Why do you hafta go to Ruthia, Daddy? Going to Russia's my job, son. You know Bradley'th daddy doethn't go to Ruthia to look for the pwethident. Bradley's daddy isn't a journalist who's trying to find out if the president has defected. What'th Bradley'th daddy'th job? He's a convict. What'th a convict? Someone with a lot of conviction.
This "paper" of yours is defective, dude. Defective? I'm writing a paper text message to grampa, an' I actually MISSPELLED something. Paper has no spell check. And the backlight's busted.