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Rudy Park

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341. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-06 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-06 Pub. Date: 2016-11-06
Image Number: 150036
Caption: Can I have a little water? That'll be $8. What? A cup of water is supposed to be free. It's free everywhere. Menu. Exactly. And just look at the state of America today. Bridges and roads crumbling, Obamacare costs skyrocketing … people leaving pets in hot cars, a totally dysfunctional Congress, $16 movie tickets, terrorism ... What's any of that have to do with free water?! Who knows? But we don't know that it doesn't have something to do with free water. Please ... I'm so thirsty! Fine ... whatever. $8. Trying something new even if it's repugnant is how we're going to get this country back on track.
     
342. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-05 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-05 Pub. Date: 2016-11-05
Image Number: 150488
Caption: I made fun of your age the other day. I'd like to apologize. That's odd. Does the blade of grass apologize to the lawnmower? Does the bug apologize to the windshield? Does the ant apologize to the boot? Those are some interesting analogies. Did they make more sense back in the middle ages when you first came up with them? I sense a boot coming
     
343. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-03 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-03 Pub. Date: 2016-11-03
Image Number: 150486
Caption: I've been thinking about how Donald Trump said he might not accept the results of the election if he loses. Everyone says we've got a tradition of the loser accepting the results of our elections. So what I'm asking you is, is that true? I ask 'cause you're the only one I know who's personally witnessed all 57 of America's presidential elections. Could you repeat all that? I was distracted by the part where you said you've been "thinking." I don't have a good comeback for that. How about Lincoln, did he have good comebacks?
     
344. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-30 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-30 Pub. Date: 2016-10-30
Image Number: 149731
Caption: How do I love thee? Let me count the ways … Open Mike Night Presents Sadie Cohen. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my ladle can reach … When feeling hungry for the crunch of crouton and ideal lettuce. I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need ... by cheesy bread and chicken wing. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I eat of thee freely, and then, at four, 'tis goodnight. O Sizzler salad bar, how do I love thee? I'm hungry.
     
345. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-27 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-27 Pub. Date: 2016-10-27
Image Number: 150209
Caption: I suppose you're wondering why I summoned you to the café at midnight, minion. Not really. They're keeping the voting machines in a warehouse on the outskirts of town. I'm not telling you to break in … and I'm not telling you to make it look like anti-Trump Communist illegal immigrants from China and Mexico rigged the machines on behalf of ISIS to elect Hillary Clinton. Does this have anything to do with all those "Trump was robbed" cupcakes you had me order? I'm not telling you that.
     
346. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-26 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-26 Pub. Date: 2016-10-26
Image Number: 150208
Caption: What's your question for "Ask Sadie"? How do I talk my wife out of booking a vacation to Syria? Excellent question. It reminds me of the time I vacationed in the Monte Cassino monastery in Italy, in 1944. I had the entire place to myself … There was canasta, and Scrabble, and an excellent view of the Allied assault on the Germans' Gustav line. Man up! A little mortars and rubble never hurt anyone. They are offering discount packages.
     
347. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-25 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-25 Pub. Date: 2016-10-25
Image Number: 150207
Caption: Uranus always gets a bad rap. Tap tap tap tap tap. What do you mean, dorkboy? I mean, no matter how mature people think they are, they always, always want to chuckle when they say "Uranus." Come on, Sadie. You know you want to smirk, even if it's in secret. What if I told you Uranus is slightly bigger than Neptune? Not chuckling! Uranus is always the butt of the joke.
     
348. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-24 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-24 Pub. Date: 2016-10-24
Image Number: 150206
Caption: They just found two more dark moons around Uranus. Are you winding up to some sort of sophomoric joke? No, they really do think they found two new moons there. Kind of suspicious, if you ask me. As long as I can remember, Uranus had 27 moons, and the Solar System had 9 planets, including Pluto. Now those numbers change all the time. Next thing you know, they'll be telling us we have to Uranuses. Yeah ... pretty sure you're winding up to some sort of sophomoric joke.
     
349. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-22 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-22 Pub. Date: 2016-10-22
Image Number: 149921
Caption: This is the Ask Sadie Show. You're on, caller. What's your problem? Well … I hate that! I don't have time for anyone who starts a sentence with such wimpy nonsense! Um … Stop it! Anything you preface with a "well" or an "um" has a 95% probability of being complete hogwash! Just stop it! You do it one more time and I'm tracking you down! Uh ...
     
350. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-21 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-21 Pub. Date: 2016-10-21
Image Number: 149920
Caption: I was here just last month. Could you give me a returning-customer discount? I mean, it's the least you could do for such a loyal customer. Not really. The least I could do is nothing. You've just lost all my business. Get out.
     
351. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-20 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-20 Pub. Date: 2016-10-20
Image Number: 149919
Caption: I've decided. I know who I'm voting for, Randy. Do tell, little buddy. Well, I decided that in order to truly be better than the rest of you, I'd have to be completely above political parties or any one ideology. So I've decided to vote for George Washington. He's the only candidate who was never in a party and had no ideology. Even if that were true, isn't being against ideology an ideology? Don't try to propagandize me with your anti-anti-ideology ideology.
     
352. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-15 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-15 Pub. Date: 2016-10-15
Image Number: 149626
Caption: You know what job I'd really like to do? Vice president. You get to live at the beautiful U.S. Naval observatory. You get to ride in a limo. You get all the perks the president gets … but nobody expects anything of you. I think that was before Dick Cheney. The exception that made everyone long for the rule.
     
353. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-14 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-14 Pub. Date: 2016-10-14
Image Number: 149625
Caption: Where do you see yourself five years from today, dork-boy? 43 Breen Road. What are you talking about? It's where everyone wants to go. It's the most popular AirBnB in San Francisco. The earliest opening they had was five years from today. Just book a hotel. Hotels are so 2007.
     
354. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-10 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-10 Pub. Date: 2016-10-10
Image Number: 149621
Caption: Hi, this is click-whistle-chirp. Hi. … wait, who? Did you know humans are not the only sentient species on earth? Almost every species is sentient, contrary to thousands of years of racist propaganda. They think, they feel pain, they act with intent, they feel emotions ... especially the octopods. Never get on an octopus's bad side. House of Java Cybercafe. They've just never felt the needs to speak human languages before. Before? Before what? ... Wait ... am I talking to a dolphin? The sentient species of the earth would like you to please consider not voting for Donald Trump.
     
355. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-08 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-08 Pub. Date: 2016-10-08
Image Number: 149323
Caption: Think I'll be a more effective alpha male if I learn to play pool? That's one of those things you always see an alpha male do: Stand around a pool hall polishing his stick and racking up the balls … sizing up his shot, like he's secretly a geometric wizard who's about to make the whole world line up the way he wants it to with just one whack. Or maybe I should take up darts, where I myself become an extension of the missile I'm launching. Any sport in the bar family works.
     
356. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-07 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-07 Pub. Date: 2016-10-07
Image Number: 149322
Caption: It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. "John" in New York, you're on. What's your problem? House of Java Cybercafe. I keep thinking back to the first debate between Trump and crooked Hillary. The more I think about it, the more fantastic I think Trump did. He was strong. Tremendous. Big-league. Give it up, Donald! I know it's you! A real man can admit it when a girl mops the floor with him. Nobody mopped the floor with Trump! That's all a media conspiracy! Never happened!
     
357. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-04 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-04 Pub. Date: 2016-10-04
Image Number: 149319
Caption: I've decided to be an undecided voter. It's back in vogue. They could build a reality show around me. They could start with a dramatic re-enactment of my childhood. What's your childhood got to do with this? For a long time, I couldn't decide which kid to play with: Brooke, the smart but secretive blond girl who sometimes fibbed ... or Mo, the rich bully who insulted everyone and was in treatment for pathological lying and Twinkie-hoarding. Childhood is full of touch choices.
     
358. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-03 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-03 Pub. Date: 2016-10-03
Image Number: 149318
Caption: Did you see the presidential debate, boss? Did I! The entire township's satellite, cable lines, and internet mysteriously went down … except for in this café. We were packed with hundreds of debate-watchers who had nowhere else to go. I set up outdoor projectors for the hungry and thirsty overflow crowd. Does this have anything to do with why you sent me up into the mountains to cut some wires? Who knows?
     
359. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-01 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-01 Pub. Date: 2016-10-01
Image Number: 149042
Caption: It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. "Sad in Seattle," you're on. What's your problem?! House of Java.net Cybercafe. I discovered my dad is a conspiracy theorist. He says Obama's not American, we never landed on the moon, and someone went back in time and re-edited Star Wars to give C-3PO one silver leg. Stop yer sniveling! Have you any idea how lucky you are to have a father who cared enough about you to give you such priceless material with which to mock him? Papa Cohen never did anything mock-worthy in his life. Um ... Ok ... I mocked him mercilessly for that.
     
360. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-09-30 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-09-30 Pub. Date: 2016-09-30
Image Number: 149041
Caption: Welcome to the "Ask Sadie" radio hour. You're on, Cleveland. What's YOUR problem?! My deadbeat brother-in-law won't leave. What do I do? For six months, he's been sleeping on my couch, watching my tv, and drinking my Dr. Pepper. Excellent question. It reminds me of the time Stalin liberated Eastern Europe and then didn't leave for 44 years. You're going to need a massive arms race, a containment strategy, and Sylvester Stallone. Now he's using my toothbrush.
     
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