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Rudy Park

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401. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-06-02 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-06-02 Pub. Date: 2016-06-02
Image Number: 143939
Caption: Come in, minion. Did you read that Lemont Brown article from Candorville.com? The one about Delores Park in San Francisco? Apparently you can now reserve a patch of grass for seven hours if you go to the city's website and pay up to $250. If anyone trespasses on your grass, security guards will roust them. This is the biggest breakthrough in the separation of the classes in ages. I'm going to make all our booths and toilets paid-reservation-only. Very bad man.
     
402. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-27 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-27 Pub. Date: 2016-05-27
Image Number: 143659
Caption: I was about to ask you which era you'd want to live in if you could live in any era of history. What do you mean you were "about" to? Well, the answer is supposed to be playful speculation. But with you, it would be cheating … because you've lived through every era of history. Keep it up and you're not going to live through this one.
     
403. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-25 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-25 Pub. Date: 2016-05-25
Image Number: 143657
Caption: I've been giving some more thought to your question about in which era in history I'd most like to live. You have? I thought you never change your mind about anything. This is true. Randy's alpha male or female rule number 1: "Make a decision and stick with it even it it's really dumb." HOJ. " ... Appearing indecisive is the kiss of death." But you're forgetting the corollary ... "If you do change your mind, claim you've always believed as you do now." " ... and anyone who thinks otherwise is crazy." Can't believe I forgot that part.
     
404. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-23 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-23 Pub. Date: 2016-05-23
Image Number: 143655
Caption: Do you ever wish you lived in a different era, Randy? It's safer to keep me where I am. Injecting my advanced virility into more primitive eras could have disastrous effects on the timeline. Well … every waking moment I wish I were living before the beginning of existence itself. So I could witness the big bang. That way I could know for sure whether our universe is all just one big simulation running on some geek's computer. I mean, everything being made up of atoms of math is kind of suspicious. We really should have our own science show.
     
405. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-20 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-20 Pub. Date: 2016-05-20
Image Number: 143354
Caption: What's your favorite planet, Randy? There is only one answer, little buddy. There is only one planet full of lush, green forests and beautiful, windswept ocean vistas … all of which are natural aphrodisiacs that inspire lovers, philosophers and poets. You know, Pandora is not a real planet. I'm talking about earth, you ... do you ever go outside?
     
406. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-17 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-17 Pub. Date: 2016-05-17
Image Number: 143351
Caption: We found three sort-of earth-size planets around a nearby star. Do you think any of them have video games? I've been trying to work out the odds of an intelligent species arising and evolving thumbs capable of holding an XBox controller. Proof of video games would change everything. I wonder what the aliens on those planets consider sexy. Living beings creating simulated beings they can smash is the hallmark of an intelligent species.
     
407. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-12 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-12 Pub. Date: 2016-05-12
Image Number: 143042
Caption: What's your earliest memory, Sadie? You cannot get under my skin, loser. Maybe I can help you figure it out: were people wearing powdered wigs, or were they wearing togas? Did they live in primitive huts or in trees? I'm not listening! Were they standing upright or swimming in primordial sea? You're about to be swimming in primordial soup.
     
408. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-09 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-09 Pub. Date: 2016-05-09
Image Number: 143039
Caption: I bet you've filled your head with so many tweets and Instagrams that you've crowded out all your actual memories of your own life. Nonsense. I remember way back, all the way to … well let's see … oh, I've got it … My earliest memory was opening an America Online cd, putting it in our old PC, and seeing that symbol. You do realize that was the 1990s don't you? You must have already been in your teens. You are a very sick generation! I get misty-eyed when I think back to "you've got mail!"
     
409. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-08 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-08 Pub. Date: 2016-05-08
Image Number: 142234
Caption: What can I get you? An explanation for that dumb reason why Batman and Superman stopped fighting at the end of Batman V Superman. Would you like that spoiler-filled or spoiler-free? Spoiler-filled would be lovely, please. Ok. Batman did not stop fighting Superman just because both of their moms were named "Martha." "Martha" was not just a person. In Batman's nightmares, "Martha" had come to represent all that was good about him. When Superman whispered "Martha," it did two things: It forced Batman to see Superman as a person who - even as he was about to die - was only concerned with the safety of his human mother. So maybe he's not the alien monster who needs to die that Batman had thought he was ... And secondly, it reminded Batman of the good that used to be in him. The goodness "Martha" personified. Batman was on the verge of becoming a bad guy. When he swore "Martha will not die tonight," he was not just promising to save Clark's mom. he was promising to save his own soul. That'll be $14.95. Can I also get a side of explaining why Captain America and Iron Man can't just agree to disagree?
     
410. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-06 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-06 Pub. Date: 2016-05-06
Image Number: 142740
Caption: Wanna come over and watch the big game? No can do, little buddy. Baseball is a gentleman's sport where they tap a tiny ball and then trot around. I don't consider any game a "big game" unless there's a chance one player could accidentally squeeze another player's spine out of his nose like toothpaste from a tube. Beach volleyball is also watchable. I was actually talking about the new "Pac-Man Vs. Superman" X-Box game.
     
411. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-03 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-03 Pub. Date: 2016-05-03
Image Number: 142737
Caption: The new Avengers movie is going to be better than the new X-Men movie because it's not about saving the whole world. Yeah. People are tired of blockbusters where the fate of the whole world is at stake. That's why "The Martian" did so well. It was only about the fate of Matt Damon and his potato garden. I want to see a movie where aliens try to conquer Venus and nobody cares. We really should have our own movie review show.
     
412. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-02 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-02 Pub. Date: 2016-05-02
Image Number: 142736
Caption: Do you validate? What? No, there's not parking lot. It's just street parking and that's free. I know. But I came in to get a coffee yesterday morning at 7:59. The line was so long that I didn't get out of here till 8:02. Apparently you had street cleaning that started at 8a.m. I'm not following. It was your long line. The least you could do is validate the parking ticket they gave me. Get out.
     
413. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-01 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-01 Pub. Date: 2016-05-01
Image Number: 141911
Caption: Can I use your wi-fi? Of course. Did you buy something? In a manner of speaking. I bought a Snickers bar last month at the 7-11 over in Candorville. So I'm basically a paying customer. I'm not following. My money went to pay the clerk's salary. A few days later, that clerk bought a magazine at a newsstand. The proprietor of the newsstand later used that money when he went to a massage parlor. He tipped the masseuse $65. The masseuse later took a bus to our town, where she bought a latter in this very establishment. I'm a customer thrice-removed. Ok. The password is "password."
     
414. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-25 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-25 Pub. Date: 2016-04-25
Image Number: 142427
Caption: Boss, there's a truck outside full of penguins. What's going on? Are you wired? Are you or are you not asking me this on behalf of any law enforcement agency? If I ask you that, you have to tell me. It's a rule. Never mind. I don't think I want to know what's going on. Did you know underground zoos will pay a fortune for black-market penguins?
     
415. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-17 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-17 Pub. Date: 2016-04-17
Image Number: 141249
Caption: What's your most popular drink? Why do you want to know? Why base your order on what other people are buying? Don't be a follower. Be your own man. If you're unfamiliar with a drink, ask what's in it and decide for yourself whether that sounds good. Or better yet, live a little. Take a risk. Choose a drink you've never had at random and see where it takes you. You only have one life. Don't live it following in the footsteps of other people. That's kind of harsh. No, it's the name of the drink.
     
416. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-16 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-16 Pub. Date: 2016-04-16
Image Number: 141819
Caption: You short-changed me when I paid for my drink last week. Are you sure? Of course I'm sure. You gave me change for $10, but I now I gave you more than a ten-dollar bill. Sorry about that. How much did you give me? I distinctly remember I had nothing but $1,000 bills in my wallet. Not falling for it.
     
417. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-09 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-09 Pub. Date: 2016-04-09
Image Number: 141530
Caption: I think you charged my Mastercard twice by mistake for that drink last month. Do you have the receipt? Who keeps a café receipt for a whole month? That's crazy talk. Oh. No problem. Do you have your Mastercard statement? They went out of business, so I can't print that out. Get out.
     
418. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-07 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-07 Pub. Date: 2016-04-07
Image Number: 141528
Caption: This is Dr. Sadie, what's your question, caller? Where do you think I should invest my tax refund? That's a great question. In my day, most people would've opted to put the funds into your standard Serta, or even a newfangled Posturepedic. Those people were morons. The more forward-thinking investor knew she'd run less of a risk of bed bugs eating her fortune if she went with a La-Z-Boy. Um ... ok, ... thanks.
     
419. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-05 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-05 Pub. Date: 2016-04-05
Image Number: 141526
Caption: This is the Ask Sadie Show. You're on, caller. What's your problem? Movie critics. "Batman V Superman" was a good film. But the critics tore it apart. A lot of the criticism was petty. Like this one critic who said "Henry Cavill is the sexiest log to ever star in a movie. And Zack Snyder isn't fit to direct traffic." Hey ... I call it like I see it. Did you see it? That's beside the point.
     
420. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-03 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-03 Pub. Date: 2016-04-03
Image Number: 140631
Caption: I think it's time this café showed its commitment to LGBT rights. Ok. How, boss? Well, there's all this controversy over whether to allow people who are transgender to choose which restroom they want to use. And I think the whole discussion is demeaning and insulting to them. It's divisive. We should all be coming together to recognize that now matter what we are - male, female, or whatever - we're all one people. That's why I'm eliminating the bathrooms altogether, and putting a bucket out in the alley. The immense amount of money I'll save on water, paper towels, and toilet maintenance has nothing to do with this. I assume I'll win some sort of award for this. Very bad man.
     
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