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Rudy Park

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281. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-05-08 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-05-08 Pub. Date: 2017-05-08
Image Number: 157819
Caption: How's it going in there, little buddy? You've got twelve people out here waiting to use the loo. Of course I do. How come nobody ever has to use the bathroom until I'm in it? I'm in here for five minutes, and all of a sudden the whole country has to go. You've been in there for almost an hour. They can wait!!!
     
282. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-05-05 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-05-05 Pub. Date: 2017-05-05
Image Number: 157562
Caption: Boss … Armstrong … I created a "Trump Generator." You input questions, and it outputs random nouns and adverbs strung together with words like "fantastic." I put it online a few days ago, and already it's getting 500,000 visitors per day. I guess what I'm asking is, why do all Trump's answers all of a sudden end with "visit House of Java Cafe, it's tremendous. It's run by a very smart man named Armstrong." I have no idea what you're talking about. By the way, did you know Russian hackers are surprisingly cheap on Craigslist? Very bad man!!!
     
283. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-05-03 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-05-03 Pub. Date: 2017-05-03
Image Number: 157560
Caption: Did you read that AP interview with Donald Trump? I did not. Well, it gave me a brilliant idea. I stayed up for a week perfecting it. It's a "Trump Generator" for interviews. You ask it questions, and it gives you answers that are completely nonsensical gibberish punctuated by words like "tremendous." That's going to save the media a lot of time. It's a "bigly-answers-for-stupid-fake-questions-dot-com."
     
284. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-04-30 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-04-30 Pub. Date: 2017-04-30
Image Number: 156856
Caption: Sadie, I just saw that the "great flood" myths are based on reality. You "saw"? On Youtube. It was a video called "The Advanced Pre Ice Age Civilizations that Vanished from Earth." The guy pointed out that the last ice age ended 12,000-ish years ago. And when it ended, huge ice caps that were two miles deep melted and flooded much of the world. And then he laid out a bunch of other evidence having to do with maps and artifacts and something or other. "Something or other"? Well, yeah, at around the 12:57 mark, I sort of tuned out. I've gotten used to taking in information in 9-minute video increments ... 10 max. So this was a personal record. I'm pretty proud of it. You're deliberately trying to push my buttons. I think I'll start watching nine minutes of "Roots" every week till I'm done.
     
285. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-04-29 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-04-29 Pub. Date: 2017-04-29
Image Number: 157301
Caption: What's your question for "Ask Sadie"? How do I tell my wife I'm not who she thinks I am? Excellent questions. It reminds me of the time I palled around with a homely lady back in the '50s. She was one heck of a dancer, but she was secretive guarded. The more I pried into her secrets, the more paranoid she grew. "Somebody's spying on me," she said. "It could be anyone." ... I read that in her diary. If you ask me, that Jo McCarthy was a real basket case. Um ... What did I call you about?
     
286. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-04-28 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-04-28 Pub. Date: 2017-04-28
Image Number: 157300
Caption: Which vaccines did they have when you were young? You cannot get under my skin, loser. Were you vaccinated against the black plague? Not bothering me. Were you vaccinated against leprosy? I am unaffected by you. Were you vaccinated against the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs? Munch mun - When's the last time someone shoved a syrupy pancake down your pants?
     
287. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-04-26 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-04-26 Pub. Date: 2017-04-26
Image Number: 157298
Caption: Hey boss, it's almost closing time. Mind if I knock off early? I do indeed, minion. It's a slipper slope. If I let you off ten minutes early, next thing we know you'll be asking for eleven free minutes. Then people will catch wind of it and be asking for time off all over the place. Meanwhile, North Koreans don't ask for time off. They'll be outproducing us. It'll be the end of America. Boss ... are you AirBnB-ing my house again while I'm at work? You can leave here at 5pm and not a minute sooner.
     
288. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-04-24 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-04-24 Pub. Date: 2017-04-24
Image Number: 157296
Caption: I've given up editing your Wikipedia entry. I still neither know nor care what that means. Tap tap tap tap tap. Instead, I've put up a whole new page for you on Wookieepedia. Did you know you were Chewbacca's first love? But he left you after 200 years of castigation and belittling. You hurt me like the bug hurts the windshield, dork-boy. Also, Chewbacca thought you had too much nose hair.
     
289. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-04-21 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-04-21 Pub. Date: 2017-04-21
Image Number: 157028
Caption: "Ask Sadie Advice Hour," what's your problem?! I've been dating this man for 17 years. How do I get him to pop the big question? Which "big question" is that? "Hey, how come I'm not getting any lovin'?" … or "Hey, where are you going with all your luggage?" ... or "Hey, who's that guy and why are you riding him piggyback and kissing on his neck like that?" Get a clue, lady, he doesn't want you. Move on. Maybe I should give him more time.
     
290. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-04-16 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-04-16 Pub. Date: 2017-04-16
Image Number: 156321
Caption: Quadruple expresso for all of America. What do you mean, Uncle Mort? I mean Donald Trump has slashed vital programs to pay for a 10% increase in military spending. But we were already spending more than the next seven nations combined! We already had everything we needed to defend ourselves! There can be only one reason to slash so many programs in order to increase military spending by $54 billion ... That reason is if you know you're going to start a war. Why am I the only one "waked" to this obvious fact? The term is "woke," Uncle Mort. No! I'm awake right now! "Woke" isn't past tense anymore. Stop gassing me! "Gaslighting."
     
291. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-04-14 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-04-14 Pub. Date: 2017-04-14
Image Number: 156750
Caption: Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? I'm in love with a Russian man. But ever since this Trump-Russia story broke, there's been tension. How do I keep politics from getting in the way of romance? You don't. You incorporate it. Try role play ... wait ... is this Trump? Trump would never call your failed advice "business."
     
292. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-04-11 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-04-11 Pub. Date: 2017-04-11
Image Number: 156747
Caption: It turns out celiac disease is thousands of years old. Yet I still never heard about "gluten" till recently. What do you think that means, Randy? It obviously means big wheat has some explaining to do. They must've altered the grains. I don't know. Maybe it's because our environment has gotten cleaner. So since our antibodies haven't had to work as hard, they've gotten weaker. HOJ. If there's one thing you'd know about, little buddy, it's atrophy. We should have our own science show.
     
293. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-04-09 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-04-09 Pub. Date: 2017-04-09
Image Number: 156035
Caption: Open Mike Night Presents the Comedy Stylings of Rudy Park. Did you hear about the iPhone that hired the best wedding planner in the country because it wanted a great reception? Clap. And then there was the autocorrect programmer who got rejected when he asked a lady out on a debate. The romance didn't last long when the cable tv box found out how spacey the satellite tv box was. Get off the stage! The one who invented binary code was a real zero. Boo. Hiss. I don't even get that one, and I'm glad.
     
294. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-04-05 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-04-05 Pub. Date: 2017-04-05
Image Number: 156485
Caption: I heard Chelsea Clinton is considering running for the Senate in 2020. Holy Moes-es! The last thing Democrats need is to run another corporate Democrat anti-progressive stooge who's trading off a famous name! You're being too hard on Chelsea. I'm sure she's highly ... wait ... did you say "holy moses" or "holy moes-es?" I've never believed in the bible. But I do believe in The Three Stooges. Chelsea won a lifetime achievement award for ... whatever it is she did.
     
295. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-04-03 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-04-03 Pub. Date: 2017-04-03
Image Number: 156483
Caption: When do you think they invented peanut allergies and gluten allergies? "Invented"? As a child, every kid I knew snorted half a kilo of peanut butter and jelly on a daily basis. And every kid I knew had an IV that pumped chocolate chip cookies straight into their veins. Nobody ever had a "gluten" problem ... And no, they don't have IVs like that, I was speaking metaphorically. Don't get my hopes up like that.
     
296. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-03-28 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-03-28 Pub. Date: 2017-03-28
Image Number: 156204
Caption: It's the "Ask Sadie" Advice Hour. "John" in New York, you're on. What's your problem?! House of Java Cybercafe. Movers. They charged me $800 extra to pack my stuff for me. But when they got to my new house, they just dumped everything in a chaotic heap and left. Serves you right you lazy pack-slacker!!! I'm shocked you didn't pay them an extra $200 to complain for you about the extra $800 you paid them. They'd do that?
     
297. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-03-16 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-03-16 Pub. Date: 2017-03-16
Image Number: 155667
Caption: Do you think I'm army material, Randy? I think you'd be a real asset to the army. Really? Pain is an asset, because otherwise, how would one appreciate pleasure? Loneliness is an asset, for otherwise how would one appreciate love? I think boot camp would be much cheaper than a gym membership. Death is an asset. How else would one cherish life?
     
298. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-03-13 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-03-13 Pub. Date: 2017-03-13
Image Number: 155664
Caption: You wanted to see me, boss? Rudy, did you realize its illegal for a boss to tell his minion how to vote? Wink wink wink … and that therefore, I would never tell you to vote for my friend, Patsy Marionette, for city council? Wink wink wink. I would never order you to donate to Patsy campaign fund either, as if your job depended on it. Wink wink wink wink wink wink wink wink wink wink wink wink wink. That's good to know. I believe we're on the same page here. Wink.
     
299. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-03-12 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-03-12 Pub. Date: 2017-03-12
Image Number: 154923
Caption: I can't believe I missed out on the whole beard craze last year. I'm not making the same mistake this year. What do you think of my reverse-beard? I do believe I'm the first person to rock one of these babies. Well … "Well" what? To "rock" something is also very last-year, if you ask me. Oh. You're right. And "babies" is kind of outdated too. I do believe I'm the first person to classical one of these elderlies. Keep trying.
     
300. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-03-09 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-03-09 Pub. Date: 2017-03-09
Image Number: 155394
Caption: Randy, if you could be any animal there is, which one would you be? Easy: I'd be a Bonobo monkey. But not just any Bonobo monkey, I'd be the king of all Bonobo monkeys. They resolve all their conflicts with a little good, old-fashioned, hot, steamy lovin'. They're the best animal to be. DO you agree? Totally, of course. No conflict here.
     
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