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Candorville

Comics about dads.

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161. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-02-17 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-02-17 Pub. Date: 2014-02-17
Image Number: 107706
Caption: I remember I used to have hobbies. I used to collect comics, I used to read, I used to bike, I used to go to the movies … … I played tennis, I played cards, I shot pool, I whittled little Vulcan hand salutes out of driftwood … But once I had a kid, all that changed. I can't remember the last time I did any of that. It's like all I do all day is make sure he doesn't drop dead. Take some time off from that. C-Dog's Incredibly Bad Advice $2.
     
162. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-02-16 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-02-16 Pub. Date: 2014-02-16
Image Number: 107114
Caption: Did you ever try on your mom's lipstick when you were little? No way. Oh come on, it's perfectly natural for any kid to imitate his parents. I sometimes pretended I was shaving like my daddy. It's a natural stage of childhood development. There's nothing wrong with it. Well, I never tried on momma's lipstick. Oh. I did try whooping myself for disobeying me, though. Dios mio. Tell you one thing: the next time I told myself not to run out in the street, I listened.
     
163. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-02-14 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-02-14 Pub. Date: 2014-02-14
Image Number: 107417
Caption: I ain't really runnin' for Congress, Big L. I was just messin' with you. I know, Clyde. I knew you were joking the whole time. You always say you knew erething. When Darth Vader said he Luke daddy, you said "I knew that." It's like you need people to think you always two steps ahead. I knew you were gonna say that.
     
164. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-02-05 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-02-05 Pub. Date: 2014-02-05
Image Number: 106774
Caption: What's it like havin' a kid, Big L? I'll put it this way, Clyde … You remember how when we were kids, a single drop of water on a little blade of grass would be amazing to you? No, I don’t remember that. Well … now I do.
     
165. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-11-23 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-11-23 Pub. Date: 2013-11-23
Image Number: 104087
Caption: Kids are put on this earth for one reason only: To make sure adults don't get any sleep. It's a vast conspiracy run by a cabal of population-control fanatics. Kids equal sleep deprivation. Sleep deprivation equals early death. Early death equals seven billion people on earth instead of seventeen billion. So "they" encourage us to have more children so there'll be fewer people? I didn't say I had every little detail worked out. (Originally published on 2012-04-14).
     
166. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-11-22 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-11-22 Pub. Date: 2013-11-22
Image Number: 104086
Caption: Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! What is it?! Are you okay?! I fell athleep on my own! You promithed if I went to thleep on my own, you'd tell me another thtory when I woke up. You were supposed to sleep all night, not five minutes. You didn't thpethify that. (Originally published on 2012-04-13).
     
167. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-11-21 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-11-21 Pub. Date: 2013-11-21
Image Number: 104085
Caption: Google told me how to get you to go to sleep. Bwing it on! Experts divaricate on the matter. Mindell advocates progressively shortening the amount of time I remain in your room. Ferber, contrarily, posits closing your door for successively longer periods of time. The AAP postulates allowing you to select your own pajamas and sleep with teddy bears and other transitional objects will ameliorate your odds of success vis-a-vis somnolence. Zzzzzz. Brazelton posits that. I thaid Zzzzzz. (Originally published on 2012-04-12).
     
168. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-11-20 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-11-20 Pub. Date: 2013-11-20
Image Number: 104084
Caption: … And even after all that, he's still not tired. By the way … He just told me "I may have an idea for you that's win-win." Where's a two-year-old get something like that? Sometimes it's like a 37-year-old lives inside his head. Anyway, any idea how I can get him to go to sleep? Try calling him at 3am with boring stories about your kid's day. I guess that would be boring, since he already knows how they turn out. Zzzzz. (Originally published on 2012-04-11).
     
169. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-11-19 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-11-19 Pub. Date: 2013-11-19
Image Number: 104083
Caption: It's night-night time, buddy. But I don't wanna thleep. We all have to do things we don't want to do. For instance … I don't want to spend four hours every night trying to get my child to go to sleep. But I do it, because I'm supposed to. Well then I may have an idea for you that'th win-win. (Originally published on 2012-04-10).
     
170. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-11-18 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-11-18 Pub. Date: 2013-11-18
Image Number: 104082
Caption: Go to sleep. No. Go to sleep. No. Go to sleep. No. Google. Is it wrong to hypnotize your child? Tap tap ta t - Sigh. Go to sleep. No. Go to sleep. No … (Originally published on 2012-04-09).
     
171. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-10-27 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-10-27 Pub. Date: 2013-10-27
Image Number: 102724
Caption: Daddy? Tew me again what we awe fow Hawoween? This Halloween, daddy's going as Charles W. Chesnutt, who you'll of course recognize as the author of the "Uncle Julius McAdoo" stories from 1899. Uncle Julius was a former slave who overcame an oppressive society with the use of his humor, courage and wit. Also, magic and voodoo. What am I, daddy? You're the ham a slave offered a priestess in order to be able to eat the poisoned grapes, in one of the stories, of course. Don't worry, the snout is a dead giveaway. Daddy? Can I go with Uncle Cwyde fow Hawoween next yeaw?
     
172. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-10-21 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-10-21 Pub. Date: 2013-10-21
Image Number: 102926
Caption: My son needs speech therapy, but I don’t have the money. Insurance will cover it, but only once he turns three. Should I wait till he's three … … Or should I have him lie about his age and risk teaching him it’s ok to deceive; which'll possibly lead to a career in politics? This end up. Why e'erebody treat "risk" like it a four-letter word? Man up. C-Dog's Incredibly Bad Advice $2.
     
173. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-10-18 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-10-18 Pub. Date: 2013-10-18
Image Number: 102722
Caption: Why do I hafta go to thpeeth thewapy? That's why. You have to go to speech therapy because you still have a lisp. Now that you're three, the clinic agreed to take you. What'th a lithp? And I'm not thwee yeawth owd yet. I'm your dad. If I tell you to be three, you do it.
     
174. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-10-17 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-10-17 Pub. Date: 2013-10-17
Image Number: 102721
Caption: Son, I'm gonna take you to speech therapy. It'll be fun. I vote no. Lionel, a family is not a democracy. It's more like a medieval feudal system, with your dad at the top of the pyramid, making decisions for the child, who's right below. Below YOU in the pyramid are your bubble-gum and your toys. You get to make the decisions for them. Maybe you'we the one who needth thpeech thewapy. I nevew know what you'we thaying.
     
175. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-10-15 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-10-15 Pub. Date: 2013-10-15
Image Number: 102719
Caption: Daddy, why do they caw it a buttewfwy? Doth it tathte wike buttew? Um … What? I thed, "why-do-they-caw-it-a-buttewfwy-doth-it-tathte-wike buttew." Um … I'm not sure what you're saying, son. Maybe you have a heawing pwobwem wike Ms. Washidi at day cawe. Ow wite it down fow you, daddy. (Sigh) I ahve no idea what that says, son. Oh man. You'w iwwitewit. too?
     
176. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-10-14 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-10-14 Pub. Date: 2013-10-14
Image Number: 102718
Caption: stop jumping, son. I can't thtop jumping, daddy! If I jump 1,000 timeth, then congweth will thotp being a bunch of whiny-headth. Carry on, son. Awtho, my piwwow will tuwn into macawoni an' cheeth.
     
177. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-06-23 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-06-23 Pub. Date: 2013-06-23
Image Number: 97915
Caption: This is your wakeup call … You don’t exercise enough. Your son sees this, so he's likely to emulate you and end up being fat. Mmblno. You aren't assertive enough. You son sees this, so he's likely to become a pushover. You don’t spend much time reading books ... ... So your son's more likely to become a moron. Tha's kind of harsh. You can't handle harshness, so your son's more likely to become a crybaby.
     
178. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-06-11 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-06-11 Pub. Date: 2013-06-11
Image Number: 97910
Caption: I know what you're thinking, Lemont. Zzz … You write a wildly popular blog. You get to work from home, and as a single dad, that's important. On the other hand … The paper wants you back, to report on that overblown government-spying-on-journalists'-email-gate. And they're offering you a lot of money. Click. Huh? Whozit? Why are you here? That's classified. Anyway, I just don't want to see you sacrifice this special time with your boy. Especially since your own dad abandoned you.
     
179. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-05-30 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-05-30 Pub. Date: 2013-05-30
Image Number: 97402
Caption: The guys watch "The Maury Show." I ain't the daddy! Yes you is the daddy! Yes you is the daddy! Yes you is the daddy! No I ain't the daddy! No I ain't the daddy! No I ain't the daddy! Hold on … Let's find out. We have the results of the paternity test. You in trouble now! Brian, in the case of Linda's baby, Little Brian Jr, you are. BEEEEEEP! This is the Emergency Broadcast System. We interrupt this program to say "Are you really watching this #$%?"
     
180. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-05-29 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-05-29 Pub. Date: 2013-05-29
Image Number: 97401
Caption: The guys watch "The Maury Show." Maury, I can't possibly be the daddy. We was only together that one time. An' it was the first time for both of us. E'rebody know you cant make a baby if it your first time. What that tell you, Maury? What that tell you? ... That they need better sex ed classes. Thug 4 Life.
     
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