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Candorville

Comics about dads.

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81. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-08 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-08 Pub. Date: 2016-08-08
Image Number: 147065
Caption: I remember I used to have hobbies. I used to collect comics, I used to read, I used to bike, I used to go to the movies … I played tennis, I played cards, I shot pool, I whittled little Vulcan hand salutes out of driftwood … But once I had a kid, that all changed. I can't remember the last time I did any of that. It's like all I do all day is make sure he doesn't drop dead. Take some time off from that. C-Dog's Incredibly Bad Advice $2.
     
82. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-07 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-07 Pub. Date: 2016-08-07
Image Number: 146197
Caption: Consider yourself lucky. When I was your age, I couldn't afford to have an iPad my father took away from me.
     
83. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-21 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-21 Pub. Date: 2016-07-21
Image Number: 146142
Caption: Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! What is it?! Are you ok?! I dweamt Donald Twump was a mean-head. And then he came into my dweam and towd me I wath a "total woother," an' I should wethign my job as your baby. That's the last time I let you watch the news. You're not a "total loser," son. I don't have another job lined up.
     
84. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-20 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-20 Pub. Date: 2016-07-20
Image Number: 146141
Caption: It's night-night time, buddy. But I don't wanna go night-night. I do want to thtay awake. It'th wake-up time. I'll tell you what: You can either go to sleep and have magical dreams, or you can stay up and watch the boring Republican convention with daddy. Yaaayy! Ang-wy man! Ang-wy man! Ang-wy man! No, son, "angry-man" doesn't speak till the last night of the show.
     
85. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-23 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-23 Pub. Date: 2016-06-23
Image Number: 144900
Caption: When are you going to teach your son about death? Never. If your toenail falls off, have you died? If you lose a foot to a grizzly bear, have you died? If a wild kangaroo rips off both your arms, have you died? If you can survive without parts of your body, who's to say you don't survive without the whole body? You can't just avoid having hard talks with your son. I don't want him to survive dying and then call me a liar.
     
86. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-22 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-22 Pub. Date: 2016-06-22
Image Number: 144899
Caption: There was a two-inch long silverfish skittering over my oatmeal this morning. Lionel said "Daddy, why's it called a silverfish if it's not silver?" But, I thought they do look silver. Not after someone's smacked them 42 times with a shoe. I told Lionel "Shhh ... it's sleeping." Dios mio.
     
87. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-03 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-03 Pub. Date: 2016-06-03
Image Number: 143922
Caption: I wanna go home. But we just got here. You begged me to bring you here. You've been talking about it for days! I jutht wanna watch "Octonauts." Can I watch "Octonauts"? Can I? Can I watch "Octonauts"? When we get home and I turn on the tv, you'd better not cry and say "I wanna go outside." No pwomitheth.
     
88. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-05-23 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-05-23 Pub. Date: 2016-05-23
Image Number: 143637
Caption: Do you think it's weird to keep everything my son has ever made? What we talkin' 'bout keepin', bruh? Well … I have everything he's ever drawn. Normal. I have a tiny bag with the clippings from his first haircut. Normal. I have a tinier bag with his first booger. Lemme borrow your phone right quick so I can block you on Facebook.
     
89. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-05-21 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-05-21 Pub. Date: 2016-05-21
Image Number: 143337
Caption: I took Lionel to his second baseball game the other day. We hadn't been to a Candorville Chokers game in two years. Back then, two Choker dogs, cokes and fries cost me $38. Last night it cost me $48. Back then, all the players were like 10 years younger than I was. But now they are all like 15 years younger. Having a kid speeds up the aging process. Baseball still around?
     
90. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-05-09 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-05-09 Pub. Date: 2016-05-09
Image Number: 143021
Caption: Do you remember the very first time YOU got mad at someone? I don’t. It's one of those millions of "firsts" that are lost to time. Do you realize that everyone carrying around iPhones and Androids at all times has changed that, for the first time in human history? Whatever. I still don't think your son will ever appreciate your keeping a video of you accidentally dropping him in the toilet. (This cartoon was originally published on 2014-02-24).
     
91. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-29 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-29 Pub. Date: 2016-04-29
Image Number: 142413
Caption: I'm proud of you, Lemont. You're a good dad. I am? You must be. We used to spend hours together. Now I only get to see you about ten minutes a day. … And when I do see you, you look horrible. It's like you save all your clothing-and-soap money for your boy. ... Thanks? (This cartoon was originally published on 2014-04-05).
     
92. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-28 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-28 Pub. Date: 2016-04-28
Image Number: 142412
Caption: I remember your first word, son. It was "agoo." That'th not a word, daddy. It was to you. I could tell because your eyes would light up whenever I said it back to you. But in the movies people's eyes onwy wight up when they'we evil. Am I evil? What've I told you about taking things literally. I didn't take anything. (This cartoon was originally published on 2014-04-03).
     
93. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-01 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-01 Pub. Date: 2016-04-01
Image Number: 141137
Caption: You know what I like best about being a dad? When my little boy curls up in my lap and falls asleep. I hold him tight and know he feels warm and safe, and I feel like I can protect him from anything. Even from time. Because as long as he lives, he'll be able to close his eyes and remember this feeling and be two years old again ... hopefully without the wetting himself part. It's important to know when to stop talking.
     
94. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-31 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-31 Pub. Date: 2016-03-31
Image Number: 141136
Caption: You WANT to sleep, son. You know why? Because your dreams are waiting for you. As soon as you sleep, you'll be running through a big, wide field of grass, playing tag with Kermit the Frog. Then you'll be soaring up in the clouds with the birdies and with a flying unicorn. Then you'll be driving a big red fire truck on the rings of Saturn. Your dreams are the only place you can do these things without the authorities taking you away ... Zzzz ...
     
95. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-30 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-30 Pub. Date: 2016-03-30
Image Number: 141135
Caption: Son, daddy needs to go night-night. Want to help me go night-night? Ok, I'll help you. Thank you. If you climb under your covers and stay very very still and very very quiet … it'll make me go to sleep, like magic. Only you can do that for daddy, Lionel. That makes you important. I can't help you. If I do, you'll never learn to sleep on your own. If you need daddy, he'll be over here curled up in the fetal position.
     
96. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-01 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-01 Pub. Date: 2016-03-01
Image Number: 139625
Caption: So how's Lionel? Amazing. Guess what happened last night? We were eating dinner. He was playing with his food, so I asked him if he was done, and I reached for this plate. He said "I not done, but you can take it after I done." "Amazing" means something else once you have kids, I guess. He's using compound sentences three years early!
     
97. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-02-29 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-02-29 Pub. Date: 2016-02-29
Image Number: 139624
Caption: Goodnight, son. I hafta poop. Are you telling daddy the truth? Yeth. That's the third time you've told me that tonight. And every time, you don't poop. You just sit there and ask me to bring you toys. You're stalling for time, son. I'm on to you. Have you ever heard of "The Boy Who Cried Poop"? I hafta poop.
     
98. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-02-24 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-02-24 Pub. Date: 2016-02-24
Image Number: 139562
Caption: What's it like havin' a kid, Big L? I'll put it this way, Clyde … You remember how when we were kids, a single drop of water on a little blade of grass would be amazing to you? No, I don’t remember that. Well … now I do. (This cartoon was originally published on 2014-02-05).
     
99. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-02-19 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-02-19 Pub. Date: 2016-02-19
Image Number: 139238
Caption: We had a great day today, didn't we son? Did you have fun? Yes! Tell daddy your favorite part of our day, Lionel. We went to the zoo. We went to the moon. We found a whale on Jupiter. Hith name wath Hub Hub. Close enough. He wiked fwench fwies.
     
100. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-02-14 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-02-14 Pub. Date: 2016-02-14
Image Number: 138656
Caption: I put spyware on my son's computer. Last night, I saw what he's been looking at. Now I feel so guilty. He was watching dozens of Youtube videos detailing the theory that Jar Jar Binks was actually the most powerful evil Jedi in all of "Star Wars." I watched them all. They showed clips from the prequels where Jar Jar was clearly using the Jedi mind trick to manipulate everyone around him. Isaac Asimov was a huge "Star Wars" inspiration. These videos pointed out how Binks is eerily similar to a deceptively buffoonish character named "The Mule" in Asimov's "Foundation" series. It's undeniable. Jar Jar was the real "Phantom Menace," and Lucas must've abandoned that whole idea when we all jumped down his throat about the character. So ... you feel guilty for spying on your child since he wasn't doing anything wrong? I feel guilty for giving George Lucas such a hard time about Phantom Menace. The man was a genius.
     
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