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Rudy Park

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421. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-02 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-02 Pub. Date: 2016-04-02
Image Number: 141150
Caption: It just occurred to me, all the best slang terms for "idiot" are derived from words that mean mumble-mumble. What was that, little buddy? I didn't quite hear you. I can't say it out loud. It's part of the male anatomy. You can't say such things in mixed company. Anyway, why do all the best slang terms for "idiot" also mean mumble-mumble? Well, that question pretty much answers itself.
     
422. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-01 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-01 Pub. Date: 2016-04-01
Image Number: 141149
Caption: It's the "Ask Sadie" advice hour. "Holden" in Dallas, you're on. What's your problem?! I've been trying to get my wife to watch "The Expanse" on Syfy channel, but she refuses to even give it a chance. She won't watch any of my favorite shows with me. What can I do? YOU CAN GET A LIFE. Or you can continue to bug her about your tv shows, she can leave you for a romantic, oiled-up helicopter pilot, and you can watch your shows with your pet goldfish. I don't have a goldfish.
     
423. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-25 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-25 Pub. Date: 2016-03-25
Image Number: 140830
Caption: You know what I just noticed, Sadie? We've never seen both you and Donald Trump together in the same room at the same time. I'm not following. What are you trying to say? Never mind, I'm not that interested. You're not a very insightful person. And nobody likes you. You're a mental lightweight who has no business talking to smart people. Do me a favor ... take off your glasses for a second. Nothing doing. You weak, dopey loser!
     
424. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-23 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-23 Pub. Date: 2016-03-23
Image Number: 140828
Caption: What were you doing during the Iraq war, Randy? What are you talking about? We knew each other back then. That was like 10 or 13 years ago. You can't expect me to remember every little detail about something that happened so long ago. I regularly delete old memory files to make room for all the new data constantly coming my way via Facebook, tweets, Instagram, etc. I wish I didn't have to do that. I wish I could just expand my storage by sticking a flash drive in my nose. Why don't you try? Maybe it'll work.
     
425. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-18 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-18 Pub. Date: 2016-03-18
Image Number: 140525
Caption: Did you ever have a brother or sister, Mort? Did I! I was the youngest of fourteen brothers. In my parents' day, it was normal to have entire letters of younguns. Aside from high infant mortality, people needed help on the farms. I didn't know you grew up on a farm, Mort. I didn't. Mama and Papa Park were just frisky. I guess there wasn't much else to do in the olden days.
     
426. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-13 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-13 Pub. Date: 2016-03-13
Image Number: 139688
Caption: Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Send your questions to asksadie@rudypark.com. Dear Ask Sadie, My best friend chews, loudly, with his mouth open. It embarrasses me every time we eat out. I'm afraid if I point it out, it'll ruin our friendship. Do you have any suggestions as to how I can get the point across without hurting his feelings? - Andrea in Anaheim. Excellent question. Here's what you do ... Next time you eat lunch with your friend, bring a newspaper. Every time he chews with his mouth open, roll up the newspaper and swat him on the nose with it. Then say "it works for my poodle." If he laughs instead of pressing charges, you'll know you've got a real friend. *MGMT accepts no responsibility for the possibly horrendous consequences of Sadie Cohen's advice, use at your own risk.
     
427. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-11 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-11 Pub. Date: 2016-03-11
Image Number: 140201
Caption: Why do people say they're "lying through their teeth"? It's just an expression. Yeah, but it makes me think of defendants, who lie through their lawyers. Then it makes me think of my teeth as little lawyers. And that makes me not want to brush them, just in case they sue me for unnecessary roughness. When's the last time you brushed your teeth? Let me think ... was this a leap year?
     
428. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-10 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-10 Pub. Date: 2016-03-10
Image Number: 140200
Caption: Rudy, I suppose you're wondering why I've requested a saliva sample. I am, boss. Businessman of the Year. Armstrong Maynard. Employers can't be too careful these days, Rudy. How do I know you're not on smack? How do I know you're even you? You could be an ISIS-trained impostor who's done away with the real Rudy. I'm not ISIS. If you have nothing to hide, you won't mind spitting into my beaker.
     
429. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-06 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-06 Pub. Date: 2016-03-06
Image Number: 139362
Caption: Breaking news! The Brazilian Zika virus is spreading explosively! Experts say it could be a bigger global health threat that Ebola! Most people infected with the disease won't feel any symptoms at all and those who do will probably just think it's a minor cold, experts say. Of course, if you're pregnant or may get pregnant, the virus may give your child a tiny microcephalic head. Otherwise no biggee. Wait ... what? Experts say concern over this calamitous virus is overblown. This is really no big deal at all. MAKE UP YOUR MINDS!!! Experts say this mostly innocuous virus could ravage the entire globe.
     
430. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-29 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-29 Pub. Date: 2016-02-29
Image Number: 139842
Caption: Sadie, I just heard something disturbing, and I think you're the only one who can tell me whether it's true. Youtube is telling me we've lived 300 years of phantom time. Pope Gregory XIII's math was off when he created our calendar, and this is actually the year 1717. What's more, the "Middle Ages" is just a fiction the pope created to explain his rounding error. You were there, Sadie ... Did King Arthur really exist? I'll tell you all about that nice boy, as soon as I demonstrate how we dealt with heretics.
     
431. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-27 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-27 Pub. Date: 2016-02-27
Image Number: 139583
Caption: I can't believe it. My band's new album sold a million copies on iTunes. I'm rich! First thing I'm going to do is buy a mansion with twelve rooms, each with its own Playstation and Xbox that my butler will play for me. You might not want to spend any of that money just yet, little buddy. You might need it for the settlement. What settlement? I'm not sure it was entirely legal to name your album "Beyonce's New Album." I added "sarcastic quotes" around it, so it'll be fine.
     
432. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-26 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-26 Pub. Date: 2016-02-26
Image Number: 139582
Caption: Do you think it's too late for me to go to law school and position myself for an appointment to the Supreme Court? Yes, unfortunately. You'd have to go back in time and start preparing early. By that I mean WAY back. As in you'd have to ensure that the cells that formed you had genes that would give you intellectual curiosity, above-average intelligence, and ambition. But you do still have time to become a layabout. You seem to have prepared very well for that. What? You'd still get to wear a robe all day.
     
433. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-23 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-23 Pub. Date: 2016-02-23
Image Number: 139579
Caption: How many people do you think will mourn for you when you're dead, Randy? Good question, little buddy. I live out loud. I've ridden a motorcycle across five continents, making countless friends along the way. I've conducted passionate love affairs in six languages, and taught the ancient art of seduction to sold-out crowds in two hemispheres. As a youth I delivered pizza to lonely housewives, for whom I host an annual reunion in Vegas. A man who lives his life out loud will leave thousands of mourners when he dies. What about a man who lives his life on mute?
     
434. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-18 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-18 Pub. Date: 2016-02-18
Image Number: 139255
Caption: I don't know how to tell you this, but … I've been watching "Supergirl." Nothing wrong with that. A real man isn't afraid to look up to a woman hero. Women heroes are the best, because not only do they have to conquer villains, they also have to put up with those villains ogling them. Captain America never had to tell The Red Skull "Hey, my face is up here" while he was pummeling him. Women superheroes are also paid less. ... Except Wonder Woman. The last guy who tried to pay her less was never heard from again.
     
435. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-16 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-16 Pub. Date: 2016-02-16
Image Number: 139253
Caption: I've decided I'm going to be positive all the time. What do you mean? Every major religion believes it's possible to speak things into existence. If you say you're a failure, you eventually become a failure. But if you SAY you're a winner over and over again, you can actually talk the universe into believing it. It'll make you a winner no matter how often you go bankrupt. So you agree Trump's going to win?
     
436. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-14 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-14 Pub. Date: 2016-02-14
Image Number: 138417
Caption: Triple espresso, por favor. I didn't know you spoke Spanish, Uncle Mort. Yo no soy tu tio Mort. Yo soy otra persona. You know the doctors said you can't have caffeine, Uncle Mort. Yo no soy "tio Mort." Me llamo Fernando Rubio … Cruz … Valenzuela … Alcaraz ... Y ademas, los medicos no ... um ... no ... y ademas, los medicos no ... Dang it! How do you say "And besides, the doctors don't know what they're talking about" in Spanish?! You have no evidence I'm not Fernando Rubio Cruz Valenzuela Alcaraz!! One Gentle Flower Chamomile Tea, coming up.
     
437. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-12 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-12 Pub. Date: 2016-02-12
Image Number: 138887
Caption: I hope Bernie Sanders wins. We've never had a president like him. We've had cool presidents, awkward presidents, dignified presidents, goofy presidents … but we've never had a curmudgeonly president. How do you know? John Adams looked pretty curmudgeonly. Presidents who were around before film or tv don't count. For all we know, they never even really existed. HOJ. We really should have our own political talk show. Theodore Roosevelt was a little bit curmudgeonly.
     
438. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-09 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-09 Pub. Date: 2016-02-09
Image Number: 138884
Caption: The president's sending heavy weapons to Europe to counter Russia. Do you know what this means, Randy? It means there's still a chance I'll live to see the postapocalyptic world the movies promised me when I was a kid. I'll get to drive buggies around deserts, play hide and seek with mutant barbarians in the ruins of major cities ... You think it'll be hard to charge my phone in the postapocalypse? Probably, since it'll be melted into your hand.
     
439. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-07 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-07 Pub. Date: 2016-02-07
Image Number: 138065
Caption: I'm thinking of open-carrying. Forget it, little buddy. The last thing anyone needs is for you to be running around armed. You don't know the first thing about firearm safety. Who said anything about firearms? I'm talking about open-carrying my iPad. STOP! There's nothing more disgusting than a geek who thinks he's a technology cowboy wearing his gadgets like they're weapons. Stop the madness! What do you think, Randy: Hip holster, thigh holster, or shoulder sling? STOP!!! A real man would just dangle it from his belt.
     
440. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-06 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-06 Pub. Date: 2016-02-06
Image Number: 138615
Caption: Do you believe the world is all an illusion? I know it is. I know it can be bent by our collective will. When I was born, there were horses and buggies in the streets. But as soon as we all believed we could do it, we went to the moon. Oh, I agree. That's why I'm trying to get the whole internet to retweet "It's possible to upload our minds into immortal robot bodies." If the entire hive mind of earth tweets that at the same time, it's got to come true. I hope not. I'd hate for you to end up being the most important person in history.
     
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