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Candorville

Comics about dads.

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241. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-10-24 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-10-24 Pub. Date: 2011-10-24
Image Number: 67154
Caption: Closing Arguments. Your honor, you've heard a lot of reasons why Lemont Brown should not be given custody of Lionel. You've heard that his friends are thugs, liars and miscreants. You've heard he's a poor, pudgy Star Trek fanatic who may be mentally unhinged and never calls his mother. Get to the "but" already! Haha, you said "butt!"
     
242. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-08-11 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-08-11 Pub. Date: 2011-08-11
Image Number: 64169
Caption: Roxanne loves Lionel too. And she's rich. So why does he need me? Simple: I love him and he loves me ... but there's also the big picture, Judge. The social dynamics, set in motion by slavery's destruction of the black family unit ... have created a culture in which generations of black men have grown up estranged from our feathers. "Fathers," I mean. Sorry, I'm not used to saying that word. Objection, the petitioner is being a drama queen.
     
243. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-08-08 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-08-08 Pub. Date: 2011-08-08
Image Number: 64166
Caption: So you finally testified in court? Yeah, but not before Roxanne subpoenaed everyone and anyone who could say something bad about me. There was Reverend Wilfred. He puts an IOU in the collection plate every Sunday. Federal Agent Murph. And during the summer of 1982, he consorted with an unknown Iranian. I was seven! We were playing tag! He was from Van Nuys! And ... I don't want to talk about it. Many men who neglect their mothers can still be good fathers.
     
244. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-07-12 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-07-12 Pub. Date: 2011-07-12
Image Number: 63188
Caption: Roxanne's lawyer calls a rebuttal witness to challenge Doctor Noodle's assessment that Lemont Brown is a sane, fit father. Mr. Benny Russell … … Were you Lemont Brown's cellmate at Sunnyville Sanitarium? No one will give me any paper. Do you remember where you are? Do you remember who I am? You're the man who promised to give me paper if I say "Lemont Brown is totally insane." OBJECTION! Overruled. If I don't finish my story the captain can't open the orb box, and if he can't open the orb box, he can't contact the prophets.
     
245. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-06-23 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-06-23 Pub. Date: 2011-06-23
Image Number: 62375
Caption: My earliest memories were of the vampires who turned me. "Mommy" and "daddy." They were very cold. Because they didn't hug you, or give you the love and support a young girl needs? Because they were ded. Fascinating.
     
246. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-06-05 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-06-05 Pub. Date: 2011-06-05
Image Number: 61193
Caption: I never thought I'd miss Stargate. Say what? Don't get me wrong, it was no Farscape or Babylon 5, or even Deep Space Nine … Don't. You wanna know why your geek shows keep getting' canceled? It's 'cause the people wanna hear about their own lives. They want it real. People wanna find out who the babydaddy is. Don't nobody care about the ballchinians from Planet Weewax. You don't get it. Sci-fi uses metaphor to make us see real-world issues in a different light. Like when Teal'c gated to Chulak to save his son Ryac from the Symbiote. He -- DON'T!
     
247. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-06-02 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-06-02 Pub. Date: 2011-06-02
Image Number: 61587
Caption: WHERE ARE THE PICTURES?! I had hundreds of pictures of Lionel and me, I was gonna use them to prove to the court I'm his dad! Susan? Why you sittin' in the dark in Lemont's apartment e'retime he away? An' is that your evil dog using computer? GILLIGAAAAAAN ... The Skipper tooooo .... FOCUS! I'm having a problem here! Huh? What? Snap snap.
     
248. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-06-01 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-06-01 Pub. Date: 2011-06-01
Image Number: 61586
Caption: So the judge ruled out DNA. I still have hundreds of pictures of Lionel and me together that prove I'm his dad. I have pictures of me and the Three Stooges together. Photoshop is so WIN! I miss the '90s. Look: it's me, you and Justin Bieber.
     
249. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-05-30 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-05-30 Pub. Date: 2011-05-30
Image Number: 61584
Caption: The judge denied our request for a DNA test, so there's no way to prove Lionel is your son. What? Why?! Roxanne claimed it violated her religion. She says she's a Teteoinnan … … and that their ancient Aztec scriptures dictate only the MOTHER GODDESS can examine our DNA under electron microscopes. People are always reading scripture however the #$%* they want to.
     
250. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-05-20 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-05-20 Pub. Date: 2011-05-20
Image Number: 61000
Caption: Roxanne says she's never even HEARD of you? Custody battles can be vicious. I thought I was ready for anything. Like her saying you're poor, inadequate, slovenly … a little bit fat, or -- YES, like that. But then we didn't know what to do, so the judge declared a recess. I'm always prepared for this eventuality. Batman or Boba Fett? What's your poison?
     
251. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-04-15 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-04-15 Pub. Date: 2011-04-15
Image Number: 59640
Caption: Lemont? I’m sorry I'm messing up your custody case. But I'll do better, honest! Your son should get to be with his dad. Especially since you're not in Afghanistan. What? Mommy says I can't meet my dad 'cause he's in Afghanistan driving soldiers all over in a big metal truck. She says he used to drive them from the base to their missions, but now he drives them from Earth and heaven. ... Oh. How much gas do you think that takes?
     
252. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-03-30 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-03-30 Pub. Date: 2011-03-30
Image Number: 59014
Caption: Facebook. Messages. From Sasha Mitchell. Lemont, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but … When you told me you were fighting for joint custody of your son, I was a little disappointed. What? Why? Because, well, you never knew this; but back in college, when we were talking, I ... Well ... This is embarrassing ... I sorta hoped with all my heart that one day, I would be the one to give you a child. Is that why you carried around a teddy bear and called him "Lemont, Jr."? Is that why you made him Starfleet pajamas that matched mine? YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO REMEMBER THAT! I thought you were making fun of me.
     
253. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-02-23 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-02-23 Pub. Date: 2011-02-23
Image Number: 57544
Caption: Even as a child, my client demonstrated the sort of loyalty that makes him a great father. His best friend was a small thug named Clyde. Rather than abandon Clyde, Lemont stuck by him for life! Influencing him! Helping to shape him into a better person! Where is this Clyde now? In that alley over that way, selling hubcaps out of his trench coat. But that's beside the point.
     
254. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-02-05 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-02-05 Pub. Date: 2011-02-05
Image Number: 56820
Caption: Facebook Messages. From Sasha Mitchell. Lemont, if you want the photo I took of you way back in college, you'll have to come and get it. Describe the photo, so I can tell whether it's worth the trip. Well … it's you behind the door monitor desk in your cute uniform, talking to some guy who must be your dad. What? I don't HAVE a dad! That's biologically impossible. I was practically raised by Bill Cosby. Tap tap tap tap tap tap.
     
255. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-12-10 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-12-10 Pub. Date: 2010-12-10
Image Number: 55014
Caption: Facebook. Messages. From Sasha Mitchell. I've thought about you from time to time, these past 16 years, Lemont. I've wondered if you're happy. How's your life going? Court will come to order … the case of "Impoverished Black Father Who Has No Chance to Win Custody From the Filthy-rich White Mother of his Child" can ... Um ... seriously? Mr. Brown, is this really how your lawyer filed your case? My life's going fine. Might I suggest you represent yourself?
     
256. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-11-26 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-11-26 Pub. Date: 2010-11-26
Image Number: 54483
Caption: You don't remember any of that? Not a thing. I've completely blocked out my childhood. You don't remember waiting by the phone every weekend, hoping your dad would call? Nope. You don't remember being home alone for hours until your mom got back from work? Uh uh. But you DO remember betting me we'd have a black president before we'd have a woman president. I believe you owe me 50 packs of Bubblicious.
     
257. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-10-25 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-10-25 Pub. Date: 2010-10-25
Image Number: 53533
Caption: Times are tight and we have an 8-year-old to feed. Should I cancel our cable and internet? It'd save us $100/month. #$%& no. Then y'all'd have to actually talk to each other. That'd be MORE costly. Really? C-Dog's incredibly bad advice $2. Right now. If your wife cheatin', you don't know. If your 8-year-old emotionally disturbed, you have no idea. A $100 cable bill cheaper than alimony and a therapist. I hadn't thought of it like that.
     
258. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-08-08 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-08-08 Pub. Date: 2010-08-08
Image Number: 50410
Caption: My mom and dad used to point out a person's ethnicity for no reason. Every joke or story would start with that. Like "So this one Korean dude asked me for the time at the bus stop today." Or "So this one Mexican cat told me there's a sale on records down on Broadway." What did ethnicity have to do with anything? It's like they tossed in random, unhelpful observations ... ... because they didn't really have anything interesting or insightful to say. You don't think it's insightful of me to point out that you always change the subject? That's so random!
     
259. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-03-01 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-03-01 Pub. Date: 2010-03-01
Image Number: 44610
Caption: Explain why you haven't subpoenaed Roxanne yet. I want custody of my son! The Law Guy. Well, there was the storm. And then the court was closed for the holiday. Made it hard to get the subpoena. Then there're the three process servers who disappeared without a trace trying to deliver it. ... See, I'd have led with that last one.
     
260. Comic Strip Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-02-19 dad 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-02-19 Pub. Date: 2010-02-19
Image Number: 44140
Caption: So, when's the first step in winning custody of my son? The Law Guy. Already underway. As soon as the process server manages to deliver the summons, we'll be made of win. "Made of win"? My nephew taught me that. I'd be more comfortable if my lawyer used, y'know ... LAWYER TALK. Your attitude is so fail.
     
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