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Candorville

Comics about Dicks.

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41. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-02-07 Dick 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-02-07 Pub. Date: 2012-02-07
Image Number: 76088
Caption: Dick, when you told me the Fitzhugh meeting was changed from the conference room to the laundromat across the street … … Were you trying to make me miss the meeting. Of course not, Ms. Garcia. It was a simple mix-up. You do not suspect that I'm sabotaging you or that I want your job. Are you trying the Jedi mind trick on me? I may be excused.
     
42. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-10-16 Dick 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-10-16 Pub. Date: 2010-10-16
Image Number: 53006
Caption: I want to tell him how I feel, but I can't … First of all, I lied to him months ago, told him I was in a relationship with my evil assistant Dick Fink … and that lie drove him crazy. I mean seriously, he was committed! He'd never forgive me! Secondly, he just got an e-mail from his "one that got away" and now he's 100% focused on her, and I don't wanna get the "let's just be friends" talk from him. That'd just kill me. Ma'am .. all I asked was "would you like pepperoni on that?" You're right. I should tell him anyway.
     
43. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-04-18 Dick 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-04-18 Pub. Date: 2010-04-18
Image Number: 46251
Caption: Dick Fink? What are you doing? Seriously, Dick? Are you trying to annoy me or something? This is kind of juvenile. Don't you think? I'm a grown woman. You're a grown man … of some sort. (sigh) Stare all you want, Dick. It won't make nervous. It won't make me self-conscious. It won't make me fly off the handle ... ... So that everyone'll think I'm insane and they'll fire me and give my job to you like I know you've always wanted. IT WON'T MAKE ME PARANOID!
     
44. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-03-26 Dick 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-03-26 Pub. Date: 2010-03-26
Image Number: 45426
Caption: Dick, I want you to track down Mr. Fitzhugh and find out why he's interviewing people to replace me! Dick? What are you doing? You're my assistant. Shouldn't you be at your desk assisting me? So anyway, sir … that's why I think I would make a good Director of Advertising/PR. Are you interviewing people to replace your boss? what would give you that idea? So when do I start?
     
45. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-03-24 Dick 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-03-24 Pub. Date: 2010-03-24
Image Number: 45424
Caption: Is something wrong, Miss Garcia? Heh heh heh. No. Yes. I don't … Dick … I think my jobs in danger. Someone showed up to interview for MY JOB. But I can't get ahold of Mr. Fitzhugh to get to the bottom of this. Oh. You don't say. Heh heh heh heh heh. Rub rub rub. Dick ... do you know something about this? Why do you ask?
     
46. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-03-19 Dick 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-03-19 Pub. Date: 2010-03-19
Image Number: 45148
Caption: Lemont, I made a big mistake. Enormous. I'm scared to tell you. I faked a relationship with Dick Fink to teach you what it's like to have a friend hook up with the wrong person. I mean, so your relationship with Dick Fink drove me so crazy, I hallucinated vampires, got institutionalized and almost lost my job. It's not like you FAKED the relationship or anything unforgivable like that. What was the mistake? I ... Uh ... tried to order a whopper at McDonald's?
     
47. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-03-18 Dick 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-03-18 Pub. Date: 2010-03-18
Image Number: 45147
Caption: Confession: When I realized I was in a hopeless relationship while you were in love with that Dick Fink, that loser from your office, I wanted to die. But it's ironic: the only thing keeping me from becoming bitter NOW is your successful relationship with Dick. Next time my friend Lemont calls, I need you to pretend you and I are having a mad passionate love affair. ... You don't say. I DO say. ... I wanna take you love-birds to dinner.
     
48. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-03-16 Dick 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-03-16 Pub. Date: 2010-03-16
Image Number: 45145
Caption: Susan's been dating Dick Fink for months. She's probably happy and fulfilled. Hold on! … Are you jealous of Dick, or are you jealous of SUSAN?! Maybe you didn't want SUSAN! Maybe you wanted what Susan HAS! Happiness! Love! … With a hairy, shady gerbil of a man? Not wise to stand in the way of the therapy-breakthrough train. "Therapy-breakthrough train"? Too clunky?
     
49. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-01-15 Dick 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-01-15 Pub. Date: 2010-01-15
Image Number: 42961
Caption: Oh don't act so insulted. My friend Lemont's engaged to this evil woman who's totally wrong for him. I've tried talking sense into him for years, Dick. Years. I didn't know what else to do. So you told him you were madly in love with ME … … So he'd know what it felt like to have a friend who's involved with the "scum of the Earth." Well, it WAS you who tried to have me deported. That was never proven.
     
50. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-01-14 Dick 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-01-14 Pub. Date: 2010-01-14
Image Number: 42960
Caption: At the ad agency … I need you to do me a little favor, Dick. Tiny, teensy little favor. And feel free to say no if any way you find this to be unprofessional. Ok. Next time my friend Lemont calls, I need you to pretend you and I are having a mad, passionate love affair. Ok. What? And I need you to collate these memos.
     
51. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-01-09 Dick 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-01-09 Pub. Date: 2010-01-09
Image Number: 42641
Caption: Dick Fink. As my assistant, you've betrayed me, humiliated me time and again … And I'm pretty sure it was you who sold my car on e-bay. That was never proven. But I have faith that anyone can change, Dick. Even you. Gotta say, for someone asking for a personal favor, this isn't exactly the best preamble. After all, even Kai Winn redeemed herself in the fire caves on Planet Bajor, and I hang out with Lemont way too much.
     
52. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-01-06 Dick 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-01-06 Pub. Date: 2010-01-06
Image Number: 42638
Caption: Fear, Inc. I called you all here because the Fox "News" division is blowing you all out of the water. Figmond Trip, I'm looking at you. Your tea party division especially was a serious disappointment. Sir, I don't think that's fair. I mean, Mr. Armey and Ms. Bachmann had no chance against Fox's O'Reilly and Hannity. I mean, the three-legged race is stacked in their favor. Hannity's inhumanly quick. I suspect steroids, if you wanna know the truth. ... Um, we're not talking about last week's picnic, are we. Sit down, Figmond.
     
53. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-08-28 Dick 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-08-28 Pub. Date: 2009-08-28
Image Number: 37759
Caption: How did this happen? How did you fall for Dick Fink? I don't know. OF COURSE you know! "I don't know" is ALWAYS A LIE! No I don't! No it's not! And why are you yelling at me?! I was about to tell you it's over between Roxanne and me and I finally realized it's you I want, but now it's too late and I'm a pathetic fool for waiting so long. I don't know. See?
     
54. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-08-27 Dick 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-08-27 Pub. Date: 2009-08-27
Image Number: 37758
Caption: What exactly do you see in Macpink? Dick Fink. Whatever. He knows just what to do. One time at work, he was on the phone with a friend and I was trying to talk to him about something urgent but he ignored me. Just before I left, he stroked my hair. Then he ignored me again. Oh, I see. So what you're saying is HE'S A COMPLETE #$*@%! OH, yeah. AAAAAAAH!!
     
55. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-08-26 Dick 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-08-26 Pub. Date: 2009-08-26
Image Number: 37757
Caption: I don't believe you've got the hots for that guy at work, Macstink. Dick Fink. Whatever. I mean yeah, you mentioned that you respected his artwork, but you said he was a sleazy womanizer! You said he seduced a married woman who had kids! You said he seduced another happily married woman and broke up her marriage! Yeah, but he feels guilty every time he's bad, which means he's good. ARE YOU LISTENING TO YOURSELF, WOMAN?!
     
56. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-08-25 Dick 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-08-25 Pub. Date: 2009-08-25
Image Number: 37756
Caption: Wait … Dick Fink … Isn't he that guy you used to say was ugly? You used to say he was fat, had huge ears, and no chin? The guy who you've told me has a habit of seducing married women? Dick Fink the homewrecker? The egotist?! The player?! THAT is the guy you've the HOTS for? Susan! I thought you were smarter than that! Chins are overrated. I CAN'T TAKE IT!!!
     
57. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-08-24 Dick 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-08-24 Pub. Date: 2009-08-24
Image Number: 37755
Caption: When you say you've "met someone," you mean like some annoying kid you never want to see again. No Lemont. I've developed feelings for someone at work. By that you mean feelings of derision, or mild, detached admiration. I've got the hots for Dick Fink. Could be he gave you the bird flu. That's a symptom. Um ... Is there something wrong? Probably, he sounds shady. You might wanna avoid him from now on.
     
58. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-05-12 Dick 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-08-04 Pub. Date: 2006-05-12
Image Number: 13722
Caption: What's going on in here, Garcia? Mr. Fitzhugh, Dick Fink, my assistant, tried to trick me into signing this resignation letter. He's after my job. Ms. Garcia, are you questioning my character? I'm a hard-working family man. Notice he's not denying it. Oh, I'm shocked. My delicate sensibilities can't take these irresponsible allegations. He's not denying it. It's not nice to attack a family man's character, Garcia.
     
59. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-05-11 Dick 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-08-03 Pub. Date: 2006-05-11
Image Number: 13699
Caption: Ok, Miss Garcia. Just sign these memos here, here and here. Thanks, Dick. Scribble scribble scribble. Wait … Since when have I signed memos? Oh, yeah. My bad. I just take those back. Did that say "resignation"? No hablo ingles.
     
60. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-06-06 Dick 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-06-06 Pub. Date: 2009-06-06
Image Number: 34736
Caption: Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Twitter. twitter.com/candorville. Dick Cheney just refuses to get off my TV. Apparently during the years 2001-2008, his secret undisclosed location was the year 2009.
     
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