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Rudy Park

Comics about dates and dating.

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121. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-06-13 date 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-06-13 Pub. Date: 2017-06-13
Image Number: 159164
Caption: People see me as a heartless, miserly man whose pursuit of money leaves him with no room for personal relationships. It's taken me a long time to cultivate that image, Randy. But sometimes, when I'm home alone in the cold of the night, I long to feel a warm, comforting body beside me. That's why I've started warming my life-size doll made of $20 bills in the microwave. Is that weird? To each his own.
     
122. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-06-12 date 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-06-12 Pub. Date: 2017-06-12
Image Number: 159163
Caption: Can I ask you something man-to-man? What's up? Let's say you're delivering your usual enormous campaign contributions to the members of the city zoning board to ensure no potential competitors can open a café within 50 miles of our own. And let's say you realize you've fallen madly in love with one of the cronies you're bribing. Does it violate any sort of guy code to pursue a romance with you own crony? Very long talk ahead.
     
123. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-06-01 date 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-06-01 Pub. Date: 2017-06-01
Image Number: 158615
Caption: You've reached Randy, the Dating Doctor. What ails you? I'm friends with this girl … She's all I can think about. I treat her way better than the guys she dates, but she doesn't even know I'm alive. Of course she knows you're alive. You're the potted houseplant in the corner of her life. Do you understand what I'm telling you? That it's only a matter of time til it's my turn? You're more like a Venus Flytrap.
     
124. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-05-14 date 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-05-14 Pub. Date: 2017-05-14
Image Number: 157405
Caption: Give us a drink that says "We're back in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together again. Give my snookums anything she wants. Anything her precious heart desires. Anything at all! You don't remember what my favorite drink is, do you ... dear? Oh, please forgive me for thinking you'd appreciate that I'm not a presumptuous jerk who thinks you're incapable of ordering for yourself. Like that pompous English professor you left me for ... babykins. You mean "for whom I left you." Give my darling pudding-pop the worst-tasting swill on your menu. Leave me out of this! And give me a big, strong, English muffin.
     
125. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-05-01 date 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-05-01 Pub. Date: 2017-05-01
Image Number: 157558
Caption: Sunset gets later and later every day, little buddy. So what? So, sunset happens later in the day. That means I an accomplish a lot more before smooching hour. I can run an extra ten miles. I can chop an extra cord of firewood. I can catch an extra school of fish. I can prepare for my date by mining an extra nugget of lip balm from my secret lip balm quarry. I can download 30 extra books I'll never read.
     
126. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-04-21 date 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-04-21 Pub. Date: 2017-04-21
Image Number: 157028
Caption: "Ask Sadie Advice Hour," what's your problem?! I've been dating this man for 17 years. How do I get him to pop the big question? Which "big question" is that? "Hey, how come I'm not getting any lovin'?" … or "Hey, where are you going with all your luggage?" ... or "Hey, who's that guy and why are you riding him piggyback and kissing on his neck like that?" Get a clue, lady, he doesn't want you. Move on. Maybe I should give him more time.
     
127. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-04-14 date 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-04-14 Pub. Date: 2017-04-14
Image Number: 156750
Caption: Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? I'm in love with a Russian man. But ever since this Trump-Russia story broke, there's been tension. How do I keep politics from getting in the way of romance? You don't. You incorporate it. Try role play ... wait ... is this Trump? Trump would never call your failed advice "business."
     
128. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-04-06 date 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-04-06 Pub. Date: 2017-04-06
Image Number: 156486
Caption: As our CEO-in-Chief has demonstrated, it's good for a businessman to surround himself with children who'll cover for … I mean, help him. I've tried adopting a baby, but the agency grew suspicious just because I asked for the type least likely to sell out its parent. Unfortunately, I can't just clone myself. I need an actual mate if I want to produce accomplices ... I mean "off-spring." Your job, minion, is to craft a date-a-dude.com profile for me that'll recruit ... I mean "attract" a suitable mate. Very bad man.
     
129. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-04-02 date 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-04-02 Pub. Date: 2017-04-02
Image Number: 155501
Caption: I have a date tonight. She's coming over. I need to get home and clean it all up. Not so fast, little buddy. Cleaning is a delicate art. Clean too little, and she thinks you're a slob. Clean too much, and she thinks you're hiding something. It's almost as if you haven't read chapter 7 of the manual. What manual? "Mancleaning: By Randy 'The Rock' Taylor." You wrote a whole book about cleaning? It's the follow-up to "How to Reach the Tenth Level of Passion by Feng Shui-ing Your Dust Bunnies." It's all part of my best-selling "MAN-ual" series.
     
130. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-03-26 date 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-03-26 Pub. Date: 2017-03-26
Image Number: 156383
Caption: "They found seven earth-like planets, Randy. Amazing time, little buddy. And they're all in the same star system. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Almost certainly not. I'm thinking it's no coincidence there are seven earthlike worlds in that system, and seven continents on earth. Stop! I don't want to hear any crazy conspiracy theories! Not everything is connected! Get over it, loser! I always thought it was fishy that both the first Jewish menorah and the Kwanzaa kinara have seven candles. We should have our own astronomy show. STOP!!! Come to think of it, I once dated seven sisters from Caracas, which has seven letters. Coincidence??? "
     
131. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-03-15 date 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-03-15 Pub. Date: 2017-03-15
Image Number: 155666
Caption: I think Armstrong was coming on to me just now. 'Cause he was winking at you? The meaning of a wink depends entirely on context, little buddy. It could mean anything from "I want your body" to "I want you to dispose of this body." As someone who's dated several ladies of the mafia, trust me when I say it's sometimes tough to discern the difference. That's why I always recommend amateurs just ignore all winks. Ok.
     
132. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-02-26 date 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-02-26 Pub. Date: 2017-02-26
Image Number: 154365
Caption: Hi Darlene. Was that me you were waving at? Yes. Step half an inch closer, Rudy. This is a courtesy reminder of our upcoming midlife crisis appointment. Our what? I have you booked for "mad passionate fling with someone my friends and family would disapprove of," for March of this year through February of 2018. We start next month. That's enough time for you to firm your chest and arms up to a semi-acceptable level of near-manliness. It's also enough time for you to tattoo-up. I just emailed you an autocad blueprint with the designs and the specific locations on your body where they're to be scrawled ... and then she gave me a list of sweet nothings to whisper to her. My advice is to be very indignant about all this, beginning after February of 2018.
     
133. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-02-10 date 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-02-10 Pub. Date: 2017-02-10
Image Number: 154259
Caption: You're a hard man to read, Randy. At times, you seem like a cad. A Don Juan. A scoundrel. But at other times, you seem wise. Mature. Supportive. Ladies are most responsive to a "bad guy" to "good guy" ratio of 7 to 6.3756892. My findings have been published in the Oxford Journal of Lovin'.
     
134. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-02-05 date 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-02-05 Pub. Date: 2017-02-05
Image Number: 153213
Caption: I've decided it's time for me to start dating again. Again? I've known you for twelve years, and I've never seen you date. I've been focused on work to the exclusion of all else. I have no hobbies, no friends, no interests at all that are unrelated to by business. Lately that's started to take a toll on me, Rudy. I've become sullen. Depressed. Lonely. Bitter. Morose. My customers have begun to notice, and I worry my bad mood will drive them away. So ... you want to focus less on business because being all business is bad for business. Also, true love is eventually tax deductible.
     
135. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-12-15 date 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-12-15 Pub. Date: 2016-12-15
Image Number: 152125
Caption: Boss, the health inspector is here. Excellent. My hacker just finished restoring all the inspector's social media posts dating back to 1994. Tell him "It'd be a shame if someone's career were ruined by a 20-year-old video of him doing the Macarena in the buff." Don't wink too much. But not too little, either. Very bad man.
     
136. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-27 date 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-27 Pub. Date: 2016-11-27
Image Number: 150586
Caption: You've reached Randy the Love Doctor. What ails you? It's an emergency, Doctor Randy! I see a beautiful, sexy, confident, smiling lady at the end of the bar. Hold on, she … yeah she totally just looked at me. What do I do? Absolutely nothing. It took you 6.2 seconds to tell me she looked at you and to ask me what you should do about it. My exhaustive research has proven a man has only six seconds to respond affirmatively to a look of interest. After that, he'll either lose his nerve or whatever response he gives will seem rehearsed. Your best move now is Randy's Recovery #67: First, gaze off into the distance as if you're a tortured soul deep in self-reflection ... I can do that.
     
137. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-31 date 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-31 Pub. Date: 2016-10-31
Image Number: 150483
Caption: I’m not sure I'm going to keep watching "The Walking Dead." Because of who they just killed off? No, because of how they killed the character off. It would've been one thing if it were just scary … But it was gross, and traumatizing. My date just kept crying and wasn't in the mood for lovin' for 30 whole minutes after that. I haven't met a lady who was "in the mood" in years. They must've all been anticipating this episode. Sure.
     
138. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-09-25 date 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-09-25 Pub. Date: 2016-09-25
Image Number: 148040
Caption: So, what should we have for dinner tonight, Darlene? What? How about tofu burgers? You know how we love those. We? I could barbecue, we could invite the Johnsons and the Changs, and then maybe we could all cool off in the pool, throw some darts … Are you ok? Why are you talking like we're a couple? We've never even gone on a date and we never, ever will. You're right, maybe we shouldn't invite the Johnsons and the Changs. They're not getting along. Your "talk like you're already together" advice is bogus. Giving you advice is like giving a monkey my car keys.
     
139. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-09-24 date 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-09-24 Pub. Date: 2016-09-24
Image Number: 148784
Caption: Last night some people brought a screaming baby to the movie theater. My date spent the whole time complaining about that. I saw the guy in front of us texting someone to complain about how my date wouldn't stop talking during the film. Then someone complained to the usher about the guy texting. Most perfect hat-trick of grousing I've ever seen. I wonder what that baby was complaining about.
     
140. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-09-18 date 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-09-18 Pub. Date: 2016-09-18
Image Number: 147784
Caption: Welcome to the Ask Sadie Radio Advice Hour. You're on Vancouver. It's my boyfriend. He's so distant. No emotionally … Emotionally it's like we're in the very same room, on the very same chair … in the same pair of pants, actually … we're close, is what I'm saying. But he lives so far away. Thousands of miles. And neither one of us can just pick up and move. We both have ties. Responsibilities. There's only one piece of advice I can give you ... Sock puppets. What you do is, you scrawl your lover's likeness onto the sock puppet. Then. whenever you feel heartache, slip it onto your fist ... and pummel yourself in the face for ever starting a stupid long-distance romance in the first place. Um ... thank you?
     
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