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Candorville

Comics about dads.

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281. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-03-08 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-03-08 Pub. Date: 2009-03-08
Image Number: 30452
Caption: Wow. You're not doing so well, Roxanne. What do you mean? I feel fine. No, on my blog. 20% of my readers think I should dump you and sue you for custody of Lionel. Twen-- huh?! 15% think I should flee to Mexico and change my name. 80% think I should send a cyborg back through time to make sure your parents never meet. You ran a poll about me on your blog, and those were the options you gave? And wait... ...That's 115%. They REALLY don't like you.
     
282. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-02-27 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-02-27 Pub. Date: 2009-02-27
Image Number: 30264
Caption: "All by himself, my dad sent the Dubois vampires straight to hell… "…and rescued the innocents. Oh, thank you! "It was glorious, until…" I hated my brothers. They snored. Pshhht! I'd have seen that coming a mile away. Bruh… You're MARRYING one of them.
     
283. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-02-26 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-02-26 Pub. Date: 2009-02-26
Image Number: 30263
Caption: The Dubois Clan was young, as vampire broods went. But dad was even younger. "Too impatient to finish his training. "Thought he could slay the fangs by himself." "Fangs"? Hunter slang for "vampires." Why not "vamps"? Copyright issues. Lawyers would get involved, and... WILL YOU LET ME FINISH MY STORY?! "Fangs." Phsst.
     
284. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-02-25 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-02-25 Pub. Date: 2009-02-25
Image Number: 30262
Caption: ARTEMIS Kenchu, my dad, was a vampire hunter. He heard the Dubois Clan had settled in New Orleans. "He tracked the vampires through the swamps… "…across the bayous… "…through the snow…" Snow? In New Orleans? The Kenchus were never great with directions.
     
285. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-02-24 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-02-24 Pub. Date: 2009-02-24
Image Number: 30261
Caption: I'm not who you think I am, Lemont. You're not Saxon Kenchu? No, I AM Saxon Kenchu… You don't work for my fiancée's dad? No, I do… Will you kindly let me tell my story? Well, you're not exactly getting to the point. Saxon Kenchu is getting very angry! Really? So far your story hasn't made me feel anything at all.
     
286. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-02-16 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-02-16 Pub. Date: 2009-02-16
Image Number: 30185
Caption: I'm telling you, your fiancée and her dad…They're vampires! Yeah, I get it, they're bossy. No! Look, when Obama limited CEO pay to $500k at bailed-out companies…Roxanne's dad got mad. Went around the office biting everyone's head off. Yeah, he can yell. "That reminds me of my first day as the paper's White House correspondent..." Press. It was a bloodbath! Y'mind? You're interrupting a perfectly good flashback.
     
287. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-02-13 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-02-13 Pub. Date: 2009-02-13
Image Number: 29989
Caption: Man, are you thick. Let me put it this way: if you marry Roxanne, she'll suck the life out of you. Yeah, she's bossy. No, she will LITERALLY suck the life out of you. Roxanne, her dad, the whole family…they're…they're vampires. Don't you understand?! They're soulless creatures who drink blood! Ok, I'm a writer, so I can tell when someone goes one stop too far on the metaphor bus.
     
288. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-02-12 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-02-12 Pub. Date: 2009-02-12
Image Number: 29988
Caption: You can't marry Roxanne. What? Why not? Look, bruh, I know everything about the Dubois Family. I grew up in their house. My dad was their servant. I've seen all the skeletons in their closet. …You mean that figuratively, right? I know where the bodies are buried.
     
289. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-02-09 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-02-09 Pub. Date: 2009-02-09
Image Number: 29985
Caption: All RIGHT. Camping with my crazy fiancée's dad's personal assistant whom I barely know. …Good times. So, tell me again why we're camping in a field of garlic? No reason. Really. All right… Nobody else comes here. Puts me at ease to know there's no one else around for miles. That makes one of us. Roxanne ever tell you 'bout my knife collection?
     
290. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-01-30 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-01-30 Pub. Date: 2009-01-30
Image Number: 29704
Caption: "Hey Lemont, wanna go camping?" who are y… Oh, I remember you. You're Saxon Kenchu. You work for my fiancée's dad. Say, this wouldn't be my fiancée's insulting attempt to replace my friend's with someone like you who she finds acceptable, would it? "No (smile)." Ok, I'll go get my hat.
     
291. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-01-09 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-01-09 Pub. Date: 2009-01-09
Image Number: 29203
Caption: Whadya mean, "Don't answer that if it's your fiancée"? Why not? Well, um… See, them phone waves can cause a tumor. Don't be stupid. Hey Rox, what's up? KEEP YOUR DUMB-@#$ FRIENDS AWAY FROM ME! (Click). …And I may have accused her of lyin' about you bein' the father of her son.
     
292. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-01-08 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-01-08 Pub. Date: 2009-01-08
Image Number: 29202
Caption: I KNEW IT! I knew my man Big L ain't the real daddy! Listen, I know you're just looking out for your friend "Big L," and I can respect that. So I'll answer your concerns. (a) Senator Edwards is here to visit daddy. They're friends. And (b)… SMACK! OOH! Sweet fancy Moses!
     
293. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-01-07 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-01-07 Pub. Date: 2009-01-07
Image Number: 29201
Caption: No, Senator John Edwards is not Lionel's "real father." And does Lemont know you're here casting aspersions on his betrothed? SENATOR JOHN EDWARDS! I - mean - REALLY! Is it safe to come out? I heard my name. You busted like the economy.
     
294. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-01-06 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-01-06 Pub. Date: 2009-01-06
Image Number: 29200
Caption: WHAT?! I said, who your kid's REAL daddy… My boy Big L or former Senator John Edwards? And 'fore you answer, keep in mind you hooked up to a lie detector. Really? It looks more like a wire being held by some hoodlum in the shrubbery. My man Lysol a good judge a character. Buzzzz.
     
295. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-01-05 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-01-05 Pub. Date: 2009-01-05
Image Number: 29199
Caption: Why are you here? And why did you just clip that wire onto my finger? No reason. Say, yo' name Roxanne? You know it is. I'm the mother of your best friend's child. What is this? Just gettin' a baseline. A base… Say, this isn't some sort of lie detector test, is it? Don't be silly. Well... Ok... By the way, who yo' kid's REAL daddy? Buzzzzz.
     
296. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-01-02 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-01-02 Pub. Date: 2009-01-02
Image Number: 29095
Caption: Don’t you see, Big L, you usin' this kid to work out ya own issues. I don't think so. Yeah? Rewind, right quick: You said "I'm not gon' let LEMONT grow up without a father." So? So? YOUR name "Lemont." HIS name "Lionel." I'm not following. I seen enough Dr. Phil to know this spit ain't healthy.
     
297. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-01-01 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-01-01 Pub. Date: 2009-01-01
Image Number: 29094
Caption: Whether I'm Lemont's real dad or not, I love that little baby, and he loves me. No way I'm gonna let him grow up without a father. No way. Tsk… WE grew up without fathers. Exactly! And I don't want my kid having a 50% chance of becoming a menace to society. No offense. You gotta stop sayin' that if you ain't know what it mean.
     
298. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-12-31 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-12-31 Pub. Date: 2008-12-31
Image Number: 29093
Caption: All right, I'm off to see my son. Big L, ain't you forgettin' something? Oh yeah, diapers! Actually, I meant you forgot how, a couple of months back… …We caught some dude who might be yo' son REAL daddy sneakin' out yo' woman house. I have no memory of that. Man... denial like an art form with you. It's a gift really.
     
299. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-12-30 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-12-30 Pub. Date: 2008-12-30
Image Number: 29092
Caption: The crazy vegetarian chick won't let me take our son outside. Ever. It's like she's scared of the world. Well no more. Today, I take charge. I'm taking Lionel to the park. I'm giving the world to the next generation. That is my new year's resolution. I resolve to watch more TV.
     
300. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-12-21 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-12-21 Pub. Date: 2008-12-21
Image Number: 28939
Caption: So you're saying you delivered all the gifts last summer. I figured the cost of reindeer fuel would skyrocket in December. Lichen's cheaper in the off-season. Of course. Anyway, I delivered Xboxes, iPods, the works. But just this week, kids from all over the world sent me their wishes. They don't want iPods. They want their mommies and daddies to have their jobs and their homes back. I see. And you feel you've crushed their dreams, condemning them to lives of bitterness and despair. Actually, I was wondering why I'm such a tightwad, but thanks for giving me another complex.
     
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