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Candorville

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Result page:    2  Next  (33 images)


1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-30 deserve 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-30 Pub. Date: 2019-04-30
Image Number: 177384
Caption: Guess who won a Pulitzer Prize for his latest album, bruh? Ain't that that prize you been try'na win since we was six? It don't bother you that I won it before you did, do it? Of course not. I'm censored thrilled for you. I couldn't be happier. You censored deserve it, you censored censored! So we cool, then? Of course, why the censored would you ask?
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-27 deserve 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-27 Pub. Date: 2017-12-27
Image Number: 166535
Caption: There was another police shooting caught on video. An unarmed guy in a hallway begging for his life. The cops were barking orders at him for minutes. The guy looked so scared and confused. I heard 'bout that. I went online an' some of the people be like "Why he didn't follow directions right? I'da shot him too." This the only country where people say you deserve to get shot 'cause you was confused. I asked "Why didn't they taze him" and people said I was "virtue-signaling."
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-14 deserve 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-14 Pub. Date: 2017-02-14
Image Number: 154533
Caption: It's tough to be principled, Susan. I'm a non-violent guy. But whenever I hear about the atrocities ISIS commits … I kind of wish we could round them up and spank them all with angry porcupines. That is kind of cruel, Lemont. I know. What did the porcupines do to deserve that?
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-25 deserve 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-25 Pub. Date: 2016-12-25
Image Number: 151999
Caption: You know what really, really bugs me? People who get all upset just because I always let my dog off his leash where I'm not supposed to. Last week, Killer and I were taking our usual stroll in the park. I let the little fella off his leash just so he could get some real exercise. He deserves it as much as anyone. When he got maybe 1,000 feet from me, he came across some kid's birthday party. Killer's a curious little fella, so naturally he darted into the Bouncy House. Next thing you know, there was all this screaming, just 'cause Killer started licking the birthday boy's face and chewing on his hair. All that screaming hurt poor Killer's feelings, so naturally he started growling. Then I told them Killer was friendly, so that should've been that, right? Can you believe they demanded I buy the kid new pants? It's not my fault they never potty trained him. Forget the dogs, it's the owners who should have to get licensed.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-08 deserve 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-08 Pub. Date: 2016-07-08
Image Number: 145506
Caption: … so then they offered me a raise. But it wasn't as much of a raise as I deserved. That's when I reminded them I've personally brought in 72% of our major clients … and that most of those clients have asked to work only with me … so they added $50k per year to their offer. I found a $20 bill in my couch the other day.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-02-20 deserve 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-02-20 Pub. Date: 2016-02-20
Image Number: 139239
Caption: You look happy, Lemont. I am happy! Because I just had an epiphany! The reason I keep choosing the wrong women, the wrong job, the wrong friends, the wrong toilet paper … it's because I just don't believe I deserve to be happy! Finding out I can't stand to be happy makes me very happy. Which ... makes me miserable.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-10-26 deserve 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-10-26 Pub. Date: 2015-10-26
Image Number: 134382
Caption: Hey Mister … what's the big deal about the new Star Wars trailer? Omigawd … I haven't seen so much emotion and tragedy and hope all at the same time since "Empire"! And it’s got acting! And it feels real! And it's got Leia and Han and Chewie, and everything that made Star Wars real to me even when I was seven! I've been waiting for this my whole life! My brother was right. Ask a really old guy about that trailer and he'll go nuts. You brother doesn't deserve real Star Wars.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-04-13 deserve 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-04-13 Pub. Date: 2015-04-13
Image Number: 125562
Caption: This country hopelessly broken, dawg. When that middle-aged brotha Walter Scott got shot down in the back like a dog, an' it was all caught on video … I thought "this time, ain't NOBODY gonna say the black man deserved it." I told you, whenever the police shoot an unarmed black man, stay off the internet. How anyone s'posed to stay off the net THAT often?
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-02-10 deserve 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-02-10 Pub. Date: 2015-02-10
Image Number: 122690
Caption: It's tough to be principled, Susan. I'm a non-violent guy. But whenever I hear about the atrocities ISIS commits … I kind of wish we could round them up and spank them all with angry porcupines. That is kind of cruel, Lemont. I know. What did the porcupines do to deserve that?
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-12-25 deserve 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-12-25 Pub. Date: 2014-12-25
Image Number: 120258
Caption: I don't see why you need to show your son "The Cosby Show," Lemont. If he did what they say he did, he deserves to be erased from history. Which "he," Susan? When you're discussing two people in one sentence, you have to be specific about which one you're referring to in the following sentence. Don't change the subject. How can I? You haven't specified one.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-10-05 deserve 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-10-05 Pub. Date: 2014-10-05
Image Number: 116484
Caption: The Economist ran a book review where they called for a more "objective" look at slavery. They whined that "almost all the blacks in [this] book are victims, almost all the whites are villains." What, that surprise you, Big L.? Next thing you know, people gonna look into the slaves' high school records to see if they ever got suspended. Then they gonna go through the slaves' Facebook photos an' if they don't find no thug poses, they'll just Photoshop some gold teeth on the bruthas. They'll say Kunta Kinte stole a pack of cotton balls so he deserved what he got. Good talk, Clyde.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-10-03 deserve 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-10-03 Pub. Date: 2014-10-03
Image Number: 117060
Caption: … Because when libs talk "equal opportunity," they really mean "give me stuff I didn't earn." If you can't afford something, don't expect government to give it to you. If you didn't work hard enough to afford it, you just can't have it. Freeloaders. No, I asked why you're in favor of vouchers for private schools. Oh. 'Cause poor kids deserve private school too. (This cartoon was originally published on 2012-06-02).
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-07-09 deserve 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-07-09 Pub. Date: 2014-07-09
Image Number: 113446
Caption: I don’t want you to take me back, Susan. I don’t deserve you. Are you trying "reverse-psychology" on me? No, Susan. I'm only here to warn you: do not take me back. I'm as dangerous as an untamed lion. I would eat you alive. Trick … not … working … I'm the guy your mom warned you about.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-02-02 deserve 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-02-02 Pub. Date: 2014-02-02
Image Number: 106504
Caption: Everyone is starting to say I have a hard time accepting blame. Dr. Noodle. But that's not my fault. They're the ones who for some stupid reason can't get it through their thick heads that I don’t deserve any blame in the first place. Well … if "everyone" thinks you're to blame for something, there's a good chance you are. Y'know ... on second thought I just don't think we're a good match. It's possible your refusal to accept blame was caused by the way your parents raised you. On third thought ... Tell me more ...
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-01-13 deserve 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-01-13 Pub. Date: 2013-01-13
Image Number: 91704
Caption: Why do all my relationships end in disaster? Is it me? Or is it bad luck? I refuse to answer on the grounds you may hold it against me. Don’t be silly, Lemont. You're my friend. I want your complete honesty. Well … Ok … If you're sure. The problem, Susan, is you. You're the common denominator. You seem to have it all together bit deep down you're a self-destructive, insecure mess and that's why you're attracted to complete jerks. You want guys who'll treat you as bad as you think you deserve to be treated. I KNEW IT!! See? I don't like being treated badly.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-07-18 deserve 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-07-18 Pub. Date: 2012-07-18
Image Number: 84246
Caption: I don’t want you to take me back, Susan. I don’t deserve you. Are you trying to "reverse-psychology" me? No, Susan. I'm only here to warn you: Do not take me back. I'm as dangerous as an untamed lion. I would eat you alive. Trick … Not … Working … I'm the guy your mom warned you about.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-06-02 deserve 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-06-02 Pub. Date: 2012-06-02
Image Number: 81467
Caption: … Because when libs talk "equal opportunity," they really mean "give me stuff I didn't earn." If you can't afford something, don't expect government to give it to you. If you didn't work hard enough to afford it, you just can't have it. Freeloaders. No, I asked why you're in favor of vouchers for private schools. Oh. 'Cause poor kids deserve private school too.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-04-03 deserve 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-04-03 Pub. Date: 2012-04-03
Image Number: 78533
Caption: Trayvon Martin visits Lemont's dream. After the shock wore off, America settled into its usual pattern. People tried to justify your death. They pointed out that you may have fought back. They brought up every little dumb teenage mistake you'd ever made, made up a few more, and posted some of your slang-filled tweets ... Because it's easier to sleep at night if we convince ourselves that people deserve the horrible things that happen to them. How's all that make you feel? Not lol.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-12-23 deserve 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-12-23 Pub. Date: 2011-12-23
Image Number: 74337
Caption: Susan, do you want to spend Christmas with Lionel and me? I wish I could, bit I'm invited to the Christmas party at McMahon, Tate, Stephens & Evans. They're the ad firm that's trying to take over Fitzhugh & Fitzhugh. You're going to smooth things over? I'm going to spike their eggnog so they'll divulge secrets I can use to thwart the takeover, thereby proving to old man Fitzhugh that I deserve to be made partner. That's the Christmas spirit. Wish me good hunting.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-12-08 deserve 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-12-08 Pub. Date: 2011-12-08
Image Number: 31626
Caption: Sir, I deserve a promotion and a raise. Garcia, ever seen my valedictorian trophy? After Yale, I did graduate work at the Larry Tate College of Advertising. All my years of training have prepared me for this moment. …Hand me that trophy. Click. RUUMBLE. ...Sir? (Published originally on 2009-04-16)
     
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