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1. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-12-01 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-12-01 |
| Image Number: |
180584 |
| Caption: |
I saw that article you wrote about how California should do a public takeover of that PG&E utility company … just because they seem to keep starting massive wildfires. And to stop that they keep turning off power for millions of people. Yeah. The state's publicly-owned utilities like SMUD and Silicon Valley Power don't seem to get themselves into these predicaments. Maybe that's because they don't spend their money on lobbyists, fancy dinners, huge salaries, or dividend payments. Yeah, but Venezuela. Um ... What? That's the universally recognized trump card for any conversation. So declared by the International Association of Weaselly Arguments. I don't recognize their authority. Venezuela.
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2. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-10-06 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-10-06 |
| Image Number: |
179752 |
| Caption: |
Fad Herald special announcement. Please let me be hip … Please let me be hip … Hear ye: For the remainder of this year, I will regularly declare the biggest fads of the decade. It's on! It is so decreed the following is the best bad joke of the decade: That's what she said. Powerful. Oh, no he didn't! I like it! That's what she said. I'll be back. That's what she said!!! Makes no sense.
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3. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-09-08 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-09-08 |
| Image Number: |
179310 |
| Caption: |
Prepare for the fad herald. If only he'd be my Facebook friend. Today, a special announcement. Special announcement? Hubbub hubbub hubbub. I speak to you today of Twitter. We have an unusual split decision with regard to a strange concept with a captivating name. Hear ye: The brand name Twitter is: In. But actually using the service is: Out. You may commence with not bothering to tweet or learn anything more about it. So declared. Free @last.
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4. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-06-06 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-06-06 |
| Image Number: |
177965 |
| Caption: |
Darlene? Rudy? I heard you might be hanging out here. I thought I'd come by just to say hello and see how you're doing. That's nice. Coffee King. I love you. Hence Coffee King. House of Java.
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5. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-06-02 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-06-02 |
| Image Number: |
177793 |
| Caption: |
I've noticed a 25.9% uptick in impeachment talk among the patrons. I hadn't noticed. I've also noticed your complete and utter failure to depict those talking about it as sore losers … As delusional, evil, insane cretins having temper tantrums. So what if my disgraced former lawyer says he bribed the city council on my behalf to forbid any cafes but mine within city limits? What about the phenomenal job growth I've caused? I now employ you, a Roomba and, allegedly, nine out of ten city council members. Now get out there and pit our patrons against one another by declaring this witch hunt to be an illegal coup. And remind them you can't impeach a cafe owner for creating a great underground economy. Very bad man.
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6. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2019-02-19 |
Pub. Date: |
2019-02-19 |
| Image Number: |
176398 |
| Caption: |
I'm declaring my candidacy. For what? Health Commissioner of Candorville, the fine nearly township from whence my clan hails. I'm going to right the ship of America. Bring it on, whiny Democrats! I miss the jungle.
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7. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-08-16 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-08-16 |
| Image Number: |
173502 |
| Caption: |
America betrayed its Japanese citizens. Stole their homes. Shipped them at gunpoint to concentration camps. Demeaned them. Dehumanized them. Declared them aliens. Abused them … but when I interviewed five-year-old George, he was … ok. Not happy, but … ok. His dad had told him it was all part of their vacation. Wait ... back up ... you're saying you snuck into an air duct here in Candorville ... and climbed out of it in an internment camp in Arkansas in the year 1942? That's not important right now. Important part is, kids can be ok with anything ... as long as they've got mom and dad there to lie to them.
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8. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-04-05 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-04-05 |
| Image Number: |
170207 |
| Caption: |
Remington is filing for bankruptcy. They're going away. No they're not. The gun manufacturer is just filing for chapter 11 bankruptcy. It'll let them stay in business and weasel out of paying their creditors at the same time. Lots of businesses do it, all the time. It's the American way. Maybe I'll declare chapter 11 so I can weasel out too. Don't be foolish, the American way is for corporate citizens, not citizen-citizens.
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9. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Dave Coverly |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Speed Bump |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-03-26 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-03-26 |
| Image Number: |
169783 |
| Caption: |
Customs. Are you carrying any food, plants or dangerous ideas about a more equitable health care system. 2.
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10. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2017-11-08 |
Pub. Date: |
2017-11-08 |
| Image Number: |
164675 |
| Caption: |
What can I get you, Uncle Mort? An answer. How many countries are we at war with right now? One? … No wait … Two? No wait … Seven? … No wait … oh yeah. The answer is none. If none of them are "declared." Then none of them count as "wars." It's in the Constitution. That's not what the Constitution means!!!
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11. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
John Deering |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Strange Brew |
| Viewable Date: |
2017-11-04 |
Pub. Date: |
2017-11-04 |
| Image Number: |
164432 |
| Caption: |
Hellooo? Hey! We're declaring refugee status!
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12. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2017-10-22 |
Pub. Date: |
2017-10-22 |
| Image Number: |
163490 |
| Caption: |
I’d like to declare my interest. In what? Commitment. Two kids and a dog. Commitment to kids and a dog? And to going for long walks on the beach, to gazing up at the stars, to growing old together … What? I thought you were talking about two kids. That sounds like eight. And why would only tow grow old together? What about the other six? Are you saying they'll grow old at different rates? ... Or are you saying the other six will meet some untimely fate and not grow old at all? Then she asked if I was implying the dog ate the other six. I've never seen someone so expertly change the subject before.
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13. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Rudy Park |
| Viewable Date: |
2017-05-15 |
Pub. Date: |
2017-05-15 |
| Image Number: |
158088 |
| Caption: |
I heard oil companies just discovered huge reservoirs of oil way under the ground, all around our town. But they can't get at it because President Obama declared the whole region a national monument before he left. Why would he do that? Doesn't he know we use oil to make plastic, and that my Playstation is totally made of plastic? What happens of I ever need to buy a fourth Playstation 4? He's endangering my supply just to save a bunch of trees and mountains and waterfalls and endangered bearicorns. Until recently, people thought the bearicorn was a myth, and ... wait, you have three Playstations?
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14. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Bob Thaves Tom Thaves |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Frank and Ernest |
| Viewable Date: |
2017-04-02 |
Pub. Date: |
2017-04-02 |
| Image Number: |
156939 |
| Caption: |
Tax Preparer. I'm working on my client's tax returns. Mars, being the "red planet," is claiming a business operating loss. Jupiter, with all those moons, takes deductions for almost 70 dependents. And earth has no new nations this year ... so no "capitol gains" to declare. Did Mercury lower his taxes? Yeah, he's eligible for a huge solar energy tax credit! |
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15. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Bob Thaves |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
King Baloo |
| Viewable Date: |
2017-03-01 |
Pub. Date: |
1988-08-08 |
| Image Number: |
238 |
| Caption: |
It's time to get up! You can't just declare Daylight Savings Time! |
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16. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
John Deering |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Strange Brew |
| Viewable Date: |
2017-01-23 |
Pub. Date: |
2017-01-23 |
| Image Number: |
153713 |
| Caption: |
We apologize for this glimpse into the all-too-near future … My friends, let me be the first to declare that I have the 20/20 vision to lead this great nation in 2020!
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17. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Bob Thaves Tom Thaves |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Frank and Ernest |
| Viewable Date: |
2016-08-21 |
Pub. Date: |
2016-08-21 |
| Image Number: |
147554 |
| Caption: |
TV Junkie Ernie at the Olympics. Rio 2016. A cyclist didn't slow down for the curve and crashed! "Ohh ... 'Braking Bad"! The track star from the United States is resting up for his big race. "American Idle"! That group of athletes over there is being investigated for cheating. "The Shady Bunch." The javelin event is a simple contest. Whoever hurled it the futthest is declared the winner. "Game of Throwns"! |
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18. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Mike Lester |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Mike du Jour |
| Viewable Date: |
2016-06-09 |
Pub. Date: |
2016-06-09 |
| Image Number: |
144228 |
| Caption: |
What's the Word O' the Day, Phil? "Declare." When you throw-up an éclair. Well done, grasshopper. Sports Grady wins. |
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19. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Brian Crane |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Pickles |
| Viewable Date: |
2015-08-28 |
Pub. Date: |
2015-08-28 |
| Image Number: |
131333 |
| Caption: |
Earl, have you ever actually told Sylvia that you love her? What? Of course I have! What kind of silly question is that? Are you sure? She told me she's never heard you tell her you love her. Really? What do I need to do, get it notarized? |
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20. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Dave Coverly |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Speed Bump |
| Viewable Date: |
2015-05-02 |
Pub. Date: |
2015-05-02 |
| Image Number: |
125942 |
| Caption: |
Stop following me! Coast. 1, 2, 3, 4. I declare a thumb war. |
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