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Candorville

Comics about diets and dieting.

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Result page:    2  Next  (22 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-08 diet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-08 Pub. Date: 2018-09-08
Image Number: 173884
Caption: I think I've figured out why my hair's growing more slowly. You're getting old? It's because I haven't been getting enough vitamin D. I can reverse it if I just add more D to my diet. More dumplings, more deviled eggs, more danishes, more donuts, more daiquiris ... Pretty sure it doesn't work that way, Lemont. If there were a god, it would. Now's her change to prove herself.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-07 diet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-07 Pub. Date: 2018-06-07
Image Number: 172071
Caption: Given enough time, audiences know what to expect, Rosencrantz. And with expectation comes acceptance. Give them crudty, and that is what they will accept. Give them erudition, and they will rise to accept that. Feed them a diet of lies, and they will learn to crave them. I still would prefer to eat my sandwiches before you've chewed them. Give it time.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-06 diet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-06 Pub. Date: 2017-01-06
Image Number: 152859
Caption: I feel like a burrito right now, Clyde. You can't have no burrito, Big L. You a single dad raisin' a two-year-old baby. What'll happen to him if you drop dead of a heart attack? Parents who don't take care of theyselves an' don't watch they carbs an minerals an' such is selfish. Whatever. Give me back my burrito, Clyde. Somebody gotta look out for the children.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-02 diet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-02 Pub. Date: 2015-11-02
Image Number: 134721
Caption: Ima Buvitall @imabuvitall. Turns out processed meat causes cancer. I've heard that. Makes sense meat's at the root of all our problems. After all, if nature intended us to eat meat, we wouldn't have to cook it. Valid point. Ima Buvitall @imabuvitall. That's what the anti-meatists want us to think, anyway. If nature DIDN'T want us eating meat, it wouldn't have made us smart enough to invent cooking.. I need a burger right @#$% now.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-10-23 diet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-10-23 Pub. Date: 2014-10-23
Image Number: 117917
Caption: I have a two-year-old. How do I make sure he never chooses to fight in our country's endless war? C-Dog's Incredibly Bad Advice. $2. What's that? I wrote your boy a prescription. "Take one six-pack of coke, a bag of Doritos an' a Happy Meal daily." Army fatigues don't come in XXXXL. He'll get diabetes by 18. All treatments have side effects.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-03-02 diet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-03-02 Pub. Date: 2014-03-02
Image Number: 107548
Caption: I think having a child has made me a much less self-centered person. Dr. Noodle. I used to diet and hit the gym so I could look great, know what I mean? It was about vanity. But now I eat right and work out 'cause I'm hoping to live long enough to see my baby boy grow up, become a success, start his own family, buy his own home ... That shows a lot of emotional growth. I know. Sometimes when I hold my baby up in the air and gaze into his eyes, I tell him ... "Who's gonna take good care of daddy's affairs someday? YOU are! Who's gonna give daddy a comfortable room in his house when he's ninety? YOU are! ... Although another word for "growth" is "tumor." I take his silence as approbation. PhD.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-12-03 diet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-12-03 Pub. Date: 2012-12-03
Image Number: 90577
Caption: It's all coming back to me, doc. I was reporting on the Mexican drug cartels … PhD. Then it all went wrong. I got kidnapped. I ignored warnings. I made a mistake. AND THE WORLD ENDED. Lemont? We're still here. If the world ended, how can that be? How can the sky glow after the sun has already set? How can smoke rise after the candle has already gone out? Yes, yes ... How can my tongue still taste all aluminum-y long after I finish the diet cola? Leave the poetry to your patients. PhD. (Published originally on April 27, 2011.)
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-03-10 diet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-03-10 Pub. Date: 2012-03-10
Image Number: 39257
Caption: Twitter. Saw commercial with some mom whining about tax on soda & juice drinks. Get your fat kids some water & you won't have to worry about it. Tap tap tap tap tap. (Originally published in 2009).
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-04-27 diet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-04-27 Pub. Date: 2011-04-27
Image Number: 60245
Caption: It's all coming back to me, Doc. I was reporting on the Mexican drug cartels … then it all went wrong. I got kidnapped. I ignored warnings. I made a mistake. AND THE WORLD ENDED. Lemont? We're still here. If the world ended, how can that be? How can the sky glow after the sun as already set? How can smoke rise after the candle has already gone out? Yes, yes ... how can my tongue still taste all aluminum-y long after I finish the diet cola ... Leave the poetry to your patients.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-03-19 diet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-03-19 Pub. Date: 2011-03-19
Image Number: 58581
Caption: The Galapagos woodpecker uses sticks to help it obtain food. Would you call that "unnatural"? Of course not! The woodpecker is an animal. It's "natural," so anything it does is also natural. Man is also an animal. Mankind is "natural" too. So everything we do, from using sticks, to creating so-called "artificial" sugar, is also natural. You are so not giving up diet cola. Would you ask a woodpecker to give up his stick?
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-03-18 diet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-03-18 Pub. Date: 2011-03-18
Image Number: 58580
Caption: Susan, I'm giving up diet cola. If the great author in the sky wanted us to drink diet cola, the rivers would be brown and it would rain aspartame. I mean it would be like that naturally. Oh. Ok, I was gonna say …
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-03-17 diet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-03-17 Pub. Date: 2011-03-17
Image Number: 58579
Caption: Sir … did you say your wife is dying? We should have seen it coming. Elizabeth drank nothing but diet cola for years. She was addicted. She drank a six-pack of that aspartame-laden concoction every day. Which led to some metabolic disorder, or to a stroke? Which led to her driving into the lake while trying to open a can.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-07-20 diet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-07-20 Pub. Date: 2007-07-20
Image Number: 17941
Caption: I thought you were on a diet to get ready for your elementary school reunion. Chomp. Chomp. Chomp. I'm not going, Susan. I looked at the other e-mail addresses on the invitation. They're things like "emily@nasa.gov" and "brandon@whitehouse.gov." They've all accomplished so much. Lemont, there's no reason to feel inadequate. "mitsy@brainsurgeon.com"
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-07-19 diet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-07-19 Pub. Date: 2007-07-19
Image Number: 17940
Caption: Lemont, I don't care if you do have a school reunion coming up… You can't eat only carrots and hay all month to lose weight. You're right. Hay has too many carbs. At least the hay would keep you regular. How important is that, really?
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-07-18 diet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-07-18 Pub. Date: 2007-07-18
Image Number: 17939
Caption: Wanna grab dinner, Lemont? Can't. I've been invited to my elementary school reunion. I've let myself go, Susan. Can't let them see me like this. I have to get back to my school weight. You were 76 pounds. For the next month, I eat nothing but carrots and hay.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-07-04 diet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-05-22 Pub. Date: 2006-07-04
Image Number: 14164
Caption: Lemont, I'm you at age 80. I've come back through time in our dreams to warn you not to watch the news tomorrow. Why not? Um … I don't remember. Oh. Listen, I've been meaning to ask you, does our son grow up happy? Son? What son? Not to self: Eat more fruits and vegetables. Who are you?
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-05-08 diet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-05-08 Pub. Date: 2007-05-08
Image Number: 17175
Caption: Future me, you're saying I -- we -- get diabetes? You just got hired as a blogger for a newspaper, right? Next couple of years, you sit on your butt at a desk all day eatin' donuts, drinkin' coffee, and never hitting the gym. That doesn't have to end badly. Don't recall being that dumb.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-05-07 diet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-05-07 Pub. Date: 2007-05-07
Image Number: 17174
Caption: Don't eat the donut! Huh? Oh, hey, future me. How's it going? Hold that thought. Just lemme inject myself with insulin to stave off a deadly diabetic coma. So what you're saying is, "Don't eat the donut." If you don't want it, can I have it?
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-03-04 diet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-03-27 Pub. Date: 2007-03-04
Image Number: 16615
Caption: What? Congratulations Sherman! Maricela's Decadent Cakes. Congrats on losing 50 pounds!
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-01-23 diet 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2007-01-23 Pub. Date: 2007-01-23
Image Number: 15865
Caption: What the --- Don't tell me you're selling --- Sometimes people need a little somethin' to pick up they spirits, Big L. Some cats drink alcohol. Some get happed up on Skittles. Some get a fix o' Doritos ev'ry day. It ain't good for 'em. But life is short. If you can help someone find some happiness, well ... It's truly a thing to be proud of. Fool, you can't rationalize selling Dr---. Shhh! Somebody gon' hear you!
     
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