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Rudy Park

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201. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-09 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-09 Pub. Date: 2017-12-09
Image Number: 165720
Caption: The people making the Vasimr engine ripped off my idea. What? How? When I was a kid, I had the idea of getting to Mars in just 40 days. The Vasimr engine uses radio waves to ionize and heat propellant to do just that. That's pretty impressive. How'd you know that radio waves could ionize and heat propellant when you were just a kid? Not that part. Just the "40 days" part. Less impressive.
     
202. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-08 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-08 Pub. Date: 2017-12-08
Image Number: 165719
Caption: Hi, this is one of 847 Democrats who'll be running for president in 2020. There's never been an easier race to win in the whole of history of races, but I'm hoping you'll vote for me over all the other opportunists … By that I don't mean to say that I'm an opportunist who's only running because it's a sure thing, I just mean all the others are. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You know, you have some time. Maybe work on your message a little bit. I didn't sit out 2016 'cause I was afraid of Hillary ... but the others did.
     
203. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-06 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-06 Pub. Date: 2017-12-06
Image Number: 165717
Caption: Rudy, how come you're not wearing the new uniform? You were serious? You seriously want me to dress like a robot? Of course I do, minion. My nightly perusal of customers' web searches indicates most of them are feeling a bit antisocial lately. They'd probably buy more coffee from a robot than a human. Oh wait ... new web searches coming in. I'm going to need you to dress like a sexy robot. Very bad man.
     
204. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-04 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-04 Pub. Date: 2017-12-04
Image Number: 165715
Caption: Welcome to the "Ask Sadie" radio hour. You're on, Detroit. What's your problem?! I just got popped for speeding. $300 ticket. I just found out that Congress paid out millions of taxpayer dollars to settle their own sexual harassment cases. Why do I have to pay when I do something wrong, but when congressmen do something wrong, I still have to pay? This reminds me of the time I didn't care what the caller had to say.
     
205. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-03 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-03 Pub. Date: 2017-12-03
Image Number: 165381
Caption: Triple espresso. Forget it, Uncle Mort. Let's face facts: You're not as young as you used to me. Too much caffeine can literally kill you. Poppycock! Do you know who you're talking to? When we stormed across Europe under Patton, my tank battalion got stuck in the mud during a torrential downpour. Arty Lang switched my canteen full of rainwater with one full of tank gas. So I replaced his tank's timing belt with tree bark and dental floss. That big galoot and I were always pranking each other like that. It was different times. Don't judge. What were we talking about, again? You were ordering the gentle flower chamomile tea.
     
206. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-29 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-29 Pub. Date: 2017-11-29
Image Number: 165442
Caption: I forgot to tell you "Happy Black Friday." What do you mean, Billy? Isn't that your holiday? Um … you're asking me that because I'm a merchant … Right? I guess so. Oh. That's good. I was about to ask "what are your parents teaching you?" What part of Africa do "merchants" come from?
     
207. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-25 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-25 Pub. Date: 2017-11-25
Image Number: 165181
Caption: Randy? What kind of frat parties do you think they had in ancient Rome? I mean, they wore togas every day. That's easy, little buddy. They'd wear an Akkadian loincloth. The Akkadians were just as ancient as the Romans as the Romans are to us. You seem to know a lot about them. That's because the Randy lineage traces its roots back to the Akkadians. Randush "The Rock" Taylor was a popular loincloth model back then. I can trace my family back to Cleveland.
     
208. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-22 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-22 Pub. Date: 2017-11-22
Image Number: 165178
Caption: Disney's trying to buy Fox. If they did that, then all of Marvel's best heroes would be in the MCU. It would be horrible! The whole Marvel cinematic universe is one big story told by dozens of movies. This would, like, triple the amount of movies I'd have to watch! I'd have to watch every X-Men spinoff to make sure I got every reference made in any Thor or Avengers movie, for instance. HOJ. Your definition of "have to" and my definition of "have to" are very different. I'd have to see them all in 3-D. I'd have to get a second job to afford that.
     
209. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-20 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-20 Pub. Date: 2017-11-20
Image Number: 165176
Caption: Armstrong, an unmarked truck just delivered a pallet of mystery meat. Turkey. It doesn't look like turkey. It looks more like some sort of dehydrated pigeon. What's it matter? If we slap it in a sandwich, smother it in "gravy," and label it "turkey," customers won't know the difference. Wait, did you just think quotes around the word gravy? "no."
     
210. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-19 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-19 Pub. Date: 2017-11-19
Image Number: 164536
Caption: Harrison Ford, no question. Tom Selleck. Without a doubt. I don't care if they did offer Selleck the role first, Ford was a much better "Indiana Jones." I don't care if they did offer Selleck the role first, Ford was a much better "Indiana Jones." Ford was ok, but his character was less that manly. What are you talking about? That's ridiculous! Harrison Ford was the definition of eighties manliness! You're telling me the "definition of eighties manliness" could run around the world for weeks and months at a time ... and never once grow anything more than a little stubble? I think maybe you're a little biased about the whole "big giant mustache" issue. Likewise, my patchy little stubbly friend. On matters of great import, even the philosophers must sometimes agree to disagree. Stop!!! All the greatest philosophers had big mustaches, you know.
     
211. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-17 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-17 Pub. Date: 2017-11-17
Image Number: 164886
Caption: Rudy, it's come to my attention you've been using the restroom three times a day. Of course I have, boss. Did you not see the sign out front that says "restrooms are for customers only"? Seriously? I work here, boss. I've worked here for sixteen years! Good point. Calculating ... average customer spends $20 ... multiply by sixteen ... multiply by 365 ... I'll have to deduct $116,800 from your next several dozen paychecks. Very bad man.
     
212. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-15 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-15 Pub. Date: 2017-11-15
Image Number: 164884
Caption: I closed all my rings yesterday, Randy! What do you mean? On my Apple Watch. If you move enough, stand enough and work out enough during the day, colorful rings close on the watch face. I see. Impressive, little buddy. What'd you do, go for a long run? Do 100 situps? An hour of cardio? Fun fact, totally not related: If the watch notices you're not moving, standing or working out it lowers the amount of time it takes to close the rings. Less impressive.
     
213. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-14 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-14 Pub. Date: 2017-11-14
Image Number: 164883
Caption: Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie: I'm really excited about being old enough (13) to have my own cellphone soon. But my dad won't get me the iPhone X. He'll only get me an Android. Yuck. SMH. How do I get him to understand how much that's going to ruin my life so that he'll get me the X? HMB, Charlotte. I would like modern society to reconsider its freakish aversion to corporal punishment! I mean l ... thank you for writing. Ask Sadie at asksadie@rudypark.com
     
214. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-13 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-13 Pub. Date: 2017-11-13
Image Number: 164882
Caption: What do you mean "give Rudy a minute"? He's doing something very delicate. Like what? He's trying to help Sadie find her old childhood friends online. He found lots of them. They're still alive! But the news is both good and bad, and he's not sure how to break it to her gently. They're ... um ... in a Facebook group called "Sadie-Survivors Support Group." What th -- I said tell me the bad news first, cretin.
     
215. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-11 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-11 Pub. Date: 2017-11-11
Image Number: 164678
Caption: How many people in history do you think have died fighting over lines someone else drew on a map? Occupiers have often forced people who are polar opposites to live in one artificial "country." Iraq … Ethiopia … Yugoslavia … the United States … but then if we only lived in countries made up of people who agree with us, earth would have 7 billion countries. I disagree.
     
216. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-04 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-04 Pub. Date: 2017-11-04
Image Number: 164426
Caption: Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? My wife doesn't have a job. The other night she told me it'd be nice if I helped out a little more at home. So I replied "hey, I don't ask you to come to my place of business and do my job for me." I see. Have you tried the "act like I never said it and wait for her to forget it" routine? Yes, sir. I also, tried the "don't-make-eye-contact-until-she-forgets-it" maneuver. I'm running out of ideas.
     
217. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-02 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-02 Pub. Date: 2017-11-02
Image Number: 164424
Caption: Minion, it's come to my attention you've been talking about science to the customers. This will not do. My perusal of our customers' social media posts indicated that a growing number of them believe the earth is flat and science is lame. I don't want you saying anything that might insult the beliefs of this growing minority group. "Dumb" is not a minority. "Dumb" is a slur now, Rudy. The P.C. term is "Dingbat-American."
     
218. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-01 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-01 Pub. Date: 2017-11-01
Image Number: 164423
Caption: Sadie, I saw something disturbing on Youtube. A theoretical physicist named S. James Gates Jr. was attempting to discern the elementary structure of nature. It let him to a set of equations that were indistinguishable from computer code. Computer code, he found, is written into the equations that describe the cosmos. Do you have any idea what this means? It means it might be true that we're all part of a simulation! I'm assuming you've stopped talking, since your lips are no longer flapping.
     
219. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-31 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-31 Pub. Date: 2017-10-31
Image Number: 164422
Caption: Nasa's going to give the moon a moon. What? It's going to capture an asteroid and put it in lunar orbit so we can practice docking with it and maybe mine it. Do you think it's too late for me to become and astronaut? I would love to be the first human being to say "can you hear me now" from an asteroid. Your deeds will be remember for centuries. I want to be the first human to moon the moon from the moon's moon.
     
220. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-30 do 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-30 Pub. Date: 2017-10-30
Image Number: 164421
Caption: Did you know there's a growing worldwide system of rails and roads that all lead to China? Did you know China's on the verge of dominating the industries of the future? Did you know China's built fifteen mega-cities? It's like having fifteen New Yorks. Did you know China's building immense undersea tunnels and super-fast high speed rail to create the world's first super-cities that'll be six times the population of New York? Oh, well ... I'm sure we're still number one in all the areas I didn't google. I know we're still number one in thinking we're number one.
     
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