'll tell you about that nice boy, as soon as I demonstrate how we dealt with heretics.
     
150. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-25 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-25 Pub. Date: 2018-03-25
Image Number: 169194
Caption: Do you think the moon is real? Well … there are tons of videos on Youtube about how the moon's artificial. They point out Apollo astronauts said that when they crashes a ship into it, the moon rang like a bell and it kept vibrating for hours. This is why they say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. You, for instance, know enough about physics to know that manmade metal objects that are hollow inside ring when they're struck ... but you don't know enough to know that the reason earth doesn't ring or vibrate for hours when there's a quake is that our planet's rocks are full of moisture that acts like a sponge, dampening the shockwaves. Not so on the moon. A little knowledge makes you a slave to conspiracy theories. A lot of knowledge makes you their master. You seem to know a lot about this ... that' awfully convenient.
     
151. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-23 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-23 Pub. Date: 2018-03-23
Image Number: 169642
Caption: What's your question for Ask Sadie? What's the most humane way to get squirrels out of my garden? Excellent question. It reminds me of the time one of my ancestors had a similar question. Ironically, she was a spunky flying-squirrel-like creature who prayed to the great acorn to do something about the triceratops that kept stomping her magnolias. My advice: Go great-acorn on those squirrels!!! Did that really happen? It's family lore! I don't question it!
     
152. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-19 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-19 Pub. Date: 2018-03-19
Image Number: 169638
Caption: On today's Ask Sadie Show, we discuss one topic: The Great Recession. You thought it was gone, but Congress is deregulating the crooked Wall Street gangsters who caused it in the first place! This reminds me of the year 1923. An old man who lived in a rain barrel by the five and dime used to shout If'n you brushed yer teeth once, well then you don't have to do it no more. The 1920s was a colorful time. Old Jedediah Toothless was a nincompoop! And so is Congress.
     
153. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-18 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-18 Pub. Date: 2018-03-18
Image Number: 169018
Caption: The James Webb telescope is going to change everything. How so, cretinous oaf? It's going to let us see much farther into deep space than ever before. And the farther we see, the further back in time we're seeing. Do you understand what this means, Sadie? I don't have all day. Get to the point dweeb! It means we'll see the earliest stars and galaxies there ever were. We may even see all the way back to the Big Bang itself. We'll finally know for certain whether it was you. Busted. That singularity had it coming.
     
154. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-16 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-16 Pub. Date: 2018-03-16
Image Number: 169409
Caption: Boss? I got a memo saying you want me to stop looking t so many Sirius Disclosure videos on Youtube. The past few days, you and your online girlfriend have been frequenting those videos and the associated Facebook group. Has it occurred to you that if we really do have contact with aliens ... if there really are twelve races, including reptilians who sign your payche - I mean, who control everything - that there's a reason they're keeping all this a secret? Very. Bad. Man. I've compiled a playlist of cat videos you're free to watch.
     
155. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-14 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-14 Pub. Date: 2018-03-14
Image Number: 169407
Caption: Congratulations, Mort. I noticed your campaign has already raised over $250,000. My what did what now? Very funny. I admire you, Mort. No Democrat has had the guts to take on Congressman Snidely in over 40 years. What are you talking about? I'm not running for anything. You've got a profile page up on the Justice Democrats' website. You're neck-and-neck in the polls. Justice Dem -- Wait a second, I thought I was ordering a t-shirt. I wondered why they had to run a background check for that. You're gonna need a campaign manager.
     
156. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-07 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-07 Pub. Date: 2018-03-07
Image Number: 169197
Caption: The Last Jedi dvd is going to have fourteen deleted scenes! Horrible mistake. The confident creator releases his work to the world and says This is it. This is what I want to show you. He doesn't then show you all the stuff he might have put in the story. Did Prince release the deleted stanza from Little Red Corvette where he also compared her to a Ford Pinto? Wait ... Prince compared a sexy lady to a Ford Pinto? Who knows? That's my point. Aren't you glad you don't know what?
     
157. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-05 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-05 Pub. Date: 2018-03-05
Image Number: 169195
Caption: Hey, little buddy. Did you know that men often confuse a heart attack with a bout of constipation. Go away, Randy! That's why so many men who croak from heart attacks are found in the loo. Go away! The first responders are on their way. I haven't been in here that long!
     
158. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-03 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-03 Pub. Date: 2018-03-03
Image Number: 168938
Caption: I suppose you're wondering why I summoned you, minion. Not really, boss. I've noticed a disturbing trend: Bikinis are getting smaller and smaller. So small, in fact, that they no longer hid anything. I think it's about time our café took a stand and did something to outlaw this moral decay. That's why I've arranged for you to hand "campaign donations" to several city councilmembers. This doesn't have anything to do with our declining donut sales, does it? People should never have to forego life's finer things just to go to the beach.
     
159. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-02-27 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-02-27 Pub. Date: 2018-02-27
Image Number: 168934
Caption: Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? I'm tired of holding my girlfriend's purse while she's shopping. How do I get out of doing that? Simple. Lose her purse. But wouldn't she be mad at me? I'd be in the dog house! Dog house is just the codependent man's way of saying man cave.
     
160. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-02-26 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-02-26 Pub. Date: 2018-02-26
Image Number: 168933
Caption: You gave me the wrong drink. I demand a total refund!! Ok. Where's the drink? What do you mean? I drank it. I wasn't till I was done that I realized it was the wrong drink. The right drink leaves a different aftertaste. You can't finish the drink and then ask for a refund. That's now how it works. You didn't tell me that before I paid for the wrong drink. So that's on you. That's not how it works!
     
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