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Candorville

Comics about death and dying.

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1. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-10 death dying 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-10 Pub. Date: 2018-04-10
Image Number: 170410
Caption: You know why I don't own a gun, Susan? I have a kid. And kids die from accidental gunshots about once every other day. I could live with it if someone else hurt my Lionel. But I could never live with it if I'm the one who hurt him. But I've got buckets of self-defense rocks beneath all our furniture. Dio mio. When I caught Lionel juggling them, I knew I'd made the right decision.
     
2. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-08 death dying 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-08 Pub. Date: 2018-04-08
Image Number: 169718
Caption: Dr. Stephen Hawking saved my life, doc. How so? Dr. Noodle. I was in a deep dark depression. I wanted to end it all. I was about to. But just then, through my tv, I heard this computerized voice announcing his discovery about black holes. They're the most powerful things there are. But he's discovered that theoretically, they lose mass over time, until they're just ... gone. He said things can get out of a black hole both on the outside and possibly to another universe. So if you feel you are in a black hole, don't give up ... there's a way out. His loss is a moral and intellectual void that'll never be filled. Well that's depressing ... and ... now I'm ok.
     
3. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-06 death dying 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-06 Pub. Date: 2018-01-06
Image Number: 166784
Caption: 1982. Do you believe in life after death, Susan? Of course. Me too. It's the first law of thermal dynamics. Energy can neither be created nor destroyed, it can only transmogrify into something else … like a sea anemone. I've decided I'll be a sea anemone. Not a care in the world, it's be a welcome interlude between this life and my next one where I'm a Jedi. I don't know if you get to choose what happens to your energy, Lemont. No offense, but I think Obi-Wan and Yoda know more about that than you do.
     
4. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-15 death dying 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-15 Pub. Date: 2017-12-15
Image Number: 166005
Caption: Ok, I'll go with you to see "Star Wars." But I'm not dressing up as Princess Leia this time. Too painful. I don't want to go to the ladies room, catch a glimpse of my Leia hairbuns, and start crying. I know exactly how you feel. I'm not dressing as Han Solo this time, either. Harrison Ford is still alive. Han Solo wasn't a real person, Lemont. It's not the same. Yeah, but Carrie Fisher's the one I'll see onscreen. In a way, she's still alive too.
     
5. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-15 death dying 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-15 Pub. Date: 2017-10-15
Image Number: 163143
Caption: Hello, you've reached Lowe an' Sharke Lending Club. This is Ryan. How may I hinder you? I just got an ad from you in the mail saying I'm pre-qualified for an $80,000 low-interest loan, with no collateral needed. That's right. All I need is for you to answer a few brief questions so we can see if you qualify. What do you mean? You said I was already pre-qualified. Doesn't "pre-qualified" mean I've been qualified already. No. It means you haven't been qualified yet. What the -- By that definition, everyone in the whole world is "pre-qualified"! That's incorrect, sir. There are about 101 billion post-living people who wouldn't qualify.
     
6. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-10 death dying 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-10 Pub. Date: 2017-09-10
Image Number: 161858
Caption: My uncle keeps sending me crazy, paranoid conspiracy theories he hears on Youtube. Dr. Noodle. It all started a few years ago when he sent me an email about how the victims of the Hindenburg crash were all crisis actors. These same victims died on the Titanic! He wrote. Then he told me President Obama was setting up Femur Camps, where he'd be letting the Illuminati harvest our femur bones for voodoo incantations to turn all our frogs into insomniacs. When I asked him why on earth would anyone want to do that? he said I had been brainwashed by the cabal that runs both the fake news and the pepperoni industries. So I replied why would they waste their time brainwashing me? What would they gain from that? Does your uncle have a hobby? Get him to refer uncle!!! $$$$$$$ ... because it's possible that you're his hobby. He said they've brainwashed me into thinking there's nothing to gain from brainwashing me.
     
7. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-02 death dying 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-02 Pub. Date: 2017-06-02
Image Number: 158604
Caption: Murdered 2nd Lt. Richard Collins III visits Lemont's dream. I'm sorry, I've been doing all the talking. Tell me all about you. Tell me who you are. What you wanted to be. In your own words. Ok, sir. I was going to -- Hey! He was just getting started!
     
8. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-01 death dying 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-01 Pub. Date: 2017-06-01
Image Number: 158603
Caption: Departed 2nd Lieutenant Richard Collins III visits Lemont's dream. Why does my murder affect you so personally? You didn't even know me. M. Maybe that's why. You were graduating from a great school … you were commissioned in the army … By all accounts, you were funny, you were brilliant, you were going to be someone consequential. Someone who could've made history. I SHOULD have someday known you. But now I never will.
     
9. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-31 death dying 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-31 Pub. Date: 2017-05-31
Image Number: 158602
Caption: Departed 2nd Lieutenant Richard Collins III visits Lemont's dream. I'm beyond tired of this. A promising young man, who could've one day been a great general or a president, or a dad … cut down by a white supremacist … or by a cop, or by a thug … I'm tired, tired, tired of this! You're tired of this? Well ... yeah ... I ... guess you're more ... can we start over?
     
10. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-30 death dying 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-30 Pub. Date: 2017-05-30
Image Number: 158601
Caption: Zzzzz. Excuse me, sir, how do I get to the Metro? Zzhuh? We're on a plane. Who are you? Second Lieutenant Richard Collins III, sir. On my way to my graduation. Um … we need to talk, Lt. Collings. How did I get here?
     
11. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-21 death dying 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-21 Pub. Date: 2017-05-21
Image Number: 157604
Caption: I'm tired of people complaining about how the coral reefs have pretty much died off. I mean yeah, a huge variety of fish and other sealife rely on the coral reefs. And yeah, about 500 million people in turn depend on that sealife for food, jobs and recreation. But it's not mankind's fault those sea creatures decided to sponge off the hard work of the polyps that made all the coral. Wait ... what? ... and it's not our fault that 500 million people didn't think ahead and get real jobs instead of sponging off welfare fish. Besides, marine habitats are something better left to private industry. If the fish really want vast expanses of underwater limestone shelters, let them buy it on the free market like the rest of us. Besides, I was just wasting my time with all those snorkeling vacations. I should've been working. You're just trying to make yourself feel better. Newsweak.
     
12. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-27 death dying 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-27 Pub. Date: 2017-04-27
Image Number: 157287
Caption: Clyde, if something ever happens to me … Don’t worry, bruh. I'll take you kid an' raise him up for you. I'll teach him all he need to know about life. He'll be the baddest two-year-old on the block. Ain't nobody gonna mess with him. I'll also teach him erethang you woulda taught him: I'll make him watch Star Track an' Doctor Boo an' some @#$% like that. Long as he ain't a snitch, we'll be cool. I was just going to say "call Susan."
     
13. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-25 death dying 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-25 Pub. Date: 2017-04-25
Image Number: 157285
Caption: Susan called 911 on me, Clyde. She was trying to get them to come take me in for a heart attack she thought I was having. But they put her on hold. And after a while, she sort of fell asleep and I sort of snuck away. Whachoomean "sort of," Big L? Ain't no such thing as "sort of." Somethin' either be or be not, bruh. One ambulance ride and one day in the hospital would eat up my whole life savings. Dead people ain't got no life savings, bruh.
     
14. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-18 death dying 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-18 Pub. Date: 2017-04-18
Image Number: 157013
Caption: List of places a brotha ain't gotta visit before he die be getting' longer, Big L. Florida, 'cause of "Stand Your Ground" … Chicago 'cause of all them gunfights … the whole Middle East 'cause of Isis 'n' them … I should name the list an' trademark it. Lotta people be leavin' money on the table when they don't trademark. "Bucket List" would've been worth millions. Whachoo got that rhymes with "Bucket List"?
     
15. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-15 death dying 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-15 Pub. Date: 2017-04-15
Image Number: 156723
Caption: 1982. I don't like going to the doctor. My Uncle Benny went to the doctor and never came back. Plus, there are lots of sick people there. How is it a good ideas to go sit in a waiting room where everyone has the plague? Plus, I believe in the Vulcan philosophy of mind over matter. If Spock could trance himself free of those killer alien spores, I could do that too. You're going to die young, Lemont. No, I'm going to live long and prosper.
     
16. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-04 death dying 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-04 Pub. Date: 2017-03-04
Image Number: 155071
Caption: What's life all about? Death. Erethang we do be about getting' what we can while we can. We ain't got but seven, eight decades to get all the naps, all the money, all the lovin', all the eatin', an all the tv-watchin' we can. I think we can do more that that in eight decades, Clyde. Life's about findin' five things you good at an' explorin' them to they fullest. You can't "explore" napping.
     
17. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-13 death dying 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-13 Pub. Date: 2017-02-13
Image Number: 154532
Caption: Sometimes America really disappoints me, Susan. Remember that Super Bowl commercial where the kid says he'll never be this and never do that, because he died in an avoidable childhood accident? My reaction was "with all these people watching … that commercial is probably going to save some child's life." America's reaction was "Hey! Save a kid some other time, I'm trying to eat a nacho here." I'm paraphrasing ... barely.
     
18. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-22 death dying 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-22 Pub. Date: 2017-01-22
Image Number: 152909
Caption: I'm so over 2017. Dr. Noodle. I was looking forward to it, but now it can't end too soon for me. I thought it was going to be like old times. I thought I'd get to see what she could do. With her talent and strength, there was so much she could have accomplished. Instead, we're left with a lot less light and a lot more darkness. Now who's going to save the republic from that spoiled little angry, narcissistic baby-man? I miss Carrie Fisher too. General Leia Organa was our only hope.
     
19. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-23 death dying 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-23 Pub. Date: 2016-06-23
Image Number: 144900
Caption: When are you going to teach your son about death? Never. If your toenail falls off, have you died? If you lose a foot to a grizzly bear, have you died? If a wild kangaroo rips off both your arms, have you died? If you can survive without parts of your body, who's to say you don't survive without the whole body? You can't just avoid having hard talks with your son. I don't want him to survive dying and then call me a liar.
     
20. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-05-20 death dying 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-05-20 Pub. Date: 2016-05-20
Image Number: 143336
Caption: Prince visits Lemont's dream. Where are you going? To meet her. Who? The maker. "The maker" is a "her"? Of course she is. Females are better teachers because they're better listeners … and I've still got so much left to say.
     
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