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Candorville

Comics about dying.

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61. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-03 die 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-03 Pub. Date: 2015-11-03
Image Number: 134722
Caption: Hello, Tara: I just want to say … I love my son more than life itself. My love will always be with him, no matter what happens. I've lived a long life. Seen many things. Gone many places. I have no regrets. By the way, I'm having a major medical procedure done tomorrow. But if my son doesn't call me before then, no big deal. I just don't want HIM to have regrets. (Hopefully I don't accidentally send this text to him, totally by mistake.) (Sigh) Better call momma. People have been known to die from tooth-cleanings. Just saying.
     
62. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-09-27 die 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-09-27 Pub. Date: 2015-09-27
Image Number: 132520
Caption: When someone says "Black Lives Matter," I respond by saying "All Lives Matter." Because I don't see color. But if you "don't see color," you can't see that young black men are far more likely to be shot unnecessarily by police than men of any other color. And you can't solve a problem if you can't even see it exists. It felt food to stand up for equality. So I didn't stop there. What do you mean? OWS protester love of red velvet cake. Daily Nut Job. Obama wet bed as child, covered it up. Goodnight Grandpa. I came across a "breast cancer survivor" meeting at the rec center. I poked my head in and shouted "All Cancer is Bad." By the looks on their faces, I could tell some of them realized they'd been totally horrible for acting like their cancer was so much more important than other cancers. Also confesses to having red "Little Red Riding Hood." Exoneration. I came across a funeral this morning, and after the eulogy I reminded the family that all people die, and that it's wrong of them to act like this one was more special than the rest of us. Has aversion to pepper spray. Why?
     
63. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-09-03 die 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-09-03 Pub. Date: 2015-09-03
Image Number: 131901
Caption: I feel like when I was a kid, there was a lot more life out there. More butterflies. More lizards. More roly-poly bugs. Yeah. Same here. I always thought that was because the older I get, the less attention I pay to stuff like that. But then I read that we've finally gone ahead and caused the world's sixth great extinction event. Species are dying off 10,000 times faster than normal now. That's great news! It means the vanishing of butterflies isn't just me being self-absorbed.
     
64. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-14 die 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-14 Pub. Date: 2015-08-14
Image Number: 130937
Caption: I feel like I was born about 200 years too early, Susan. 200 years ago, I'd have been a slave. My life expectancy would've had me dying at 36. I'd have had to use an outhouse. For that matter, they hadn't even invented toilet paper. We made all this progress in 200 years. Imagine how much we'll have made 200 years from now. I don't really see how you can improve on toilet paper. Whatever it is, it'll probably involve lasers.
     
65. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-07-06 die 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-07-06 Pub. Date: 2015-07-06
Image Number: 129281
Caption: A bunch of black churches have been burned down in recent weeks. No! It's going to get worse before it gets better, Susan. Evil racists are lashing out because they've realized bigots are a dying breed. In a way, the worse things get, the better they are. Yeah. Wait ... what?
     
66. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-07-05 die 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-07-05 Pub. Date: 2015-07-05
Image Number: 128670
Caption: But if you just watch. I ain't wanna talk about this, Big L. But why can't we talk about it? 'Cause there only so many words we get to hear an' say before we die. The average person say 370,110,001 words in his lifetime, bruh. Way I see it, I ain't got but 180,000,000 left. I ain't gonna waste nary a one of them on that corny @*$%. Besides, Star Track Next Generation been off the air 20 years now, bruh. I'm just saying, once you notice Worf doesn't have any ears, you can't ever unnotice it.
     
67. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-27 die 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-27 Pub. Date: 2015-06-27
Image Number: 128676
Caption: I've read that by the time I'm an old man, we may be able to upload our consciousness into the cloud. Do you know what this means, Clyde? It means our generation may be the first to become immortal. We'd also become the first post-human generation. "Cloud-o-sapiens" doesn't have the same ring to it, though. Wait ... me dyin' someday anyway is what make it easy to not care 'bout nobody opinion of me. Ain't this a blip.
     
68. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-05-20 die 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-05-20 Pub. Date: 2015-05-20
Image Number: 127173
Caption: I keep thinking about those people who died or got hurt when that train derailed. Dr. Noodle. It's 2015. I'm ok with not having flying cars, or jetpacks, or moving sidewalks. M.A. But we should at least have trains and tracks that can't toss us off to our deaths now. The older I get, the less I expect. That's perfectly normal, Lemont.
     
69. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-04-09 die 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-04-09 Pub. Date: 2015-04-09
Image Number: 125201
Caption: You look happy. I AM happy. The sun's shining, there's a warm breeze and a great view. I mean, sure, someday I'll be too old or sick to enjoy any of that … and sure, someday, I'll be lying on my deathbed, realizing I'll never enjoy any of that again, but ... Um ... Forget I told you you look happy. Thanks a lot, Susan.
     
70. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-03-26 die 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-03-26 Pub. Date: 2015-03-26
Image Number: 124644
Caption: If you could go back in time ten years, but you couldn't come back, and you would not be ten years younger … would you do it? Only if I were an idiot. But if you went into the past, you could invest wisely and get rich. Yeah, but I'd die ten years earlier. We may only be decades away from figuring out how to end aging, or how to upload our consciousness to immortal android bodies. If I die ten years early, I might miss out on that. You know that stuff would only be for rich people, right? I've got $8,000 in an IRA.
     
71. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-02-09 die 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-02-09 Pub. Date: 2015-02-09
Image Number: 122689
Caption: Sometimes America really disappoints me, Susan. Remember that Super Bowl commercial where the kid says he'll never be this and never do that, because he died in an avoidable childhood accident? My reaction was "With all the people watching … that commercial is probably going to save some child's life." America's reaction was "Hey! Save a kid some other time, I'm trying to eat a nacho here." I'm paraphrasing ... barely.
     
72. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-01-31 die 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-01-31 Pub. Date: 2015-01-31
Image Number: 121966
Caption: What's life all about? Death. Erethang we do be about getting' what we can while we can. We ain't got but seven, eight decades to get all the naps, all the money, all the lovin', all the eatin', an all the tv-watchin' we can. I think we can do more than that in eight decades, Clyde. Life's about findin' five things you good at an' explorin' them to they fullest. You can't "explore" napping.
     
73. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-01-16 die 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-01-16 Pub. Date: 2015-01-16
Image Number: 121388
Caption: Lemont Brown's "Writer's Credo" page 12. #47: This, I believe: NOTHING ENDS. Every "ending" - even DEATH - is the starting point for an infinite number of stories. #48: This, I believe: The studio that rejected my screenplay for "Casablanca 2" is an idiot.
     
74. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-01-10 die 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-01-10 Pub. Date: 2015-01-10
Image Number: 121081
Caption: I don't have any family heirlooms to give to my little boy, Susan. What? You know, like a cool old watch, or a mysterious old ring. Something to connect him to his past. That's what you're for, Lemont. You mean when I die, I should have them turn my ashes into a ring? No, that's ... wait, they can do that?
     
75. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-01-04 die 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-01-04 Pub. Date: 2015-01-04
Image Number: 120435
Caption: What brings you to therapy? I'm really susceptible to other people's moods. Dr. Noodle. If I'm with someone who's happy, I'm happy. If I'm with someone who's sad, I'm sad. If I'm with someone who's talkative, I'm eloquent. If they're not, then I can't think of anything to talk about. My friend's dad died. He cried. Within five minutes, he was having to console me. Well, that's actually not unusual, you see, we're all ... did you have on glasses when you came in here? Why do you ask?
     
76. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-11-30 die 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-11-30 Pub. Date: 2014-11-30
Image Number: 118798
Caption: Sometimes I wish my mom and all my ancestors had decided to have kids much later in life. What? Why? A few years ago, I read that a Harvard research team discovered a way to reverse the aging process in mice. That could lead to a cure for aging - a cure for death itself - just a few decades from now. If just my last ten generations of ancestors had waited till their forties to have kids, I wouldn't have been born till the year 2080, or so. If they'd each just kept it zipped for two measly decades, it's possible I'd get to be immortal. My own ancestors have condemned me to death. How thoughtless of them. Oh no ... I already have a son ... I've perpetuated the cycle of violence.
     
77. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-11-13 die 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-11-13 Pub. Date: 2014-11-13
Image Number: 118789
Caption: According to Zeno's Paradox, you and I would be immortal, Rosencrantz. If life is a journey toward death, then to arrive at that destination we'd first have to travel half a life. Then half our remaining life, and so on; infinitely forever. But you're overlooking one crucial flaw in that theory. What flaw is that? Zeno's dead. (Published originally on March 29, 2012.)
     
78. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-11-03 die 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-11-03 Pub. Date: 2014-11-03
Image Number: 118495
Caption: Are you going to vote tomorrow, Clyde? What for? "What for?" How about for all the people who fought and suffered and died to win you the right to vote? They all on the ballot? That's not what I'm- Oh, never mind.
     
79. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-09-23 die 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-09-23 Pub. Date: 2014-09-23
Image Number: 116762
Caption: My Mac died on me again, so I thought I'd finally, after all these years, try a PC. You use a PC at work, right? Would you know how to fix a glitch? Maybe. What sort of glitch? Every time I tried installing an FTP program, it would also install an "optimizer," a "vacation planner" and a video of a cat boxing with a gerbil. You wanna know how to uninstall the programs you didn't want? I wanna know how to uninstall the angry-dent my fist put in the keyboard.
     
80. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-09-22 die 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-09-22 Pub. Date: 2014-09-22
Image Number: 116761
Caption: Zombiac … Truman speaking. Hi, Truman, it's Lemont Brown. I was in a couple years ago. I brought you a new iMac and asked you to take out its guts and squeeze them into my beautiful old 2004 iMac's chassis. Well it just died, Truman. If I bring it in, you will fix it free of charge, right? Sir, do you still have a copy of the warranty I gave you? I thought I did, but I just have a paper with "ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha" written over and over in tiny print. No, that's the one.
     
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