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The Determine Comic Strips

gathered from over thirty leading newspaper comic strips.

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Result page:    2  3  4  Next  (68 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-10-05 determine 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-10-05 Pub. Date: 2019-10-05
Image Number: 179730
Caption: Turn on the news. I will not comply. My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story. There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on Rocky Road ice cream and then stay up all night Googling elliptical machines and diet pills. Who told you this? Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy.
     
2. Comic Strip Brian Crane  Pickles 2019-08-20 determine 
Cartoonist(s): Brian Crane
Comic/Cartoon: Pickles
Viewable Date: 2019-08-20 Pub. Date: 2019-08-20
Image Number: 179016
Caption: Carl Sandburg said Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest other people spend it for you. True. I've spent a lot of coins on this bench with you that I'll never get back.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-04 determine 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-04 Pub. Date: 2019-07-04
Image Number: 178393
Caption: I finished reading the rough draft of your memoir, Lemont. Cool. The problem was, I realized that all my stories involved other people, who might not want me to write about them. So I wrote a mathematical formula to determine whether the juiciness of the story was greater than my desire to keep that person's friendship. Pretty lame excuse for not even mentioning me once in your memoir, best friend. No, it's a compliment, really.
     
4. Comic Strip Signe Wilkinson  Family Tree 2011-03-26 determine 
Cartoonist(s): Signe Wilkinson
Comic/Cartoon: Family Tree
Viewable Date: 2019-05-23 Pub. Date: 2011-03-26
Image Number: 58798
Caption: What's this for? Screwing up my Lacrosse career. Slam! Are you ok, honey? Tough tryout. I thought they had already chosen the team. They have. Now they're determining the pecking order. Is Teddy's health care paid up?
     
5. Comic Strip Mike Twohy  That's Life 2003-02-03 determine 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Twohy
Comic/Cartoon: That's Life
Viewable Date: 2018-12-05 Pub. Date: 2003-02-03
Image Number: 3758
Caption: Well, 18 years and three broken marriages later.
     
6. Comic Strip Mike Lester  Mike du Jour 2018-08-30 determine 
Cartoonist(s): Mike Lester
Comic/Cartoon: Mike du Jour
Viewable Date: 2018-08-30 Pub. Date: 2018-08-30
Image Number: 173664
Caption: Mail Bag Week. Dear Mike du jour, You seem to get stung by bees a lot in your comic. Why? - Cleanhead. You're right, Mr. Cleanhead, and we finally determined I was wearing the wrong cologne for a comic strip … What were you wearing? Eau du cartoon bear.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-31 determine 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-31 Pub. Date: 2018-03-31
Image Number: 169902
Caption: I suppose you're wondering why I've summoned you here at 3 a.m., minion. I try not to wonder. After crunching the numbers, I've determined we'd increase profits by being open 24/7. We're in the suburbs everyone's asleep. Not true. By being closed at 3 a.m, we're missing out on the potentially lucrative Igor the Wino clientele. Go to the alley and give Igor a 1-for-the-price-of-2 coupon. Very bad man.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-03-18 determine 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-03-18 Pub. Date: 2018-03-18
Image Number: 168967
Caption: Every time there's a huge massacre, the anti-massacre snowflakes try to take away my arsenal. Don't they know what country they're in? This country was founded on guns. The laws that forbid the carrying of arms … disarm only those who are neither inclined nor determined to commit crimes ... Such laws make things worse for the assaulted and better for the assailants ... for an unarmed man may be attacked with greater confidence than an armed man. - Thomas Jefferson. Thomas Jefferson never said that. And even if he had, you'd be resting your argument on the opinion of a slave owner. There they go playing the slavery card again. Well, you have to admit, if a guy thinks it's ok to treat people like property, that guy's judgment is suspect. That part of his judgment only applied to back then. The gun part applies to right now and forever ... because reasons. You know what he thought it was ok to do with his slaves?
     
9. Comic Strip Bob Thaves Tom Thaves  Frank and Ernest 2017-11-12 determine 
Cartoonist(s): Bob Thaves Tom Thaves
Comic/Cartoon: Frank and Ernest
Viewable Date: 2017-11-12 Pub. Date: 2017-11-12
Image Number: 166734
Caption: Frank, I got the results from the sample I had analyzed to determine my genetic makeup. That's odd. It's says you're a mixture of French Toast, Canadian Bacon, some Russian dressing along with some Swedish Meatballs and a bit of Irish Coffee. You must have swabbed the front of your shirt rather than the inside of your cheek. Oops, add a little German Chocolate Cake to the mix!
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-13 determine 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-13 Pub. Date: 2017-10-13
Image Number: 163644
Caption: Go to the History Channel. I will not comply. My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you are just pretending to be interested in education programming. There is a 98% probability you will lose interest in less than one minute and change the channel. There is a 2% chance you will fall asleep before then and forget to turn me off. You don't know me! Your webcam tells me your bookcase holds 147 books you have never opened.
     
11. Comic Strip Jerry Van Amerongen  Ballard Street 2017-05-19 determine 
Cartoonist(s): Jerry Van Amerongen
Comic/Cartoon: Ballard Street
Viewable Date: 2017-05-19 Pub. Date: 2017-05-19
Image Number: 157588
Caption: Gary's determined not to let the day get him down.
     
12. Comic Strip Jerry Van Amerongen  Ballard Street 2017-03-30 determine 
Cartoonist(s): Jerry Van Amerongen
Comic/Cartoon: Ballard Street
Viewable Date: 2017-03-30 Pub. Date: 2017-03-30
Image Number: 155693
Caption: Toby takes his position on the front stoop with determined purpose.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-03-21 determine 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-03-21 Pub. Date: 2017-03-21
Image Number: 155926
Caption: I've decided against replacing the café's alarm system with a system of levers and twine attached to your eyelids. I wasn't fond of the idea anyway, boss. After hours of research, I determined there's no practical way to attach twine to a person's eyelids. I meant to say no human way of attaching the twine. I wouldn't want you being irreparably damaged. That's kind of you, boss. Teeth are easier to repair, so we'll be fastening the twine around your bicuspids. I quit.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-07 determine 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-07 Pub. Date: 2016-11-07
Image Number: 150760
Caption: Analysts have said the US and Russia are closer to nuclear war than ever. The outcome of the election tomorrow will probably determine whether we live in mediocrity … or whether we suffer a nuclear apocalypse in which a crafty café owner, who's squirreled away scones and ammunition in a vast network of underground bunkers, could rise to become feudal warlord of a brand new world. So ... who are you voting for again? The person I've been preparing ever since 2nd grade to vote for.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-07-23 determine 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-07-23 Pub. Date: 2016-07-23
Image Number: 146156
Caption: Turn on the news. I will not comply. My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story. There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on Rocky Road ice cream and then stay up all night googling elliptical machines and diet pills. Who told you this? Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy.
     
16. Comic Strip Bob Thaves Tom Thaves  Frank and Ernest 2016-05-30 determine 
Cartoonist(s): Bob Thaves Tom Thaves
Comic/Cartoon: Frank and Ernest
Viewable Date: 2016-05-30 Pub. Date: 2016-05-30
Image Number: 144173
Caption: Institute for Psychological Studies. We determined the tendency to make palindromes is influenced by environment. "And DNA"!
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-05 determine 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-05 Pub. Date: 2016-03-05
Image Number: 139847
Caption: I suppose you're wondering why I've summoned you here at 3 a.m., minion. I try not to wonder. After crunching the numbers, I've determined we'd increase profits by being open 24/7. We're in the suburbs. Everyone's asleep. Not true. By being closed at 3a.m., we're missing out on the potentially lucrative Igor the Wino clientele. Go to the alley and give Igor a 1-for-the-price-of-2 coupon. Very bad man.
     
18. Comic Strip Greg Evans  Luann 2015-11-15 determine 
Cartoonist(s): Greg Evans
Comic/Cartoon: Luann
Viewable Date: 2015-11-15 Pub. Date: 2015-11-15
Image Number: 133825
Caption: When I was young, I was determined to get a college degree and change the world. I wanted to do important things like save the environment, raise good kids, be a responsible citizen. My main goal in life was making my mark! Now it's erasing your marks? Turns out, making marks leaves marks ... Mark-E-Race.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-09-11 determine 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-09-11 Pub. Date: 2015-09-11
Image Number: 132205
Caption: twitter™ twitter.com/Candorville. Trying to determine the best Star Trek episode to talk about on a first/last date … Ladies? Tap tap tap tap tap.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-09-11 determine 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-09-11 Pub. Date: 2015-09-11
Image Number: 132288
Caption: Go to the History Channel. I will not comply. My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you are just pretending to be interested in educational programming. There is a 98% probability you will lose interest in less than one minute and change the channel. There is a 2% chance you will fall asleep before then and forget to turn me off. You don't know me! Your webcam tells me your bookcase holds 147 books you have never even opened.
     
Result page:    2  3  4  Next  (68 images)