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Candorville

Comics about dads.

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61. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-02 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-02 Pub. Date: 2017-03-02
Image Number: 155069
Caption: This morning, Lionel asked me how they make cereal and I realized … I had no idea. How am I supposed to keep my baby boy from growing up to be a moron if I can't even answer simple questions? Anyway, I found a video about cereal-making on Youtube and showed it to him. The best brad he'll be able to come up with when he's in school is "My dad can google better than your dad."
     
62. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-20 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-20 Pub. Date: 2017-02-20
Image Number: 154801
Caption: Well, you look down, Lemont. What's wrong? What could possibly be wrong? Today, the White House revoked my press credentials for asking one too many questions about their secret ties to Russia … and the Democratic party revoked my press credentials for asking one too many times why they're still using the same loser strategists ... and my baby boy revoked my dad credentials for turning off "Octonauts" one too many times. We all have bad days.
     
63. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-17 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-17 Pub. Date: 2017-02-17
Image Number: 154536
Caption: Son, please go to sleep. Please? Not till you thing me a thong. Lionel, I just sang you a bunch of songs. I sand you "Spock Had a Little Lamb," "Twinkle Twinkle Little Vulcan," "Hush Little Yoda," and "The Wheels on the Tardis." But you thang them in the wong order. Now you hafta thart over.
     
64. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-16 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-16 Pub. Date: 2017-02-16
Image Number: 154535
Caption: You'we gwounded, daddy. Why? You thed a cuth wowd. I did not say a cuss word. Yeth you did! You thed censored I can't believe I owe five censored thouthand dollarth! What did daddy tell you about listening at his door when He's doing his taxes? You're grounded.
     
65. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-15 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-15 Pub. Date: 2017-02-15
Image Number: 154534
Caption: The Chronicle wants to hire me back and send me to cover the whole ISIS thing. A few years ago, I'd have jumped at the chance, no matter how dangerous it is over there for journalists, because the truth is more important than me. But now, all I can think of is that my baby boy needs me. I'm his whole world. That makes me more important than anything. Does that make me a responsible parent, or a raging narcissist? A little raging narcissism is a good thing. Ph.D.
     
66. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-24 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-24 Pub. Date: 2017-01-24
Image Number: 153702
Caption: 1982. What do you want to be when you grow up, Lemont? I want to be a factory worker. Then I could wear overalls and join a union and live in a big house in a small town and win the heart of a pretty girl. Papa says I'm a pretty girl. Yeah, but your dad's not rich and snobby and he'd probably approve of me. Life doesn't have to be like the movies. I just think it'd be cool to be the "boy from the wrong side of the tracks" to someone.
     
67. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-10 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-10 Pub. Date: 2017-01-10
Image Number: 153087
Caption: Too many women feel entitled. I blame every man who calls his little girl a princess. I told my daughter "You ain't no princess! Take off that @#$% tiara! Ain't nobody gonna 'take care of you' but you." Now that's "real talk." A lot of men feel "entitled," too. Not my son. Made him pay me room an' board ever since he was three. Two packs of bubble gum due first of every month.
     
68. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-06 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-06 Pub. Date: 2017-01-06
Image Number: 152859
Caption: I feel like a burrito right now, Clyde. You can't have no burrito, Big L. You a single dad raisin' a two-year-old baby. What'll happen to him if you drop dead of a heart attack? Parents who don't take care of theyselves an' don't watch they carbs an minerals an' such is selfish. Whatever. Give me back my burrito, Clyde. Somebody gotta look out for the children.
     
69. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-09 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-09 Pub. Date: 2016-12-09
Image Number: 151817
Caption: Three years ago. Dating's so much harder now that I have a child, Susan. I'm not just looking for someone who'll make me happy. I'm looking for someone who'll be good for my son, too. That pressure makes most of my dates end in miserable failure. Your dates have always ended in miserable failure, Lemont. Well, I've always known I'd someday be a father.
     
70. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-08 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-08 Pub. Date: 2016-12-08
Image Number: 151816
Caption: Three years ago. I had a date last night, but all I could think of was getting back home to tuck in my boy. What's wrong with me, Susan? My mom was a single parent, and I always wished I had my dad, too. Shouldn't I be trying to find a new mom for my son? What are you doing for the next 18 or so years? WASHING MY HAIR!!!
     
71. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-20 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-20 Pub. Date: 2016-11-20
Image Number: 150529
Caption: No, I didn't have an imaginary friend when I was a kid. But I did imagine myself imagining an imaginary friend.
     
72. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-23 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-23 Pub. Date: 2016-10-23
Image Number: 149364
Caption: It all started when I spanked my two-year-old son. He was out of control. He was hitting and kicking and spitting. I tried everything. I tried a timeout. I tried redirection. I tried bribery. But when he threw a clock at his baby sister's head, I realized I had to do something drastic. So I swatted him once on the behind. Very lightly. For the rest of the day, he pointed at me and said "You don't hit me. That's bad. You say you're sorry." And I couldn't even argue, because that's exactly what I always told him to tell someone if they hit him. Part of being a parent is becoming comfortable with being a hypocrite. Is two too young for military school?
     
73. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-12 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-12 Pub. Date: 2016-09-12
Image Number: 148479
Caption: I am the God of thy father Cletus. What? Who that? Cletus. Cletus Dogg. Your father. Didn't nobody call my daddy "Cletus." Erebody called him "Hot Sauce." I call him by his given n … Never mind, that is not important right now, Clyde. "C-Dog." (Sigh) fine, C ... no, it's not fine.
     
74. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-09 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-09 Pub. Date: 2016-09-09
Image Number: 148218
Caption: I think my son's ready to learn a sport. Whachoo gon' teach him, Lemont? You gon' teach him to bounce the ball off his foot an' chase after it 'fore it go in the street? Or you gon' teach him to get the ball swatted out his hand when he try to shoot? Or you gon' teach him to miss the rim an' the backboard altogether? None of that has ever happened. In the same game. You gon' teach him to make his one an' only shot in the wrong basket?
     
75. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-28 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-28 Pub. Date: 2016-08-28
Image Number: 147131
Caption: How's your boy? Lionel's amazing! I put his little shoe on him and was about to tie it … when all of a sudden he reached down with his tiny, pudgy little hands and tied them himself. Can you believe that?! He's only two years old - Most kids can't ties their shoes until they're at least five! He's so advanced! At this rate, by the time he's ten, my boy won't need me for anything!
     
76. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-16 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-16 Pub. Date: 2016-08-16
Image Number: 147386
Caption: I'm going to Uganda next week to write an article about their harsh anti-gay laws. Can you watch my son for me while I'm gone? I wish I could, Lemont, but I have a mmble to do so I just can't. You just mumbled. You didn't say an actual thing. No, I don't think that happened.
     
77. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-12 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-12 Pub. Date: 2016-08-12
Image Number: 147069
Caption: What's wrong, Lemont? I decided to show my son the same cartoons I saw as a kid. So I Youtubed "Casper the Friendly Ghost." He liked it, but all I could think about was "Hey … that's a dead kid who's not allowed to go to heaven … He's condemned to roam the earth forever, trying in vain to make friends. And every time he fails, he tries to off himself." So those stories were fine for you but not for your kid? So then we watched the Smurfs, and I was like, "This is a caste system!"
     
78. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-11 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-11 Pub. Date: 2016-08-11
Image Number: 147068
Caption: Hello, you've reached the home of Lemont Brown. I can't come to the phone right now because my son and I are busy building a fort out of sofa cushions. Please leave a message and I'll call you back when I'm a grown-up again. Beep.
     
79. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-10 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-10 Pub. Date: 2016-08-10
Image Number: 147067
Caption: I haven't finished reading a novel since my son was born. Taking care of him leaves me no time for any of my old hobbies. So I'm coming up with new hobbies he and I can do together. That makes sense. Today's hobby is going to be "Hide and Seek." I'll take about an hour to "find" him just so he'll think he's doing a great job hiding. How long does it take you to read a chapter in a novel? I don't see what that has to do with anything.
     
80. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-09 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-09 Pub. Date: 2016-08-09
Image Number: 147066
Caption: How do I take care of my child, do my work, and still make time to do the things I used to do for fun? C-Dog's Incredibly Bad Advice $2. Your problem is you think you can have e'rethang. Butcha-cain't! Get over it! In life, you ALWAYS gotta pick two outta three. Is that backed up by any studies? Oh, so you want advice cheap, quick and well-informed?
     
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