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Candorville

Comics about dying.

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141. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-08-24 die 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-08-24 Pub. Date: 2011-08-24
Image Number: 64818
Caption: The Candorville Chronicle. Do you know why the cost of living is rising so fast, Brown? It's because people have grown cynical. People feel the American empire is dying, so everyone's trying to grab their piece of the pie before it'a all gone. We must break this vicious cycle, Brown ... before it's too late. Sir, none of this explains why you won't give me a raise. Fight the cynicism, Brown. Fight it!
     
142. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-07-02 die 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-07-02 Pub. Date: 2011-07-02
Image Number: 62676
Caption: You'll never believe what he did then. It was shocking, if you will. He … Pardon me, couldn't help but overhear. "If you will" WHAT? Accept the words you just chose to say? What if they WON'T? It's too late. You've already said them. Who died and made you the grammar police? Idiom police.
     
143. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-06-22 die 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-06-22 Pub. Date: 2011-06-22
Image Number: 62374
Caption: You're not afraid, human? I'm a therapist. I can spot a dream a mile away. Dreams are about wish fulfillment. I've always wished that I'd finally get caught and pay for my crimes. Long ago, I went by another name and lived a life of debauchery on the carnival circuit ... This is not a dream. ... until the heat died down from mystring of laundromat robberies.
     
144. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-06-09 die 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-06-09 Pub. Date: 2011-06-09
Image Number: 61780
Caption: Facebook Messages. From Sasha Mitchell. I don't know about being Facebook friends, Lemont. If you think I look older and fatter than when you knew me in college, I'll just die. Don't be silly. We all age. The body's just a shell. It's your SOUL I remember, Sasha, and that never ages. I hadn't thought of it like that. ... OK, I just sent you a friend request. Um ... Are you going to accept it? As soon as I delete every photo of me I can find.
     
145. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-05-13 die 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-05-13 Pub. Date: 2011-05-13
Image Number: 60781
Caption: Osama Bin Laden visits Lemont's dream. You're the last person I will ever speak to. Don't you have ANY questions for me? Ok, fine. One question … All across the Middle East, the people are finally rebelling against their tyrants, like you always wanted. But instead of a new Islamist revolution, they're demanding more freedom and self-determination. How does it feel to die irrelevant? Questions are overrated.
     
146. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-04-19 die 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-04-19 Pub. Date: 2011-04-19
Image Number: 59958
Caption: Are there any job openings at your ad agency? Really? Lemont, I'm so excited! It's about time you realized there's no future in journalism, that your newspaper is dying, and that it's just stupid at your age to keep wasting time in a dead-end job. … I meant 'cause I know a kid whose mom needs a job. Oh, well ... I ... ay ay. What do you mean "at my age"?
     
147. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-03-25 die 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-03-25 Pub. Date: 2011-03-25
Image Number: 58865
Caption: Thousands of people died in the Japanese tsunami and in the massive earthquake that caused it. The Earth shook for five minutes. Do you know how long five minutes is? Five minutes is longer than any conversation you and I have ever had. I miss Chappelle's Show. You ever miss Chappelle's show? That fool funny.
     
148. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-03-17 die 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-03-17 Pub. Date: 2011-03-17
Image Number: 58579
Caption: Sir … did you say your wife is dying? We should have seen it coming. Elizabeth drank nothing but diet cola for years. She was addicted. She drank a six-pack of that aspartame-laden concoction every day. Which led to some metabolic disorder, or to a stroke? Which led to her driving into the lake while trying to open a can.
     
149. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-03-16 die 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-03-16 Pub. Date: 2011-03-16
Image Number: 58578
Caption: Of course I'll come to your custody hearing tonight, Lemont. I mean, I AM spending every waking moment staving off the financial collapse of our paper, playing with my grandkids, and waiting for your long-overdue article about the Wisconsin union protests. But I think I can steal an entire evening away from my dying wife to sit in night court testifying on your behalf. Great! Be there at 10 p.m.
     
150. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-03-14 die 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-03-14 Pub. Date: 2011-03-14
Image Number: 58576
Caption: I was gonna come waste my valuable time testifying at your custody hearing last night, Big L … but my grandma died, all sudden an' #@$%*. Oh man … I'm sorry to hear that, Clyde. I really am … but the hearing's still going on. You can come tonight. Um ... sure-wait ... tonight? Can't dawg. We expecting her to have a relapse tonight. Wait ... I was at your grandma's funeral. In 1994. It's a chronic thing.
     
151. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-03-02 die 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-03-02 Pub. Date: 2011-03-02
Image Number: 21744
Caption: What's up, Gene? Editor's having lunch with Jebediah Oldman. Y'know, guy who created "The Oldersons," one of our longest-running comic strips. Oh. Say, didn't he die in, like, 1926? WRRAAAAUGH! Just don't let him near your jugular.
     
152. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-09-30 die 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-09-30 Pub. Date: 2010-09-30
Image Number: 52454
Caption: There's death in the air, Clyde. I wonder if this is what the British felt when their empire began to die. Tell me, might those poor beggars the Romans have felt this very way? Blimey! When the noble Babylonians didst descend, couldst they have suffered thusly? Dang. This stinks.
     
153. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-09-29 die 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-09-29 Pub. Date: 2010-09-29
Image Number: 52453
Caption: When I'm on my deathbed, I don't want to have any regrets. I don't want to be thinking about the one that got away. I don't want to be thinking about who or what I should've been. You ought to be thinking about lying somewhere that's not called a "death" bed. ... I don't want to be thinking about this conversation.
     
154. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-09-27 die 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-09-27 Pub. Date: 2010-09-27
Image Number: 52451
Caption: Clyde, do you think about the legacy you'll leave behind after you die? Maybe. … But it's probably better to think about it before. What? What?
     
155. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-06-16 die 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-06-16 Pub. Date: 2010-06-16
Image Number: 48467
Caption: Calling Lemont Brown. Hello? Lemont, it's Loafer Meeks, your attorney. After the process servers all vanished, I decided to serve the subpoena to your ex-fiancée myself. She's chained me in the basement and I'm about to die an agonizing, gruesome death. Send help! Hahaha, just kidding ... This is Lemont's voice mail! Leave a message. Beep.
     
156. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-05-27 die 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-05-27 Pub. Date: 2010-05-27
Image Number: 47784
Caption: Senator Murkowski, why are you blocking Congress' attempt to increase Behemoth Oil's financial liability for this catastrophic spill? The law already permits unlimited damages. Anyone affected by the spill can sue Behemoth … … go up against Behemoth's star team of lawyers for the next twenty years, run out of money to keep going, and eventually grow old and die before they can recover a penny. That last part was off the record. You kinda have to call that beforehand.
     
157. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-04-12 die 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-04-12 Pub. Date: 2010-04-12
Image Number: 46245
Caption: You may wonder why I’m dressed all in black. Not really. I'm going to a funeral. Oh. I'm sorry. Who died? Liberty. "No taxation without representation of every one of my personal beliefs and none of yours!" I don't think that's how that goes.
     
158. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-03-18 die 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-03-18 Pub. Date: 2010-03-18
Image Number: 45147
Caption: Confession: When I realized I was in a hopeless relationship while you were in love with that Dick Fink, that loser from your office, I wanted to die. But it's ironic: the only thing keeping me from becoming bitter NOW is your successful relationship with Dick. Next time my friend Lemont calls, I need you to pretend you and I are having a mad passionate love affair. ... You don't say. I DO say. ... I wanna take you love-birds to dinner.
     
159. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-12-19 die 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-12-19 Pub. Date: 2009-12-19
Image Number: 41950
Caption: In other news, the president is escalating the War in Afghanistan. This just in: thousands of Americans died this year for lack of health insurance. Zzzzz. In other news, Tiger Woods has SEX! Munch munch. Top story: thousands of Americans lost their jobs this month.
     
160. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-12-08 die 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-12-08 Pub. Date: 2009-12-08
Image Number: 41700
Caption: We're back with Lemont Brown, award-winning reporter for the Candorville Chronicle. Before we get back to talking about your new book, I just want to remind you I'm a screeching windbag hate-radio host … … who'll ask what you think about people choosing hate radio and the web over your elitist, dying newspaper industry ... Good to meet you. ... and then I'll taunt you with my latest ratings.
     
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