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Candorville

Comics about deaths.

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-11-10 death 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-11-10 Pub. Date: 2019-11-10
Image Number: 180284
Caption: My Uncle Elroy passed away. I have so many regrets. We were never all that close. But he was always there, for all my graduations, for all the family dinners, and to take me to ballgames. But the last three years, our relationship was … not good. We argued all the time about Donald Trump. Oh my. He fell for ever conspiracy theory. He'd send me link after link to dailynutjob.com, and I'd respond with links of my own to actual news, to scientific journals, etc. The last time we messaged each other, he accused me of being part of the Deep State, and I accused him of being gullible. I see. You regret that you wasted his last years on earth arguing about Donald Trump. I regret that Uncle Elroy's not here to see Donald Trump finally get impeached.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-10-01 death 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-10-01 Pub. Date: 2019-10-01
Image Number: 179726
Caption: Why did you just dump my kiwi-colada smoothies on my head? I'm glad you huff asked. Studies huff show that sitting all huff day long behind a desk leads huff to obesity, sickness, huff toe-swelling huff and an early, huff excruciating huff death. So more huff and more huff office workers are using huff standing desks huff with treadmills. Have you ever huff tried handing someone huff a smoothie while running huff on a treadmill? They walk ... Walk.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-09-29 death 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-09-29 Pub. Date: 2019-09-29
Image Number: 179616
Caption: I'm tired of working, Randy. One of my ancestors put it best. It was the early days of the Roman Republic. Randius Taylorus Maximus was a soldier in the Roman phalanx. That bored him to death. All the clumsy formations, all the cumbersome gear, all the losing ... so he deserted and joined up with the Spartans. That's where he stopped working for a living, and got to do what he loved. He got to oil up and go into battle half-naked, with nothing but his shield, his sword and his loincloth. Years later, he adventured across the world on the back of Tito, the last living woolly mammoth. That's when he met Buddha, who took credit for Randius' motto: Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life. I just meant I felt like taking a nap.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-07 death 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-07 Pub. Date: 2019-07-07
Image Number: 178419
Caption: Do you think there's life after death, Clyde? 'Course there is, Big L. You know how much death there been? What do you mean? It's been calculated that in all the time people been here, 100.8 billion of them have died. But C-Dog still here, bruh. This isn't all about you, Clyde. Ask Socrates if this all about me ... Oh, you can't.'Cause he dead. An' I ain't. Good talk, Clyde.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-25 death 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-25 Pub. Date: 2019-06-25
Image Number: 178256
Caption: You know why else our cozy camps aren't concentration camps? Did you just say cozy camps? Yes. How else would you describe camps where thousands and thousands of people get to cuddle in cages to house much fewer … where we intern tiny tots, and where scarce resources have so far cause the gentle parting of 30 adults and children (that we know of)? Gentle part- ... do you mean death? I mean expiration.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-29 death 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-29 Pub. Date: 2019-05-29
Image Number: 177795
Caption: Guess who walked into the offices of Fitzhugh, Fitzhugh & Fitzhugh today? The national security adviser. He said Military-Industrial Death Empire Corp is looking for help marketing their new product, Iran War. This is a big coup for us. McMahon, Tate & Stephens has been handling their advertising ever since the Spanish-American War. Congratulations.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-13 death 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-13 Pub. Date: 2019-05-13
Image Number: 177620
Caption: Did you see the new Sandra Bland video? The police found it on her phone two months after she died and hid it for four years. I still can't believe that cop flipped out on her like that after stopping her for a turn signal. It's just not safe for us out there. Happen all the time, Big L. That's why I started that GoFundMe. Black people aren't going to give you money to build escape-catapult seats for our cars. Already got 52,000 orders.
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-12 death 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-12 Pub. Date: 2019-04-12
Image Number: 177117
Caption: What you just say life is? A parade of air-bursting bolides. When an extremely bright meteor hurtles toward earth, it's a bolide. If it blows up when it enters our atmosphere instead of impacting the surface … that's an airburst. Every opportunity we miss. Every time we narrowly avoid death. Every time we didn't eat a burrito that had just gone bad ... You tellin' me that burrito I snuck from you was old? Some bolides explode elsewhere.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-05 death 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-05 Pub. Date: 2019-04-05
Image Number: 177046
Caption: Looks like the President's finally going to destroy Obamacare. Millions would lose their insurance. Millions more would be thrown of Medicaid. Tens of thousands will die because they won't be covered anymore. On the bright side, I'll be able to tell all my old "pre-existing conditions" jokes again. They do say laughter keep you healthy.
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-17 death 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-17 Pub. Date: 2019-01-17
Image Number: 175843
Caption: You writin' another article about them two that shot little Jazmine Barnes? Her death has to mean something. America cared because people thought racism cause it. Now that we know it didn't … This is an opportunity to get America to care about what did cause it. America caused it. I mean specifically.
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-08 death 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-08 Pub. Date: 2019-01-08
Image Number: 175737
Caption: William Shakespeare didn't really write any of those plays. Biggie an' Tupac faked they own deaths. We never went to the moon. Elvis an' Hitler faked they own deaths. Lizard people fun the world. Yo momma never loved you. When Name Your Favorite Conspiracy Theories Goes Wrong. Your girlfriend be cheatin' on you.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-12-01 death 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-12-01 Pub. Date: 2018-12-01
Image Number: 175159
Caption: I've lived a very long time, dork-boy, and I've seen a lot of people die early. I know the signs. What are they? There are too many to tell you in the time we have left. Go out, Rudy. Dance. Smell the petunias … Today. I'm not falling for it. See the world. Well ... see the city, at least.
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-30 death 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-30 Pub. Date: 2018-11-30
Image Number: 175158
Caption: What brings you to therapy today, Lemont? Ever since I had what most certainly was not a heart attack … I've realized I'm going to die one day. I'm worried about what that'll do to my son. M.A. I see. There comes a time when every person becomes aware of his or her own mortality. The key is to make sure you've prepared your son to pay your final therapy bill. What's the other key?
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-28 death 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-28 Pub. Date: 2018-11-28
Image Number: 175156
Caption: You're on The Ask Sadie Show. What's your problem?! I'm conflicted about the year 2050. In 2050, we'll have several technologies that could let us live forever. No one born after around 1970 might ever have to die. Excellent question. It reminds me of the time a narcissistic caller called someone born way before 1970, just to say he won't have to die, but she will. I will find you and take you with me. Might be for the best. If there is an afterlife, I wouldn't want to miss out on it.
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-26 death 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-26 Pub. Date: 2018-11-26
Image Number: 175154
Caption: Scientists may find a cure for death around the year 2050. It would change everything if we never again had to lose anyone we loved. Of course, we'd also never again lose anyone we hated, either. I guess that's a small price to pay. The only thing that never dies is the futile quest for immortality.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-28 death 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-28 Pub. Date: 2018-10-28
Image Number: 174529
Caption: I hope we never terraform Mars. House of Java Café. Grand Opening. Why not, Randy? Because, if we gave Mars oxygen and air pressure, we wouldn't need space suits. If we gave Mars trees and oceans, it wouldn't be one big desert anymore. There's just something sexy about driving a dune buggy across a desert planet with only half an inch of space helmet separating you from certain death. Also, if we give it a magnetic field, we wouldn't be bombarded by radiation. Ok ... I'll bite ... what's bad about not being bombarded by radiation? Isn't it obvious? When you look at me, little buddy, you're looking at the pinnacle of human evolution. But my line has taken us as far as possible. I come from a long line of Randies. I've traced my lineage all the way back to a romantic primate named Randy Erectus. He was the first hominid to get up off his knuckles and stand up straight, and that as just in response to a beautiful sunset. Imagine what my genes would do in response to a huge dose of radiation? You really should have your own science show.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-19 death 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-19 Pub. Date: 2018-10-19
Image Number: 174495
Caption: I hear your campaign's going very well, Mort. My what is going what now? … For Congress. You campaign for Congress. You were running neck-and-neck for a while with the incumbent, Congressman Snidely. But now you're up by three. Oh. Must be that Blue Wave they keep talking about. Or maybe it's that people find my progressive values to be very attractive. Yeah. That, and they finally buried him, so the mourning period is over. I'm looking forward to the debate.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-10 death 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-10 Pub. Date: 2018-10-10
Image Number: 174389
Caption: I think the worst part of being dumped is the thought that you'll just fade away. I mean, you go from being the most important person in someone's life, to being a memory. It's a slow death. You know that every day you become more and more of a distant memory. Until sooner or later ... you're just gone. One of my exes once told me that. I don't remember which one. Maybe you just have a bad memory, Lemont.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-18 death 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-18 Pub. Date: 2018-09-18
Image Number: 174073
Caption: The President said his response to the Puerto Rico hurricane was an incredible unsung success. It turns our about as many people died because of the hurricane as died on 9/11. And most of them died in the weeks after the hurricane had passed. He could've done a lot more to save those Americans. I still don't see how this is proof the large Hadron collider shifted us into an antonym universe where words mean the opposite of what they meant in our original universe. In the antonymverse, that means you do see it.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-03 death 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-03 Pub. Date: 2018-09-03
Image Number: 173879
Caption: I been thinkin' 'bout John McCain, bruh. How the whole country got together to worship him when he died. When he got captured, he tool it like nobody else alive prolly coulda taken it. Can't take that away from him. But he was wrong about a lot. He supported wars, invasions an' arms sales that got a lot of people slaughtered ... but then, so did America. An' that's why people love him. 'Cause if he still cool, that mean the rest of us still cool too. I think it was because of his sense of humor.
     
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